Hey Folks, I hope everyone is doing Great!
Today for the first time in my life I am standing at a point where I am so confused, Can't even talk to someone about how I feel. Does being nice always help. For my life till now I have been nice and helpful towards everyone. Even the ones who are rude towards me. I help without expecting anything in return. But now I feel that I've wasted everything. Feels like I'm a loser. Losing Motivation to help and be the nice guy.
I know that I can't become an asshole, people hate that. I always tell myself, Fuck what people think, I won't help them but end up helping them. It feels like that You are being used.
What should I do? If you were in my place, What would you do? How do I control this feeling where I go and help people?
Thank You in Advance :)
>>17337659
Bump
>>17337676
What?
the problem with you (and a lot of guys, particularly on 4chan) is that you think the world is made up of 'nice guys' and 'assholes'.
human interaction is a lot more complex than that. we aren't chads vs. betas.
being 'nice' is not the same as being a push over or being someones bitch. being nice simply means your default mode is kindness. when someone acts in such a way that doesn't warrant kindness, you simply ignore them if you can, or respond if you feel you have to. its not 'being an asshole' to retaliate to someone who is being an asshole.
its not being 'nice' to treat someone kindly when they've been rude.
Oprah says 'we teach people how to treat us'. so let people teach you. treat them with the respect they show they deserve. do not base respect on intelligence, strength or looks, but simply how they react to you and the people around them.
be nice as a default. if they aren't nice, dont be nice to them.
>>17337684
>be nice as a default. if they aren't nice, dont be nice to them.
The Problem is even if they are not nice to me, I tend to be (I personally want that feeling to be controlled)
>>17337693
right... and my advice is to NOT do that.
>>17337693
I was similar to you in the past and I was afraid to admit to myself that the issue was a lack of spine. I was afraid what would happen when I stood up for myself.
I started boxing and being more selfish. I still want to do the best for people around me but if someone steped too far out of line I'll throw them under the bus. I'm also not above threatening people if they're taking the piss.
Generally I'm far more respected and liked.
