I don't even know what to type. It's gotten to a point where there's no expectation of a good or inspiring answer.
>24 year old, half spanish, half white guy from the city.
>Not spanish enough as in I don't even speak Spanish
>Not white enough as in I don't have wealthy family/ my own vehicle/ in a university
>Did community college, saw what a joke loans are for the future
>Have had way too many relationships and sexual partners
>Completely disconnected from both sides of family (the half breed)
>Lost all friends at 21 when moved back in with father
>Mother smoked her legs off and is now in wheel chair
>All grandparents dead
>No real hobbies because weed, trying to quit
There's a few details to note: I had gotten mugged and suplex'd onto my head back at 21 and haven't been the same since. The damage seems to have taken away my ability to be social.
What's worse is that it seems like there's nothing that can be done with me. My sister and dad both left on vacation for California and I've been alone for the last week, trying to decide if I just disappear, will the emotional damage really be as stunting to my family as people say, or would I just be one less bill to worry about?
The problem would be doing so without leaving a body to be found. I don't think you can order a self-kidnapping or something.
>>17335169
Spanish or Latin American?
If you're Spanish, (from Spain) you're white as fuck. Spainyards are pale and very western and euroy. If you're from Mexico or some shit and speak Spanish that's totally different
Why not give shit an honest try first? College isn't for everyone, join a vocational program. There is a serious need for professional welders, plumbers, electricians etc. These jobs sometimes pay near $40/hr and you get to laugh at everyone with 100k in loans for their womyns studies major.
The key to starting to get a good life is financial independence. You'll never be happy, never begin to be happy as long as you rely on someone else for your day to day needs and are a financial burden.
As for the head injury, what did the doctors say? have you had any extensive testing?
>>17335180
I'm actually part both. I'm not a simple ethnicity, my lineage is a bunch of race mixers. I have Italian, Irish, native American, Dutch, spanish, Mexican, Ukrainian, and Puerto Rican in me. For the most part, this just makes people not trust me since they can't pinpoint "what I am".
>>17335189
That was my father's path. Hes an electrician for Local 3 and has been trying to get me in, but it's tough. Everything's becoming competitive and because cheaper labor forces are coming out, people in the field aren't retiring. And as racist as it sounds, I dont want to or think I should have to be stuck doing the hard, physical labor for the white guys just because I'm part spanish/ Hispanic.
It feels largely as though because I don't have a country or race to truly "represent", no one outside of immediate family would be willing to fund or help me.
>>17335189
Forgot to add, the night the mugging happened, I was sent to the hospital and came out with a ridiculous ambulance and emergency room bill that I couldn't pay. Since then, my coverage under my dad's union stopped because I was unemployed and out of school. So, no. I haven't been able to get checked out because the cost would be too much, my dads close to retiring so he's not making much anymore, my sister is struggling to pay off her apartment by herself and my mom went back to smoking and laying around, after months of rehab to try and help her.
I'm pretty much fucked. Currently in a position where I'm watching myself slowly inch towards becoming homeless and the way things are set up, nothing I do or say is going to stop it. No one wants to join in on someone's live once it's in crisis, and I have no one anymore.
If this were a cry of help from someone kidnapped with a gun to their head, it feels as though the most I'm going to get is "at least it'll all be over soon".
