>be me, 22
>currently living with parents + saving up to move out
>tense relationship with father
>if he has advice/a suggestion, etc. does not listen to my opinion and eventually becomes belligerent if I don't agree
>this applies to everything, from minor things like where towels are placed to car repairs
>also has a habit of being extremely long-winded, so will start talking about something I disagree with, and keep talking and talking until I can't take it anymore and have to say something
>from his POV, I become annoyed the moment he starts talking, which is honestly true
>thus he perceives me as having an attitude problem, which comes from resenting the fact that he shuts his ears off whenever I talk, creating a vicious cycle
>this is how all fights happen
>he just texted me saying he can't take it anymore and I'm free to move out whenever
I've been planning on moving out ever since I was forced to move back home, but I have to pay rent to my parents, which evaporates any savings from my already low-paying job. Any suggestions, or alternatively how to repair the current situation with my father? I've swallowed my pride in the past and apologized, but I'm sick of doing it for the sole sake of assuaging his anger.
basic generation gap.
in our society people are not allowed to fully develop into a whole person but are barely allowed to get some technical competence and then go work as a slave to keep this absurd industry running. of course this will frustrate them inside, and the family is one of many compensatory spaces for this. in the long run it is the most effective. so, instead of actually putting themselves together as persons before starting a relationship, they go into them to fill this void. when a marriage fails at this, because the partner is in the same attempt, offspring is the next move to try and of course, with a fully dependen child you feel like youre god. this situation is prolonged until the poor kid, now nearly an adult, cant take the situation no more and his own person begins asking for recognition.
general advice here is hard, cause specific situations that illustrate this general pattern are just too wide. by your words, you have the means to get out. what are you waiting for? you feel insecure about it?
Its hard but move out. I was lucky enough to be moving together with my BF which made it easier (not for my mum who is still giving me grief about practically every day since I moved 7 years ago)
I used to post of another forum about feeling shit, my mum emotionally manipulating me and making my anxiety/ depression worse which screwed up my development as a working adult. She loves me loads but constantly asked/ yelled at my why I was unhappy all the time and I was fat, not into fashion like she was, not dating, not applying for jobs she suggested which where above and beyond my field of expertise and why I had low self esteem? That and she likes her wine, ALOT, and has a bullying relationship with my stepdad who is a yes man. Whenever I had tried to open up she would literally talk over me or say I need to get drugs from the doctor/ gastric band will fix everything, like I was 2 seats on a plane fat which I am not.
Moving out was the best thing I ever did. Its never fully gone away but I've matured so much since and it gets better by the day and I can just not pick up/ put down the phone to her if she is acting like a total bitch.
>>17334961
Amazing. Very well put.
i never realized that the tiger was some sort of the mind voice of the kid...
