>>17334713
Solidary bump

>>17334713
If you know they are flakes why do you let them pick the day. here's how it should go if you want to hang out with them: "I will be here on this day at this time, come if you would like" If they don't come, fuck em have a good time by yourself and then get less shithead friends

>>17334819

good point. generally speaking we arent 'go out' types. when we do its a specific restaurant, and its our sort of tradition we go to together.

generally speaking its just coming over to my place for a movie or a meeting on our scripts or this or that and the third. not really a 'meet me at X event if you want'.

but you still arent wrong. I tend to ask them to pick a day because it seems easier. i am open all week becuase ive decided to take a break from sex, but they're not very good about it.

insisting on a day, then goign to the next day or the next day is definitely a smarter option. i dont know why i didnt think of this. i mean im sure ive done it before and get a lot of 'idk yet' but i can be more insistent on it.

sorry for the puss thread, you are very right. just gotta pick a day, then insist on the next one or the next one til it happens.

stop seeking their business.
what do you gain?
their presence in different environments?

this seems to be the toss up you've provided.
i mean which one slows your life down more?

holding onto something?
or
not having them as friends anymore?

>>17334845

friendship and relationships are a bit complex. you have to put in some effort in order to get something in return.

I have known some of these people for years, some not, some are in new situations. I am simply trying to spend time with people i have a history of enjoying time with. that is what i gain.

its not really different enviornments.

my main friend and I tend to collaborate on projects. he has been there for me in ways many other friends have not and our bond is often deepened by philosophical discussion revolving media, and therapeutic dinner discussions about the ups and downs of life. it becomes frustrating when he doesnt commit to a day because it leaves me wondering just how important i truly am to him.

in other cases i dont seek business. a friend reached out to me to watch a movie this week and though i dont particularly enjoy his company i know he enjoys mine. i know he is bad at making decisions he'll say 'want to hang out' then make me decide literally everything to an awkward degree. i narrowed it down and was open and simply offered him to choose a night he wasnt busy.


I am very willing to let go of things that dont work, and have done so with several friends this year where i wasnt getting enjoyment or even worse, was getting negative emotions from hanging out with certain people.

but i dont think my 'GIRR WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SCHEDULE PEOPLE' really means i should just ditch everyone.

>>17334902
i see those people more as traveler friends. we all have our journey.
it's just that flaking becomes a big problem.
and it's extremely common with people.

some people take flaking as a huge character flaw and disrespectful.
i say ditch the fuckers.

>>17335003

flaking and not choosing a time to meet are two different things. times are generally chosen at some point. my friend is very head in the clouds and thats his main issue. when he saw that my schedule filled up while he was 'thinking about it' he understood (though annoyed) and scheduled me a specific day for the next week.

the only time he flaked was this fourth of july, thats the first in the two years ive known him. were having a talk with him about that cuz since getting a gf hes been a bit rude about scheduling things (like my fucking birthday for instance)

>>17335003
>>17335018

i do view flakes as not worth my time and tend to ditch those but wouldnt say my friends have reached that. they are just annoyingly last minute and im super schedule oriented.