So my gf has a son from an earlier relationship.
>please stay on the following issue, don't want to discuss "dating single moms".
The issue: the father of this child has recently passed away (he had some sort of heart condition since birth..not fully informed)
Anyways, he's been nothing but a huge pain in my ass for the, give or take, 1.5 years me and my gf been together.
>Not taking care of his fatherly duties. "Only cares when it fits him"
>Comes around our place and bangs the door,screaming and yelling.
>He has threatened my life on numerous occasions.
>Even cracked me in the face once.
The list can be made long.
So a few weeks ago he passed away, hate to say it, but it's a huge relief for me to feel like I never have to deal with that guy anymore!
Well, my gf feels otherwise even though she often got targeted by this guys assholery.
She's really down and depressed about his passing, I guess it's human nature but it annoys me that all of a sudden "He was a good guy deep down"
It's been a tough few weeks on our relationship, I don't know what to say or do really so I just shut up about it... But doing nothing never fixed anything ever and I can't have this kind of relationship where we beat around talking about it when I can see that it's bothering her.
What do guys and girls?
>>17333850
Are you taking care of the kid and shit?
>>17333853
I pitch in
>>17333857
Depending on how serious it's getting try to take a more involved approach as she's realising that the kid won't have a father.
>>17333850
>But doing nothing never fixed anything
Except for mourning for deceased people. Really just sit it out, maybe try to be comforting and understanding and don't talk bad about deceased people. Tell her if she wants to talk about it you're there but just listen without saying much.
The way I see it she is grieving. It is still the loss of the father of her child. When people grieve they say a lot of weird shit that they don't really mean. So I think giving her room to talk about it but space to grieve is perfectly healthy. Just know that she is having a lot of weird conflicting emotions and she is not at a place in her life right now where she is going to be logical or considerate of other people's feelings. But once all of this blows over things will start going back to normal.
Tell her that you're there for her, but that talking about her ex is uncomfortable for you, and it would be better if she talked to other people who were close to him.
That is, if it really does annoy you to the point where you're going to tell her she's grieving wrong and not allowed to feel that way. If you think you can just listen and be supportive, stick with that. You're not going to be able to logic her out of grieving by reminding her he was an asshole.
>>17333850
>she misses an abusive dead man whose son I provide for
I've never seen a guy getting cucked by a corpse before.
>>17333907
If troll trying to provoke, good job, I'm provoked.
If serious:
Aschberger syndrome
>>17333850
weird and sick as it is the relationship she continued with the ex was still a relationship with her ex and now that is over for good and she is going through the normal grieving process of losing someone she was very close. If you plan to stay with her don't press your point ever. You put up with him (ate his shit and she helped feed it to you) in your life for 1.5 years so you can do it for another year. The bright side is he is fucking gone and each day that goes by it gets a little better. Watch out however for a change in her towards you and creating drama because it is missing now.
>>17333850
>don't want to discuss "dating single moms"
well your problem wasn't about dating a single mom but one that allowed her ex to terrorize both of you and blamed it on having a child with him.
