Hi, I'm 47 years old and I'm a virgin. Throughout my adulthood I have been depressed about being a virgin. But that's coming to an end! I've been just getting into PUA and I can't believe how stupid I was for thinking that just because I was ugly and short or old meant that I can't have sex with beautiful girls. I have a degree already, but starting in Spring I am re-enrolling in college. I'm going to shave my head and wear sunglasses and sit in the back of the class. I'm no longer a nerd like I was in my 20s. I'm going to be one of the cool kids. I have even chosen a new name I am going to start calling myself: Cool Smoke. It makes me seem mysterious and keeps girls interested. My plan is to party and make some male friends who are 18-19. These guys are going to be my "bros... Having friends in the 18-19 range makes girls less likely to turn me down for being old because they will view me as hip for having young friends. Once I am in their social circle and really good friends with them, I will start going clubbing and to parties with them, and I will meet girls this way.
any advice?
>>17331745
If you do this try not to be 47.
>>17331745
>pic related
>>17331745
0/10
Don't do it. Just get a woman through match. That idea will get you the shit beaten out of you.
>>17331745
Today I finally approached a girl for the first time in my 47 years.
As you may know if you read my other thread, I start going back to college this Spring. But I was so excited about picking up hot babes I couldn't wait that long. I decided to start today.
Today marked the day of my transformation. I am no longer my former self. I am Cool Smoke now. When I got up this morning, I didn't dress like a slob as I usually would do. I dressed with style. Today I wore a black trench coat and dark mysterious sunglasses. I also shaved my head for the first time. I'm no longer balding, I am sly bald now. I looked in the mirror and for the first time I saw someone who looked like he meant something staring back.
But there was still something missing. It wasn't my looks because I looked really good. It was my voice. I have a high pitched voice and I grew up in a middle American town so I speak with a really boring, generic American accent. Not a good combination. I didn't want the girls to think I am just some boring suburban guy. I needed to sound like I am someone exiting.
This is why I decided to change my accent. I decided to go with a New York accent because New York is so exciting and the accent I think complements my high pitched voice. When I talk with my New York accent I try to sound like Rattrap from Beast Wars (Beast Wars is one of my favorite shows of all time).
I wish you the best my friend
I mean, I wish you the best Cool Smoke! Go fuck bitches!
>>17331765
So for my first cold approach, I decided to go to the library of the university I will be attending. I saw this girl sitting down, working on the computer. She was really cute, at least an 8, and she looked like she was around 18 years old. I decided to sit next to her. I was nervous about talking to her, but eventually I got the courage. I said to her in my New York accent:
Cool Smoke: Hey, whatcha workin' on?
Girl: It's something for class.
Cool Smoke: Heh, professors always making their students do work. I think if the professor wants the work to be done, he should do it himself. Thinks are different where I'm from.
Girl: Ok
Cool Smoke: Yeh, I'm from New Yohk. If my professor tried to pull that shit on me, me and my crew would have beat his ass.
Cool Smoke: All this talking and I haven't even introduced myself. The name's Cool Smoke. You can call me Smoke for short.
She nodded, then a few minutes later she left the library.
This was a real eye-opening conversation for me. The whole time I spoke with her, she gave one word answers and avoided eye contact with me. This is EXACTLY how I used to act when I was in the presence of hot girls. Holy shit, this girl is nervous around me. Only a few hours into day game and I already got an IOI. Poor girl, she's probably so pretty that guys are too nervous to approach her, and as a result she must be incel, maybe she's even a virgin.
Tomorrow I will go back to the same spot at the same time in the library and approach the girl again. Hopefully she will be there again. I pray that we will end up losing our virginities together. Wish me luck!
You autistic liar.
>>17331768
Fuck you this is hard for me
>>17331766
Thanks man. I just need to work on my confidence and then I can be out there talking to girls with no problem
>>17331804
Maybe you shouldn't act like a fucking retard to girls who clearly aren't interested in you, if this autistic story is slightly true.
>>17331765
Why have you not given us an example of this, Cool Smoke?
Go to Vocaroo and use some of your pick-up lines, so we can help you fine tune the accent, and your game.
Seriously I doubt thay girl had any slight interest, if anything, she wants to avoid you.
There can be only one.
I was born to be King, a Prince of the Universe...
I have some advice.
Don't be cool smoke, the name sounds retarded.
Don't try to pick up chicks in college.
Get a life.
Become social with people your age.
Get a girlfriend who might actually be interested in you .
Stop acting like an autist.
Get real friends.
Profit.
>>17331848
>>17331848
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0jgRpjy2gms
24 year old virgin and this is my nightmare.
>>17331892
It's not bad man. It's lonely a lot of the time but it's nice to have time for yourself
>>17331899
We are trying to save you. Just stop while you can. Stop being "cool smoke"
>>17331908
I'm leaving that lonely person behind cool smoke is the new fresh me
>>17331908
Seriously this. Go with Cool "J" Smoke. Give yourself an ambiguous middle initial, ambiguity is cool.
>>17331888
Your voice is Angelic...
Women must get tiny, little, clit boners when you speak.
Can we get a picture of you in one of your pussy-slaying outfits? We understand if you want to censor your face.
Ok "cool smoke"
First off, that name is stupid.
Second, there is no "new you" you can't change in a day you dumbass.
Third, it is clear you have no social skills whatsoever .
When she was talking very little and not looking at you, that means she thinks you're a retard. It seems like you have very little social skills, and tron to drastically change that in a day is going to make you ten times cringier than what you already are.
Get your shit together, stop being a faggot, I'm trying to help you.
They will laugh at your stupid midlife crisis and your old gross self. Quit the pua bs and find someone your own age.
>>17331982
I don't understand why idiots like you think that there are people that can't pick up girls. Almost every PUA site asserts that as long as you don't have a severe mental or physical disability, then you can get girls.
>>17331768
Hahahahhahaha
If that's true, poor girl. But at least she's got a funny story.
You crack me up Cool Smokes. I hope you post more
>>17331991
Yeah, but no girl wants somebody acting like a dumbass who has no social skills. They will just laugh or avoid you. Seriously, the best idea is to just drop "cool smoke" entirely before "cool smoke" ends up killing himself when he realizes no girl wants that.
>>17331991
But why do you need someone almost 30 years younger? Try to aim for women in their 40s or at least 30s. Not little girls.
>>17331991
Pua doesn't work dude. It's a scam. The "be yourself" cliché is true, but work on yourself and your confidence. Stop viewing women as objects. Socialize. And you will find someone.
Why do some of you think this is real? You guys are honestly autistic.
>>17332028
Hey man, sometimes this cringy shit isnt fake
>>17332028
This.
To be fair, there is a lot of samefags; Replies: 32 Posters: 15.
The Cool Smoke gimmick could be mildly entertaining, though, if done the proper way.
Also, PUA is fucking retarded, and the type of last resort that should convince one to indulge in escorts.
>>17332028
>not believing in Cool Smoke
dude come on
be supportive of the man he just wants to be hip
>>17332039
except his vocaroo >>17331888 proves he isnt 47 and probably is underage b&
had he been a highly autistic incel, and 27...
I think we should end this faggotry.
>>17332066
I second this.
>>17332066
So you plan on earning your Golden iPod, Mitch?
>>17332093
Back to >>>/encyclopediadramatica/
>>17331745
>>17331765
>>17331768
>>17331883
Is this /b/?? I feel like this thread has to be a joke.......
If not, kill yourself lame smoke. You are 47, act like a gentleman, not some frat bro.
Sorry was gone for a while with my folks. Just showed them my shaved head I think they liked south dinner went by quickly and queitly
>>17331991
I can't give up hope I've got ok money chicks like money they'll have to owe me eventually
>>17332238
Here you go. Not very recent
So ok cool smoke thing isn't working. But my plan is pretty good already paid for two semesters up front. So I'm going to school no matter what
>>17331745
Cool Smoke.
Thanks for the laughs, needed that boost.
>>17331745
You should be "Smokey Cool"
>>17331745
Thanks anon, I had a hearty laugh.
