Anyone else wonder why sex Ed is taught in school but standard opposite sex dating abd socialization isn't?
I learn through studying and books and examples. I don't learn by doing. As a result I am socially crippled. I can't have a girlfriend because I have no idea how to meet or approach women and my hobbies are make dominated.
I just wish someone would have taught me this shit earlier. We teach all these borderline useless shit line calculus but no one teaches you how to interact with women properly in such a way that you can MAYBE have a relationship?
What did I miss? Why does interacting with women feel like a fucking suicide mission?
>>17331047
men have been wondering this for hundreds of years
you'll learn the same way they did
the hard way
by fucking up a hundred times until you find a girl who likes you so much she doesn't care how shit you are at talking to girls
>>17331047
> Why is opposite sex socialization not taught in schools?
That's what YouTube is for.
Seriously, this is not hard stuff. You get a million in the bank, you get a Lexus, you get laid. What's the problem?
>>17331047
Because school system is rigid and adapts slowly to such social issues while the problem in this scale is recent and largely unstudied one.
Even as little as 10 years ago socializing was a thing that just happens. Everyone competent enough to put food to his table would be socializing a lot naturally. Be it in school, during hobbies or general life. But all that has changed really quickly over the past couple of years here.
When I was in middle school we did everything in class, group works were common and attendance was mandatory. When I wanted to talk to my friends I would ride a bike to their place, if I wanted entertainment I would ask my friends to come to movie with me or maybe go to their place to play some games. Even video games were played either in hotseat or with several controllers.
If I want to talk to my friends today I will use a phone, you can do most of your school work in the computer from your home and video games are played over the internet with faceless people.
When my parents were working they would have to go to a work place to earn money, when they go to the store they would talk to people who were familiar in their village.
I work from my home in the internet, I live in a faceless city with faceless people too where interaction is discouraged as any time invested is lost in the sea of people you might never meet again.
Women and men had less options because the amount of people they could realistically know and compare the opposite sex to was very low.
Today you can instantly compare other people to literally millions trough dating apps, mass media or social networks.
Simply put the availability of choice on men for women is turning society back towards 1 man for 5 woman standard found in many animals. For men technology allows you to get trough life without meeting a lot of women (or people in general) resulting in lower social skills across the board which again dissuades women from picking outside of the top 20%
>>17331059
Fuck!! I hate playing numbers game. It makes it feel like I have no standards?
>>17331047
>I LEARN BY READING NOT BY DOING
this is purely a preference and nothing more. you learn by doing more than anything. reading guides might help, but the reason there arent any is that human interaction is super fucking random. e ven when broken down to its basic components it can go anywher.e
>be me
>Walk up to girl sitting alone at the bar
>Shes on her phone
>whats a pretty girl like you doing here on her own?
>'i just got off work... have you heard this thing about mayans riding dinosaurs?'
>preceedes to spend the next half hour showing my pictures of meso american carvings depicting triceratops and stegasaures, sometimes with humans riding them
no book prepares you for that. no interaction guideline tells you how to react.
what do you do when you go up to a chick and she starts ranting about how the government wants all americans to be fat and tahts why her nutritionist business is outlawed but if she becomes a chiropracter she can still practice nutrition under that label as well.
humans are random. girls are human. therefore girls are random.
you would learn by doing if you got off your ass and did it.
also, teachers cant teach us because nothing they teach us will help. the rules of dating change every five minutes and from culture to culture and place to place and age group. dating in highschool is WAY different than dating is now.
and we ignore what teachers say anyways. what are they supposed to do, study girls specifically (Cuz its not like theyd follow some fucking rules) and then teach men how to play the women?
what madness are you talking about?
>>17331132
consider the following: you can have standards.
just because you are approaching these women doesn't mean you are comitting to each one you speak to. when you approach a girl its to see if YOU like her. not to see if she likes you. IF you decide you like her, go from there.
but its not approaching women that makes you not have standards. its the fact taht you know you would settle for the first one to show interest.
if you want standards, have standards.
>>17331047
>Anyone else wonder why sex Ed is taught in school but standard opposite sex dating abd socialization isn't?
Because that is a waste of resources. People having trouble forming relationships isn't a societal issue where we need to collectively take steps to fix it: you are in a minority. And catering to your personal social upbringing was not the school's responsibility. You can just enroll in a private etiquette course.
This is something that should be taught by your parents (like many many things they have the state/schools teach instead).
That's why people who come from parents in a happy marriage are more likely to have one themselves.
Why is sex Ed the schools problem then? We need to be taught how to fuck but can't be taught how to interact with someone of the opposite sex in a healthy way?
>>17331047
>standard opposite sex dating and socialization
Because soccer moms would lose their shit.
>>17331230
Extra welfare babies and aids victims with bad insurance literally costs the government money, and the schools are government funded. You being lonely costs them nothing.
>>17331244
You're right. How would you even try to standardize that in a way that would satisfy parents anyway?
Come to think, didn't home ec classes (before home economics were kinda abandoned and cut for funding in many schools) used to have that classic project where they would team up kids in partnerships and they'd take care of a "baby" represented by a doll or an egg together to simulate parenting and relationships? Don't schools not do that as much anymore because it is a retarded waste of school time?
>>17331047
It's cause it doesn't happen to enough people yet. The people who are socially inept are "collateral damage." I'm one of these. When the problem becomes big rough, then they will address it. Until then…we are expendable.
>>17331286
>You being lonely costs them nothing.
It does cost, but it's not as apparent at first. Families spend more money than single people. Kids are expensive.
>>17331305
>Come to think, didn't home ec classes (before home economics were kinda abandoned and cut for funding in many schools) used to have that classic project where they would team up kids in partnerships and they'd take care of a "baby" represented by a doll or an egg together to simulate parenting and relationships? Don't schools not do that as much anymore because it is a retarded waste of school time?
Parenting was an elective at my high school, but we did have cooking in middle school.
Chris-chan, is that you? Date Ed is still a retarded idea
You losers never fail to surprise me. I can't decide what's a more retarded idea: 'Date Education' or state-issued girlfriends.
Also sex ed has value in that it helps prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of venereal diseases. Your idea has next to no value to society compared to sex ed. If you can't manage to navigate social situations, it's not the responsibility of anyone else to fix it.
>>17331747
>sex ed has value in that it helps prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of venereal diseases
This. That's why they make it a part of "health" class, where you also learn about nutrition, recreational drugs, and hygiene. It's really not comparable to the idea of a class where you specifically just learn to make friends/form romantic relationships.
>>17331047
>I learn through studying and books and examples.
Then, have you tried picking up a dating self help book? There are a million of them.
>>17331137
different person here
why do they not have us learn by doing? at the very least, why not have the kids who are at risk of this kind of thing set up to learn by doing? not even dating, just social stuff
there's all this time allocated in the first few years of school for play and socializing, then they get rid of it, and at no point do they try to *help* you socialize unless you break the rules
>>17331844
Also different person than the one you're replying to: I think I recall my time in highschool giving me plenty of opportunities to encourage socializing: we were forced to work in teams or pairs in all kinds of projects and activities, we were given a lunch break that fostered a social environment, we had after school clubs, we had school dances and shit where the entire event revolved around dating, and we always had access to a school counselor and school psychologist that could have answered if inquired "how into friendship/dates?"
Sure, none of those things ever graded you or gave you a how to date quiz or a textbook like a typical class, and most were purely voluntary, but the resources were there and a lot of people who complain they left highschool with no social skills probably didn't take advantage of many of them.
opposite sex socialization is an excellent way to weed idiots out of the gene pool; it doesn't involve killing or destruction, is socially profitable, and requires a melange of intelligence, athleticism, charm and self-introspection
>>17331047
>What did I miss? Why does interacting with women feel like a fucking suicide mission?
Single mother household i'm guessing? Fathers are supposed to teach this shit, but no one can hold a fucking marriage together anymore, so we just have to live with being betas.
>>17331047
You see OP what you're not understanding is that this is very much intentional. Women don't need to learn how to socialize because they don't have to do anything, and society doesn't care about it's "beta" males. In fact it wants you to be alone and suffer, so the alpha male Chads can have multiple women to themselves. It was never made to be fair and you lost the instant you were born a male with your type of personality.
>>17331047
Why aren't guns taught at schools because you all are retards.
>>17331047
>useless
>calculus
BOI IF YOU DON'T
why dont they have class where learn to put penne in vay.
because you don't need a class to learn how to talk to the opposite sex. I had plenty of female friends. just be a normal human bean
>>17331059
>by fucking up a hundred times until you find a girl who likes you so much she doesn't care how shit you are at talking to girls
I was starting to think this may be the case. Thanks for confirming it for me anon~
Cause the teachers don't really know how to, either.
They suck at teaching their normal course material as is.
Also, because people tie the ability to socialise with the opposite sex to the idea of being "cool".
It's "cool" to project effortless competence, not so much to deliberately work at it.
>>17331047
Because it's heteronormative you cis scum
Also, if they did teach it, not many people would want to learn. You'd be surprised.
"PUAs" get a bad enough rep as is. Even though if you met one personally, they're just ordinary people.
>>17331047
Good question.
But let's look at our education system as a whole. It's all fucked.
Btw I'm from the Bible belt. We weren't taught sex ed
>>17331047
School IS socialization education. You learn by doing, like it or not. You're basically saying you want to learn to play tennis but you don't actually want to pick up a racquet and play it, you just want to read a book about it and get good.
Its not the public education system's job to teach you redpill, hold your hand and empty the spaghetti out of your pockets.
Socialization is not a skill thats learned through books, it never has been. Stop blaming your social awkwardness on the fact that there isn't a fucking pamphlet about it.
Interacting with women feels like a suicide mission because you're an internet fuckboy who refuses to log off the goddamn computer box, take responsibility for your own shortcomings and stop looking for easy solutions to problems that don't have any.
>>17331047
Upper classes have etiquette classes.
>>17333528
this ...
>goddamn computer box
kek iheartu
I went to an all males school and it was my understanding that the best way to learn how to talk to chicks was to go to a coed school. I didn't get laid till I was 24 and I'm 25 now.
>>17333462
no one is saying calculus is useless, but 99% of the population will not need calculus in their daily life after highschool/ college
everyone one needs to learn basic skills like managing money and meeting women and high school fails to teach these skills in a meaningful way
>>17333554
>I went to an all males school
Me too. That was a total fuck up by my parents. I literally had zero social skills with girls and boy did I miss all the potential socialization I should've had in HS.
I was practically an autist in college and even if your social skills caught up by then, it is just a different environment than HS. Watching all the teen soaps really makes me realize I missed a huge chunk of my life.
>>17333531
Sorry, I'm unfamiliar with that term. Maybe I'm from a different country or region. What are "upper classes"?
>>17333563
>Watching all the teen soaps really makes me realize I missed a huge chunk of my life.
I went to public and still missed out on most of that. There are no guarantees. You could've met the same fate, regardless.
Because, OP, not everyone is a socially inept school shooter in the making.
I didn't learn how to pull until I was 23. And I used to ask myself the same question. Right down to the "they teach you how to use the condom, but they don't teach you how to get into the situation where you get to use the condom."
Well sex shouldn't be this big complicated thing. But for people like us we build up this idea of ourselves and over think it.
It should be you talk to someone, click, date, have sex, see where it goes. But for us we over think, are we acting the right way? doing the right thing?
I read all that PUA shit. It ruined my brain and actually caused me to not have sex from age 17 to 21. I had sex at 17 because I was myself, talked to girls and just saw what happened. PUA made me think girls like assholes, etc.
Want the secret? Take care of yourself, be confident, talk to a lot of girls, make it seem like you don't talk to a lot of girls, and most importantly, BE NICE TO THEM. I'm not talking about nice guy nice, tell them they're pretty, tell them you like them. don't get scared of rejection. AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANT: BE PERSISTENT. don't sperg out and yell at a girl for not reciprocating feelings. suck it up. Keep talking to her. Keep trying.
Now what really makes me mad is how come some guys learn it young, like 13, 14, but guys like me don't learn it until 23? that is what makes me mad. If I could go back knowing what I know now I suppose...
>>17331047
>Anyone else wonder why sex Ed is taught in school but standard opposite sex dating abd socialization isn't?
Mostly because it's considered to be a natural extension of the interpersonal social interactions that "everyone" goes through during their childhood and school years. The theory goes that there is no need for additional classes when people are learning as they go. The flaw in this theory is the assumption that everyone goes through these interactions at this time in their lives. It does not account for people who do not participate: who the school's society has rejected, or who do not approach for fear of rejection, or are excluded because of some other factor. Exactly how to deal with these is still unclear.
More recently, another, more practical problem has arisen: cultural deadlock as concerns same-sex relationships. You're never going to get any curriculum approved that extends to these, but you're never going to get any curriculum approved that doesn't extend to them either.
>I don't learn by doing.
Yes, you do. Everyone does. And a good thing too, because these kinds of interpersonal dynamics are, well, too dynamic to be written down. Case studies cannot exist. This isn't math or science or even art. There is no other way than to do, and do, and do some more, until you eventually get it right.
