So I had a fwb I was seeing for a while who was in an open relationship; I'm gay he's bi. We agreed when his fiancee came back it'd end. I was in it for the sex, but he wanted to spend our time doing domestic things like doing laundry, grocery shopping, taking long walks, going out to restaurants. At one point he told me he loved me and I said it back. He pretty much ended up dating me which was not part of the open part of their relationship.
He said we could keep being friends even when she came back, but the first time we hung out alone he kissed me goodbye when i was leaving.
I moved in with him and his fiancee and we've been living together for a month. Their relationship is shit and everything I know about him tells me he won't break up with her.
I'm thinking about writing him a letter telling him I fell in love with him, and that his relationship with her is bad for him.
Should I do it? What should I say? How do I give it to him so no one else sees it?
I move out in a couple of days so if I need to I never have to see them again. I think he'd be happier with me but I also think he'd just be happier with not her.
>>17327214
woof i remember reading about this before i think a month ago or something but its certainly changed a bit since then.
dont bother with the letter.
just tell him. tell him you want him to leave with you and start a new adventure together. you want to be his and you want him to be yours.
thats all you can do. if he agrees, yay. if not, you start a new adventure and get him out of your life.
>>17327214
You saw their interactions when you where a third wheel. People act differently when they are alone as a couple.
>>17327214
You won't win with pussy, anon. Sounds like he used you for sex and a tampon for emotional needs without taking the thing seriously, and you stupidly let him. In my opinion writing a letter will only scare/disgust/burden him down. If you two were already kinda dating and he still got together with his girl, it means that he rejected you.
>>17327233
It might be a case where he used me and tried to throw me away, or it could be a case where he loved me but didn't want to risk a serious relationship for someone he wasn't sure wanted to commit to him. I think I might have rejected him by accident? I'm pretty sure he's rejected me now, but he's been isolating himself from all his friends and family since things started to go wrong with her. This letter is the only way to make him rethink how he's living, even if he's disgusted by me after. Or that's how I see it?
>>17327231
He used to vent to me about the relationship when we were a thing. He vented a little while i was living here too. I can hear their conversations from their room really easily, and from what i see and what her friends say about her the relationship won't last. He also wouldn't leave no matter how unhappy he was.
>>17327227
There's so much he's oblivious to, if I just came out and said that I don't think it would work at this point. It might have worked when he was still gooey over me and tense with her, but he got mad at me for wanting to talk(he panicked and thought i was in danger, i just wanted to tell him i was in love), and ever since he's been distancing himself from me and being an asshole because he sees me as a source of drama.
Basically, he doesn't want to deal with anyone or anything that will get in the way of his future. He's engaged to her so she's his number one priority, but the reason he's so focused is because it's not working and it takes everything he has to try and make it work.
If I tell him I love him without some kind of guarantee he wouldn't be wasting his time with me, he would just think it was a distraction.
Does anyone know how to convince someone their partner is bad for them? How do I get the letter to him without anyone else finding it?
