I know no one really knows my situation or will have the answer to all my problems, but just being able to voice them out and hearing what people have to say helps somewhat.
I had a situation last year where I was interested in a girl, and she was kinda interested in me, but ultimately ended with her saying she wasn't interested in a relationship for now.
Then I was out of town for a while. When I came back I couldn't talk to her. I thought she was avoiding me but if I'm honest I was probably doing more of the avoiding - I have a very shy and anxious personality.
It took me a while, but eventually organised to sit down and talk with her. We talked over what had happened and what was going on. She said she wasn't avoiding me or anything, but was just preoccupied. After that I thought everything was better now and we could at least continue being friends again. There was a few things I ran out of time to say, and she likes letters so I wrote her one to say them.
Now that was a bit more than a month ago. We've been around each other but not talked at all pretty much. And I just don't understand why. Indeed I'm incredibly frustrated with myself that I can't just go up to her and say "hi", she's acknowledged me but I don't know why she doesn't say anything to me either.
A few days ago I tried calling her to talk things over and express my own frustration. She didn't answer but later sent me a message saying she was busy. I messaged back saying why I called, and then nothing. Haven't heard from her and I don't know what to do.
She is a genuinely nice person, and don't imagine she would play with me or ignore me without good reason. I don't know if I should try call her again or send her another message or talk to one of her friends or what. I need to do something though, I know it's small in the grand scheme of things, but it is taking it's toll on me emotionally, and I am depressive
points to whoever actually reads this
I read it anon and you know what, I have the same problems, Im 21 and I am a kissless handheldless virgin, and I have been in situations where a girl may showed interest in me and I have been ignored by text and calls before for no good reason. I try and not let it get me down but sometimes the loneliness hits hard and realize how great it is to be single with no obligations. Other times I just feel so alone I think about suicide but there is so much more to life than sex or other people, this is YOUR journey and feeling down only makes it worse. Accept your situation an move on is the best I can tell you, I am tired sorry if this is written poorly but man, if you DECIDE to look at life in a different light then things will change, if you EXPLORE unexpected thing will HAPPEN. How old are you anon?
>>17325589
Same anon as before, let the message sit. Wait for her to get back to you, but if you around her sometime, JUST SAY HI. SMILE. If she isn't ready for anything, act as friends but male friends are overrated. Get with someone who LIKES being around you that will SAY HI TO YOU FIRST. Id love to have a nice cuddly happy bubbly gf too, but good things come to those who wait.
>>17325589
she's not interested OP and not interested in having you as an orbiting friend hoping one day she will change her mind.
>>17325589
I'm a bit older than you but i've been there. In my situation I lost. That's right. I didn't get the girl and wallowed in self-misery. Then enough time passed and i recovered. By enough time, I mean a lot of time.
That was years ago and you know what hindsight tells me (and also what coming out of my shell - an ongoing process let me add - tells me), it's that your girl is probably a great girl but she's young and doesn't want to be bogged down with that heavy stuff. I'm not sure if you see it that way but it is. All this talk and shit from you and how you awkwardly approach her afterwards, it's heavy stuff. You got to realise girls are like that cyndi lauper song - they just want to have fun.
She probably likes/liked you but she's also not spending half as much time thinking about you as you are thinking of her. She's certainly not thinking about you when she is having FUN. And girls have the most fun with other guys. I don't mean to go down the whole /R9K/ angle, but girls aren't the type to think of new (and creative) ways to have fun. So right now she's having fun with some other guys that are probably light on the sensitivity but heavy on having a good time.
You can try the same approach which is kind of turning her off, or you can put it behind you and have fun with her. Go for it.
My guess is that she really doesn't want to discuss those things with you and that she's avoiding having to have prolonged conversations with you so she doesn't have to discuss that shit.
Thanks for the input guys I appreciate it, it's helped me look at it from a new angle
>>17325653
We sound fairly similar. I'm 23 BUT I'm not handholdless :^). I don't care about sex; well I mean like anyone I do but I'm quite happy to wait. It's the loneliness that gets to me. And I find I have so little going for me in life at the moment.
>Get with someone who LIKES being around you that will SAY HI TO YOU FIRST
It was more or less like that before all this happened ;_;
>>17325666
I've thought of that Satan, but from the things she has said to me I feel like that's not the case and really I need to hear it from her.
>>17325672
I think you've hit the nail on the head for a number of points. She does make friends with guys more easily, and no doubt she's not thinking about this nearly as much as I am. The autismo hang around silently and be miserable afterwards strategy certainly doesn't do me favours.
>>17325702
That could be at least part of it. idk, last time she told me she was happy with our talk, but she is busy and tends to get stressed about things.
What I'm thinking- it might be better to leave things and let it play out, but my feeling is I need to man up a bit and try and take control of the situation. I think I best try contacting her again tomorrow.
