Tell us what's going on, anon.
Last thread: >>17315425
Started a new job today not exactly sure how I feel about how it went.
I guess by my standards it went alright, but for a normal person it probably should have gone a lot better.
The job is at a call centre, a junior role and I have no experience so they had me sit next to this cute girl and just listen in on her calls all day. It was awkward as fuck because I didn't want to distract her from working, and she could get a call at any time even if I did. So I just stayed silent, we spoke a few times, learned a little bit about her but not much. I didn't really speak to anyone much at all.
I don't know anybody there, and it was all so awkward which I expected, but it's just I'm working with literally all girls, which you wouldn't think is a bad thing, but I'm not that good with women, and I found out today my humour doesn't seem to be on the same wavelength as most of these girls. There were a few points that I was making this cute girl laugh but I just couldn't even force myself to laugh at some of the shitty jokes directed my way by the manager lady and she even commented on how I'd get used to her humour eventually. I don't think i will.
These girls are way out of my league anyway.
I feel like an outcast loser. I'm in a pretty bad place at the moment with my confidence and self worth. I've been thinking a lot more about killing myself lately, I know that's pathetic but I'm just putting that out there. Like it's just a normal thought now, I don't have to be crying bitch tears in an upset rage to think like that. I just get in my car light a cig, stare into space and just think about dying, different ways it would happen, what it would feel like to feel nothing etc.
Just want to get this shit off my chest.
I don't really get horny when I'm with my crush. I can't even fap to her. Nothing.
Not sure if I am lucky or cursed.
kinda makes you question how you really feel about them
I leave my home on Wednesday to do my 'This is it' adventure.
Throwing every penny I have at going somewhere, anywhere to die.
I'm sick, and sad, and lonely. I don't really want to die without having seen some cool shit. Maybe I can get laid on the way too.
The fuck was that dream?
>Be in School (Cross between my College, HS, and MS)
>Class is taught by my 5th grade teacher
>Be outside in middle of winter for class.
>Class involved learning how to clean a firearm
>I misplace my assigned firearm
>At end of that part, we go into a building for some odd critical thinking exercise
>It involved free food as payment (One guy received a Martini glass and plate of Olives)
>My right shoe begins coming apart.
>Somehow I pull the tounge out, and the shoe gets tighter
>So I take it off and ask a friend if I can find a new pair
>I have a major crush on that friend. We'll call her M
>M is unable to find a new pair, so we just go and sit down.
>We begin BS'ing about shit, and she asks what I thought about the Tattoo removal that she was undergoing
>We really begin hitting it off, I could feel something in the air
>She begins drawing on random papers and talking about shit
>Her friend, R, shows up, and asks to sign my cast (I was still wearing a heavy ass winter coat)
>I tell him I don't have a cast, and he leaves it.
>Does not talk to M or I for the duration of the dream
>Instead he begins talking to a girl from my HS, and starts hitting on her. (She is a cam whore now)
I am honestly curious as to what my parents will think if I get with that girl.
As far as my parents know, she is Half Polish, 1/8th Irish, misc White otherwise. While in reality, she is 25% Black. (Though visibly, she looks completely white)
My parents are Majorly racist, so they may not be too accepting. But really, why would I give a shit if my parents approve, as long as I love her for what she is
Confession time.
I like to seduce men, grind on them and whisper raunchy stuff in their ear and when they get a boner. I leave. I have no idea why I do this, but it turns me on and keeps me entertained. The reactions are hilarious.
I'm so god damn lonely.
I have nobody outside of my family.
I wish that I had someone I could spend time with.
>>17322975
You will.
Seriously, you will.
I was worried that there was something wrong because my feelings towards my crush were all emotional, not physical. I seriously just thought about her smile, her laugh, her hair and mannerisms. I'd have felt like shit if she let anybody else touch her but I didn't really want to sleep with her. That didn't even change the first couple times we kissed.
Then some switch flipped, I have no idea what, it was like my brain caught up to the fact that "dude, this is really happening" and suddenly every time she touched me it felt like getting zapped by a lightning bolt made of lava. But, like, in a really good way.
Really, don't worry, you'll come around.
>>17322999
I hope I get to that point with her. But, well, stuff happened when I ask her out, it kinda friendzoned. But I can see it changing possibly.
I always do really stupid and outright dangerous shit when drunk and I feel terrible then something happens that tops the last thing that happened
I swear to fuck I'm so done with alcohol I'm gonna try my balls off to have max two pints next time I go out, because I know I will go eventually.
This shit is always in waves, I start the week feeling like shit, Friday comes and I get really excited about going out, maybe this time I'll get laid etc, then I go out get smashed and lose focus even if I somehow charm a girl, go home at six am and fap then the process repeats
Fuck that I'm so done, if I didn't finish my degree this year I'd probably literally become an actual alcoholic not just hobby alcoholic because I would drink so fucking much while pracing exams
I quit snus somehow after one year of constant abuse so I think it's totally possible
So yeah good luck me if I fail I'll probably come back here and complain and whine like a lil bitch but thats just what I do
My neighbour just died in my arms.
Ha.
I have a crush on a coworker and he barely even notices me. He wouldn't be interested in me either way since I'm fat and somewhere between average and ugly for a woman. I'm losing weight but I'm terrified that I'll end up with lose skin at the end of it all. So, I'm doomed to be ugly and invisible for the rest of my life. Should I even bother trying to date next year once I've lost the weight? I'm trying to be positive but I've started planning my suicide for four years from now (I'll be 30 then).
>>17323065
If you're gonna off yourself you should probably do the things you're afraid of anyway like asking someone out
I mean what have you got to lose, you're gonna be dead anyway.
What's going on? Why are you in disguise? Each time it takes me by surprise, are you here to see me?
I hate you for what you did to him. You took his one safe place away from him and turned all of his friends against him. Everyone kisses up to you and thinks you're wonderful, perfect, but I know the truth about you. You're abusive, you're a manipulative, lying cunt. You've hurt the person I love and I've had to watch him suffer and cry. I hate that there's nothing I can do without the fallout coming back to him. It's not fair how you sink your claws into people. It's not fucking fair. Fuck you.
>>17323134
What was taken away from your friend?
>>17323141
This awful person in his friend group has been subtly manipulating all of his other friends to turn against him. He was abused badly by his parents and grew up without many friends, so this friend group was kind of his first support group. And now he doesn't feel safe or wanted around them any more. She singled him out because he didn't want to kiss up to her like everyone else did; pure high school bullshit, except they're all in their 20's. She treats him like utter shit and talks down to him like she's stupid, and he can't say anything because she's got everyone else that will rush to her defense. I would love to give her a piece of my fucking mind, but there's no way I could stand up for him without things getting bad for him. She's done this to someone else in the friend group before, gotten them ostracized and attacked. It's so so shitty.
>>17323157
Elaborate more on how she managed this.
>>17323157
Oh, I've been there before.
>Have best friend at school
>His house burned down a few years prior to these events
>Few other people sometimes made fun of this
>Said I didn't really know what he was experiencing, but if I could help in any way I would
>Not long after, have a big dispute with my parents, kicked out of my house for a few days
>Come back to school after a week or so
>He's decided he doesn't need me around anymore
>He had told the same thing to some other people, they started making more jokes
>Goes around telling people I was bullying him and made fun of his house burning down
He knew I had been on anti depressants and such too.
People called me a monster.
Honestly I hope his house burns down again.
>>17323157
How does she have this much influence over people? Is she a witch?
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I've had the desire to kill myself. I don't do it because that's been a coward. Also from time to time I feel this rage that builds up in side of me.
>>17323162
Gossiping about him, twisting the truth to people, stirring up drama and forcing people to pick sides against him, blaming him for things he didn't do, talking shit about him in private. Just basically slowly trying to make him appear as bad as possible. She's also one of those feminazis who comes at people hard all the time just for being male, makes him feel bad for something he can't help. She posts shit on social media that takes digs at him or characteristics that he has all the damn time. Then turns around and tries to act like the sweetest person ever who's never done anything wrong.
He tried to gently confront her about it recently, and she somehow twisted the whole thing into him "making her feel guilty" and made herself out to be the victim. She does that a lot. She also tries to minimize whatever problems he's going through at the time and redirect the attention to herself whenever people try to talk to him. Basically isolating him from support, slandering him, twisting his words, things like that. She's extremely manipulative, and good at it unfortunately.
Basically all he did was try to "take away" some of her attention (in her eyes) and refuse to worship her, and she couldn't handle that.
>>17323173
See a psychiatrist. You need medication.
>>17323172
I wish I fucking knew, man. She's really good at making herself look like the victim. People feel bad for her, and guilty for standing up to her. She pulls the "I'm a woman, so you have to listen to me or you're sexist" shit all the time. She's also very charismatic. Kind of the classic textbook narcissist
>>17323170
Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with people? I'm sorry you had to go through that, dude.
>>17323184
I got called into the office and forced to say "I'll stop doing it" too because he decided to report me for it.
The irony is, after we finished our year 11 in the UK I said I didn't want to be friends with him anymore because he was just a bad person to be around. He and a bunch of other people fucking begged me to be friends with him again, and I reluctantly accepted trying to be the bigger person.
And shit if you think that's bad:
>Just after shit with my parents kick off, I'm about to turn 18 at this point
>They've been talking with my grandmother about the whole situation
>The grandmother I ran away to for 4 months because of the abuse in my household
>She tells them I just need to be 'put back in my place'
>She starts telling my entire family I'm an 'angry little drug addict'
>(Hadn't touched a drug in my life at that point, to this day only smoked weed twice and that was since my 21st birthday)
>Call her out on it, tell her I'm not going to tolerate her lying to people about me
>She runs around telling people I've been sending her threatening texts saying I'm going to 'beat her up'
>Even stands outside my house with her husband screaming he's going to put me in hospital
People are bad mate.
>>17322985
Cuck, I hope Laquisha cucks you.
>>17323195
Liar, those kind of things don't happen in a proggresive country, much less between young adults.
>>17323226
Yeah yeah of course I'm a liar. That's what people always tell me.
>>17323226
Not him, but in the UK it's not that hard to imagine. We have these people, we call them chavs. That's basically chav behaviour, even in the elderly. All depends where you live in the UK
>>17323226
I disagree, anon. I've seen plenty of shitty parents and awful people in this country. I know you don't WANT to believe it, but there are people like that. See: parents who sue or call the cops on their children over stupid frivolous things and make their lives hell.
>>17323235
>>17323240
Well, I don't live on an estate or anything.
The friend that decided to fuck me over was a neckbeard.
My grandmother isn't really a chav, she's just a cunt. She's always been twisted from what I gather.
Little do my parents know I still haven't forgiven them for stepping back from all of this, they said they didn't want to get involved either way. It took them 6 months of her sending increasingly volatile threats etc. for them to realise she's a piece of shit. I remember saying to them, 'If this is really too difficult, just say and I'll go somewhere else'.
>>17323215
Was gonna entertain this post with a pic, but I won't
She looks like a typical Slav. Light skin, vibrant eyes
>>17323255
Then at least tell your parents so at least they can disown you if they want. If she at least part black because one of her grandmothers?
>>17323235
No, there are only bad people in conservative bigoted Christian communities. Well, all xtians are bigots. If you go to Sweden or Germany you will find out people respect each other and are 100% about love and empathy.
>>17323270
But we are talking about the UK. Do you not live in it to be able to judge the country you're claiming doesn't have this?
>>17323062
After my father died I visited him sometimes in his hospital in my dreams.
It's a weird feeling waking up knowing you just talked to someone dead.
>>17323270
Hah. God, I wish I could live in your world. America is fucking awful, and full of cruel and selfish people. I want to move to Sweden, there seems to be human decency over there.
>>17323104
this
>>17323065
keep it up, don't stop
>>17323280
Yeah, Sweden is okay. I would live in a Muslim community there over Christian areas in this shithole
>>17323275
>>17323280
I only talk about this stuff online. Honestly I've never gotten past it, it makes me feel so much rage and hatred.
I also recently found out I'm suffering from a small dash of organ failure, but I'm happy. The odds are sufficiently poor enough that I can justify disappearing off to another country, and if I die - so what? I don't have a life here anymore.
I don't know how it works elsewhere in the world. I hope it's not like this. Maybe I'll find some nice people when I disappear. It'd be nice to have some human contact with someone I'm not afraid of for once.
>>17323263
Grandfather.
Also Red hair usually is not found in blacks... next to no features are visible
>>17323276
So she is the daughter of Tyrone jr. If Tyrone was AA she is probably less than 25% negro but still an honorary negro.
My bf dumped me. No idea what to do now. No job or money. But horny as fuck. I need a man... well parts of a man. What is going on. When I was with bf it wasnt so bad. Once I got dumped... helloo.. my hormones are crazy. Daily life of 23 year old. Fk me...
I wish she'd let go of her pride and let things return to what they were before.
>>17323298
Honestly I don't give a fuck what people think. As long as I like her, that's all that matters.
I fell for her thinking she was 100% Irish, and when I saw that her Grandfather on her mothers side was Black, did that change anything? Not at all.
I go through my boyfriends internet history and he knows this. Like he's seen me go through his phone and stuff often and is always completely okay with it.
While he was at work I went to my routinely check of his history and I was so saddened by what I found.
I found first, a forum he used to visit, being visited again.
And then an old email to a girl he used to be in love with. Saying how he would love her forever no matter what.
It meant he went to the forum where he met her, then missed her, and went back and read those emails.
I know that I'm pretty obsessive but I always thought he liked that about me.
I always thought that he liked me.
But what if he's found out that he just doesn't love me.
I haven't talked to him about it of course. I'm just kind of feeling terrible about it.
>>17323345
Wow you're pretty shit. Maybe this old love isn't a possessive bitch.
>>17323348
Yea, she wanted nothing to do with him.
My girlfriend's mother has moved from just "having cancer" to "actively dying of cancer". It's pancreatic, so there was never much hope, but it's getting down to the wire. It's fucking horrible. She moved into hospice the other day, her liver is giving out and she can't do treatment anymore. She posts pics with my girlfriend sometimes, and you can tell. She's kind of jaundiced, she looks at least 5 years older than when she was diagnosed around a year and a half ago, hair's totally gone, the goddamn works. I lost my maternal grandmother to cancer earlier this year. It was really tough on my mom, and that was after seeing her mother live a full 80-something years. I'm worried about my girlfriend. My mother, a full-grown woman and one of the strongest people I know, was a goddamn mess when her mother was dying.
My girlfriend is 19, her mother is squarely in what should be the middle of her life. It's a much more sudden loss that she's going to have at least some 40 years longer to deal with. She's a tough girl, and I'm going to do all I can to be a rock for her when the other shoe drops. I'm worried about her, though. I love her, she's such a sweet girl and her family is incredible. They don't fucking deserve this, man.
>>17323345
I can't understand people who are okay with SOs going through their shit. My GF and I totally trust eachother and neither one of us would even think about pulling that shit. Anyways, talk to him about it if you want but I wouldn't bother. You're being possessive and neurotic, frankly.
We all like to reminisce from time to time. Just because you find new love doesn't erase the feelings you had for anyone else. He was just feeling nostalgic and wanted to look back on a simpler, younger time. I still read the final letter my dead best friend/first love wrote to me from time to time. That doesn't mean I still hold a candle for her, it just means I haven't forgotten what I felt for her and I want to honor those feelings and her memory.
>the way I did my resume, I accidentally made it look like it took me 5 years to graduate high school, even though I did it normally
Then again, if I'm making mistakes like that, it might as well be the case.
I make a concerted effort to keep my diet and fitness reasonable, meanwhile she shows absolutely no interest in making herself more attractive even though I'm constantly having to reassure that she's not less attractive than the 20-year-old sluts running around everywhere.
I'm having to majorly grow up to ignore the fact you were probably running around with older guys while you were still hot and young, so maybe you could follow suit and take time out of your 25-hour work week to get on the fucking elliptical, goofy bitch.
>>17323408
that's a curb your enthusiasm situation if i've ever heard one, anon. if it helps i'm imagining you acing an interview then being rejected for a job based on being a super-senior while this plays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1o3koTLWM
>>17323428
I'm not that old. Exactly the right age and stage of my life to be tearing pussy to shreds left and right if I could only lose my soul.
>>17323431
figured you were pretty young, but Curb is appropriate for life's little "fuck you" moments no matter your age
>>17323436
lol, ok I see it now. Thanks, that does help.
>>17323436
oh wait i just realized i didn't clarify "super senior", it's just what a 5th year senior is called in my area. that or "taking a victory lap"
>29
>Spend youth as hermit, early 20s were me learning the social ropes late
>Nothing with girls works despite not being a virgin
>Getting pussy isn't that difficult, but I want a relationship and all I keep getting is sparks dying or excuses
>Spend last year talking with girl every day for a year online, she's from england, we're extremely close, all but together in name only
>Take up sewing plush toys so I can make her a Totoro from scratch
>Go up to England end of January this year, present her Totoro and ask her out
>She hides behind it while telling me it's not a good idea because the magic's gone face to face
>Fly back home shattered, try Tinder
>4 months of bullshit dating that never went anywhere, 1 girl who spent 3 dates trying to change me before giving me excuses, 1 good lay from a tourist and now... her
>22 year old, body tight as all fuck, gorgeous eyes, laugh, great sense of humour, easy to get along with, instant click
>She's the first girl who takes my hand and squeezes it tight like I'm going to disappear at any moment, she kisses me, we stop walking to embrace, look into each other's eyes and cradle each others' head to kiss
>It's bliss
>In just a week and a half, we've grown a bit close and I'm starting to think I've finally found it and we fucked on Wednesday at her place
>Suddenly she acts weird online, barely replies with effort
>Met yesterday, she seems strange despite still kissing me and is clearly anxious
>Leaves me a message, we need to talk about something missing between us
>Meet today
>She lost the spark as well
Omitted lots of detail but lemme tell you, this girl is genuine. She cried when she told me and when she said she wanted it to work because I'm the best guy she ever dated. After all these years I thought I finally found a girl whom fits those criteria and treat me like I matter, who made me feel like I wasn't a useless, unwanted piece of shit all my life.
And now she's gone too. I can't give up, but when does it stop?
>>17323422
ask her to go to the gym with you?
are you even fit? if you're some skinnyfat DYEL that signed up for the gym a few months ago then you'd have difficulty convincing her of anything.
being a good looking woman in your teens and early 20s boils down to you having an average face and not being fat. if you're currently dating a used up slut that's letting herself go then you've got fun times ahead. are you the nice guy with a decent job?
>>17323444
I used a strength training program to double my PRs while losing 50 lbs, and I've kept that weight off for almost 4 years now. I do HIIT and olympic lifts to maintain, and I regularly go for ~10 mile long runs.
> are you the nice guy with a decent job?
Why yes, Satan, that is it exactly.
>>17323442
>all that sappy bullshit AND fucking
>in the first week and a half
There you go. It was both of your faults, you just rushed into something too fast to actually forge a real connection. It happens, and it sucks. All I can tell you is to keep going. You're not useless or unwanted, all you have to do is believe it. It sounds like new-age bullshit but it works. Be so confident in yourself, even if it's fake, that you convince yourself you don't need anyone. Not in a closed-off, strong silent type way, but in a self-assured "i'm getting where i'm going with or without anyone" way. Women will come to you, or maybe not. Either way it won't matter, you need to find what you're looking for from a relationship in yourself. That's the only way to stop the pain.
And next time you find someone special (which you will), take it slow. Even if she wants to fuck and do all that couple shit right away, take it slow. Be friends first, that's how the best relationships start.
Best of luck, man. You don't need a relationship to complete yourself.
>>17323422
Sounds like you and her don't value the same things, and you should really have a discussion about that.
>>17323469
Yeah, I suspected it might've been something like that. I don't know for sure if it's what that was but either way it's too late now.
I appreciate your words, it's just difficult making sense of them and finding a way. I have a lot of things going my way but I'm specifically looking for a girl, because I want to share what I have. I get the same shit eventually from every girl, I'm 30 in 3 months and my god have I tried. Eventually the only thing that makes sense for all this failure is that I'M the problem. I can't seem to shake that off.
I stopped playing vidya, cold turkey.
Crazy how my life is empty in fact.
I'm 27, and feel like my life is wasted. It' silly to think this, but I can't find the strength to do something else. I have an idea of what I want to do, but I just feel weak, old, and worthless.
Sometimes I get the feel I should just end it, but my familly wouldn't understand, couldn't understand, it's not their fault if their son is an idiot.
I want to work out, to play guitar, to play keyboard, to take singing lessons, improve my drawing, start writting, go skydiving, do my bike licence...
But I just can't. I feel like my youth has been wasted in the most stupid way, and it's to late to even try.
I just wish I could find a lust for life.
I have to go to fireworks with my family tonight and I hate it. I feel like utter shit and I hate leaving the house but it's the only thing we do all year.
>>17323489
walk/drive/bike/bus yourself to the gym and sign up. research a good program and lift.
you feel like learning guitar? you have the fucking internet at the disposal. you can literally learn to do anything via the internet.
stop being such a fucking cuck.
>>17323485
you've got a good 9-10 years on me so not all of this is probably gonna apply, my bad!
>Eventually the only thing that makes sense for all this failure is that I'M the problem.
I hate to say it, but maybe you're right? Not being a dick, but legitimately if there are specific things you've got reason to believe are leading the "spark" to go out, it might be worth going down that road. Even if it's not the reason, self-improvement is never a bad thing. Don't get down on yourself about it though! There being areas you can improve =/= you having some sort of serious problem.
Have you tried more "conventional" online dating? There's usually a more diverse userbase in terms of age and what people are looking for, Tinder is overwhelmingly for getting some quick strange and/or dick. You might have more luck looking for a woman closer to your age, late 20s/early 30s. Compared to people in their early 20s, they'd on average be looking for more serious/stable conditions.
>>17323489
Just do it. Life is gonna keep happening whether or not you've got a lust for it. a lust for life is created and earned, nobody is born with it. you might have untreated depression/anxiety you were self-medicating for with video games, maybe get that checked?
>>17323489
27 is nothing. 27 is still enough time to take everything you're doing, trash it, and almost completely start over.
You sound depressed. One thing that helped me get out of similar rut was to take thing things I wanted to do and commit myself to doing them on a predetermined schedule. Give yourself permission to be a little half-assed every once in a while as long as you're sticking to the schedule.
YMMV. It also helps me to keep in mind that, on some level, I enjoyed all of that sitting on my ass time and it was my choice to do it.
27 is still plenty of time to do anything you want though. Trust me. Many people would kill to be 27 again.
>>17323520
I have considered it but I have no what it could be. Trust me, I act younger for my age. I am painfully self-aware, I've changed next to everything about myself across these past few years and I'm a lot more successful with women that I ever was. Looks, style, charm, humour, approach and all that. Like I said I'm no casanova but It's not THAT difficult to get laid. But I don't know what it is. Maybe what I am now gets boring real fast? Only thing that comes to mind.
As for Tinder, it's really just a social app. My work doesn't allow me to meet many single girls at all and most women I find are there to see whatever happens. I made a really good friend (female as well) off it I still talk to and in fact she helped up my mood this evening. My age group just tends to bore me, always superfocused on building a family and settling down. Now I'm not some manchild, but I got my own goals. Plus this girl, despite her age, was incredibly mature.
>Said that "I used to be a dramaqueen when I was 17, until I realized it's the difference between a girl and a woman"
>Refused to talk about this shit over facebook, insisted we meet and whatever choices we made, we do them together
Alongside other things, these just showed me a personality I still haven't found even in females ten year older than her. How could I not like her, y'know?
Apologies if this sounds like whining. It's just really fresh. Few hours fresh, actually.
I relapsed, and, damn... it is the first time I have been happy in nearly two years. I know such happiness is not lasting, let alone real, but when is it ever?
I never thought I would transition to H, much less the needle, but nothing compares, and I have experienced more than most; said experiences are not solely narcotics-related, but those of life. Still, it is a poor replacement.
I will never forget you, but the H allows me to, for a time.
</3
I went on a date with this girl, had a good time and she suggested more dates already during the first one.
That was almost 2 weeks ago and we have texted a bit back an forth, i asked her about a week a go if she wanted to meet again sometime, she said she was busy but would make time.
So i said `let me know when you have time´
Should i ask her if she wants to see me at a specific date and time or let her approach me?
I'm almost 28 and I have never been able to keep a female interested in me for longer than 1 date. I need help.
>>17323562
Have you tried asking a bunch of retarded questions about their banal shit, as though you've never visited Earth before?
Because that's the cue I have to follow.
>>17323552
Please, seek help. Don't run away from your problems. I just got done drinking a liter of vodka a day for a week straight. I'd prefer to feel like shit and be aware of it than be drunk. Seriously, you can do this.
I have this constant feeling of wanting and needing to go home. The problem is that I AM home.
This track just came on and goddamn it's appropriate for this thread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEwSfbE9IXc
I can't make decisions.
Through the years I've had so many various opportunities, so many things I could've done, so many offers I could've taken, so many pretty girls that've been into me, but I could never choose, now I'm sitting here on my lonely, broke ass, slowly decaying.
I think that I'm good person but I fucking hate myself for letting myself miss out on so much.
>>17323511
>cuck
I can't find the strength to be mad about this.
>>17323529
>>17323538
Yeah, I think videogames were a way to numb me. I'm fluctuating between self-pity and anger at myself for having been such a fuck up.
Scheduling my activities seem like the most reasonable choice right now.
>>17323575
I like to think I do a fair job of trying to be engaging in every conversation by asking lots of questions, adding in snippets of my own self here and there, and so on. Obviously it's a first date, so I keep the topics light and the girl amused.
But like a day or two after that, it's always in the same realm of shit. I tell them I had a great time hanging out with them and I would like to again, but I get blown off. Or they give me radio silence. Or I suggest some event and they would like to go, then back out last minute. Or they would like to reschedule because the date doesn't work with their schedule, then never follow up.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Generally I get that it's expected for me to plan the whole deal, but is it really like pulling teeth for the entire duration of the relationship?
>>17323703
Hey man, I know how you feel : exactly the same here. And I've been rewatching those opportunities over and over and internally cried about those.
And you know what ?
The fact that I was doing that prevented me from seeing new opportunities which came up. And which I ended up rewatching in my mind and I missed others, etc etc.
This is a very vicious circle that is completely illusory because we are focused on the past instead of accepting the lessons of the past to play out the cards right in the fucking present.
My ridiculous OCD/autistic bullshit thing with where i put my feet is acting up again, and my apartment has fucking tile floors!
This is driving me absolutely insane, it's kind of like the feeling of having a wasp land on your ear, or several spiders crawling all over your bare nuts.
Alcohol doesn't get rid of it at all. Fuck!
It's odd. I go through fluctuating phases of being obsessed with her, to accepting it, and then to not caring, then to doubting it.
It happens almost like clock work.
![71AhtX-mAyL[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/vJCW2ab.jpg "71AhtX-mAyL[1].jpg")
Does anyone remember the elementary school birthday ritual where you sat in a circle, dimmed the lights, and read "On The Day You Were Born"? Was there anything else besides that? I'm part of a team running a Summer youth program and was considering doing that for my kids with a Summer birthday.
I dont know if I'm not in love with her anymore or if I'm just not into the whole "relationship" thing right now, but I just want to be left the hell alone.
I pay my girlfriend's 16 yeaar old cousin to give me massage parlor style massages every week and my girlfriend has no idea
I hope I don't wake up..
>>17323494
The situation's solved. I slept for about 12 hours last night, and today I've also spent more time asleep than awake. I fell asleep listening to Bach's organ works which took 2 hours, and now I feel incredibly tired and almost sick. At least I don't have to leave my house now.
>>17322971
It's late but that sounds like depression anon. Shit is rough but you can work through it with help.
And I'm in a similar scenario. Tied to a phone at a job in a cubicle with windows on all sides, doing incoming sales and sending them to another team. Mostly women working there and I feel like the odd one out but I'm slowly acclimating. Got a few people that I can talk to and an absolute qt that leaves little post-its with cat sketches on my monitor or windows.
Don't worry about being awkward during training though. Happens and I felt the exact way you did. I also just had a new guy ghost me and it was awkward as fuck too.
I hope I drift away in my sleep tonight. The pain far exceeds my breaking point.
Take care, y'all.
>>17322998
As of 2 days ago I don't either. And my family is fucked so I don't even have that. My ex threw me out and as of morning I have to leave the hotel cause I'm broke and no where to go with my shit or money to stay at hotel another night. Looks like its time to go thru with the suicide plan for me
I was doing well not looking up my ex's activity online for a while but now I keep feeling compelled to do it. I've also been missing him a lot recently even though I can't trust him anymore and he really hurt me. I really need to stop making excuses to look up what he's doing.
>>17324421
It beats getting drunk and sending them messages saying how sorry you are for being the person you were and realizing they were either sent to dead addresses or other people entirely.
It's a two way street. It sucks. If you didn't get closure, maybe you should seek it out.
>>17324421
Why can't you trust them? How did they hurt you?
I want to give up everything I have and move across the state to be with a girl I found on 4chan
I would be throwing away my 'career' that I hate for something unknown. I love this girl so much but she's younger and doesn't seem to be into me as much anymore and is always half assed into the idea of me moving and it's making me feel like shit
I hate where I am and I love this girl, but I don't want to give it all up and get cucked because she's 20 and doesn't have her mind set on what she wants in a relationship
It makes me sick trying to think of what to do and part of me just wants to kill myself so I don't have to deal with any of this
>>17324438
There is no need for closure for me. He was inexcusably abusive and manipulative toward me in the end. I guess I'm still feeling the remnants of a sort of Stockholm syndrome/traumatic bonding effect due to him. In any case, talking to him would only lead me to trouble and I guess I should at the very least be glad that I've at least ceased any contact with him for nearly two months now.
My friend is going to college in about a month. She keeps asking me what it's like, as I graduated a year before her. But for almost as long as I've known her, she's been with a guy who is a year younger than her, and two years younger than me. On numerous occasions, she has complained to me about her boyfriend being overly clingy and downright unreasonable. A week or so ago, she came to me saying that she was absolutely sick of being with him and she couldn't take it anymore. I told her to break it off with him, since even though I don't have any relationship experience, it's not worth the effort. Plus she confessed around three months ago that she had feelings for her best friend but didn't want to act on them because they were graduating soon. Recently I found out that she's still with her boyfriend acting like everything is alright.
Is there any way I can tell her to stop coming to me with her relationship issues when she obviously doesn't listen? I love her like a sister, but I'm sick of her complaining about her problems, agreeing on solutions, and then going right back to the source because she "feels bad for him."
>>17324467
Then wait it out. It gets easier over time, especially if you surround yourself with positively-minded people. The more contact with others you have, the easier it is to let go of someone you wish not to think about anymore.
Coming from someone who's been on both sides in that situation, just, take an extensive self inventory when you can afford yourself the time.
Shit gets easier over time. Hang in there.
>>17324446
Basically fucked with my emotions and constantly accused me of being crazy or too sensitive when he was the one who was being erratic and constantly degrading me. He also withdrew all forms of intimacy for the past couple months of our relationship. When I tried to leave him for the last time, he threatened suicide. I just had enough of his games and feeling like his punching bag. I don't think I can ever forgive him for putting me through that shit for so long and taking advantage of my emotions.
I'm sick of living in dread about future events. It's all I do anymore. Also why can't i use the quick reply window on this board, why's it gotta be different?
I feel like my obsession over cyberstalking and a certain person who is out of my league is making me hate myself more. I'm tired of daydreaming, I feel like I can't even control it.
And the more I think about it the more I cast (not so old) ghosts. My psychologist once questioned me "and what do you have to offer in a relationship in the hypothetical case you were in one" The answer? More low self esteem issues. Or nothing at all. Why do I keep torturing myself over this? Why can't I just not give a fuck? People tell me all the time that if I stop seeking a partner, someone will actually look for me. I think it's bullshit but what do I know.
>>17323345
>I go through my boyfriends internet history and he knows this. Like he's seen me go through his phone and stuff often and is always completely okay with it.
Fuck you
Over the past two years my younger sister hit puberty and has started growing some seriously nice looking funbags. My curiosity is getting the better of me and I'm dying to get a look/squeeze. I've had her come over to visit and go to the pool but no mishaps have provided a good enough excuse to walk in as she changes etc. I've considered slipping benadryl into her kool-aid or some shit, just to get a look while she sleeps, but I'm paranoid she'd wake up or something.
Help.
>take 2 maths classes
>attend 1 out of 36 lectures and 1 out of 10 tutorials for one
>attend almost every lecture and every tutorial for the other
>get exam results
>pass the one i didnt attend
>fail the one i did
what the fuck
The thought of having to immediately drop someone or something at a moment's notice doesn't sit well with me, yet... I know that no matter how close you get with anyone, it is always a possibility.
I have witnessed stuff like this. To my friends, and even to myself. One day I would see two friends just hanging out and being jovial like normal, the next day one turns on the other. It just makes me think "at some point I may, or even will lose a friend, whether it is through them wanting to cut ties or, hell, whether it is through death itself" and I feel like I would have to get rid of any feeling of camaraderie there once was. I bring up death too because one of my friends actually passed away due to an accident.
I... guess the idea is that because things happen so suddenly, either betrayal or death, that means you have to hold onto the friends and close relations you do have all the more. Right? But... would that not make it all the more devastating if they were to suddenly lose you? Or... does that mean you have to fight all the more to think that will not happen and get it out of your mind? Maybe I am thinking about this too much. Maybe I sound a bit paranoid, too.
I do not even know what I am talking about anymore. My mind is a jumbled mess.
I've lost all of my creativity, all of my appreciation for things in the world and it sucks so very much.
Reel in your shitposting boyfriend who is all agitated just because you're absent or someone is going to lose their patience and point out just how much he shitposted for months at the expense of someone else. This is not a half-assed passive aggressive threat, your boyfriend has set out to piss people off whenever he's a tad bored, it's only understandable one of the people he pissed off would get more annoyed seeing his pathetic shitposting just because you aren't there right now. Reel in his attitude. In the case you read this, do not respond to me even without quoting, just don't fucking respond, I stand by what I said your personality changed to the point that it irritates the fuck out of me, almost as much as his has done since before you even met him.
I'm fucking frustrated. I'm 24 years old, have an awesome job, new car, pretty fit, not bad looking and can talk with confidence. Guess the problem? Girls can't give less of a shit about me. I don't think I'm gods gift to women, but time and time again I meet girls, take them on a date or two then they just fucking drop me. Flat out. Not any explanation or excuse, just bam gone.
My best friend had the worst reaction to edibles today and it's all my fault.
They were burning up and freaking out and their throat was so dry and their skin was so pale and I have never felt more afraid I didn't want my friend to die because of me. Why couldn't I remember they used to be anorexic?? They have so many problems and that all probably made it worse. I have never seen death but dear god it was close to it.
Thankfully they're stable but this is the worst Fourth of July ever I almost let a friend die
Why'd I think tonight was a good idea
>>17324868
Cutting ties with a friend is about as close to having them die as you can get. If there was a lot of camaraderie in the friendship it can be soul crushing especially if you were more than just friends with that person.
That being said you can't let that prevent you from getting close to people. Becoming friends with someone means you make yourself vulnerable to them. It's a risk you take with any friendship but 90% of the time a risk worth taking.
>>17324910
lol wtf how would anorexia have any affect on how marijuana makes you feel
Sounds like your friend is dramatic
What in the absolute FUCK is wrong with you? Seriously, what in the fuck is wrong with your goddamn brain?
Go ahead, keep on with your shitty attitude the moment anyone asks anything of you. You're a selfish human being that has never once given anything to anyone and continues to be a festering leech upon this family, dragging us down slowly.
I wish you'd either die or get kicked out. Only one person would mourn your passing: our mother, the rest wouldn't care or would feel relief. You have zero friends and that's because you're a fucking degenerate asshole.
>>17324941
They were eating edibles and they've got no fat on them so the effects would last longer and be stronger I think. What they had was normal for me but twice as much as their body could take
I think I'll just be alone for my life. No community is worth being a part of, and none wants me. I hate jokes. I hate not being able to talk about what I want to talk about. I hate conforming to anyone but myself. I'm selfish and narcissistic and I wouldn't want to be any other way. It's why I'll be alone.
>>17324888
Also warn him that deleting an image just to repost it with a new filename doesn't stop anyone spotting that it's him talking about himself. He shitposts at the expense of others, he's done that for months. Fix that before he insults the wrong person a second time for a reaction just because he's bored. I couldn't give a fuck how you two are, because your personality change killed all fondness I had for you. I care that he has insulted friends of mine several times over just out of boredom and thinks he can't be held to account for it
>>17324976
You sound really autistic, dude. Before he insults the wrong person? Will the consequences never be the same?
>>17324989
And you sound like someone trying hard to defend someone he doesn't even know. Someone gets bored and likes to throw insults around at every single person he can just for reactions, on the grounds that he can't be held to account for it. Show him that he can actually be held to account for it and he shuts up for an entire day before trying again. It wouldn't bother me if he wasn't insulting my friends just because his partner is absent from his side for a few hours. But when your entertainment comes at the expense of other people, perhaps your reputation needs to take a hit when evidence is next displayed, right? Instead of him thinking people only see him as innocent despite the fact he is stabbing people in the back who defend him
>>17322959
fucking sjws dude just fucking die pls just fucking die you piece of shit.
>>17324994
Good luck with your cybercrusade.
I miss you so bad, why did you just have fuck it up, I still think about you every day.
>>17325017
I would love to go back in time and fix all those mistakes I did that caused you to cheat on me. I really miss you
>>17325008
Discover the meaning of empathy. It's "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another." If you're okay with watching your friends be treated like shit to entertain someone, that's your business. But don't try to take a high ground where you're able to call someone else's morals into question when they're relative. If someone treats several friends like shit, you reach the point where your tolerance of them expires. If those very friends are all people who previously defended that very person, that's outright backstabbing them.
But judging from the fact your immediate reply was "you sound autistic" and then trying to spout a meme, I'd assume such behaviour is common for you to accept or participate in. But then places like /v/, where your image is native, are precisely that.
I'm tired of people that should be brothers and sisters that think they should be dishonest with each other. From the deepest fiber of my being it just makes me realize that the relationships of people aren't as deep as they'd like them to be, all because of these little deceptions that take place. We should be able to tell others what we think honestly and others should also be able and willing to do the same for us. But they are not.
>>17325025
I'm not laughing at your morals, I'm laughing at your presumptuous tone, which naturally lends itself to pisstaking. It's 4chan, grow a thicker skin.
>>17325038
Look at the thread you are in.
im angry at myself for getting so attached to someone who might not even want to be with me
>>17325072
Self hatred is a waste of time, you fucked up, it happens, you're human, congratulations.
You need to focus your energies into things that will allow you to redeem yourself instead of drowning in your own misery.
>>17325117
Not him, but I'm quite an emotional person. I have all this energy I should direct towards any of my hobbies or goals but all I can muster is brainfog and a mental blue screen. I just feel frustrated and unable to think or do anything but dwell on shit. How do I fix this?
My parents are fighting over every little thing
My dad would ask my mom for 20$ for my worthless brother so he can eat
(Fyi, he move out with his girlfriend, out of town and his gf father can't even supply them with food) and my mom get angry, ask me to drive her to work.
I'm getting sick of them fighting.
Another thing, my father goes against my wish. I wanted to get a car but he wanted a truck
I almost got my dream car but then he went in and ask to check it out, delaying the payment. Then we went to check it out, he point that it need a new shock
He said that too many fucking time and fucking picky. We look at this promising truck, then he said it got rust on it, it too small, need new shock. God damnit, he can't fucking make up his mind. And it was a good truck.
it my money, I should spend it whatever I want
To make matter worse, my brother don't know how to save his money, I would give him 80$ and next day, he ask for more, mostly from me and my mom who's paiding the bill
And I thought father supposed to be the man of the house, guess I was fucking wrong
He just fucking lazy around in his basement, asking for disc so he probably record porn or his stupid hockey game.
He don't even look for a job, he got carpentry skill, auto mechanical skill that can help us but instead of using that to get a job, he use an excuse so he can lazy around and my mom is the one who have a job which almost paid the bill, and she didn't completed high school.
I use to care for my brother but now I think of him as a useless person.
I told myself when I get out this house, I go change my last name from this fucking family.
I hope my little sister don't have to go though all that bullshit I'm putting up with
>>17325137
God damn, grammar mother fucker. What are you from the south?
D
he move out with his girlfriend, out of town and his gf father can't even supply them with food) and my mom get angry, ask me to drive. S.
S
>>17322959
Fuck, I don't even know anymore.
Work a shitty job,spend most of my time on my days off getting drunk with my girlfriend's sister. We get handsy but nothing else (She's 20 by the way) i feel guilty for doing that shit it makes me want to drink,working this dead end job makes me want to drink,Thinking about my life 20 years in the future makes me wanna drink.
Granted me and the gf both make enough money to keep us living comfortably (no, we do alright but that's what i tell myself) all i want to do is work .Come home, get drunk. go to bed.
But why is this bitch leading me on even after i told her this isn't okay we shouldn't be doing this . I think she should move out,only reason why she is living with us is because of school it's cheaper than a dorm.
>>17325136
I have been down there myself man. This is when you know it's bad, that fucking fog ugh. I'm getting flashbacks just thinking of it. When the depression is that heavy you can't do a fucking thing. You have a few options, all of which I tried and worked to a varying degree:
1. Find a counselor, you might have to shop around until you find a good one. The good ones are expensive though. It helps having someone who's not a friend or family to vent to and who won't judge you too much.
2. Medication, yeah I know, medication should be a last resort but when you've got it that bad to the point you can't function you don't have much of a choice if you want to keep your job or not drop out of school. I never got prescription drugs but I was doing a combination of high dosages of Saint John's Wort and GABA. When I first started it was like a blanket lifted over my head, it felt great, might have been placebo but I stuck with it for two months and while the impact didn't last I did notice it helping a bit.
3. Go outside, I know this advice is full of memes but going out in nature and bringing my laptop or an instrument really helped me. I feel connected to the world when I'm out there for some reason. When I was stuck in my place all day I just felt completely disconnected and it ate at me. I still try to make it out there 2 or 3 times a week. It helps to clear my mind.
Hopefully this helps.
>>17325147
Sorry, got to let it out
>>17325160
Thank you for your advice. I already tried a counselor years ago, didn't help much, just bounced back really. Medication didn't help either and boy did I try a couple. Unfortunately we don't have Xanax or Zoloft or any of those hardcore American things here in Malta, at least nothing I can get over the counter.
I've just been outside, honestly. Essentially I got the "there's nothing between us anymore" talk and it wasn't mutual. Wasn't a long-term thing at all but I still got attached because she was so different. After sleeping on it, I feel a bit better, still rather numb but even if I got shit to do (like writing short film concepts for later production) I can't seem to focus shit.
How likely is it that I'm rushing into things with my 22 year old gf. I'm 19 and am currently working a pretty shitty warehouse job with the intention of moving back in with my parents once I get into college. I'm pretty poor and so is she, she doesn't even live on her own yet and has had a few crappy retail jobs in the past but nothing substantial. I feel like we should live together and all that shit but realistically I know it'll probably be years before we can do something like that. I feel like I'm wasting time and not going anywhere. Even though I'm only 19 I feel as if I'm running out of time, what's wrong with me?
It's been seven years now, plus six hours or so. I still love you just as much, it still hurts just as much, and I still wouldn't trade this pain for anything, except maybe you.
I saw a picture of you tonight, with those crystal blue eyes and a spark of humor in them, and it fucked me up for an hour. Everyone thought there was something really wrong, because they've never seen me drunk and not cheerful. But they've rarely seen me on the 4th these last 7 years.
How do I sleep with my friend's wife?
>>17325412
You don't. End of story.
C
I fucked R
A
>>17325432
>>17324111
She does now you muppet, since you keep posting it on here. Go away
How the shit do I get all this pain off my chest in words?!?! Everything is just so fucked, I feel worthless, I feel pain, I feel like nothing even matters anymore! I just can't seem to word it when I have the means to do it, I think think think, I regret regret regret I feel like nothing, I think about suicide daily because of how untalented, skilled and socially awkward I can be, how much I just don't compare to others and how low I always feel. I just give up, I give up! I just want to jump off the bridge oh please all I want is to die, I feel like crying I'm broken I'm weak I'm a failure I'm stupid I... just don't know anymore man
>>17325432
Holy mother of god you are such a little biiiiiiiiiitch.
You broke the rules for avatarfagging, and then you actually said that it wasn't for attention. Then you post this. I can't even...like...I have no words.
>>17325450
God I even fucked that up, I said skilled, Jesus I am a wreck and I just want it all to end. I wish a car would hit me, I am begging for anything to just happen I want it all gone I cannot do it anymore
I think I have an unhealthy obsession with an ex I haven't seen in a year.
>Don't want to have sex with them
>Don't want to be with them
>Don't check their fb or estalk them
>Cut off all contact with them
>Don't have revenge fantasies
I just am reminded a lot of them. When I happen I just think of how much of cunt she was after breaking up. Sometimes I think of what I would say if I saw her again.
I'd rather forget her like every other gf. Don't know why this still lingers. Only thing I can think of is I lose friends over it and feels like I lose to her or something stupid
>>17325412
Get them real drunk and go for a three way
>>17325457
Hey, what's up? what's happened?
I am about to become a college dropout after constantly fucking up this year and not having the money to repeat.
I'm 35 and my boyfriend is 51
I feel like people are going to judge me but I'm in love with him
I just want us to be happy together without worrying about what other people think, I do feel it bothers him
Perhaps they wouldn't mind so much if we get married. We're so happy. I hope they're happy for us too
>>17325471
My life happened. I grew up in a dysfunctional home I've always felt worthless, I dropped out and lack education because I'm such an idiot and didn't think it was important. I remember coming home once with a friend to pick up some things and when I had opened to front door there was blood all over the kitchen, he freaked out and left right away without me but I didn't even lose a beat it was just normal. I had to grow up fast I had to be smart to make sure my younger brother was okay. I grew up, I have no job, I have no friends, my GF broke my heart I gave up everything for her and she stomped on it like the cockroach I am, I know I deserved it because every time I give my heart I always get stomped on. I cut my arms up, I tried killing myself multiple times now and I know I am just worthless in the grand scheme of things. People make me feel stupid, I lack the education or skills to compete because I was so broken I became a shut in, afraid of taking opportunities and chances. I grew up and I've lived a life without living, what the hell do I do?! I just want all the pain to end, I cannot suffer anymore man, I know I am nothing I know I am stupid I know I cannot succeed but people keep pulling me back like I'm going to make a difference I can't! I'm just so stupid I'm so stupid I'm just so depressed to be alive how does anybody enjoy living I just can't understand anymore
>>17325452
>>17325446
Thank you janitor-kun~
>>17325482
You're telling yourself a lot of negative things if you read what you said. I don't know if you think you are all these things or other people do. Sounds like you have psychological problems from childhood that are causing you a lack of self worth now so patterns are repeated. Try to focus on your successes and maybe talk through what happened to help you understand why you feel how you do now. It's not to late to start doing the things you missed out on if they're important to you and yr life experiences are important in shaping your future too. Make some changes in your life, start with the simple things like going for a walk each day. And Think about how your diet might affect your mood
My father's awake again. 5:42 in the morning and he's playing his shitty live concert music again while my mother's asleep. The same father who hasn't had a job in over a decade. I'm not exaggerating when I say that everyone in my life would be much better off with him dead.
I have a first date friday . We're going to picnic on the beach. I just hope i'm not going to fuck everything up.
>>17325492
Iktf
>>17325480
I'm 33 and my previous boyfriend was 55
We were happy as children, not giving a damn of what other people would think because we were deeply in love and making each other happy and that is what matters.
Don't let people from outside say otherwise, the relationship is between you two, not with the world. Life is so short.
female roleplayers are absolute garbage
oh i'm sorry this scenario isn't playing out like the fanfic you envisioned, but could you please stop showing your fat cow tits to everyone?
The pair of you have shit for brains. You're back yard scratchers, not "tattooists". If you were good enough, you'd be working in a shop. If you weren't assholes, I would have given you a job. It's not that we're too good for you, it's the fact you aren't good enough. Learn to draw and get on our level, instead of ruining people's skin, spreading infections and embarrassing yourselves.
>>17325554
and the gm invariably drooling over all girls
I've been considering leaving my partner of three or so years for a month now. I didn't even realise I was miserable with him until I finally let everything I felt out to a friend and they commented on how they hadn't heard me say a single positive thing about him or our relationship for six months. It's suddenly becoming horribly clear how unhappy I've been. We haven't had sex in three months and the ways he used to appeal to me simply turn me off now. All I want to do is get off this ride and send this relationship into the grave but still I love something in him that makes it difficult to even bring it up.
I think he knows this relationship is dying but he won't say a single fucking word to help me end it. Not to mention I'm a fucking coward who couldn't start a confrontation with someone trying to murder me. I can't shout, scream, bring out a reasonable argument. Not to mention he's stubborn as hell and deep inside me there lies a horrible fear that he'll convince me to stay even if I try to end it and I'll convince myself all over again that I'm happy with him. He isn't very social, lives with his mum and argues with her constantly, barely has any motivation to do a thing except watch TV and masturbate. I've been daydreaming of seeing new people, just feeling romantic and sexual attraction towards someone again and being passionate, for fuck's sake. I miss that feeling.
Not to mention that spare this one friend, everyone thinks my partner and I will be together forever. They all think I'm fine being attached to this fucking dead weight. My parents ask but I can't bear to tell them.
>>17323560
Don't nag her about it or she'll probably start feeling pressure to choose a date. Maybe ask what she'd like to do when you two go out next, go the pictures or lunch or whatever. At least then you're showing you're keen but not pushy.
And while you should give her time to answer, you should unfortunately acknowledge the slim chance that if she doesn't get back to you in the end it is probably a silent statement that she'd rather end the dates there. As the piece of shit I am, I've done it. But be optimistic anon and just see what happens.
Curse my addiction to plastic crack, these models will be the death of my wallet.
Why did that mean so much?
I got rejected by the girl I love. Is it even worth going on?
>>17323235
Are they still called chavs anymore? Cos they seem better dressed and have less pockmarked faces these days in my area.
And I don't know if it's cos staying in the house all these years but I find it almost difficult to distinguish between estate scum and the hipsters these days. I'm marginally surprise that hipsters don't get robbed more often but I guess now, hipsters are their number one customers for drugs.
>>17325572
Break up with him senpai
I've been reading up on the early years of the internet, and it sounds amazing. I know people tend to romanticize these things, but I feel like I missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience here.
>>17325904
How far back are we talking about?
>>17325913
Ideally, anything in the 90s, but the early 2000s also fascinate me. I feel like I got the short end of the stick here, as someone just barely old enough to post on this site.
>>17325904
You don't feel like it. You literally missed a once in a lifetime experience.
>>17325934
Well, sure. I mean in the sense that what is to come is going to be a lot shittier in comparison.
>>17325904
Oh yeah
we had some amazing memes back then
>>17325572
>Dead weight
If you think this way about him just end it. And if you are a coward write a letter and talk afterwards (or just leave after the letter and go full coward)
I understand your fear of beeing convinced... Im changing to another field of study in college and my mom constantly tries to talkme into trying. Also my sister (and no i dontlive at home since ive been 17). Only my girlfriend seems tounderstand and i cant decide if i should try the last exam and then change or just dont go there. Because what is the fukin point. right? right?
>>17325761
yes and PLEASE start to realize that you can only reallylove one after beeing together with them. Not up in front. You can like her you can think shes pretty and want to do a thousand thinks. But if you really think you love her she thought you were actingcreepy and maybe thats the problem.
I just wanted to be with one person. It could be seen as delusional but I know i experienced something special. But now my life has somehow become a big ball of confusion and it doesn't help that I haven't really been motivated. Im being pushed and pulled in every direction by others. It just makes me so angry and when people ask why I'll just sound like a crazy person. Which I don't mind but that'll just add another fucker to the list who think they know me better than I know myself. I also think I unknowingly gave up the ammo to cause whatever happened to happen and I think that's the worst feeling. I think that's why I'm empty, why it hurts. I'm tempted to find you but somehow I think I'll just make things worse. You've got my heart.
I slept from 930 to 10. What a great sleep
I'm sorry I left you, but you were an asshole manchild and wouldn't have listened anyway.
I only miss how good you looked with me and sometimes your kisses. Stop arguing with me in my dreams.
Also your new gf is a dumb peasant who will leave you in a year for someone with better looks, so good luck with that. Should have treated me better.
>>17325942
>Well, sure. I mean in the sense that what is to come is going to be a lot shittier in comparison.
Well, it seemed like craziness kept to it's own corners of the internet. Like I remember being on the early sonic fandom and noting after awhile that there was something wrong with them.
I've been in a 4 year relationship with my current girlfriend, but now im starting to feel i dont love her anymore, she's such a nice and charming person and i dont want to hurt her, so i havent been able to bring myself to finish the relationship, and its been eating me for the past couple months.
>>17326016
I suppose, I just miss the idea of a Wild West type thing. You don't "surf the web" now because there are only a few sites you really go to.
>>17326012
I only miss yourlooks
your new bitch only likes your looks andwill dumb you. You should stayed by me
>logic
>>17326022
Kek
My step sister and i had sex last month, im 23 and she's 21 we've met a couple of times some years ago, at some parties as we had some friends in common, (small town)
but we never actually spoke much to each other past the "hi how you doing", long story short, my mother met her dad dated some time after this and they got married
year and a half ago, we moved all to the same house, started to get along, and became good friends over the past year, aparenttly she had some kind of crush on me,
back when we first met, a thing she confessed when we went to a bar last month, one thing led to another and we had sex, its been ackward since then, she wants
to have a serious relationship with me but i just dont know what to do, i mean we are not blood related, and we didnt grew up together, i was just a coincidence
our fols got married, but anyways well i had to get it off me.
Im slowly becoming a drug addict.
Why did you text me :(? You're just going to disappear again...
>>17326022
>expecting logic out of women.
You should know better m8. Women are utterly self centered morons to who are solely governed by emotions, not logic.
>>17326021
>You don't "surf the web" now because there are only a few sites you really go to.
It's sort of better for it, since you tended to surf cos you'd find a LOT of crappy sites.
Friend and I are both in our mid-20s, but it's starting to bother me how much he copies everything I do, or asks where I got something, he will get the same shit. I feel like a child about this, but this feels like preteen stuff.
Plus, if I have a good day and try to be positive, he has little snide comments. He once gave me a gift, then made a post on social media to his friends and family about it saying "I'm glad I can help anon in his time of need", shit man I thought it was just a gift because we're friends? I feel stupid and I wonder what is wrong with me.
>>17326143
That's not a friend
Within the last year since we last spoke one-to-one, you seem to view yourself much harsher now. Do you show this to your friends? I hope so, just so they can talk you around. Stop viewing yourself quite that badly, at least
>>17325440
Is it appropriate to ask someone probably depressed, who I don't really know well, how they are doing? It's someone from my university classes. She has been missing since last week and I just want to be friendly.
I'm probably over-thinking this.
>>17326086
Some are. Others are pretty cool and human just like you
>>17326022
Lol way to change what I said into something else
Stay mad virgins
>>17323303
you have just described my current situation perfectly. was having amazing sex, now nothing, idk what to do with myself now/
Fuck.
Why did I text you back?
Fuck fuck fuck
>>17326467
Because you're human, lad/lass. Don't be ashamed of that, everybody has these moments. You usually know what you should've done AFTER the fact. Apply that knowledge to your next hiccup and be better, little by little.
He just used me to feel better. He's trash and I hate him. Regret ever talking to him.
I'm hurting so much.....
>>17322975
That's a good thing, It means you have true feelings for her and think of her more than just some sexy girl. It means that you really enjoy her presence and are happy around her. If you can hit it off with her you'll have the best time of your life, trust me, I've been there before :)
I think I'm going to end it all finally. I've given up on love, no one can possibly love me. Everytime someone says they love me and will never leave me a week later they admit they were lying and hiding someone else for me but they "truly loved me" but feel too bad to be with me and that I "deserve someone better".
The only thing that I've ever wanted in this world was love. Since I'm never going to get that I got nothing else in this world do I? The only other thing that makes me semi-clam are bunnies but because of my shit luck and my shit body I'm allergic and cannot live with buns in enclosed spaces or be around them for prolonged times. The only thing that could give me a reason to live and I can't even go near them without being physically ill.
My life is nothing but suffering and unfair bullshit and I can't handle it anymore. Soon I'm just going to end it all, leave this god awful world that cannot find a reason to love me and hopefully never reincarnate or have to face a God in heaven to pay for my transgressions for suicide.
>>17326552
E.?
>>17326610
I do not know what to tell you friend.
Sometimes love comes from unexpected places. Everyone deserves some love in their life. Don't you have a single friend out there?
Even if you don't, find that second wind.
I secretly wanted MMF or a full blown gangbang with my ex gf, but she wasn't into it so I never told her.
>>17326633
Haha no. No one is going to care that I will die. At most they will just say "Wow, that sucks." And then a few weeks later make jokes about my suicide.
I'm not worth anything to anybody.
>>17326653
I'm in a place where, I'm in a lot of pain from things that happened quite a while ago. I'm quite ill too, so I know my time is coming to an end.
I've decided to go travelling, to see the world, and maybe find some friendly faces.
If you're so resigned to your fate, why not do the same? Have you anything left to lose?
Personally, I'm leaving tomorrow.
>>17326662
No money, I'm struggling to even pay for college because that nigger obama decided that young adults need to be dependent on their parents until the age of 24, and since my parents make too much money, and I'm FORCED to be declared as a dependent under my parents even if I live on my own or anything else, none state help for this nose to the grindstone student who has fucking nothing. Haha.
And since my parents are too fucking cheap to pay for my college, but yet I can't disown them, I'm forced working my ass off for 6 months to go to college for a semester and end up with no money to do it again next year.
Go figure even trying to make something of myself is made of pure suffering too!
>>17326675
I'm in the UK friend.
>2008 housing crisis
>Suddenly £9,000 a year tuition loans
We're in similar boats, don't worry. We've both been conned out of a happy future by egalitarian societies that try to justify impoverishing youth through 'everyone is equal', when people are frequently born unequal on the terms they're trying to maintain equality.
>>17326691
Welp, have fun on your trip. I'm bound to my dark room for a short while longer until I end it.
>>17326722
Sell everything. Just got for it.
I only have my flight, 2 nights in a hotel, and £700.
I sold everything I could, just for a little fun.
>>17326617
I didn't write it but it can be~
>>17326774
E would never come to this place.
>>17326779
Then why would you ask?
>>17326786
A man can hope.
>>17326308
Initials? who's this for?
>>17326552
How did he use you?
>>17326801
A J, he won't come here, though. Every now and then we seem to cross paths and so I just felt like writing that. We haven't spoken since May last year, outside of an indirect conversation early December. Just felt like writing that out for no reason
I think I'm going to finally ditch this place again. It's unhealthy. /adv/ was a safe place for me, and now it is not;unless I used another alias, but it is affecting my life too.
It was fun. I'm going to keep everything inside now or something. I'll probably lurk in time once it's died down a little.. Too many people know I am here now. People who want to know whats going on and how I'm feeling behind my eyes
Lune
>>17326884
See you again tomorrow
3 months later and I still miss you. I still don't know what to tell people about us when they ask why you left.
Compounded with the fact that a month after you were gone I lost my job, I'm at the lowest point in my life so far.
3 months without you, 2 months without work. I'm starting to get desperate here. I've lost 30 pounds since you've been gone, so thanks for that, I guess.
I wish you'd see the potential of us, but nowadays rereading everything you ever gave to me seems like absolute bullshit.
I'm running out of options.
I am a young white male, and I have the chance to loose my virginity to a chubby black woman. She is not very physically appealing, but is very intelligent and fun to be around, which makes her shine in a way that kind of makes up for her ugliness (I am no longer repulsed when I look at her). I can't decide whether I want to go ahead and get it over with, or save it for someone else. She is also a virgin.
It just dawned on me that no matter what happens next, how much the world may change, or how differently things turn out in the future, you'll always be the person who dumped me.
>>17326931
I remember this post. And you're probably right.
>>17326589
Atleast I know my feelings are geniune.
But if only I actually could get with her. Instead I was "friendzoned" when I tried in April. But the feelings have not faded at all since that. Possibly even stronger now.
Good job, enjoy your new boyfriend moving in with you in a week. Enjoy flaunting your relationship as much as you have done, and enjoy being more serious with him in the time you've been together than you were with me. Good for you, you have your smile. Don't ever talk to me in the future, even as a passing comment. No matter how much time passes, no matter any circumstances.
GOD DO I FUCKING HATE YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. WHY? WHY DID YOU FUCKING STEP INTO MY LIFE? FUCK YOU FOR ACTING LIKE YOU CARE. YOU CARE WHEN YOU FUCKING WANT SOMETHING.
The only thing stopping me from killing myself is not wanting to burden my mom or upsetting her.
>>17326445
>>>17323303
>you have just described my current situation perfectly. was having amazing sex, now nothing, idk what to do with myself now/
Congrats on having amazing sex with ur bf. Mine was dissapointing, still better than nothing.
>>17326691
>egalitarian societies
We clearly aren't an egalitarian society but the upper classes have sown enough seeds of hate between the lower classes to keep them down.
>>17327039
What happened?
>be me
>work hard to get a great school
>taken in the 9th best school of my country
>too poor to live in the school's city
It might sounds stupid but damn that's harsh
>>17327183
I always thought I could never commit suicide. That's a coward's act and even if you lost everything, you can run away and do anything at all. You've nothing to lose.
and I still kindof think that way, but man I just got back from a small outing with two of my closest buds. One got off a 13 hours office shift and the other a 10 hour excavation (he's an archaeology student), because they know I'm feeling like dogshit. And they put their arms around me and told me to never do anything stupid because they fucking care.
I cried like a little bitch. I got tears streaming down my face right now I can hardly see the fucking keyboard. I can't let these people down but I feel like I'm just a broken piece of shit and no matter how hard I try I just bounce between a few hours where I feel good and can take on the world and then it's right back to feeling like I'm utterly useless and the only productive thing I will ever accomplish with my life is to end it eventually.
>>17327351
You got people that care, friend. Good on you. I'm not without those, but the people I want to care just don't. I'd die everyday for them if needed be, yet I'm met with indifference.
[spoiler]I want to die.[/spoiler]
>>17327391
Let's do it, friend.
>>17322977
Good luck anon.
Truthfully I've thought of doing the same.
How much have you saved up?
>>17327381
Yeah, for some reason our minds are always kindof selfish like that aren't they? Surrounded by good things and yet always the one bad thing we're hung up on.
>>17327391
>>17327397
I feel like there should be some organisation for suicidal people who agree to team up and go around the world doing crazyass shit like just waltz up to crackhouses with crowbars and beat the shit out of everyone or other acts of public service. Not like we'd give a shit if we get shot would we? Best case scenario we live through it and find a reason to go on.
>>17323586
I do not need help, and had over a year of clean time prior to this. While being able to forget her is a pleasant diversion, it is not the main reason for my relapse.
A weeklong bender is just that, my friend, but I appreciate the thought; your heart is in the right place.
You are right, I can. I will, however, do this three bag shot that will be just slightly less than divine.
>>17327417
Kinda like a Suicide Squad?
In the light of these suicidal posts, please Anonymous, I plead you to go to the person you care the most and let them know you care. Anything to let them know you think about them.
>>17327476
Oh for fuck sake. Yes, but an ACTUAL suicide squad.
>>17327498
I'm all in. All I ever wanted was to matter.
>>17327541
I'm matter, but I don't matter....
>>17327541
I always wanted to be a hero. I fell in love with the arthurian knight archetype growing up, and with Optimus Prime and the fantasy lawful good paladin ideal.
I just want to be the guy that holds the bridge while everyone escapes to safety. If there's one thing in this world I'm confident I can do, it's that.
>>17327417
I've got a better idea, what about an organisation that takes the lives of suicidal people and actually acts to improve their overall well being with adequate treatment that isn't the frightening prospect of a mental institution with Grungo the violent Retard?
Somewhere people can go to be nurtured and given self worth they may have never had that led them down a dark and dangerous path. Somewhere they don't feel like a small cog in an unfeeling machine. Somewhere they get to grow, relax, and laugh for a little while, until they're well enough to face the world.
I met her in college, we are both Nursing students. She is a solid 9/10 for me (But many see her as maybe a 7, 8 max). Damn near perfect.
Same majors
Similar outlook on life
We both have a soft spot for country music (Kinda odd both of us being from NYC Suburbs)
Same selfless interests
Similar Politics
Both kinda nerdy.
Similar Mannerisms
I tried getting with her, but stuff happened due to both me and her friend. Maybe in a few months time we will be a thing, I kinda have a feeling that it will happen.
Also her Racial background could be an issue with my parents. Seeing as she is mixed (75% White, 25% Black) She does not look it at all, so I probably can hide it for a good long while. (Looks like a dark red haired slav)
I don't care about here racial background at all. I fell for her thinking he was just 100% Irish. Found out about her background, and it did not change a fucking thing for me. I "love" her just as much as when I fell for her
I posted pictures to /soc/ and now I feel awful. I showed my tits and underwear and then deleted them when I was asked to take the panties off. Is this considered cheating? How bad if a person am I? Should I tell my husband and apologize?
>>17327565
Yeah but what kinda pussy wants that shit? I kid, I know it sounds awesome but a lot of people just seem to be incompatible with this world and its methods. You go out and bam, it's back to square 1, it's like advanced counseling, but it ends and you're on your own eventually anyway.
>>17327550
You and I both.
>>17327561
I like the sound of that and you do seem like a cool guy.
>>17327565
Like that'll ever happen.
>>17327592
Tell him. 10 bucks says he's into that. I know I am.
>>17327592
You're not getting enough sexual attention from your partner. I think that's the real problem.
I thought things were complicated before, and I thought I had a clear understanding on how things worked... and then it's a bit like leveling up and then suddenly you're not the big fish anymore, you know what I'm talking about?
So many sacrifices, so many choices made and still to be made, so many intermingled paths, too many narrow threads of thinking that too many lost souls have relegated themselves to in the hope that thread leads them out of consuming darkness; following no particular path but a single errant strand, so much understanding that both empowers and engenders despair for the state of things and the fact that others cannot be led to it.
The thing that was never related about the Sword of Damocles is that it is not a sword that hangs over the throne, something that exists because of the position itself. The position is ancillary to the knowledge and effort of the king, taken at a price, to get there. The throne is as much a state of mind as a position.
The sacrifices made to end up at a place that can both create and destroy, and that no others can be led to weigh heavily in support of that blade.
Then the question is posed, is it by choice, or fate? Well that is where I stop this nonsense, because it is unanswerable and I won't waste my time on such topics.
It's a ridiculous thing to say, but the small blade above my head isn't satisfactory. Grow, blade.
>>17327597
>Tell him
He knows I used to do it before we met (not on /soc/ but other websites), but I hadn't done it since and I feel like I've broken his trust.
>>17327601
I do, though. He's always telling me how sexy and hot he thinks I am. I think I probably did it because I don't think I'm attractive and I wanted confirmation from someone other than him.
I can't stop thinking about this fucking bitch. I literally did everything for her, and I get mad at her ONE fucking time, and suddenly its like I wasn't on the phone with her all night when her best friend ratted her out to the cops or when she thought she was going to fail her class and couldn't stop crying.
I had every right to get fucking mad too, she was hooking up with some ugly fuck in my own house to a party I invited her to because she's under 21 and can't get into a bar, but I'm an asshole getting mad because apparently we had an "open relationship" even though we've gone on multiple dates before that.
The fucking annoying part is I still care about her and I have no idea why. It's probably because I had more fun with her than any other girl ever. She's immature as fuck as for some reason I love it. For the last month she lied to my face giving me BS about why she's always busy and can't hang out and now she literally won't even answer my texts or calls.
Why can't I just fucking move on /adv/? I redpilled so hard, and I literally have fucked other girls since we stopped talking, but I can't get myself to stop caring about her.
>>17327634
...What?
