Man my mom is literally the fucking worst. As soon as I get a little money from my job she wants to extort it all. Talking about gas money and bills. Like wtf I'm supposed to be saving money. Not fucking paying for shit you supposed to pay for. I'm never gonna leave this house at this rate. I mean I don't mind helping her out. But like I only had $50 dollar check. I had to give her money just to bring me to the bank. She said she wasn't gonna ask for money and let me save up. I'm trying not to save up for a car and school and she wants me pay bills give her gas money every week, and spend like $200 on food every month. Like i won't be saving any money. I would basically be stuck here And the place I work isn't even that far. It's like a two minute drive every day. She brought some old lady around town all day and the women stole fucking $200 from her. But she can't bring her own daughter to work so she can save up to get the fuck outta here. But she can't bring her own daughter to work. I'm trying to save up for a car, and an apartment. But I can't if she wants me to pay for all that stuff. I'mma straight up kill myself if I have to stay here that long. Idk what the fuck to do. I'm so lost and I don't have anyone else to stay with.
>>17322087
Well you are right, your mother seems like a giant bitch. How old are you, how much do you make, where do you work? I would advice to try to keep your money for yourself and leave as soon as you are able. Are you by chance from single mother home?
>>17322087
You live there and she want has you contribute to things like gas after driving you to work?
The horror!
I can't believe that selfish cunt! I mean, who does she think she is, driving you around, wanting gas money?! To top it all off, you live there and she forces you to contribute?! Jesus, what a terrible mother.
>>17322100
Not the OP. When you decide to have child you take upon yourself obligation to raise and provide for them. If you don't do that you don't deserve the title mother, breeder would be more apropiate. Her mother should be glad she wants to be independent but instead her mother is stupid piece of shit that tries to stop her child from starting her own life. It's not like OP wants to throw money away, OP wants to save and get independent herself.
>>17322087
move out then and pay for everything yourself
looking forward to the next thread where you can't save up because you are paying for all the bills instead of the occasional gas money
>>17322110
Parent's don't owe their kids jack shit beyond their 18th bday. OP lives with her mom, has her mom drive her to work and back, and is bitching about contributing?
This entitlement shit has to stop. "Oh bler bler, they gave birth to me and now I am an adult, this is all their fault! Derp derp."
>>17322087
Get off these boards you retarded kid
>>17322125
I'm not sure from where this type of thinking comes from. But what I am sure is that you are kind of person that will die sad, alone and without your children tending you, if you ever will have them. Have fun with that!
>>17322134
Asking your children to be responsible adults will leave one sad and alone? Lmao.
At least they'll be out doing their shit, when I die, instead of having no damn structure and ending up homeless because I let them mooch off me their entire adult lives.
>>17322099
>how old are you
I'm 18
>where are you working
I just landed a summer job working with kids in a summer camp type thing. Pays about 8 dollars an hour.
>single child?
Hell no. I have like 8 brothers and sisters.
Also, I'm practically broke. My mom hasn't had a job in 20 years, lives off the government, and spends the checks she gets on useless garbage instead of buying food and paying bills.
>>17322158
in that case the faster you move out the better it will be for you
either you will:
A: come to realize stuff your mother does for you and respect her more
B: become independant
win win situation
>>17322149
Do you really belive person can just magically start being adult when they pop 18 and then just cruise through life succesfully and happy? There is this strange thing like family, loyality, love, helping people you love. It makes everyone in family stronger and happier. If you treat your children like strangers a minute the break the magic 18 (a age society told you to stop caring for them...) you doom yourself to loneliness. And to be honest if you just wait till 18 to push them out of your care you probably weren't good parent in the first place and they lack in every way you should teach them. It's like my father. Person that called himself breeder and never took any responsibility of teaching any of his children shit ("what? You had public school and friends to teach you everything about life") and now he cries for attention noone is willing to give him.
>>17322162
>come to realize stuff your mother does for you and respect her more
What? OPs mother doesn't work and live of goverment, she is basically worthless person.
>>17322158
I asked if your mother is single, as if you have father? Also, so many brothers and sisters. Just run away. Try to get stable job and some roommates, maybe relationship with someone you can cohabite in rented conditions.
>>17322162
The point is my Mother doesn't do SHIT. For me.
The home we live in is falling apart. We barely have any food. She spends the checks she gets from the government on useless shit and gambles all of the money away.
>>17322087
Poor baby.
You've been living off mommy for what - 18 years or so? - and now she wants you to make a small gesture toward paying your way.
How dreadfully unfair!
>>17322168
>when they pop 18 and then just cruise through life succesfully and happy?
I had a job at 15 and moved out at 17, it wasnt successful for a long time and It was rarely happy but that's how you become an adult, you dont become an adult getting coddled in your parents house, even if she takes your part time job money for the rent you normally dont pay
>>17322175
>>17322181
>hasnt had to pay bills until he gets a job and is expected to help out
i'm not claiming that your mother is a saint or that i know anything about you, but to say she doesnt do anything for you is just fucking stupid
again, moving out would end up in my previous 2 options happening, either you would respect your apparent gambling addict mother more, or you would become an adult and be independant
either way you win, all you need to do is move out
>>17322175
Sorry. I didn't understand. My mother has a boyfriend. She'll sometimes run off and leave me and my siblings alone for days with him.
>>17322168
This is fucking rubbish. It's all one giant assumption as to what I believe.
As someone who started flipping burgers at 14 to save for college and had to help with gas, and bills, your PROJECTION is entirely unfounded and I call bullshit.
Nobody ever mentioned "pushing them out," that is yet another assumption you came to by yourself.
This is a waste of time, I can already tell I speaking to a manchild.
>>17322198
Read what you just said and look at yourself, faggot.
>>17322212
Aw, has manchild been reduced to common slurs?
Poor baby. Call your mom into the room, maybe she'll bring you a diet soda.
>>17322185
>but that's how you become an adult
That's hard, painful and sad way. You also can be taught it by loving parent who will help you be happy, successful and fulfiled in life.
There is this thing called "responsibility" and parents have great resposibility towards their children. It wasn't your fault but you have to admit that your parents failed you. They should taught you and help you became the most successful and hapiest version of you possible. They probably failed or didn't care in first place. I understand you are proud of yourself. The fact that you managed. But it is not productive to absolve all the parents of their resposibility (that they put on themself) just because you managed. That's the best way of degenerate and dying society we observe today.
>>17322184
Read the fucking thread. It turns out OPs mother is basically Gibs-me-dat don't do shit herself and just gets money from goverment. That's not the person to back here. You obviously have issues.
>>17322186
Yea, she is single mother. "Single mothers" are most toxic parents you can have. And the fact that she leaves you alone. Your mother is a piece of shit. Do you have older siblings? I suggest moving out together with them or to them.
Work to run your way away.
>>17322198
>>17322216
Well you are now arguing with 2 people now. And ask yourself man. Are you happy? Do you feel fulfiled? If yes, great. But maybe you feel lots of rage and resentment in yourself. You seem like a person who has it all together. What are you doing now with your life? What is your carrier? I'm stomatologist, it's pretty comfy for me and didn't have suportive parents either.
You also seem to think that every parent is just magically the same person. Which makes me think I'm speaking to simpleton. Maybe your parents were wonderfull people that had just problem with money and showed you to be responsibile. OP has single mother who leaches from goverment and takes from her own children. Not a role model.
>>17322220
My older siblings have moved out of state and are struggling with their own issues and kids. Thanks for the suggestion though. I'm gonna try to find someone else to stay with but I really hate depending on people. I don't have a car, and I don't even have my license. So I'm unsure to how to just get started with shit. I need to jump start myself but I'm not sure how to go about it..
Thank you for you for backing me up. I really appreciate it.
>>17322228
Fulfilled, yeah! Thanks for asking.
My "carrier" is Sprint, as a broke Law student, that's about what I can afford right now.
I don't think every parent is magically the same person, but as stated earlier, I had to do what op is being asked to do, and at a much earlier age. My Dad used to pop pills every day and my Mom was right behind him, doing the same shit.
So yeah, having to help them, ergo TO HELP ME, was not only mandatory, but it also was very practical. Did it teach me responsibility? You tell me ... started work at 14, moved out at 17 and found my way to Law school.
Everyone can overcome their backgrounds and their shitty parents, it's a matter of getting sucked into the vortex or not. It's not easy, it's not pain-free, but it is possible and blaming shitty parents does nobody any good, especially at 18 years of age.
>>17322198
I'm not saying anything about you or me. It is anonymous board. I'm just trying to put forth argument for "better parenting" almost all successful and happy people had love and care from their parents just take Bill Gates or Richard Branson. Or read some books about rasing children. Lots of problems I see from people all around it because of their parents failure as parents. Parents have resposibilities. If child feels grateful it is great that she helps them. But she should not be obligated to. It is entirely possible that shitty parent fucked with the kids head and scared it for life.
>>17322087
>It's like a two minute drive every day.
Then walk. Also, buy the cheapest shit you can. Also, next time lie to her about how much you make.
>>17322125
If their kids aren't self sufficient they should be forced to support them desu. Kids don't raise themselves. Burdening society with useless people and then pretending it's not your problem is bullshit.
>>17322243
>>17322244
>>17322247
I had kind of shitty parents.
I did the whole 'I'll dig myself out' thing.
But there is something that still aches inside knowing that not even my parents wanted me to succeed. It's a mental toll. It says to me that nobody wants me to succeed, because if the people that made me don't, then why would others?
Does it hit my motivation, self drive, and confidence? Yeah.
>>17322244
I understand the premise of what you're getting at, and having studied psychology (err taken some courses), I get it and understand the development and nurturing process.
If the mother can't afford gas and OP needs to get to work, then HOW is she getting to work if she does not contribute to gas? That's my entire point.
>>17322247
Look, I feel you, but it's far too late to pass it on to the mother at this point. Does she sound like an utter failure? Indeed she does. Her mom isn't going to magically improve overnight, and chances are OP is far better off just arranging something with her mom until she can get to a point to spread her wings.
im sorry to say this man but its time for you to realize that most women, including your mother, see us, men, as nothing more than a dildo shaped ATM so if you EVER want to become a man you HAVE to LEAVE your mother. You sound like your father is not around which figures, women can take care of children but can never turn a boy into a man. (even tho i know u r thinking how fucking a hoe makes u man)
btw this only applies if u r a guy, if u r a girl better learn how to give good blowjobs n not bitch so much, sorry.
>>17322243
Man, noone is discusing the fact that you had it hard. You had it shitty. MAYBE more than OP has. And noone is discusing the fact that you are strong and deserving respect for fighting your way up. Really. Good for you and you are probably much stronger person than I am. But the fact is that your parents failed you. In almost every way. You managed to grow because of it is just credit to how strong you are. Not everyone is that strong and noone should be asked to endure that. That situation should not be norm, it should be socially unacceptable. You were hurt by the people that took responsibility and it probably scared you in a ways you might not even see yet (let's hope not!)
>blaming shitty parents does nobody any good
on the contrary. Realizing that something important is missing from your life... realizing your cause of many of emotional problems is first step to win with them. And you have to blame your parents some to not "get sucked into vortex" (very nice phrase). You need to realise how shitty they are.
>I really hate depending on people
Understandable given you could probably never depend on your mother. Try to befriend people you would want to live (rent) with. If you have so many siblings it could be potential to help them, raise them. Love that you will get later from that will be tenfold. Fight on!
>>17322220
> You also can be taught it by loving parent who will help you be happy, successful and fulfiled in life.
Sure, but that doesnt (and shouldnt) exclude going out and making mistakes and having some form of hardship
>"responsibility"
If his mother failed him or not is beside the point, she has paid the bills, housed and fed him to this point, regardless if she is a bad mother or not, asking for rent when possible is not unreasonable
>>17322256
>Her mom isn't going to magically improve overnight, and chances are OP is far better off just arranging something with her mom until she can get to a point to spread her wings.
Yeah. I think we all know kind of narcistic asshole people OPs mother is one of. I would be VERY surprised if her mother was kind of person to make resonable deals with.
I am all for lying to mother, geting your own money, your own job and geting out.
>>17322239
You can do it and obviously this part
>I really hate depending on people
Understandable given you could probably never depend on your mother. Try to befriend people you would want to live (rent) with. If you have so many siblings it could be potential to help them, raise them. Love that you will get later from that will be tenfold. Fight on!
was meant for you.
>>17322269
>Sure, but that doesnt (and shouldnt) exclude going out and making mistakes and having some form of hardship
Yea, but you guys jumped on OP like a bunch of angry dogs for standing up to HER (really guys? Some perception is needed it is clearly stated in OP that she is daughter) mother. It was my only reservation with you.
Sure OP has to get her shit together but at this points she doesn't owe shit to her mother. She "owes" to the goverment that fed her, her sibling and her "piece of shit" mother.
>>17322279
my original post was >>17322112
1; the OP didnt have a single part that said her mother was gambling or was on the dole, the only thing we could assume was that her mother isnt to be trusted with money around old people
2: 2 mins drive away is fucking nothing, OP soundedlike a whiney fuck that she has to walk 5-10 mins to work
3:$200 on food every month and complains about not getting fed, $200 a month would be a godsend to people who really are pennyless
I'm pretty overweight and i spend less than that
>>17322292
>1; the OP didnt have a single part that said her mother was gambling or was on the dole, the only thing we could assume was that her mother isnt to be trusted with money around old people
Yea it's called "Iceberg Writing" or just reading between lines. It's quite easy to identify problem you had to deal yourself.
>3:$200 on food every month and complains about not getting fed, $200 a month would be a godsend to people who really are pennyless
Yea, OPs mother wants HER (OP) to spend that much money on food. It's obvious something is wrong here. It probable that bitch (mother) just wants money on booze.
>2: 2 mins drive away is fucking nothing, OP soundedlike a whiney fuck that she has to walk 5-10 mins to work
Again it's quite obvious OP is just fucking frustrated about her mother neglecting their own children and valuing complete strangers more than her own kin. Something again I know much about. It's not about 2 min drive it's about how selfless this bitch (mother) can be to complete scum strangers and yet not willing to put ANY effort for her children without bitching about it.
Yea and again, if you don't feel you have good understanding on the problem it helps to ask question. It seems I was right all along about the situation and yet I was still the one asking question. You guys (maybe not you that much) just jumped to your conclusions and shaming OP.
>>17322269
All of this...
>>17322276
>I am all for lying
This is just an ethical divide we'll have to agree to disagree on. I don't believe OP should resort to her mother's tactics, she should wholeheartedly try to come to an arrangement they can both agree on, and usually that is where both parties walk away unhappy.
>>17322263
I was merely giving an example of my experience, I don't want any accolades for them. I do fine putting that shit on merit scholarship applications and smiling when I get award letters.
We can't just point the finger at mom, even though she seems like a cunt. Where is Dad in all this? Where are the grandparents? It's unfair to blame a single person, who obviously never had any structure to begin with.
I know the mistakes my parents made, and I fault them for the stupid ones that affected me personally, but they didn't have the best backgrounds either; it's not unwarranted to just think we have retarded breeders among us who should absolutely get the blame for their mistakes, but at what end? Sorry about the long ass sentence.
>sucked into the vortex
Lol, yeah. It was, and quite frankly it still is. I'm more than 6000 miles away now, far from it's reach.
>Yea, but you guys jumped on OP like a bunch of angry dogs
Not me ... I just bring the truth!
>doesn't owe shit to her mother
If mom is driving her to work, she owes her gas money, at the least.
Well OP one more thing. I am the guy that hates your mother btw.
One the different note. I belive shitty parenting of your mother probably did some nasty things to the way you feel, look at world, other and your emotions are all over the place. You need to realize that and you need to seek understanding with yourself. You need to understand that you probably have deep issues with trust, loving and resposibility.
It will be very important with your future relationships. You need to learn to love yourself and let yourself trust in other THAT ARE WORTH IT. Sad and dangerous part is that emotonally abused people, subconciously seek abuser as their partner, don't do that! Fight with it. Find someone worth yourself. And don't be hard on yourself either. Don't let anyone put you down. Remember to use birth control and have fun with life!
Hey OP, ignore the trolls.
Your mother is wrong to be taking away your things.
A good parent teaches responsibility by using a lump sum of money from their child at the age they choose fit for readying their child for responsibility sometimes.
However, manipulating and spending your child's money FOR them, keeping tabs on how much they have and the likes is actually abuse.
Normal families are welcoming and responsible parents know to not leave your kid with nothing to further themselves. Furthermore, a parent should know to be there for their daughter, no matter the age, when they need help.
Btw your mother sounds like she's probably extorting this extra income from you to gamble or live frivolously without hard work.
If I were you, I would lie to tell her you have less than you do. If she knows your card, switch the pin and say it's the same thing.
Coming from a psychologist. If you have any questions, let me know.
>>17322325
Why would a psychologist tell someone to lie? Inherently making her no better than her mother, and forcing her into the same habits as her mother, and inherently not breaking this obvious cycle.
This is rubbish. Check your degree, or get some ethics. Something.
>>17322325
>keeping tabs on how much they have and the likes is actually abuse.
how is that abuse? taking it for their own gains is different but how is keeping tabs on what a child has abuse?
>If I were you, I would lie to tell her you have less than you do. If she knows your card, switch the pin and say it's the same thing.
would that not risk a confrontation?
You're an adult, this is a valuable life lesson that family won't always be there for you, and eventually you'll need to think of yourself. If the family isn't helping you then you're under no obligation to support them. If they're in need it'd be nice if you did, but it sounds like they're manipulating the situation and you aren't legally required to support their bad habits. All I can say is try your best to leave as soon as you can, get a better paying job and try to save as much as you can without telling them. This may not be the best option but many people have done it, find a boyfriend who will help support you and leech off him until you can go your own way.
>>17322325
This.
Lying in general isn't good, but if she's extorting you for what little you have, regardless of familial relationship or perceived "obligations", it's not as bad to lie to keep what you've earned.
>>17322339
Sometimes when we're in a tough place, we have to do tough things to cut out the people who are hurting us. Especially when it's an abusive one.
>>17322340
This person is their blood, but not a child. A good parent can ask in good heart for a favor in return. Asking an adult to see their bank account and a check is teaching their children their privacy and work doesn't matter and that the adults needs should be coming first.
Yes it would risk confrontation.
>>17322404
>Asking an adult to see their bank account and a check is teaching their children their privacy and work doesn't matter and that the adults needs should be coming first.
again how is this child abuse, if the child wasnt living with the parent then yeah it could be a controlling relationship, but 18 and living in the mothers house is a bit different
as a psychologist wouldnt it be in your interest to protect your client, telling them "you should potentially set off your possibily abusing addict mother" sounds entirely the opposite of what you should be doing
>>17322339
Although "two wrongs don't make a right" might be true in some cases- the amount of things that this mother seems to be doing to their kid isn't as bad as one lie to try to escape a situation that's hurtful. The situation isn't just black and white or about who's "bad or good".
The reason why so many anons are angry here is because they're -actually- projecting. Memes aside.
The kids who were forced out at 16/17 to flip burgers and move out end up saying their parents are owed nothing in expense because all they learned was their existence to their parents was tough "love" and business deals. The truth is their parents were sick of them quickly and didn't want fuck all to do with them.
Realistically, they're probably chaotically over-responsible (yes it's a bad thing often) and are bitter/hardened in unpleasant ways for not being kept close.
This is very much a western idea. In places like Asia, Africa and across many European countries; the family unit is close and doesn't break off until everyone can safely be on their own without dealing with mistakes, debt or even tragedy if possible.
>>17322125
Parents created their kids, so they should do everything they can to fulfill their kids' wants and needs, for they only have those wants and needs because of their parents.
Procreation is a lifelong commitment. A child is for life, not just their first 18 years.
Parents who refuse to support their children should be sent into debt slavery.
>>17322414
I guess 18 and living at home is an abuse free zone.
>>17322185
Just because you endured suffering does not mean everyone should.
The protestant work ethic is diabolical. Revaluate your life. Suffering does not build character. That is a lie told by those holding the whip.
>>17322243
You're right. Blaming shitty parents accomplishes nothing.
They need to pay for their actions. They need to face consequences.
>>17322269
It is entirely unreasonable.
She made her kid. She should pay for its every need and desire. To refuse is monstrous.
>>17322414
My parents looking through my stuff when I was a teenager gave me trust problems that have persisted for decades. It's straight up abuse.
>>17322432
it depends on the situation, but if you are living at home, you are subject to the home owners rules, as you would if you rented an apartment or whatever but obviously the extra trait of family
>>17322436
>Just because you endured suffering does not mean everyone should.
i said hardship, not suffering, hardship teaches you to deal with stress and people you dont like and gears you up for adult live on your own, suffering is the exact opposite
>that is a lie told by those holding the whip.
if you live on your own you are the one holding the whip to make yourself do something about your life, if you havnt endured stress or hardship (or even a job in some cases if people have been coddled) then when you go out into the big wide world you will end up with zero motivation because no one is there to care for you and everyone has different ideas to you
>>17322449
is she refusing? last i checked she (or the government or whatever) was paying for the child to grow up for the last 18 years, how is charging rent unreasonable?
>>17322455
You getting trust problems does not mean that its inherently abuse, a parent watching over what their child does with their stuff is not abuse, if a child was fat and the parents watched what he was eating and what he bought to help him lose weight, that is not abuse
if a parent ends up forcing the child to do something with that information (that is not in the interest of the childs wellbeing) then that is where it becomes abuse
>>17322449
No, this is wrong. A good parent shows their kid how to help others and be safe on their own.
>>17322470
Your child lives with you, not understanding someone needs their own privacy sometimes, or with certain things is not a healthy mind frame in the least.
>>17322487
>not understanding someone needs their own privacy sometimes
watching thier bank account is not a complete breach of privacy, and i only support it on the basis that there is reason to watch the account (for example if the child refuses to pay rent and says he has no income, or in my previous example is overweight and might be going out buying food in secret)
its not like the parent is keeping locks off all the doors and giving them a curfew, of course that would be a massive breach of privacy
>>17322470
Hardship entails suffering.
If you live on your own and must support yourself then your parents are not fulfilling their responsibility to you, and ideally you would be able to sue them for support.
It matters not that her mother paid for her for 18 years. She has a lifelong obligation. It does not end when her kid reaches 18, or 21, or any other magic number. Her kid does not stop needing food and shelter at that age.
I realise that most people are callous, narcissistic, selfish psychopaths who do not want to abide by these rules. But, as the saying goes: if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
>>17322455
That's because it's negative behavior. Everyone needs their space. I'm psychology guy and I've seen narcoleptics who talked about their parents losing it at them because of one "B" grade with almost a board of "A" in school binders because their parents thought their home was a kingdom where respect didn't matter because they paid the bills.
The problem here is, parents NEED to teach their parents help. A lot of tough-guys in this thread are the kinds who grew up without any; so they're obviously guilt free and don't ever need help. Everything is like a trade in business interaction. Help is BAD and people souls never be given things because that makes them lazy and sad. Especially when they're 18. This is discountable behavior though. It's truly only negative to a growing young adult or child, because they don't learn compassion in the same way normal people do.
Just lock your account and give your mom a lump sum every month saying "this is what I can afford".
There's no use staying with someone who's effectively trapping you by taking your money when you want to leave. Even the anons who think you should owe your parents all your money can acknowledge this.
If your mom really wanted you to be out on your own, being a strong individual; she wouldn't be taking your means to do this. It's that simple.
Gotta get back to work now guys; cheers!
>>17322487
There is no such thing as a good parent. Creating a child is murdering them, for everyone dies in the end.
The less bad parents realise the cruel act they performed by giving birth, and endeavor to make the child's life as comfortable as possible.
The more bad parents simply neglect this responsibility and insist that their child, thrust unwillingly into this world, must toil and labor to fulfill needs that they did not consent to having.
Breeding is a selfish, cruel, inhuman act.
>>17322492
>Hardship entails suffering.
having to shift priorities to meet a deadline for work or even have different hours for a job is hardship, if you think that is suffering then you have been coddled your entire life
>If you live on your own and must support yourself then your parents are not fulfilling their responsibility to you, and ideally you would be able to sue them for support.
hold the fuck up, if i opt to leave my parents house to be independent? my parents should still support me?
do you know what independent means? is this bait?
>Her kid does not stop needing food and shelter at that age.
her kid is not entitled to mooching off her parents their entire lives, the point of parenthood is to raise a child that will ultimately become independent
what if the child has a child, can the grantparent get sued for not supporting the parent to support the child?
>But, as the saying goes: if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
this is absolutely fine if the child is a child, but an 18 year old is not a child
>>17322502
3edgy5me
>>17322502
Wow, that's actually very interesting albeit strange and extreme philosophical stand. Don't mind if I will use it in my writing.
>>17322504
Nothing I said was bait, in either post. I have strong convictions, too strong for some to stomach. I shall never breed.
Even if you're living independently, you still need to eat. Your parents cause you to have that need, so it is on them to ensure you have enough food.
In the case of grandchildren, the children should sue their parents, who should in turn sue the grandparents.
Your children are still your children after they turn 18. Your responsibility to them does not end.
>>17322513
It's antinatalism, or at least my own take on it, compiled together from the thoughts of people much smarter than me. You might find it interesting to read about, even if you completely disagree with it.
>>17322504
I got the impression earlier that anon here you're replying to is basically saying parents should support kids from birth to death, and there is really nothing to be said to change this way of thinking. It's ingrained far too deep to bother.
I'm with you on all you've said. There seems to be a fundamental disconnect on when to stop supporting adults financially, and they aren't taking into account it does not matter what the Mom of this discussion does with the money, as she is providing a home, a car, and gas.
Most of this thread is has been pro-entitlement/coddling and it's alarmingly so. There seems to be no focus on responsibility and independence.
>>17322516
Oops, that should be
>your parents causeD you to have that need
>>17322526
I'm the anon the anon you're replying to was replying to.
To me, when parents talk of their child needing to take responsibility or be independent, I read it as those parents becoming bored of the shiny toy that is their child, and wanting to get rid of it.
We look down on people who abandon pet animals at any age. We should apply the same logic to people who abandon their children.
>>17322527
It's called the human condition. We as a species reproduce, our ultimate goal as a species is to produce genes and send them off to carry on our line. By your logic, I should be supporting not just my future children, but their children, and their children, and their children, to no end.
Good luck with that.
>>17322516
>nothing i said was bait
>parents are the reason you are alive and they should support you until the day you die
what if they die before you anon, how can you sue a corpse?
what if thier parents die? how can you sue them if they cant sue their own parents which in turn sue thier parents?
>>17322516
>In the case of grandchildren, the children should sue their parents, who should in turn sue the grandparents.
I'm the original empathy poster that, my last post was: >>17322308
and although at first I was happy to see someone with similar point, this one is too extreme even for me.
Sure parents have resposibility but alowing parents (full adults) to sue grandparents is a bit too far into the ideal never realistical land. Life will never be perfect and trying to make it so will only breed more problems. On top of that despite my great empathy for all children and understanding for their problems, there are some people that are fucked on their own and often despite the best intentions of their loving parents. Alowing them to sue their parents for being unable to stop their fuck ups is just stupid.
>I shall never breed.
Well, then you have strong problems yourself. And to be honest with that stance you are showing yourself as someone whose arguments should NOT be followed since it would most likely lead to extinction of our race.
Noone is perfect and no parent is perfect. The key is to be "good enough", loving and caring. You don't need to be some super uber man.
And on side note. You are the guy that claims to be psychologist?
>>17322525
Thanks, any particular authors you recommend?
>>17322538
I totally agree that parents should be nurturing, but part of that process is to teach independence, and sometimes that is the hardest to teach because of the condoned coddling being spoken about in this thread.
It's not too much to ask for gas money or rent when an adult-child of 18 is living in your home, and it does not matter what that money goes toward if the parent has provided shelter.
>>17322543
No, the psychologist was a different anon.
I see no problem with the human race going extinct.
>>17322540
Yes, parental death does represent a problem, and so the only responsible thing to do is not to breed.
>>17322539
Are we to be slaves to our genes?
>>17322563
>Are we to be slaves to our genes?
What you're proposing in the end is the extermination of the human race, you do realize that is ultimately where your process leads, right?
>>17322553
I'd suggest browsing the antinatalism subplebbit. They seem to rate David Benatar highly, but I haven't read any of his work.
>>17322563
>i see no problem with the human race going extinct
well, on the upside we won't have to see your shitposting again
>>17322568
Yes. What is the problem with that?
>>17322556
Already dealt with. You got bored of your child and now don't want to pay for it any more. Or perhaps you just had a child without thinking, because 'that's what people do', and you've never questioned the life-script.
Psychologist here. I'm on break.
Again; both sides are correct in these arguments - but extreme ideals in these situations, like anything else, are negative traits.
>YES, You should always try to be available to help your child.
However
>you should teach your child to get things without help.
Doing both of these creates a healthy balance that breeds success and compassion.
Back to the topic of the post; I think both sides need to understand that:
>OP is not coddled, as they are effectively trapped by their parent. Stripped of a way out which they are searching for.
And
>OP cannot have responsibilities if money is -taken away-. We choose our own responsibilities as an adult
We choose our own costs, bills, jobs, friendships, partners and risks.
If the mother removes all money to get these things to use for herself, she is not allowing their kid a life.
It's the exact opposite of kicking your child out as a 16 year old. It's leeching off a young adult.
I was trying to argue points which I seem valid, lurked a bit, came back to race extermination and nutter butters, and I'm not interested in jumping down rabbit holes. Law student out.
Thanks for the chat, you all.
>>17322586
Before you go, what's a nutter butter?
>>17322580
Actually, I was a 14 year old, as stated previously, who had drug-riddled parents and had to maintain a job, school and the likes and moved out when I was 17, only to find myself in Law school.
When I do have kids, it'll be when I can give them a better life and hopefully break the cycle I was thrust into myself. But you can play extermination games and pretend you know more about me than you do, it's all the same nonsense in my eyes.
>>17322588
>nutter butter
Anyone nose-diving into this "antinatalism" nonsense, although not politically correct, is a nutter butter to me. RL, it's just a peanut butter/cracker snack.
>>17322594
I was using the impersonal 'you'. But, since you've kindly told me your life story:
Just think of what you could have achieved had your parents fulfilled their responsibilities to you. Had you not been handicapped and hamstrung by their selfishness.
Sue them and make the world a more just place.
>>17322622
Can you actually sue people for doing things like this?
Examples?
>>17322630
I'm not sure if it has ever been done. In a just society, it would not be done, but only because nobody would have children.
I'm pretty sure it would fail in our world. If would-be parents knew that they would have to take responsibility for their children, then they might not have them, and then there would be fewer debt slaves for the system!
>>17322622
>Sue them and make the world a more just place.
Lol, and take their trailer in Mississippi?
It would cost more filing the documents than that shit will ever be worth.
I've forgiven my parents and moved on with my life. Nothing they did or did not do has any hold over me anymore.
>>17322630
Yes, you can sue your parents for some of the things listed in this thread. It's not common but it's possible, but there are still statutes of limitations that you must adhere to, like any other law.
>>17322650
>>17322630
Also, suing your parents for said reasons would simply fall under negligence lawsuits, and only require 4 elements to prove.
>>17322637
This is such an intriguing way of thought; albeit extreme.
I don't agree you should do everything for a child; because like birds - a kid will develop and leave the best.
But I genuinely agree that more parents need to take responsibility for having a child and not just doing it bevause a baby is on their to-do-in-life checklist
>>17322661
Kids these days are raised more by money than people. Sometimes it's not even that much money, which makes it all the more sad.
I don't know if it's the generation that preceded us that were just generally awful people, and have created this, or if it's been this way for a long, long time.
>>17322669
Money makes people think that all problems go away. Even if that is their own flesh and blood.
