Want self time, but still longing for meaningful contact

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Anonymous
Want self time, but still longing for meaningful contact 2016-07-03 13:19:18 Post No. 17319168
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Want self time, but still longing for meaningful contact Anonymous 2016-07-03 13:19:18 Post No. 17319168 [Report]

Wanting to have "me-time", but still longing for companionship?

4 months ago, my ex (first girlfriend) broke up with me. In the meantime, I've improved and developed myself in a lot of ways: travelling, publishing a scientific article, sports, finishing my Master's, music, etc. It's been going okay since then, however, I'm still not really over it. Maybe I'll never be.

That's not really the point here, but since then I've ran into some girl I thought nice at first, but they all flunked out for whatever reason when it came to the point we already talked nice and picked a date. 1st girl just "forgot" we had a date and planned something else instead, only to tell me a couple hours beforehand. 2nd girl randomly stated that length actually was quite important to her (even though we only differed 4cm) and I just blew her off. 3rd girl I am talking to plans on going to a psychologist because she has low self-esteem.

Now, all these girls are all very different from my ex which is okay, but I've noticed that I'm just fed up with women at this point and wanting to really do what I want do to, and to decide that for myself. At the same time, I keep longing for this sense of companionship, someone who is there for you and you can be with.

Is this weird? What can I do in order to set things straight for myself?

Pic kind of related: I always really enjoyed travelling on my own.

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Anonymous 2016-07-03 14:55:10 Post No.17319313
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Anonymous 2016-07-03 14:55:10 Post No.17319313 [Report]

Make friends sounds like the easiest solution. If it happens to be a girl maybe that could someday turn into a relationship. Or you could have one night stands.

On a side note regarding your "improvement", it's well & good you're traveling & such, but you also need to work on yourself mentally. Read self help books that will build up your confidence & learn to be content & happy with yourself. You need to get over your ex before you even think about getting with anyone else.

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Anonymous 2016-07-03 15:03:09 Post No.17319330
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Anonymous 2016-07-03 15:03:09 Post No.17319330 [Report]

>>17319313
Thanks for your advice. Mentally, I feel like I have grown a lot, though. I've taken long walks on my own, am reading The Power of Now on and off which helps, practicing zen meditation every couple of days and have taken some online classes on self improvement. However, I feel like I am not there yet. Do you have any suggestions for books?

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Anonymous 2016-07-03 15:18:40 Post No.17319360
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Anonymous 2016-07-03 15:18:40 Post No.17319360 [Report]

>>17319330
No suggestions, sorry.
That's great then. You playing sports can help greatly with confidence as well. Youre on the right track. Your breakup happened only 4 months ago so don't worry too much about feeling how you are right now. Continue doing you and having fun. Make more friends, be approachable, and friendly. Pretty soon you'll find a girl.

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Anonymous 2016-07-03 15:25:19 Post No.17319380
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Anonymous 2016-07-03 15:25:19 Post No.17319380 [Report]

>>17319360
No problem!

I actually participated in an obstacle run one and a half week ago and I actually injured myself again, for like, the first time in god knows how much. And I was proud of myself that I still completed the challenge (with my friends), which I would not have done a couple of years ago, probably.

Thank you for your kind words, I guess I will have to rely on myself that, in time, no matter how long it takes, I will be more than I was a year ago.