sick
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I'm alone, and I don't feel like anyone has ever really cared about me. Nobody checks in to see if I'm still on the upswing from my last episode, nobody asks if I'm still making ends meet, and nobody asks if I would like to see another human being on a friendly non-contractual basis.
I have had parents, grandparents, lovers, friends, and therapists who said they loved me. However, nobody takes an interest. I assume this is because I broke the contract each of us had. The family disregarded me when I became sick, because they felt responsible and at the same time unsympathetic. The lovers left because after all of the bullshit I became bitter and couldn't promise eternity to them. The friends...well, the fact they are not here means I never had them. The therapists, well they are paid to care.
Is my idea of people caring about one another through life's struggles old fashioned? Should I just be happy that I can form contractual relationships? I would hate to think that every "how are you" of the past was self-motivated, or that I am too despicable to care about.
>>17316321
Do you ever reach out to anyone else?
If you never initiate contact, even a "What's new?" phone call, people will conclude that YOU don't like THEM, and they'll respect your privacy by leaving you alone.
It seems like you push everyone away. You appear to be the type who constantly needs other people to rescue you while never giving a thought to how your neediness drained others. No one is responsible for your happiness but yourself, and wallowing in self-pity does nothing.
If your personality was pleasant and good to be around, these people would still be trying to help you.
>>17316401
I don't know how to break the cycle and be calm/healthy for the next person I meet.
>>17316443
Meet someone who doesn't give a fuck if you're calm or healthy.
I'm one of em. That's why i'm here replying to you, after all.
>>17316321
>s my idea of people caring about one another through life's struggles old fashioned?
Probably. I'm with you though. Once I'm friends with someone, that's for life or until they force me out. That actually just happened recently: someone said we're friends, but they replied to my texts more slowly and rarely, and now not at all.
Pisses me off that most people are so fickle. I feel like a fool, like a dog who doesn't realize his master doesn't want him anymore.
The funny thing is that these people aren't even self-interested. If they were, they'd realize the value of a loyal friend who can forgive and forget anything.
>I would hate to think that every "how are you" of the past was self-motivated
It wasn't. They were just making conversation. If it was self-motivated, they wouldn't have abandoned the friendship: they'd know how valuable a loyal friend is. Especially one who doesn't have any other friends.
>or that I am too despicable to care about.
That's probably the case, honestly. Don't feel too bad about it, many of us are in the same boat.
We're unlikable. That's just how it is. We have 2 choices: pretend to be someone else, or be our unlikable selves.
I choose the second. Most people can't stand me, but at the end of the day, I can look myself in the mirror, and that's more important.
>>17316321
>>17316321
It's been said in this thread, and it's true. Any relationship is a two way street. If you isolate yourself, your contacts and friends will assume that you want to be left alone, or that you're not interested in them. You seem to have a good amount of self realization here, you know that it's an unspoken contract. Are you reaching out to your circle of contacts? Are you supportive of them?
In this internet age, contacts and friends are made and lost quickly. The ones you want to keep need work and attention.
I always say this on /adv/ but to meet interesting people you have to be interesting yourself. join a real life book club, get a dog and walk it where others do the same, volunteer somewhere for anything at all, just get out there. We get self esteem and confidence from accomplishing things and helping others. if you're a sponge of others' attention and concern you'll soon find yourself alone. Except for your therapist, who is paid to care.
You write very well. Do something with that.
