When we broke up with my gf 5 years ago we told each other that we could every now and then have some contact to ask how we are doing. We broke up in good relations and there was no drama etc.
Well, so far i have been taken the iniative and asked how she is doing. She never takes the iniative.
This is ok. but does this mean she don't want to be in contact at all?
ps. im devastated by the fact that after so many years (11years) i just lost a person from my life. We were very close and had a deep friendship on the basis. It feels like a funreal. Even though we say Hellos 0-1 times in a year on facebook, i dont know whats up with her and her life. I also broke up with my recent gf last year and we have no contact. I quess im over sensitive, but i am deeply devastated by losing a person from my life like this. I dont know what to do with this thing. Perhaps i should become stronger or something.
she probably is busy finding someone else or with work, or family. it doesn't really matter what her excuse is. there's a reason you go no contact: so both parties can move on and not have to deal with petty drama like this.
stop putting your energy & time into this. it doesn't matter if you were friends before because you aren't now. put that energy into something useful.
Maybe they're on their hunt for the new person that will make all of this bullshit worth it. Maybe you're better for recognizing the value of friendship. Maybe they have more friends than you.
Anyway, try learning to deeply befriend men and women you don't want to have sex with. I struggle to do this myself...
Pretending someone is not in your sentiments or concerns anymore, even though you loved them, is just one great aspect of the cold modern world. It's also part of the growing difficulty for people to get along without an ideological conflict.
Unfortunately sexual relationships are these huge loaded things in our society, so that having sex with someone you actually like as a person can be shitting where you eat.
>>17316349
>>17316352
mmm, yeah well even if they were in a search of a new its not so hectic they couldn't change a few messages with me. The otherone is in a relationship, the other one probably is just fucing around and dating. Which is fine.
I quess i have to learn deeply befriending then. but how the fuck it is done?
I am getting out of a 10 year relationship and I don't know what to do. It is getting really hard for me to move on. I don't know how to distract myself or meet new people. As I girl I can tell you she doesn't speak with you because she doesn't want to keep in touch or you did something awful to her and she is hurt
>>17316419
wow, how are you coping? As a girl it is easier to find men if you are into that.
moving on is really hard for me as well. This previous relationship, what came shortly after, was kind of a rebound for me even though my feels for the new girl were genuine. I know it sounds retarted. Well, my first love of 11years haunted me almost the whole time in the relationship. Now when we broke up ( in good manners) i still find myself longing for the first relationship of mine.
The girl herself said we can still keep contact on facebook etc and i didnt do anything awful for her. Well, i quess it is awful to break up but there was no additional drama. Therefore, im puzzled by her reluctance to keep in touch with me. Im actually so fucking sad by this. I would like to send her a message now and ask how she is doing, but i have a feeling she is not interested in contact with me even she told so.
>>17316496
I am not dealing with it properly, we still live together so it makes it worst. It is really complicated. I tried to walk more and stuffs and I am trying to meet new people but honestly I don't k ow who people do it!!
Did you break up with her? If yes, maybe she is still hurt you did. If not, maybe she doesn't really want to keep contact and she is being polite.
