College Essay
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hey everyone,
I'm working on my college essay for Juilliard and I was wondering if I could get some feedback.
Im not quite finished yet.
Thesis: To what force or entity can be attributed as the source of my artistic projects? The answer is simple: to everything that is not me. In short, I am not a creator, I am a channel
I am an artist. I make things. I build things. I play things. I put things together. I bow strings and I breath out air in forms creating notes and patterns. The one thing that I seem to be, as an artist, unable to do is creating. Creating a vision or a sight or a wave of emotion or a trickle of thought. Having realized this proclamation to be true, I must ask myself; what force or entity can be attributed as the source of my artistic projects? The answer is simple: to everything that is not me. I, as an artist, am not a creator; I am simply a channel through which flows a stream of feelings, thoughts, and emotions with which I build a physical construct of that which cannot be shown without. In short, I am a channel, not a creator.
Art is a rendition of thoughts or emotions that cannot be expressed simply through words. Through art, we as people are able to understand and interpret ideas which we could not without. The artist, however, does not create these thoughts, these emotions; he simply receives them. These emotions come from outside forces which act upon your mind, allowing you to feel differently about a thing or situation. In order to create, the artist uses himself as a channel for these feelings, allowing them to come to him and be externalized freely.
I don't know what I'm supposed to be reading.
>>17315778
The bottom two paragraphs
>>17315779
No, you misunderstand me. What are they supposed to be?
>>17315782
It is a college application essay in which I am supposed to further the point that an artist is not a creator, but a channel for art to flow through.
Seems a bit convoluted, cliche, and confusing. However I'm a simple man when it comes to writing.
A few things that throw me off. The very first string of sentences is very cliche and you exploit it far too much. Maybe limit the number of short sentences. The message that as an artist you do not create but instead express an abstract collection of ideas and emotions is very clear, and in a way, unique. To me though, it comes off as VERY contrarian and it kind of distracts from your own identity and personality. It comes off as a little conceded.
A few questions for you. What do you want the people who are going to read this to think and feel? Is this how you normally express yourself when talking or is it more "dressed up"?
>>17315797
Debatable. The Seattle aet museum had a snow shovel on the ceiling and laid some guy $10,000 to "create" that art. There was no channeling. He went and bought a snow shovel.
>>17315817
Well the thing you have to think about is, is that really art? I don't think so. Unless you are conveying something inside of you, I wouldn't look at it as art.
>>17315822
Not that anon, but just because you don't consider it art, doesn't mean it isn't to someone else.
>>17315815
I can see it being convoluted, but that is slightly what I'm going for.
I don't talk like this in a casual conversation with my friends, but if a friend or teacher or anyone asked me to tell them how I feel about some philosophical matter, this type of language is what I would use to respond. It is true to my speaking style.
>>17315825
Well that would involve a whole different, more complex debate: the definition of art. What I am going off of in my previous statement about the snow shovel is my own personal definition of art.
>>17315826
Alright I dissected it to show explicitly what I got hung up on. I don't think being verbose is bad, but convoluted is not helpful in expressing yourself. Whenever I write I think to myself "can I say the same thing in fewer words?". This usually gets your message across faster, keeps the reader attentive, and most importantly helps your reader remember after the fact.
I'm a mathematics major though so I could be talking out of my ass.
>>17315836
Thank you, it is very much appreciated. Pretty much all of your comments make sense.
So I took a dump. To me, it symbolizes effort incarnate. Not only the effort of which to produce it, but the effort my body goes through to create it. It's akin to that of a gold bar getting dug out of one of my earthly dirt pits. It's beautiful, and I'm proud to have created this masterpiece all by myself.
Now like, comment, subscribe to my patreon, donate to my youtube, put your dick in the toaster, fund my kickstupid so I can make my autobiography and art 101 film, and rate, comment, and subscrieb.
>>17315773
I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't care for this essay at all.
It's moreless a fluffer about the creation from an artist, neglecting the real meaning of why music is created.
As in; I can create songs all day based upon my experiences and how I draw from that, and my understanding of music, but all of that is meaningless if it doesn't inspire or rattle something inside another that provides a different perspective or meaning than they are accustomed to...
You need to make this about how you trigger emotions in someone else and remove all this fluff. It is all fluff and you know it, you're applying to Julliard and this shit will get file 13'd so fast.
>>17315882
I can see your point, but I would have to disagree with you. Obviously it is not finished/refined yet (as I stated in the op).
As far as referring to the vocabulary as "fluffer" I would have to disagree with you once again. Listen to or read works from any known philosophers or writers (Buckley, Ram Dass, Rilke, Nietzsche, even writers like Ginsberg) and you will find that they use quite similar ways of speaking/writing. I have a feeling that you are following on with the trend of criticizing any writing using jargon or "big words" that doesn't come from a famous writer.
The point of the essay (the thesis provided by Juilliard) is not to explore the purpose of creating music. The purpose is to further the point that an artist is not a creator, he is a channel.
>>17315889
If it's all about you, then why bother? There's no reason to channel anything if your essay clearly does not state what is being channeled and/or the potential interpretation for such a "channeling."
You go ahead write that essay just like you're trying to do now.
Good luck!
I know one person I won't have to look at this Fall.
>>17315905
lmao of course you go to Juilliard, you try-hard, "i know the true meaning of art," false patrician.
Then again, if you cant understand how to write an essay based on a clearly stated thesis, who knows if you actually got in?
I think you may have missed the several sections where I did state what is being channeled.
Enjoy your life of being a rejected composer, clinging to the idea of "the only reason my music doesn't get played is because people don't understand my art"
If you had a piece commissioned for a specific purpose, would you tell the person paying you "I don't really think you understand what you're asking me for?" No, you wouldn't
>>17315905
I guess somebody has rich parents
>>17315912
>I am an artist. I make things. I build things. I play things. I put things together. I bow strings and I breath out air in forms creating notes and patterns. The one thing that I seem to be, as an artist, unable to do is creating.
You're right. I don't know what is being channeled because you're just channeling "things."
Nah, you're not channeling emotions, experiences, fantasies, or anything worth mentioning, just "things." You aren't a creator, you just channel "things."
You make things, build things, put things together, but you're not a creator. Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp. Derp Derp. Derp Derp.
As I said, good luck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYwWuqhz-zw
>>17315912
>false patrician.
Prime example of why the arts are bullshit: everyone thinks they have the right idea, and nobody can tolerate being told their idea is shit.
OP should give up before they come back to /adv/ bitching about their rejection. Learn a trade or something. Be useful.
