My ex boyfriend killed himself almost 10 months ago. I suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD before then but ever since my urge to socialize has almost completely diminished and my excitement for life has pretty much vanished. I'm planning on getting a new place with my current boyfriends and waiting to go back to school in the fall and hoping that will give my life meaning again, but I am worried I am going to feel like this forever. I literally have no interest in meeting new human beings because I feel as if they can't understand what I'm going through and like everything I have done the last 9 months. I don't have fun, I'm just going through the motions. Everything just feels like it's on mute. I even lost interest in drinking because the knowledge that he is dead never leaves me and in fact intensifies when I am intoxicated. Will this ever go away? What can I do to make myself feel alive again?
*boyfriend, not plural
>>17315468
Maybe you shouldn't even be in a relationship since it sounds you're struggling emotionally. Are you keeping your current bf just not to be lonely?
>>17315468
See a shrink. Most schools offer free help and you're suffering from depression and possibly ptsd. You need the help, no shame in admitting it and asking for help.
I am trying to get help via Medicaid because no insurance, but yea otherwise have to wait for school to get therapy. It's hard to say whether or not I should be in a relationship right now desu but my boyfriend is one of the only people I can actually tolerate being around without wanting to scream
>>17315490
Don't break up with him. Depression makes you want to isolate yourself further, but isolation only makes it worse. Hang in there until school starts, then get help.
Try to spend time with others too. I know it sucks, but do it anyway. Fake smiling, let them talk. Gets you out of your head, which is helpful.
>>17315468
There's some expectations you can't live with, and some that you can. You can go every day, expecting to wake up in general even as you grow older it's odd to die young and in at least decent health out of nowhere.
You can't expect anything to make you feel the same way as before your ex offed themselves. You can't expect to ever truly feel right, and you have to realize that feeling may possibly persist with you for a long time.
When you manage your expectations to be realistic and present them to yourself in such a way that you will be able to react to certain events and emotions better, because you don't expect the same thing. You can only manage your reaction, not the outcome, and that too must be accepted.
I'm sorry for your circumstance, but it's up to you to manage what has happened to your life. I feel the same way often, and although my circumstances are different, I too feel an indifference to things I had once enjoyed.
Shrinks only help if you can truly trust and believe in them, just like any other solution. There's nothing special about them other than a degree and their ability to give you medication to temporarily alleviate symptoms if you direly need to function instead of recover as fast as possible.
a degree and a prescription can go a long way, but I agree there are a lot of shittttty therapists out there. I have just felt more isolated than ever and like all I want to do is laze around on the internet and play videogames and that's exactly what my ex did all day every day and he was very depressed because of it. I'm afraid I'm going to get like that but I have no will to stop doing that right now. I just want the summer to be over.
what upsets me is that I don't feel like spending time with my really good friends because I am tired of always being that person that bad shit happens to. I know I am the one who is still alive and I should be grateful and blah blah blah but I literally feel like my life is one big tragedy and I'm worn the fuck out from grieving and pulling myself up by the bootstraps time and time again and I am fucking angry that he is gone and everyone just expects me to go on with my life like nothing happened literally not even 3 months afterwards people stopped bothering to check in with me and I'm just supposed to behave like a normal person now. It's fucked and everything is fucked people are fucked we never understand what each other is going through and we just assume that everything's alright unless it's happening to us
like just because I haven't fallen into a physically apparent slump doesn't mean I am OK just because I have dealt with grief and loss my whole life does not mean I am tough just because I live in another state does not mean the pain just went away
meanwhile my family has offered NO support as per usual and I feel like I am fighting some fucking dark force that I am never going to be able to win against. It's like no matter what I do some fucking godawful shit goes down like once every 6 months.
Kinda disrespectful to your old boyfriend to get someone new so quick
umm I was already dating my old boyfriend when he committed suicide we have been together for a year and a half -____-
*current. Fuck.
thanks for that there moral check though really necessary where would I be without you
>>17315486
> this
You need to speak to someone qualified to give out help for this sort of thing
God Bless you kiddo, errthing gonna be ok. Give it time....
Picture unrelated
lol thanks for the Scooby Doo
