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pic unrelated
originally wrote this out for a friend that's good at blunt advice, but he's not on right now.
Honest question: How do you learn to not give a fuck about little things and shit that happened in the past? I'm realizing that the majority of shit in my life that stresses me out is little petty shit that i care about way too much, especially on the internet (but applies just as much in real life). I know that on the internet shit that i dont agree with or bothers me, i shouldnt give a fuck about, because its, you know, the internet, i can do whatever the hell i want. yet i have a compulsive stress response for almost everything bothersome i see, even if i dont want to give a shit about it, ill just keep thinking about it, and ill think about it occassionally for days or even weeks, and sometimes everyday for years about certain people. for example, i may have to talk to myself for a good 5 minutes about why i shouldnt give a fuck about something if i so much as see some guy being a jackass about a thing i like on the internet, but it still pops in my head days or even weeks later. then there's a bunch of shit of people i had bad encounters with on a site a used to forumfag on from all the way far back as early as 2014 that im still thinking of multiple times literally every day, even though i dont want to, and acknowledge that the people that i had bad encounters with are pieces of shit that aren't relevant to my life. yet so much as watching or playing something i enjoy, my mind will latch on the shitty person's name to that object im enjoying, and BAM, i think about them every fucking time i see that object.
>>17315286
so much as thinking about their name or a phrase they said to me triggers stress involuntarily, as well as so much as thinking, saying, or hearing a word that my mind has associated with their name or just a thing or concept that my mind has associated negative thoughts with due to 1 random shitty association my mind made that latched on (and very often, that 1st thought does latch on like fucking cigarettes). I think that if i continue to demean them in my mind (i started doing this recently, i think its helping), ill eventually not give a fuck about their well being, and my extension, not give a shit about them and forget about them, and hopefully have thinking about their names not trigger stress. Will learning to not give a fuck about them, and eventually, every little thing (or vice versa) cure this? and what other advice if any do you have to cure or just treated this fucked psychological complex (if thats the right word)?
last bump
>>17315286
Stress is nothing more than our built-in in "fight or flight" system. Understand that.
The petty things you stress over are nothing more than indicators of usually deeper problems you may not even be aware of. What do you read that stresses you? Why does it stress you? How can you prevent it from stressing you?
The fact of the matter, when weighing stress, if whatever you are stressing about does not directly effect your livelihood, state of being, or life, then you need to tell yourself that.
You have real reason to stress if you are face to face with a Lion, a Tiger, or a Shark.
You don't have reason to stress over anything that doesn't not directly affect you now or in the near future.
>>17315286
Nigga go meditate. Stop letting those negative thoughts run your life.
Reflecting and learning from the past is fine, but continue living in the present.
I used to be the same way as you. Until I went away for college and learned that the past doesnt matter. Then I learned that I am doing better than 80% of my graduating class. Shit all the bullying in high school has done nothing but make me a better person.
Work on improving yourself. Fuck everyone else, they will only hold you back. There is no need to demean anyone, no need to use your words. Once you become successful in your own endeavors, that success will do all of the talking.
Go live life. Grab your nuts, and do it!
>>17315419
The bullying i experienced, both on and offline, mostly did only bad things for me, but im glad it helped you.
demeaning them has helped me a decent amount on the contrary. are you moreso implying that they aren't worth my energy, and that i should put all that energy into improving myself? that i moreso agree with, but i think its okay to put some energy into reminding myself that theyre not worth my time by demeaning them, but not to the point that it detracts from improving myself.
another thing that came to mind is (and another reason im attempting demeaning) is that i feel on some level, i want their approval but will never have it, despite the fact that i know their "approval" is irrelevant to my life. i dont need the approval of a bunch of heartless cunts.
