Daddy Issues
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
God damnit /adv/ I'm glad none of you have my father. Normally i'd never think of posting about something my parent has done to make my life living hell as it's to expect nowadays but currently i'm 18 and going into senior year of highschool ( I got held back in 4th grade ) and I moved out of my mom's to live with my dad for the last year of highschool. It's all been nothing but bizarre and rough as shit for the wrong reasons, he's legit psychotic and would smash a cup against your head for back talk, which explains his 5 divorces, some other things about him are
>Incredibly rough ex marine guy who also used to give orders
>Incredibly bipolar and would never accept he was wrong
>Absolutely frightening
But the thing is he's my dad regardless and I love him so i've always over looked this, its what I was born into but it was only until recently that he found out my life dream to draw, to be an artist and make a comic one day. I know it's a childish dream but I put in months of practice to finally be able to draw good enough to make a small summer project. But heres my conflict, my father literally gets mad anytime I touch my computer or start drawing because he doesn't consider it manly or productive. He gets mad and wishes I was playing sports or hanging out with a bunch of dudes at night doing drugs (explained like that)
and he absolutely forbids me from going to an art school which is what would be ideal for me but he wants me to become a doctor. I'm currently on the computer only because he designated a little over an hour im allowed to be on the computer otherwise im addicted to my
>screen
I'm in deep depression and cant even enjoy my hobby to draw let alone make a comic, I feel like my dreams have no future. I just want to move out after highschool but I have no funds.
I've thought about suicide because then no struggle but im so young. No friends from always moving. I needed to get this out somewhere.
Is moving back in with your mother in the equation
>>17315203
No since shes moving to canada with her bf. And shed be pissed that I wanna go back after a month with my dad
>>17315187
I'm gonna be honest, your dad is mostly right. However THAT SAID your failure as a man is a big part his failure as a father.
get a fucking job, apply for art school, get FAFSA money, move to Europe if you can't pay it back. My family kicked me out when I was 17 and I have never looked back, we are still cordial but I'm not allowed to stay in the family home and you know what? It's not that big of a deal. Your dad will get over it. Or he won't. It's your life. Don't rely on him.
>>17315254
I know hes right but its too extreme 24/7 and its kinda shitty to whip your son to be what you couldnt be
>>17315263
Yeah im looking into getting a job next week im hoping itll show that im taking steps to show im preparing for the real world
>>17315187
>forbids me from going to an art school which is what would be ideal for me but he wants me to become a doctor.
he has the right idea. Keep art as a hobby and become a doctor so you don't end up as a penniless loser.
>>17315274
I work with a dude who grew up with a dad like this at least through the childhood years and yeah like I said basically comes down to a big part his failure as a father. I mean there's nothing you can do about it.
If I was in your position I would tell him that you're willing to do it, but only if do it together. You gotta understand that your dad probably thinks you're a pussy and he's probably right, but if he's not willing to get involved with you directly then he's not only a shitty dad but probably a pussy as well
Either way, use self reflection to find the merit in the values he's trying to teach, and wisdom on how you could compromise to (a) have a decent father/son relationship (b) diversify your practical skillset
>>17315295
I know doctor is better ideally but I dont want to go to school for many years to do something im not into. Im no genius and cant handle gore/blood. Ive considered being a detective/forensic scientist though.
>>17315307
You don't have to be a genius to become a doctor but it's hard work. You could try blue collar work though, that's masculine and well-paying.
>detective/forensic scientist
or that. Art is fun but it will get you nowhere though
>>17315307
There's hundreds of different specialties you can go in as a doctor, and even trauma doctors probably don't see nearly as much gore on a regular basis as anyone in forensics.
The amount of gore/blood you see as a physician in a hospital is pretty limited even in the ER. You can be a resident radiologist and then move to outpatient imaging and MAYBE might catch a glimpse of something that needs a bandaid
>>17315324
>>17315313
Yeah I suppose, I'll keep that all in mind.
It's just I have such a passion for making comics but I could possibly do one someday while im trying to get a job thats more practical
>>17315330
Passion turns to hatred when it becomes a job that doesn't turn out the way you glamourized it. And you're only 18, it's clear that you haven't been exposed to much. The other anon is right, passions should stay as hobbies. Nothing wrong with taking classes for it but actively trying to make a career out of it is just silly at this point. I'm not completely saying you shouldn't go for it, but chances are you're gonna find something that suits you more in the ebb and flow of time
