What's the trick to making friends? Also, if you can answer that, here's a bonus question. How does one maintain friends if they aren't an initiator, as in, never the one to call, text first, go places with intent to invite people, etc.
>>17314861
I'm assuming you're not in highschool because you're posting on this website which is clearly 18+
After leaving highschool and entering the "real world" you no longer make what we used to call "friends" As you get older, get a girlfriend, a job, responsibilities. Our social relationships turn into "work acquaintances". Your social interactions you'll find are much different than how you remember them from highschool.
>>17314871
Nah, out of high school, kind of dropped out of college I guess, but I wasn't REALLY going to begin with. I'm just working now.
Bearing that in mind, the question still stands I guess.
>>17314879
Talk to your co-works, and invite them for drinks, or another activity you feel that you and they would enjoy doing.
It's really that simple, pretty intuitive actually, i'm surprised you couldn't figure that out for yourself
Vulnerability. You have to allow others to see your weaknesses, and they have to show you theirs.
t. a guy who has literally never had a friend before.
>>17314871
this is BS, plenty of adults have friends.
>>17314861
your issue is that you are almost literally asking 'how do i maintain friendships without doing anything'.
seriously you are sainyg
>how do i maintain it
>wihtout initiating anything
you are insisting its their job. dont. be an initiator. call, text, and go places to invite people.
>>17314891
I guess I have a shitload of mental blocks when it comes to starting up conversations, or inviting people places. I will always feel like I'm violating someone's personal space when I impose myself on their day or their future, and I can't get around that.
If they want to talk to me or invite me places, that's fine, but I can't do it the other way.
>>17314929
>i cant get around that
you can but you literally dont try because of it. start doing it. you'll realize htat its peoples own jobs to turn you down if they dont want to hang out.
>> How does one maintain friends if they aren't an initiator, as in, never the one to call, text first, go places with intent to invite people, etc.
My advice to you is to stop being an effortless asshole who expects other people to invite him to hang out when he won't do the same for them. What you're describing isn't called "not being an initiator", it's called being lazy and you can change it by simply changing your behaviour. Friendship means you put a bit of work into it.
>>17314933
Well why is this so easy for everyone else? I've always felt like I was missing something because this is nearly impossible for me to do. I have done it before, but it wasn't by any stretch of the imagination what I would call easy. I see people do this all the time with zero effort, so for it to be so incredibly taxing for me just always felt off. Like I was missing something important.
I don't think I'm lazy about it, but maybe I am, and everyone else just powers through and makes it look easy.
>>17314950
everyones different. you are lazy so you think its hard. you'd thikn being a farmer is 'impossible' but people do it.
>>17314972
I actually wouldn't mind being a farmer. Doing a job is different for me because I know I could do any job I was told to do. It would take some learning, but I know I can learn, and I know I could be good at it in a short amount of time.
This is different though. This isn't about DOING something, it's about BEING something.
But you're probably right and I should stop arguing. I don't know why I make these threads anymore. I always get the same replies and just argue with random people over shit that I know I'm probably wrong about. Guess I just want someone to talk to.
I'm just gonna delete the thread so no one has to bother to respond anymore.
>>17314996
Never mind then, I guess it won't let me delete it.
>>17314996
It IS about doing something. Initiating is hard for people like you and me because we've never really done it. Other people have been doing this since elementary school, and from their point of view, it's natural. What you are missing is that other people have been doing it since an early age, when they didn't even give it any thought and figured it "had" to be done. This is why it wasn't as hard for them.
You just have to change your perspective to think of it is natural. Sadly, the only way I know of doing that is through experience - simply to force yourself to do it, over and over. Once you initiate a few hundred times, it won't feel like something inconceivable anymore.
You are older though, so this will be really hard. I can't do it, at least. So I wish you luck, OP.
