I bore women
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
After dating 9 women so far, I've noticed something. For the first month or two the girlfriend is infatuated, acts like they're head-over-heels in love and then over the coming weeks/ months they almost completely lose interest and then leave.
How does one not into boring?
>>17312407
Welcome to the new age, motherfucker.
>>17312459
the hell does that even mean
>>17312407
You are literally describing every relationship ever. The first stage, the honeymoon stage, is the crazy infatuation for each other. Then the second stage, the cooldown stage, where it's not as hot but there's still warmth, you two are a lot more casual with each other. Then the last stage, which goes in two different routes. The first route being the dissatisfaction stage, where you two are dissatisfied with each other and look at other people wishing they were your significant other. Ends with a breakup, in your case nine breakups. Then there's the other route where you two have that dedication where you two pull through together. This is a relationship that will last until one of you dies.
So fret not Anon, it's not you. It's human nature.
Yeah I don't understand how people stay married for so long
I'm pretty sure the way to a healthy relationship is to be away from oneanother every now and then for moderately long periods
If you're constantly around your wife you'll both get sick of seeing eachother eventually I think.
So my tip is don't hang out too much with your girl
so you think it's your job to entertain your gf?
we've got music, television, books, games, etc. for that man.
do shit that entertains you both.
>>17312541
>Yeah I don't understand how people stay married for so long
because some people realise the benefits (long term) outlast the negative shit.
>>17312475
Kek I'm not sure if I feel better or worse hearing that
>>17312543
but alot, if not most, expect the guy to entertain them and keep them occupied. even when it comes to conversation, most women expect the man to lead it.
>>17312407
My honest opinion is you're probably a handsome person but you lack depth. Do you have life experience? Like stories to talk about or wisdom? An expert in any field? Something worthy of attention?
>>17313609
I'm 19, so probably not? I'm a foreigner which can entertain for a while and I'm into some weird foreign sports but other than that I really doubt it.
>>17313881
That's exactly why your relationships usually burn out. The novelty wears off, and then they realize how boring you are.
You just need to establish yourself with hobbies, interests, and gain life experience. The last, you can only gain with time.
>>17314134
Novelty wears off even with interesting people. There's no real way to avoid it.
>>17312407
Well OP, there is something you can do. When you get your next gf keep your mouth shut as much as possible, let your actions do the talking, NEVER YOUR WORDS.
Don't do things with your gf that she can do with her actual friends( like walk around the mall 4 hours or see a cheesy chick flick with her), let her friend do that shit, not you. Strictly stay an romantic lover. Always push for dates, not all that phone and text chit chat.
Don't put your gf first, put yourself first and get into a lot of things fun and interesting for yourself.
Lots of people have no flying idea what they want. You were also never formally trained on how to be in a relationship. Also, everyone is replaceable, no never get cozy.
>>17314183
It does, but if you're interesting it means there's more to you than just the novelty.
>>17312471
New age referring to contemporary relationships.
People as a whole are constantly trying to entertain themselves with new things. When a new thing is no longer new, ie a new car, new shoes, new bf, then they get bored and try to find something that is new.
OP, try getting to know a girl as a friend before dating her. That way you know she is a genuine person and you share a relationship that isnt based upon you two holding hands and fucking. Ya know, a genuine relationship.
>>17312407
>month
For me it's more like there's an initial great conversation, we see each other once or twice then they just never reply to me ever again.
>>17314595
This isn't true to everyone, especially people who aren't total plebs. The only things that need constant replacing are electronics because of new specs, which doesn't apply to people.
I honestly think you might be a bullshitter considering there is priobably a more specific reason OP has the problem (many do not, many do), but you're more interested in lamenting.
>>17314620
Sure buddy. I'm sure you eat the same food, wear the same clothes, do the same things everyday because your repeating day to day life is just so exciting.
>>17314595
>getting to know a girl as a friend before dating her
Sometimes this could take months, even years, and all the while your wallet is taking a huge hit. I'd like to know if someone is interested in me the first few weeks we're talking to each other, but I know not everyone works this way and at the moment I am not inte
>>17314650
Being friends with a girl means not paying for her shit.
I meant more like look at the friends that are girls that you already know. They won't get bored of you, or at least as quickly, otherwise they wouldn't be your friend.
>>17314650
>my post cut out
>>17314654
>not paying for her shit
I did recently go for a night out, ended up being twice what I budgeted for ($100) I can't be living like that, that's why the sooner the girl tells me she's interested the better. If she wants to be just friends then that's fine too and we can just do cheap friend stuff, I'd rather know that within the first 2-3 weeks. I can't date a girl who I'm already long time friends with, too much to lose if things go wrong.
>>17314630
I don't want a new monogamous partner at the same rate I want to change my clothes.
Novelty is appealing, but people are social animals and can understand on a very intrinsic level that a continued bond is valuable. It starts with mom and pop.
The novelty argument can maybe explain cheating (although it usually explaims sex addiction), but it doesn't describe a person wanting to start a new monogamous relationship. Serial monogamysts are also a specific type of person, not everyone in general.
Monogamy is somewhat of a societal construct, or at least its heavily societally pressured, but so is Candy Crush and you have people sinking time into that for no good fucking reason. Every time you hit an anniversary with someone you've been genuinely commited to and in love with, well it feels good.
Unfortunately our class of people is severely mentally ill, raising the death rate by suicide, accidents, and drug overdose, so we usually don't make it to those happy anniversaries.
Anyway a month is a very short time. OP should ask himself why. He knows more about his life than us.
>>17314667
Also sorry to say what class you are. I assumed you were a middle class white male
>>17314667
Didn't come here to read a book
>>17314686
Are you the nigga writing a handbook with a pen sticking out of your butthole, because that would be hypocritical
>>17314686
Also you scoff important information off and say defeatest stuff.
Im trying to help you my man, not hurt your feelings
>>17314699
>>17314698
And I'm saying I didn't come here to read a book. I ain't offended, I just don't want to read that much shit. I got more important anime to watch
>>17312407
We internet strangers can only brain storm so much. Nobody is perfect, so unless you can think of something you did that could be incredibly unattractive it is not you. Its them, and there expectations, as I know from real life and most women who post here that they are incredibly picky and refuse to "settle" on a guy that doesn't generate strong emotions and vagina tingles with every move he makes.
It probably gets better with age. Hang in there and keep dating. And improve yourself for your own sake, not for any woman.
>>17314720
Right. Anime is much more pleasant.
>>17314756
Baka Desu sensei
