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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hey /adv/, you might vaguely recognize me as the girl who almost gave her beta friend a pity fuck. I bring it up because I'm back with a related quandary.
I have another friend who has also confessed his feelings for me, however I am not interested in him. I'm worried for his and my safety. He makes a lot of "jokes" about killing himself and occasionally posts something nebulously threatening on Facebook. I'm concerned that he may harm himself and I might be adding stress on top of that by being his friend but not dating him.
Do I take one for the team? Do I stop being his friend? He confides in me a lot and I think that may be helping stem whatever his issues are, but now he "likes" me a bit too much for comfort.
As a side note do I keep these guys separate or should they know each other?
>>17312096
If you are a real person I'm going to tell this to you in all honesty.
Assuming you are a real person, you are using your pussy as a cure-all. In the long run that's going to hurt a lot of people.
You're bestie that likes you, you don't have to fuck him to keep him alive. You have to give him the hard truth about women, you're not into him. Women don't like nice guys. Straight up tell him you love him as a friend, you love his company. Don't try any dumb shit like you're going to hook him up with your friend, because you'd be setting him up for failure.
Just spread a dumb rumor that you heard with your girlfriends. He knows how to fuck, he's a badboy and all of that. Don't give him advice on how to get laid, just get him laid.
>>17312118
I don't have any friends, except for three, two of which have mistaken my friendship for romantic advances.
He doesn't have issues getting girls as I have heard that he is a bit of a "creep" from someone that works at the cafe I frequent. He tells me that he had a string of relationships, and his best friend is a girl. However when he said he was interested in me it was over a text and not to my face. Before that, he kind of stared at me and drove off.
>>17312118
What I mean to say is he's already garnered a reputation all his own.
Dont get manipulated by his emo-trips. Sorry OP, but you have to be honest with him... DO NOT leave him lingering with a 'maybe' or mixed signals. Be clear that you are still there for him and he should seek help.
>>17312140
Does that mean I should stop letting him drive me to secluded places? Not a joke, when we hang out we take his truck to a parking lot several towns over to listen to music and talk. I usually have a knife on me and I'm not too worried, but I'm also not the most sensitive to danger.
>>17312096
lol
>>17312149
I have nothing dignified to say about this. I know I look like a loser.
>>17312153
People like you are unnerving
>>17312167
Excuse me whatI
>>17312153
so why dont you get your shit together and rise above this nonsense? or is this actually the pinnacle of your ability? is it honestly benefiting you to keep doing childish shit?
>>17312182
I lived as a social hermit for most of my life. The first person who loved me and coaxed me out of my shell left me on my own three months ago. I don't know how to react to anything like this, I'm uncomfortable but I enjoy the attention so I don't know what to do. This is where I go now.
>>17312144
Well thats up to him, if he can take reality like an adult and be able to continue your friendship, maybe after a while because its normal for him to be hurt.
Just not too extreme, full on drama levels, you know? Like the ones that would make you fear he does some stupidly impulsive thing.
I know it sucks to affect a friendship like that... but honestly it looks better than the alternative.
>>17312187
He knows I'd knife him but I guess it would be wise to withdraw a bit. I'll stop letting him drive me so far away
>>17312186
i see
in time, you will come to understand that the attention you receive is as hollow as you are. you will come to understand that you must cultivate yourself before you can have any hope of coexisting with another. define yourself, before you become a parasite
If he's making suicidal statements, make a record of them and take them to the police. You're not a psychiatrist and your friend is sick. You aren't equipped to help him.
Fucking him if he's serious will result in putting your own life at risk when he loses his shit.
Fucking him if he's not serious means he manipulated you in one of the most disgusting ways someone can, and he's not your friend.
Also, distance yourself from him. And this board. Seriously, you keep coming back asking if you should fuck a crazy person. The answer won't change.
Also, ignore pegasus, he's a shitposter who should die in a fire.
>>17312207
I'm not hollow, I just don't know how to react to human affection. I don't know how to demonstrate that online, much less be believed.
>>17312221
Sorry I'm not trying to rile anyone up. I don't think I made it clear that my first long lasting friendship became sexual rather quickly, which in hindsight is probably not a good thing. I don't know what people are supposed to do
>>17312237
That is another issue. Your problem is a suicidal person wants to fuck you and you're considering it like someone who's never heard the term self preservation.
>>17312226
>I'm not hollow
really now? what is there to you, aside from being a sieve for the effort of others?
>don't know how to react to human affection
there is no right or wrong way
everything is what you make it
make yourself and your surroundings what you want them to be
this infantile charade you describe continues because you facilitate it
>>17312248
I think I have come to realize what I might have stumbled into
>>17312256
I have my own interests. Until now, they haven't involved others.
>>17312261
and is this what interests you? wasting time with dumb shit and dumb people when you could be progressing?
>>17312272
I don't really see how my interests are involved with the topic at hand.
Since you insist, I'm studying law, I like ice cream, and my favorite color is red. Satisfied?
>>17312221
>If he's making suicidal statements, make a record of them and take them to the police.
Well that's a guaranteed way to ruin a friendship and possibly get stabbed.
>>17312096
I'm sorry OP but I can't help to think that you just want to fuck and am making an excuse for it, trying to justify it by getting certain replies here.
If you want to fuck him, go do that, but be aware of the consequenses (he will only become more suicidal if you fuck with him once out of pity and then drop him).
Like others have suggested, be honest and maybe help him get laid somehow. Or just other ways to boost his confidence. Show him places where he can learn about improving himself.
Either way if he wants to kill himself then just let him do that. I'm pretty sure that he won't do it though, every edgy depressed teen says shit like that nowadays but they mostly never follow up on those words.
>>17312294
He's 24
>>17312299
He hasn't grown up then and is still a manchild.
>>17312285
No, doing nothing is a guaranteed ticket to getting stabbed or living with the knowledge you could have done something, but didn't.
As to ruining the friendship, there are only 2 possibilities here:
1. He's manipulating her with threats of suicide to get laid. Not her friend if that's true, nothing lost.
2. He's sick and needs help, and a friend's obligation is to get them that help. Hopefully he'll feel different after treatement, but yes, you might lose the friend.
But what's worse? Having an angry friend or a dead one?
>>17312346
>He's sick and needs help, and a friend's obligation is to get them that help. Hopefully he'll feel different after treatement, but yes, you might lose the friend.
Your solution is to report him to the cops and probably get him locked up in a loony bin. That will totally destroy any trust and probably traumatise him permanently, and we all all know that mental health facilities are shit-tier and often make people worse. You'd make a shitty friend.
>>17312352
You're a retard with no experience in what you're talking about. Literally more than 99% percent of police interactions with other people go smoothly (true story, you can look it up next time cnn tries to sell you fear of police) and I guarantee you cops have 0 interest in being involved with the treatment of the mentally ill.
To that end, they have every phone number and contact to get help for mentally ill people they can amass and they don't hesitate to get those people involved. They tend to know which doctors and services work the best because they often come into contact with the ones who are poorly served again.
As to your larger point, yes, treatement for mental illness sucks, especially if it's involuntary. But if it's needed, then it's needed and it's only going to get worse the longer she waits. Better to get law enforcement involved now then when he's got her at knife point in a standoff. Because they will shoot him at that point.
And if he doesn't actually need treatement then he's not a friend in the first place, he's a bag of shit who'd manipulate someone into sex with threats of suicide (i.e. rape by coercionl, in which case, fuck him, he deserves what he gets.
>>17312374
I never suggested that the cops would react badly so that's besides the point.If you think being forced into a institution by them and his so-called friend will help his mental state then you're the retard.
>>17312380
So your answer is what exactly?
OP should fuck a demonstrably unstable person and make herself a target when he loses it?
Or she should just walk away and let him die, hopefully he doesn't stalk her first or take out a school? Even he mercifully just does himself, how does she ever face the guilt when she sees his family or friends again?
I've got the Leo experience informing my opinion here. Are you a doctor of psychiatry? What is your expert advice then? Because if you've got nothing to suggest then sit down and shut the fuck up, you're useless.
>>17312399
You jumped to the most extreme possibility when OP could at least try and guide him into getting help first.
>OP's friend is suicidal
>QUICK SEND HIM TO THE LOONY BIN
>>17312403
Lol at Loony bin. You don't know what you're talking about, you're referencing asylums that haven't existed in decades and their replacements that haven't existed since the Reagan administration. Just stop typing, you're worse than useless, you're an active source of disinformation.
Modern psychiatric evaluation and treatment happens in hospitals and private offices.
OP, get the police involved. This only gets worse the longer you wait.
>>17312403
Sorry but that advice was sound.
If her friend is in such a place they would consider suicide, imagine the contempt he has for others he would consider the reason for his predicament.
You honestly think he is like "oh I love the world, I love people, but I hate me, I'm just gonna kill me"? Really? Seems a bit naive.
>>17312435
>i'm an expert I took online courses or something
>trust me OP, you should tell the cops because then he definitely won't get violent
>>17312442
>You honestly think he is like "oh I love the world, I love people, but I hate me, I'm just gonna kill me"? Really? Seems a bit naive.
Most suicidal people don't kill others you retard.
>>17312403
Oh, and by the way, in case you feel the need to open your mouth or use your keyboard again, psych evals are mandatory before an involuntary hold can be placed on anyone. OP's friend must be evaluated by a psychologist and deemed to be a danger to himself or others before they can commit him, which generally consists of an interview starting with "this is what you said, now tell me why you said it."
In the event he "was guided gently to get help" (insert masturbating gesture here) there are exactly 2 outcomes.
1. He lies about having made suicidal statements, is released and gets no help.
2. He doesn't lie, is evaluated as a danger to himself and gets treatment OR is evaluated as nit a danger and isn't held.
Getting the police involved is the only way to make sure option 2 is what occurs here.
>>17312444
Nice trips, but still wrong. Online courses are for social maladaptives who can't hack it in the real world. My experiences are practical. Refer to the post where I describe myself as an Leo, then see if you can figure out what that means. I'm sure you'll get it eventually.
>>bonus hint: it's kind of boring in this profession at 4 in the morning, not a lot of emergencies going on, thus 4chan.
>>17312464
It's a waste of time with that one, he will never come to the conclusion that people in that state are unpredictable. Thank you for at least being an officer of the law who gives sound advice.
>>17312445
Suicidal people who are obsessed with another person often do.
>>17312454
You seem to be 100% sure she needs to get cops involved and he'll lie if she doesn't. Why?
>>17312464
Oh it's job security.
This is putting aside the fact that OP has never said anything about being pressured into sex, only that she was considering fucking him because he likes her and is depressed. The only threating stuff she's mentioned is vague facebook posts while she's the one carrying a knife around and talking about stabbing people. She also mentioned she's been isolated for along time and is probably a paranoid fucker. If you're serious you should get her to turn herself into the cops.
>>17312454
Our office would review his "nebulously threatening" posts and consider asking the court for a mandated evaluation, irregardless of any admission.
The first step is getting officers involved who can then relay that information, not for just his safety, but the safety of others as well.
>>17312480
Same poster dingleberry.
Reread the initial post (i.e. the most honest depiction of events). He's making suicidal statements and she thinks she can solve that with sex. Where do you think she gets the idea from? It's manipulation and it's disgustingly common. OP wants to give him the benefit of the doubt BECAUSE she's isolated. Her paranoia wouldn't even be questioned by a woman who grew up in an urban, social setting.
Crazy people can't be trusted to act rationally, that's why they're crazy. That he's making any threatening or worrying statements/actions at all is enough to warrant a call to the police. Fact is either he's a manipulative scum bag or depressed and developing a fixation on the OP. The latter is worse and more dangerous, but fortunately they both have the same solution, which is to call the police.
Also, it's not job security. It's being an older brother and having been a young man. I'm perfectly fine with the idea of nothing to do all night.
>>17312477
It's what I spend most of my time doing anyhow, easier to popo when people know they can talk with you and you give reliably good advice. Appreciate the the comment.
5 minutes til quitting time, have a good one.
After reading these comments, I'm going to ask his friends about his behavior. He claims he's made several attempts on his own life in the past, but I don't know enough about it. Although the uncomfortable way he jokes about trying to overdose seems genuine. I'm pretty thoroughly disturbed. I don't know if I could be responsible for turning him in to the funnyhouse because I don't trust the mental health services in my area. We're both non-religious in the South and a major part of mental recovery out here is returning to Gezus and prayer. I wouldn't want someone to do that with me and he's had extremely negative experiences within the church and religious people
What I'm assuming
>Don't date him, not even out of pity
>he needs help/he's being manipulative
>ask people who know him about his behavior
>stop letting him drive me to secluded places
I'm not too sure about contacting the police because I don't want him to end up in religious-centric psychiatric care. I'm going to disengage, make other friends. Hopefully gay ones.
>>17312171
The way you use sex as a tool is disgusting
>>17312096
>>17312096
You are not responsible for their actions - this is the most important thing you should know beforehand.
If he is your friend then he wouldn't terrorize you emotionally. On the other hand he may not see his actions that way and just wants someone's attention.
Help him in whatever you can, talk to him, talk about him seeing a psychologist, talk about your feelings. You should be nice to him but remain dedicated. You are not attracted to him.
Yes you are his friend but that doesn't mean you should give up your feelings or yourself. If sleeping with him is what you actually can do without feeling unease then do it. But don't do it because it's something what has to be done and if you don't do it then it makes you magically not his friend anymore.
As I said. You are not responsible for him. You are his friend and you can do what you can to help him but that's it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Because it's a slippery slope. Next time he will threaten you to marry him? To have kids? Where is then end in this? How much can you sacrafice for him before you draw the line?
I wish you both good life however and I wish that he will be all right in the near future.
>>17312118
this, I had to tell my best friend straight up and years later he thanked me for it.
>>17312144
yes, quit letting him take you to spots to 'set the mood'.
>>17312167
Like my peanus weanus! Haha!
>>17312096
Do it take one for the fucking team and end the madness, just one single fuck has the potential to save his life if not literally then definitely in some other sense of the word (saving someone from insanity or mind killing depression basically qualifies as this). Do it literally just do it, if you want get him to eat you out and he doesn't get to fuck till you cum. Being an involuntary virgin can definitely make you think about suicide homicide and even both. I really don't know what I'll do if I can't manage to get laid this year.
>>17312096
OP you seriously need to evaluate who you are friends with. I have the sneaking suspicion that you are an unpleasant person who only makes friends with guys with low self-esteem that think they have a shot at fucking you.
I know that sounds harsh, but I'm not trying to attack you. I just think that this might become a trend for you and that would be bad.
Also the guy that was driving you to secluded places to listen to music and talk was taking you on dates. He probably denied it or joked about it.
>>17313476
I bet it will make things worse for him.
>>17313214
I have only had sex with one person in my life, and that was my ex. However I only recently started having actual friends, sort of, in the past 3 months. Two of them happen to be boys, they're both pursing me, and I just went through my first break up. I'm aware that I'm probably being an autist to some extent.
>>17313481
I have a few other people I know and get along with, but only three people are in regular contact with me. They are lovely people, but I didn't come here to talk about the nice people at the coffee shop or Facebook friends.
I don't mind most conclusions drawn about me from the questions I ask, but it may be important to clarify on occasion. I'd also like to make clear that I don't expect coddling. If I did I'd start a tumblr and secure myself in a hugbox.
>>17313476
>this amount of projection
I already specified that he's had a string of female relationships and is not a virgin.
You should probably talk to someone
>>17314215
They aren't your friends if they're trying to fuck you hombre
