How would you react if your s/o told you he was best friends with his first love, who he dated for 9 years? They talk regularly on the phone and travel together still.
He makes me feel bad for feeling jealous, by calling me a rational person before I can even start to ask about his ex.
Should I be feeling jealous?
Personally, I have never had any good experiences with someone who was good friends with their ex/first love. Out of the 3 relationships I had like that, I was dumped at the first sign that the ex was available. At first I thought my jealousy drove the first one away, so I tried better with the second and third. Same thing every time.
To me, it's a pointless thing to stay friends not because it never worked out in the first place, but it hurts the next person you try to get with. I think you're well within your rights to be jealous, especially since it was a 9 year relationship that means it's pretty involved.
With a relationship that long, they know everything there is to know about each other. That combined with the fact that they're still friends means they had good reasons to end the romantic relationship. That said, who can say whether or not they'll change their minds down the line? I personally wouldn't be comfortable with it.
>>17308736
>I personally wouldn't be comfortable with it.
Very few people would be.
>>17308722
>Should I be feeling jealous?
Absolutely.
Look, this might be all on the level, there's no way to tell, but their SO being in regular contact with your ex is not something most people would be okay with. Most people would feel jealous in your situation. Many people would refuse to put up with it outright. Him trying to make you feel bad for having a completely normal reaction is a red flag and isn't acceptable behavior even if there's nothing shady going on here.
Them traveling together (!) is about as far across the line as you can possibly go. Some exceptionally secure, trusting, generous people might put up with it, but they're not common, and you shouldn't feel bad at all for not being that kind of person.
Currently in a relationship with someone that is still friends with their ex (7yrs) It's been sometimes dramatic, sometimes sad, some anxiousness.
At the end of the day it comes down to trust and communication.
dem feels though..