Pretty sure it's gotten tot that point. 3 and a half years and more depressed than I could've ever imagined. I fantasize my demise at all times of the day, no matter the occasion. When I associate comfort with a pistol in my mouth curled up in bed with my covers sheathing my shame and pity.
I have no one to talk to, especially about all the fucked up things I've done hidden away in private. My girlfriend will leave me for sure if she realizes just how hyper-sexual I am and the disgusting things I tell other women. The hospital will do nothing for me and counselors are always at a loss of words (not trying to be edgy). I don't want to live under a facade of happiness with pills.
I hate society. I don't get how people enjoy living their cookie cutter lives. I will never be able to participate in society.
tl;dr - I am having the most intense urges to kill myself and have absolutely no means of quelling these vicious mental attacks.
>>17306805
You sound like a funny guy.
The way you typed that.
Don't do it man
>>17306805
would you like to chat in private? preferably skype?
Call the suicide hotline :^)
>>17306816
I used to be a lot funnier.
>>17306818
Rather just talk here if anything, wasn't even planning on replying initially.
>>17306859
I've never done this. Is it actually relieving? Can I express myself fully without fear of third party intervention? I empathize with serial killers/mass murders and sometime wish I could pull off similar acts, I imagine telling them things like this would require them to get authorities involved for example, correct?
>>17306860
>i asked for advice
>but wasnt planning on replying
how can anyone help you work through your problems if you arent willing to talk about them? you gave us some info but if curing depression was as simple as posting a post on a Mediterranean boi pucci posting pictograph forum it'd be cured.
>rather just talk here
where you take 15 minutes to respond to one sentence?
id love to talk and walk you through this but you're making it difficult. good luck to the others i guess.
>>17306873
>my solution is the only solution known to work and you are ignorant for thinking elsewise
I can imply things too you know
>>17306920
never said my solution. any solution is more than a 'solution' its a re working of your life. walking through the process and figuring out whats wrong. that takes more interaction than 15 minutes inbetween posts can allow. cuz it took you 15 minutes again. even if i listed fifty questions itd be hard to just go through it all in a cohesive way.
thiss is why therapy isnt done in thread format
>>17306865
I was kidding. the truth is, not all suicide is an impulse thing. the time we do it might be somewhat impulsive, but suicide is something we work up to. It takes years of getting beat down and run down and then finally you just give up. So if you are headed in that direction, you need to find another way, change your course so to speak.
The edgelord/masskilling shit is probably something to actually keep some help about. They can only legally call the cops if they think you are an immediate danger. For example: "I'm going to kill X" is a problem. But "I think about killing people" isn't. You can ask your therapist about that specifically when you meet, to know when they have to call the cops.
