Sex Drive
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
How do I boost my libido?
My husband is always hornier than me, unless we haven't done anything sexual for several days in a row. But we have sex almost daily.
I honestly couldn't care less about sex half the time, but I go through with it anyway because I love him and know that he needs it more often than I do. He always tries to get me off first, but it's hard for me to orgasm two days in a row, so I usually just tell him not to worry about me, which frustrates him because he feels inadequate and like it's his fault.
I really wish my sex drive could be more on par with his so I can enjoy having sex more. He's almost always the initiator, and he's constantly telling me to come onto him more so he's not doing all the work, but it's really hard for me to get into it most of the time.
Am I screwed for life or is there some way to increase my libido?
>>17305481
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stQTFEaHzVI
Try putting this tune on to set the mood
Have you tried just sucking him off? Not always of course but yea, tell him you want to taste him or some shit to get it over with
>>17305487
Yes, that should definitely wet the basement. Thank you, anon.
>>17305492
That's part of the problem, too. He always wants me to suck him off, but if I'm not in the mood I suck at it (still gets him off, though).
>>17305497
Whoops pun unintended
>>17305481
Sounds like your husband doesn't know how to get you going
More exercise, especially weight lifting. Exercise and good health in general promote hormonal balance. And exercises, especially ones that build muscle, promote the production of testosterone, the hormone that is integral for both male and female sex drive.
>>17305535
It's my fault, really. He's always asking me what to do but I have trouble thinking of something that he could do to get me off. When he does things that feel uncomfortable to me I pretend I'm into it, and when he asks me if it feels good I lie and say yes. I just want him to do what feels good to him so it can be over with.
>>17305540
Thanks for the info. It would make sense if my weight and hormonal problems had something to do with my low sex drive.
>>17305561
You're retarded. Stop lying. Be honest
Explore yourself with your husband and find something
>>17305570
What do you mean by explore myself with my husband?
>>17305561
Holy fuck women. You are married to that man. Talk to him and don't just pretend everything is fine when it's not. Dont you have any kinks or fetishes that turn you on?
i smell divorce coming soon
>>17305561
And also lose weight fatty. Unless he digs that.
>>17305579
Yes, but he doesn't do it very often and when he does it wears him out. And I know. I'm bad lying when it comes to my feelings.
>>17305584
Our marriage is healthy other than this.
>>17305586
He does, and he's much bigger than me anyway.
>>17305595
What about your kinks? Ever discussed thst with each other? You definitely should sit down and talk to him. I can only see it turning into resentment down the road. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like that?
>>17305619
We discussed them at the beginning of our sexual relationship, but I was a virgin then so I really didn't know anything about my likes and dislikes yet.
I'm really bad at talking about myself and my feelings to him because I'm very emotional and as soon as I open my mouth I start crying, which I hate doing.
>>17305641
sometimes you need to be uncomfortable to express how you feel. tuff luk bb
>>17305641
Not that anon, and I think people itt are using harsh words, but they are right. You've got to communicate! It's hard, really hard, but so important. You've just got to let go and open up, be completely honest about your feelings, and let yourself cry. He is your partner after all. With enough practice, you'll master open communication, and your marriage will be very strong and happy.
Lose weight and exercise.
I've been overweight for my whole life, when I lost the extra weight my sex drive went from "meh, going to fuck you because otherwise you'll leave me" to "I totally need to suck your cock right now".
What this guy said is true: >>17305540
Other than that, being thinner and healthier, especially if your husband is dieting too, will make you feel more attracted to each other, will increase both of your sex drive, will make you feel better about yourselves.
>>17305641
Exercise and endurance training helps with emotional stability. Also, sex should be mutual. If you have some kinks you know that gets you off, tell him. What are your kinks?
If I had to guess I'd say he's not doing too much to get you really turned on and excited and you both view it as a chance to get him off. Which then makes sex not very compelling for you -- so why would you bother seducing him?
I guess you've got to look at why you don't feel more sexy. If I'm feeling cold, tired, or clogged up on shit I don't want sex. If I'm depressed or distracted then I might not want sex.
The best sex in my relationship is when we really build up to it with flirting throughout the day, through a long massage or play, or when something sexy happens to spark it off.
Basically there are times when it's just about getting off, and there are times when it's about being very attracted to each other and turned on. So to make the latter happen more you've got to get rid off the things that put you off and increase the things that really turn you on. I don't mean wearing leather and spitting on each other.
I mean if you sit around in your pyjamas, farting and watching television 24/7 then sex is unlikely to happen because you're both so turned on. You need to talk to him about this and say you know the difference between being his cum rag and actually getting a good fucking.
He needs to do more than just play with your clit long enough that he can get his dick sucked. And you need to make sex actually seem fun and sexy for him.
>>17305673
>If I had to guess I'd say he's not doing too much to get you really turned on and excited
He tries though, he really does.
>I guess you've got to look at why you don't feel more sexy.
He's always calling me sexy and beautiful and he's easily turned on by me. I don't see myself as attractive at all, and I just start thinking about how wrong I think he is.
>>17305649
Thanks for being so positive.
>>17305481
I fail to understand why you think you are the one with the problem. Simply because a man gets hard when the wind blows and looks to put it someplace doesn't mean your job is a everyday receptacle. Tell him to jack off
>>17305805
He's my husband, though. I love him enough to not want to turn him down over some dumb mental bs that's my fault.
You may "love" him but you aren't attracted to him, plain and simple. You even said he's fat. He's right to feel inadequate, if I can't get a girl wet and excited then I'm failing to turn her on and failing as a man.
Call up Tyrone so he can fuck you good on the side, this will spark your sexual awakening and make you more interested in sex with your husband. Bring up the possibility of having him watch you fuck other men, this can be very enjoyable for both parties.
Mismatched sex drives are extremely common in marriage. It is helpful to view this as a relationship metric rather than a personal fault. From what I'm reading this looks like a relatively normal setup; you recognise his sexual needs and he expresses a desire to make sure you're getting off too.
I wouldn't feel bad about not achieving orgasm every time so long as you're getting 1 or 2 a week. Trick is to focus on the other things you like about the sex like the sensual contact or the cuddling afterward. Aim to get those; and tell him that's what you're getting out of it.
It is important not to feel pressured into regular sex just for his sake. Use your own volition here, there are times when you're not going to orgasm but there's also times when you just don't want sex. As long as you communicate that clearly, then things are going well. When you're having sex just to appease him and keep the marriage alive, things are sliding.
>>17305846
This desu.
Ill be your tyrone. Ill bend you over my desk and fuck you so hard everyone in the office will hear you cumming.
But seriously you need to tell your husband that you arent attracted to him since the weight gain.
>>17305856
>tell him that's what you're getting out of it
Holy crap I think this may be my answer. I've been stressing out so much about having an orgasm and how turned on I should be that I forget to enjoy the other parts of sex.
You seriously just helped me so much, thank you!
>>17305858
I know I'm not attracted to him, but he already struggles with his weight so much. I don't want to make him feel worse about himself.
>>17305861
Yeah sex is more than orgasm for most chicks. You can be flirtatious about this, tell him all the little things you like during and after sex such as his manly musk or weight of his body on yours etc. Move from sexual to erotic.
A few other things; get fitter and tidy up your diet. Getting married shouldn't mean getting fat together. Masturbate more using toys and visual aids. Aim to talk more about the relationship even if it makes you tearful. It's not going to be fun but he'll want to know even if you're cracking up. He'll be aware of this sensitivity if it's happened before. Push through and speak. Communicate your feelings. This is vital
try horny goat weed. yes I know it has a funny name but it's good. helped my paxil dick.
>>17305870
Wow yeah that all sounds great. Thanks again
>>17305836
I understand that but again every day. You are also his wife not a hole on demand.
>>17305791
Work on your self esteem
>>17305865
How about you work out together? What made you marry him if you aren't attracted to him?
>>17305481
Buy peptide "PT-141" and inject to get super horny.
Or take drug "GHB" or maybe "GBL" which both make you feel super horny. Would fuck forever.
Stimulants also work.
Combine all 3 to fuck till death.
