Like some guy I read yesterday, I'm a failure, 31, no studies, no job. I've been with my gf for 2 years, she's living a couple hours away on a city in another country. We wanted to live together and she offers me her place to look for a job there for as long as it takes. I was thinking on studying here something quick in a couple of years to have access to a job, but I'll lose her.
Should I move and try settling with any shitty job I can find (no expectatives to study there until I'm proficient in their language at least when I'm 35, also will be difficult to study once I'm working) or break with her and study here in looks for a better future?
The idea of working flipping burgers for the rest of my life depresses me, but so does losing her. This could be either a good opportunity to be with her and get a job or the start of a career but late and without her. I'm worried about my future and about her.
Am I too worried about my future and my age and should just go with her and work from there?
Thanks for any advice guys. If you've had to make a hard choice I would like to hear your story.
Women are (most of the time) temporary
Diplomas on the other hand ...
It's your choice, but I know a lot of my friends made poor decisions because they wanted to be with their gf. In the end they usually lost their gf and have nothing left. It's a sad thing to witness.
By the way 2 years is not much and for me it's not enough to justify having a shitty job for the rest of your life.
PS : Why can't you just do both ? Study a few years, learn her language in the meantime, then move there with a diploma ?
>>17305763
Thank you very much for your response. Unfortunately doing both is impossible as she understandably wants to be together already and told me she can't wait for 2 years more like this.
I've read enough threads to know that your answer will be probably correct in most of the cases, yet it's so painful to do it when you're the one being pointed out, lose her & everything we've built so far and have that void inside for god knows how much time, and wondering how could have went in this particular case, had I decided to move with her.
On the other side, I don't want to end up later in life jobless as many middle aged people I've seen and with even worse odds of getting back in the right track. I'm depressed enough with my situation as it is now and I don't want to be a burden for anyone.
Right now I'm leaning towards getting the education, as that's the more reasonable thing to do in my case as you pointed out, but man the feelings are killing me.
>>17305826
>doing both is impossible as she understandably wants to be together already
This alone is not a good sign.
Sure it's hard, but 2 years is not much. It'll be hard the first few weeks / months but try to find a hobby of some king in the meantime, reading, learning an instrument, going out more often (to find someone else maybe, idk).
Breaking a relationship is awful but as you seems to understand, some things are more important for your future.
A diploma is a 100% real thing that will follow you wherever you go, relationships are volatile.
>>17305838
I don't really blame her for wanting to have a normal relationship and have a partner she can feel everyday.
In my circumstances, I feel that that could wait, but if she feels different about it well I won't hold a grudge against her since there's not much I can do about what she naturally feels. Even if studying grants me access to a better job (or a job at all) which would benefit us, if she needs the sensation of having a partner living everyday with her asap, well it's not anybody's fault the way I see it.
The only problem is that I'm still in time to make the choice and take either path, but the voice of reason says to study amidst the voices of sentiments. The weight of taking such decision is heavy. Hence my dilemma.
>>17305905
>but the voice of reason says to study amidst the voices of sentiments. The weight of taking such decision is heavy. Hence my dilemma.
Yep, it's always the same, but I can almost guarantee that in 5 years when you'll look back you'll be more happy with a decent education / job than a girl (and you'll probably have both by then, it'll just be a different girl). Emotions are a bitch and will shatter even your basic logic
>>17305930
Thank you.
Yeah, if I dissipate this fog and see it as somebody else, I know it's probably going to be better for both of us in the long run this way, even it's with us not being together. But it's not something I can really say as myself right now because of the pain.
>>17305930
This desu. Emotions fuck up rational thinking. Like said in this thread, her not being able to wait is a red flag (even though it is completely rational/logical from her side as well). 2 years is a bit long (but still managable), but if she really is the one (or actually, she sees you as "the one"), then she would or should be able to wait. But that's my opinion.
After all follow your guts, but plan everything out and make a rational decision. Don't be blinded by emotions if you make life decisions.
