Am I a freak?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Is it really abnormal if I'm repulsed by the idea of a man taking control of a situation? I find the thought really annoying and it gives me a headache.
I'm not sure why I am this way. (I'm a straight female.)
>>17304284
I am a straight male. I feel the same way, cheers.
If you consider that there are quite a bunch of people who are into femdom than it's not abnormal at all.
>>17304284
No.
Think of it like this: just because you're in a relationship does not give anyone any authority over your affairs. That said, being there for each other is an awesome part of it, as long as the "helping" out in a situation isn't unsolicited.
If I want help, I'll ask. Anyone needing someone to control "situations" all of the time lack basic structure and/or know-how and really are a drag on people with goals.
I feel you, I'm with you, but as a male, it works both ways. Or you do as >>17304284 and find someone you have to babysit 24/7.
>>17304302
That makes sense because I'm into femdom.
Any budding psychologists want to comment?
I don't see men as people to be served, but people to conquer.
I romanticize about my partner being my biggest competitor. Someone who challenges me and someone who I always have to defeat.
All of my exes have had less job opportunity and potential financial growth than me. I'm not EXACTLY satisfied with this, but I enjoy being the "best thing that ever happened to" them.
I've also never found muscular men attractive. Very hairy bodies and beards always seemed unkempt and slobby to me. I hear most women like men who take charge and have muscle, but for some reason I just don't.
>>17304338
Thanks, anon.
> Anyone needing someone to control "situations" all of the time lack basic structure and/or know-how and really are a drag on people with goals.
Yeah, so I just have daddy issues I guess.
>>17304346
so you don't want a real man and take charge kind of guy?
oh, you'll do fine with those wimpy cry babies, some of them kind of look like men sometimes, you can have them if you want!
>>17304387
> so you don't want a real man and take charge kind of guy?
no.
> oh, you'll do fine with those wimpy cry babies, some of them kind of look like men sometimes, you can have them if you want!
I know, I can have any shithead off the street. Probably most of my unmarried colleagues if I pretend to be liberal.
>>17304346
>M-men are bad
>I want him to be a challenge
>I want to conquer
>only goes for bitch bois who are easier to conquer
Daddy issues.
>>17304354
I don't think you have Daddy issues unless your father figure was someone who required a lot of direction, but was still there.
Your mindset of not wanting someone to control everything is on point with the way most people should act anyways, so you're fine.
Find someone you can meet half way, but no further unless asked upon. Being independent of each other is a good thing.
>>17304409
> men are bad
I didn't say that, m8. I guess I've been annoyed by my father my whole life. I want someone quiet and reserved, which is completely the opposite.
>>17304430
I'm quiet and reserved, but I know how to stand my ground if I have to.
I have a high paying job, and also have a high status because of it.
you still want a "Quiet and reserved" guy?
>>17304423
> unless your father figure was someone who required a lot of direction
No, quite the opposite. Always wanted control of everything. Sometimes uses dirty methods to discover anything about my social life. He was always like one of those little boys you see playing in the sandbox. They call other little girls over to play, but then don't let them play with any of their toys so the little girl has to sit there and in his expectation be satisfied with having nothing. But it's really not a big deal. I do love him.
If by control you mean a total domineering person who always has to have it his way? No. If you mean a man ever having his say in the matter and going along with it if it's the best choice? Yes.
Something you'll just have to learn as well is that some men are natural leaders and can take charge. As long as it's not by intimidating or using underhanded means to do so, you should be fine with it.
>>17304473
Yeah, so you don't have Daddy issues. You learned from his authoritarian rule and opted take the role on for yourself in a relationship.
You say you don't want a male controlling the situation, but I can almost guarantee that is because you want to control the situation.
Psych101. You're welcome.
>>17304455
We could give it a go, anon.
Do you have a throwaway skype? (or you can suggest other methods if you'd like. )
>>17304284
>man taking control of a situation
wtf does this even mean
>>17304500
Nice image, m8
>As long as it's not by intimidating or using underhanded means to do so, you should be fine with it.
I'm fine with this. I like structure and order.
>>17304508
That fits into the puzzle. Thanks so much, anon.
>>17304513
For example,
"go do this thing"
> begin doing the thing
> interrupted by, "No, no! You have to do it this way and that way. And then that way. Are you watching me? Now do it like me. Why aren't you doing it like me? "
And this happens every single time about very mundane things like organizing MY space, planning MY time, making a salad, how to turn off the shower and he prefers I do it exactly the way he wants it even if his actions have no influence on the final result.
Of course I never put up with this as a child, but the feelings of listening to this are burned into me.
No ur perfect :3
>>17304565
No one likes being bossed around. It's a normal human response, but you have to accept your own mistakes.
If it IS true that you are not doing the things you are doing correctly, then get bossed around. If you think you are doing those things right, argue. It's that easy. No need to feel annoyed.
You maybe have a different reaction to this since you never put up with this as a child. Were you some kind of spoiled kid? I might sound autistic but I'm just high don't worry
>>17305130
Nevermind, I hadn't read your other posts yet. So I'm guessing that you now have some kind of trauma because of your dad's sneaky jewy ways. I say get used to it.
>>17304284
Lol you are just jealous
/Thread
>>17304346
My moderate psychology education would say this.
Its really just how you are. The exposure to femdom may have had an affect, because there is a bit too much "rar patriarchy" out there that can turn things into a witch hunt.
My relationships pretty equal. Theres no jobs or gender roles and we both make the same income, but thats how we are, and how we meshed. we didnt strive for it.
But it is normal in a relationship for there to be a leader as humans are heirarchal. Sometimes it has nothing to do with gender.
So id really ask what do you mean by "taking control of a situation." because in general, someone always has to. Humans tend to fall behind someone who takes control.
If you mean a man who takes charge because hes the man and thats that, yeah thats pretty lame. But if youre talking just a general oh theres a project happening and this guy took the lead role.. Well.. That happens all the time, and if we're screaming patriarchy everytime a male steps up in the presence of females, we're not headed in a good direction.
>>17305130
>>17305138
> I'm just high
ok
>>17304302
>cheers
What are you? Gay/British or something?
>>17304284
OP how would you feel if I (a straight male) said the same thing about a female taking control of a situation?
Biologically speaking, men are simply more likely to take charge (if women can blame hormones, then we can too). I have no problem with a woman in charge but men have the innate drive to be in control.
>>17305145
> The exposure to femdom may have had an affect, because there is a bit too much "rar patriarchy" out there that can turn things into a witch hunt.
I don't think so. I discovered femdom at age 20 and have been fantasizing about making boys my toys since 10. I never knew how to express that feeling or that it even could be expressed until I found that sort of porn. But I always thought my place was the one leading and being served. However, I don't care about practising bdsm in reality. We're talking mostly relationship dynamics here.
> My relationships pretty equal. Theres no jobs or gender roles and we both make the same income, but thats how we are, and how we meshed. we didnt strive for it.
That's great, anon.
> That happens all the time, and if we're screaming patriarchy everytime a male steps up in the presence of females, we're not headed in a good direction.
Right, I don't care about that. But you are considerate. :)
So my conclusion from this thread is that this is just my inborn "personality."
>>17305145
You should make an "ask a psychologist" thread
>>17305145
>psychology
>education
If every (((psychologist))) died simultaneously the world would have lost nothing
psychology is and always will be complete bullshit
>>17305154
> OP how would you feel if I (a straight male) said the same thing about a female taking control of a situation?
I wouldn't feel anything, I'd just think you're a common penis. I wonder why I'm irregular for a female.
> Biologically speaking, men are simply more likely to take charge (if women can blame hormones, then we can too). I have no problem with a woman in charge but men have the innate drive to be in control.
I accept this.
>>17305213
kek, human behavior shouldn't be studied?
>>17305227
Not by Jewish doctors that have a political agenda and make sweeping assumptions
and unable to reproduce the same results using replication
WHILE
also confusing statistical significance with practical importance
If you fall for the psychology meme you only have yourself to blame
>>17305043
:3
>>17305215
>I wouldn't feel anything, I'd just think you're a common penis. I wonder why I'm irregular for a female.
That's weird. Most feminists wouldn't know how to respond to this.
Wait.... Are you a REASONABLE FEMINIST???? Fuck. I didn't think that you actually existed.
>I accept this.
You are probably the smartest femnon ever. I accept you as an equal anon and will not ask for tits or sharpy in anything..
>>17305243
ok, but what if you want to become a therapist?
What if you want to help people through their mental issues so they don't off themselves (statistically, you would be helping white males)?
Psychology isn't a meme. There are cut and dry use cases where people benefit.
>>17305256
> Are you a REASONABLE FEMINIST???? Fuck. I didn't think that you actually existed.
What are you, 12? Go outside once in a while.
> You are probably the smartest femnon ever. I accept you as an equal anon and will not ask for tits or sharpy in anything..
Thanks, kiddo. :)
>>17305265
>wanting to save people with mental issues
Why would you want to inflict a population with failed genetics?
>>17305267
>What are you, 12?
It was a joke, fucking fag.
>>17305277
No worries, mein nigger
>>17305270
Interestingly enough, the same genes that make schizophrenics "crazy" are likely the same that drive creativity in the general population.
>>17305270
I'm willing to bet you have subprime genetic so cool it with the eugenics shit, hypocrite.
>>17305298
Just get ignore Pegashit.
Or filter him out altogether.
He's always talking nonsense.
>>17305298
>subprime genetic[sic]
What are "prime genetics" then, you eugenic fucker?
>>17304510
If you two actually hook up off of /adv/ I WILL EAT MY OWN SHIT
>>17305312
I got some prime genetics right here boys
>>17305320
>half white
>only a 50/50 chance that I get to pass on my Scandinavian eyes/hair onto our offspring
0/10.
No.
>>17305320
It was so awesome here while you were gone.
>>17305312
subprime by his (>>17305320) definitions, not mine.
>>17304346
My guess is insecurity and bad experience with dominant men, especially your father. The only question is if you can respect, love, and take care of your partner after he's proven to be weaker than you. If you can, then dominance works. If not, then it's more of a self validation that's going on.
You could also have higher testosterone levels. Is your sexdrive high?
>>17305329
Oh I'm sorry, am I disrupting your flow of penis and tinder threads?
>>17304284
You have bad genes.
>>17304284
Not a freak, just insecure.
>>17304284
...
Why can't more women be like you?
>>17305270
This is the wrong type of reasoning anon, the time will come that we'll morally accept genetic manipulation on humans and can take actions before people are born based of their genetics.
Till that time, lets just choose the path that amounts to the least suffering. So not killing or discarding people with inferior dna.
>>17305319
haha, yeah nah, probably not
>>17305324
This guy knows what he's talking about.
>>17305336
Yes, it is.
One time a guy told me, "you have waaay too much testosterone for a girl." This is when I understood he was not dateable.
>>17305696
>>17306171
Then you know what's up. Testosterone screws up the brain just like estrogen but in different ways. Most men don't want competition at home, they have more than enough of that at work. If you want guys who think you're the best thing that has happened to them even long term, look for guys who are bad at socializing, but have their shit together, and are generally kind and nice. If you don't shit on them for it, but respect them, they will worship you.
