Hello /adv/,
To start off I want to make a few points just to show I'm actually self aware, and not an entitled manbaby millenial like many of you are I'm sure used to;
>it is my fault I don't have employment history
>it is my fault I didn't do well academically
>I cannot blame all of my problems on my parents
>I am a loser and naive
Now;
>live in England
>18, 19 next month, been living at home with my parents for the entirety of my life
>had a lot of family issues, if relevent I will elaborate, which have led to me being significantly depressed since 11
>due to this I struggled in school, not with the actual course material, but with motivation, waking up, attendance etc.
>this led to me failing my first year of A-Levels, and retaking the year
>I completed my second (technically third) year a few weeks ago
>I am well aware that in all liklihood I have failed abysmally (all my fault, but I need to move on)
>my focus for the past few weeks has been to find employment in any form, cleaning, services, literally anything I can do I will
>my mother and father haven't had a job in over two decades
>full on NEET, welfare, doing nothing but self-serve (this has rubbed off on me sadly, but I am aware and hoping I can "beat" it)
>he has been pestering me to get a job, to which I respond I am applying to a minimum of 5 a day
>he doesn't believe me and gets irritable, so I show him proof that I am applying to these jobs
>doesn't change his attitude whatsoever, and becomes more and more irritable
>like most NEETs I like to stay up late, 2-3am on most nights, this annoys him
>in order to stop me he has put a lock on the internet which comes into effect from 11pm-8am
>I would understand this under normal parenting circumstances, as he used to do it when I had exams (it's shitty, but reason for it)
>today
>got my first response to a job application after going through over 60
>>17304130
>cleaner at a nearby Hospital, good pay, very excited
>talk to my father and bring up the topic of paying bills and contributing to the household
>he wants me to contribute one third of ALL bills
>to me, this is not acceptable
>he has bought in the last year, with welfare mind, FOUR monitors, a high spec top of the range computer, a lathe and countless tools/materials for his garage hobby
>this consumes MASSIVE amount of electricity, the lathe alone consumes so much it sometimes causes powercuts in the house by overloading (or whatever happens, sue me I'm no electrical engineer)
>I cannot comprehend why I have to pay one third of the electricity bill when my father uses over 50%, potentially even more
>suggest a compromise at one quarter, and he goes off on me shouting and being aggressive
>bring up the internet restriction and ask if he intends to continue limiting the time while I am paying for the service
>says yes
>I am in shock, I cannot even BEGIN to understand the thought process, the controlling nature of my father really came into light
>argue about it for a while
>for the first time in my life I am shouting at my father, and subtley tell him he's a shit parent
The advice I'm looking for is;
- How can I have rational conversation with a person like this, is there any legality in refusing to pay if he doesn't remove the restriction?
- How much would YOU consider fair in terms of bills?
- ANYTHING at all that you think may help me, be as assholeish as you can
>>17304133
That sounds rough mate. I've got a couple of suggestions for you, but I've got a bit of paperwork to get done (I was on site at seven this morning and didn't get home until after the kids were in bed and still haven't managed to get enough done) so I'll come back with those in about half an hour.
In the mean time:
>legality in refusing to pay if he doesn't remove the restriction?
I'm assuming that you don't have a written tennancy agreement with mum and dad, so technically there's no legal requirement for you to pay them anything. That said, they're not under any legal obligation to house you or even allow you to be in the house - or to look at it another way, they could put you out on the street right this minuite and you'd have absolutley no recourse whatsoever. Also:
>lathe
>causes powercuts in the house by overloading
Yes, that'll be overloading the MCB, and it's also bloody insane. I've got a big lathe and a couple of other woodworking machines in a building at the bottom of my garden, and I paid for SSE to install a seperate 3 phase supply (a 415V industrial power supply, like you get in factories and such) to power it all, as a domestic 220V supply just doesn't have the guts to run that kind of gear. He's lucky he's not burned the house down yet.
Tell him you'll pay a third, but you're not happy about it and you don't think it's fair. Then see how much that comes to and how much of your disposable income that takes up. Then think about whether you can move out on your own. You probably can't. Which means that you have to put up with their crap since they are still supporting you.
I'm not saying you're wrong. But you still sound like a millenial. I'm sorry that life isn't always fair.
You're still young. This isn't the end of the world. Land that good job, start earning some real money, and then you can call him a welfare loser if you like when you move out. That's your motivation to succeed and your revenge.
