I've talked to a lot of girls recently, but all of them stop talking to me after a day or two of conversation. I've grown used to it by now, but I'd like to change that. Am I supposed to have fun interests or something? I have no idea. Any help would be appreciated
Its not working because you two don't have chemistry. It might feel like it at first but it's just because the two of you might find each other mildly amusing/attractive Once you find a girl you click with it will be fine.
>>17303248
mostly this. you dont need to be interesting outside of how you interact with that person.
no one really cares about your hobbies or your job or anything like that unless it relates to them. otherwise its just small talk and that gets boring the second time you bring it up.
you as a person, should be able to maintain conversation just by enjoying 'shooting the shit' with someone. if it was a 'who is the most interesting' contest no one would have any friends. cuz were mostly the same.
its not just guys who go surfing and ziplining who get girls.
>>17303178
Do stupid shit that is interesting.
Literally had a girl start to crush because she saw a video of me on ig eating glue. Didn't even know her kek
Perhaps you just talked for a looong time instead of asking them out and they got bored?
>>17303324
was gonna mention this. guys act like they need to have casual conversations for a year to get a girl to like em on this board.
girls already know day one if they want to go on a date with you or not. texting longer just makes it worse cuz they have less mystery to you when you ask em out
>>17303332
Pretty much.
I'd say 3 days of texting is the MAX.
If she says not wait like 2 days.
If she says no again then just fuck off, she's just teasing you to feel pretty.
>>17303352
my general rule is if they say 'no i cant' i generally follow up with a different day or time. if they're still just like 'no' then i dont even bother waiting.
and thats if they're pretty. if they're meh i give up if they dont immediately suggest a different day.
>>17303365
That works to.
The ammount of bitches who just like to tease... is it like a thing? Have psychologists analysed it yet?
>>17303375
from personal experience i dont think its a tease. cuz ive done similar.
imagine if you will that you had ten women hitting on you. all ten women are of varying levels of attractiveness, but its online and you arent sure which ones great.
so you wait around waiting for one of these ten women to impress you in some way. you dont want to just be rude or shallow and say ;ur not my type; cuz they are at least reasonably attractive, but you dont want to commit to a date until they've shown you in some way that they are exceptional, or at least just more fun to be around than someone else.
but they go straight for the kill and with 9 girls waiting, you're like 'eeeeeh im busy'
also keep in mind that girls are the ones who have to turn down so it does get tiring having to say 'sorry this isnt going to happen' cuz half of the guys will call you a bitch, a cunt, a tease, for not deciding immediately that they arent interested in you.
dudes and chicks are actually similar in that regard, ive had a number of women decide 'WELL IM TOO GOOD FOR YOU' cuz i said 'ur not my type'.
were not that different really, the only difference is that women are generally approached more. and that changes the dynamic. if men unanimously agreed to stop hitting on women the tables would turn entirely.
>>17303415
>treating people like assets
>>17303462
how is that treating people like assets?
its literally whether or not you are going to enjoy being with them.
if you want girls to just pick who is the hottest and ignore everyone else, THAT is treating them like an asset.
this is waiting to see who is exceptional. not 'OH HEY IM RICH' but exceptional to YOU.
>>17303462
>>treating people like assets
To be fair, most women do that shit to men. I could admit vise versa
He's right, most people are shallow
>>17303415
I don't think it's like that.
I've had girls approach me first and still do that and I doubt so many of them get hit on by multiple guys at the same time.
And imo it's better to just be honest and say you're interested than to waste someone's time and be "nice".
>>17303487
*not interested
>>17303480
>its shallow to pick an exceptional partner
i think you guys are being too basic with the word 'exceptional'. they arent waiting for you to say you're a rich astronaut who is going to fund their independent music tour. but why would you go on a date with someone you dont find exceptional in any way?
the last girl who dated me did so because we were both conspiracy junkies basically. thats what made me exceptional compared to the other guys.
>i doubt girl had multiple guys hitting on them
on tinder? you're dumb to assume otherwise. in real life? they likely did. girls get hit on daily.
>imo its better to be honest
which is easy to say when you dont have to reject multiple people daily, but if i tell a girl shes just not my type she often throws a fit over it says im ugly or she was just giving me pity or whatever.
and girls get that same experience ten fold. you are saying 'its better to just be honest' because its better for you. walk a mile in their shoes if you're asking to walk a mile in yours.
in a perfect world i agree with you, but i can see why some girls just let it fade out.
if ur time is so precious that someone saying 'no i cant hang out this week' takes up too much of it, then you dont have time to date.
as a general rule you ask twice and she says no twice, shes not into you. not wasting that much of your time buddy.
OP here, thanks for the advice so far
>>17303324
What's considered a long time? They usually stop talking after 2 days
>>17303248
Getting kind of hard to find a girl when the choices are dwindling pretty fast
>>17303365
I do this too, but they never suggest a different time. Fuck me I guess
>>17303480
>most people are shallow
can confirm, everyone I meet is shallow
>>17303487
imo it's better to just be honest and say you're interested than to waste someone's time and be "nice"
Holy fuck, so much this. I would much rather have girls tell me that girls just be honest with me instead of wasting my time
>>17303506
>never suggest a different time.
you gotta, otherwise you live in limbo.
>so you wanna get sushi friday night
>sorry im too busy fucking chad
>cool, let me know how that goes. maybe saturday?
>lol im fucking chad2 that night
>aight
thats it. if they're into you at all they'll be like 'maybe next week?' or something. once in awhile you'll lose the girl who really was just busy and woulda been into you but not enough to follow up, but you know... better than whining about how girls do this all the time
>>17303499
But you're saying women have way better time than a male does. What positive thought could that give a guy? No one likes to feel lead on. A guy to pull up all that courage for an answer and you want women to tell them bullshit lies? What the fuck does a girl have to lose rejecting a guy. At the end of the day, she's waiting for a guy that fits her standards. At least when a guy is honest, he'll most likely walk away from her and cut contact.
>but why would you go on a date with someone you dont find exceptional in any way?
Girls see tall buff guys as a way for security.
Girls see a rich guy with a car as a sign of comfort.
Girls see a guy with bold handsome face as a good genes.
Girls see his social status as approval from the public perception.
If a man doesn't have all that, a woman cant see loving him
>>17303549
i have no car, im 5'6", 'cute' face at best, and zero social status and i date just fine. so do many of the people i know. maybe you're talking about rich models or some shit, but your view of the world seems so fucked up.
you are insisting girls only see men as assets than why bother dating them?
i could never understand your point of view im afraid. good luck with all that.
>what does a girl have to lose by rejecting a guy
no one wants to have someone ranting at them. when you reject someone (whether you are male or female) it makes the other person angry. they often lash out stupidly. im not saying we should tell people 'sorry im busy' but sometimes that just feels like the least stressful option so we do whats best for us, not for you.
>>17303561
>no one wants to have someone ranting at them
Unless you're rejecting him like a jerk and degrading him, there's no reason why the guy will throw a fit at the girl. Again, no one likes being lead on
>you are insisting girls only see men as assets than why bother dating them?
Well I can't go gay
>>17303529
There are a few times where I did that, they never respond. For example: Last Thursday I asked a girl out for dinner, she said she couldn't, I asked if Friday worked, she said yes, gave me her address and I told her the time I'd pick her up.
Friday comes and I text her "About to leave, you ready?" No text back. Ask her "You still up for lunch?" No text back. Friday comes and goes, no texts, nor over the weekend or anything, so I dropped it.
>>17303577
>unless you're rejecting him like a jerk
ive had experiences where i just say 'sorry you're just not my type' and they throw a fit. i know girls who have had similar experiences
>no one likes being lead on
sure, but no one likes being ranted at either. we do whats best for us, not for you. dont blame us becuase other people are assholes.
>well i can't go gay
do you have a car, social status, a handsome face, lots of height, etc? cuz it sounds to me like you're struggling to date despite not having those requirements that women wont even love you without.
consider opening your mind more and not going for what i am afraid to assume is the trashy 'im the prettiest gurl evar' types that will laugh at you if you ask them for directions. im not even saying you have to aim for uggos or fatties, cuz god knows i cant handle that.
but the way you simplify half the entire human race is revolting and very clearly wrong. just look around.
>>17303582
woof, yeah we've all had that. thats about as cunty as it gets tbqh
>>17303599
>but the way you simplify half the entire human race is revolting and very clearly wrong
>Says all men are angry ranters if they are rejected
>>17303312
>Literally had a girl start to crush because she saw a video of me on ig eating glue
Fuck this gay earth.
>>17303599
You are egoistic, assuming the worst in people and simplifying both men and women; for the cherry of the cake you ask him to not simplify women.
Impressive.
>>17303606
i never said all men are angry ranters if rejected. im a man and i dont angry rant. i said 'ive had experiences' and 'i know girls who have had experiences' not 'every man rants when they are rejected'.
i said to blame assholes, not blame everyone.
maybe the reason women dont like you is you dont know how to read.
>>17303506
Start getting involved in the community and meet girls there. Maybe you'll find someone with similar interests. It seems like you're going for quantity and not quality right now. Finding the right girl will be hard. Why do you say that your choices are dwindling?
>>17303636
I'd love to choose quality over quantity, but right now I'm a 21 year old virgin and I just want to get some experience so it's less awkward in the future.
My choices seem to be dwindling because I've been going through quite a few girls and I don't know how many more single girls are in my area.
For reference, I pretty much live in a retirement community, there's a ton of old people
>>17303178
be funny, and do stupid shit. basically just do stuff that entertains them. i think acting like this is stupid and i feel like a dick but guys who do act like this get women. women dont really care about actually interesting things - i.e philosophy or history. they want someone who gets them excited and keeps them on edge
>>17303678
sounds to me like you're too desperate man. you are a virgin and that sucks but you are insisting on quantity over quality and the fact that you admit that shows what kind of vibe you give in conversation.
girls dont want to be just some 'experience' for you. girls want to feel special.
if you dont find them special why would they want to do anything with you?
consider posting a picture of yourself and lets go fro mthere.
