4chan, should I bang my hot friend?
He started drunk flirting with me and playing keepaway, it has now progressed to sober flirting. Lots of teasing, he's made it very clear he's dtf. We've communicated all but directly. He's a cool guy too. A close friend I can tell things to. Adorable.
Now, I'm in a loving relationship with a boy of three years; we're mutual friends with the dude in question. We've talked about boundaries and I'm terms of physical we're hella flexible. We don't usually do stuff with other people because we just don't feel like it, but we know we can. I never thought I would, but I'm just hella curious with this one. I suppose I'm not jumping on that because a. I'm shy af, b. A little self conscious about my body, and c. Experiencing something new and not sure what do.
Oh, and d. No idea how to progress this beyond the flirting. I can't get alone with this guy. My boyfriend lives with me and it just feels really weird to say anything along the lines of "my husband's not home". Hey, I know it's not scummy because I asked my boyfriend what he's comfortable with, but it just feels wrong.
So, 4chan, how do I friends with benefits?
>>17297912
Go ahead and cuck him, just tell him to fuck off and he'll run with his tail between his legs since he's such a beta pussy
>We've talked about boundaries and I'm terms of physical we're hella flexible. We don't usually do stuff with other people because we just don't feel like it, but we know we can.
that's incredibly stupid, assuming you can cheat on your boyfriend and he will be ok with it because of some conversation in the past.
but ya slut it up who cares about meaningful lasting relationships built on trust. wooo yolo sip lean and fuck every hot guy that comes along
>>17298139
Oh ya and also possibly make your bf distrust women for the rest of his life and kill his self esteem
>>17297912
Even in open relationships sleeping with mutual friends is a very bad idea.
Talk to your boyfriend about it, don't be a cunt.
And before you do anything, imagine you'r boyfriend sleeping with another woman you know. See how it feels.
Jesus Christ I'm not going to do something that makes anyone uncomfortable. I wouldn't be asking advice if I didn't care about anyone's feelings.
I thought there were poly people on this website who could help me figure out how these dynamics work since I'm new at the game whoops
>>17298192
It makes her tingly because men holding harems is alpha
>>17298192
I'd honestly feel fine with it but wouldn't want told all the details, so I'm trying to figure out how to bring something like that up with that in mind.
>>17298139
>>17298155
Just because you have fixed ideas about what a relationship is, doesn't mean everyone else does. Perhaps this insecurity is why you're so unhappy?
But I would avoid doing it if he is a mutual friend, especially if you intend on keeping him as a mutual friend.
>>17298195
>I thought there were people on this website who would validate my predetermined decision thus clearing my conscience thereby placing all blame for potential conflict on my bf
Do what you want. Just don't pretend you're asking for honest and impartial advice.
I actually take posts on this board seriously when I compose responses. I'd expect those asking for help to be equally earnest.
>>17298210
Is it really hard for most people to separate their feelings with this sort of thing? I imagine so. I am very good at separating sex from romance, but I don't want to make anyone jealous. I'll tread with caution. Considering saying nah not worth.
>>17298214
You are fine, I am just easily trolled. I don't know what I expected from 4chan other than being brutally roasted. That is how we do here.
>>17298205
Even fine with your bf fucking a close friend of your's ? You need to reconsider everything right now, you want to make a big step. I live in a conservative country but hang out with liberal people and saw a couple of open relationships, all ended because one partner fucked the other partner's close friend.
>>17298195
>I thought there were poly people on this website who could help me figure out how these dynamics work since I'm new at the game whoops
I'm poly so I'll help you out by telling you your idea fucking sucks
You're flirting, you think he's adorable, you could tell him anything, bf is his friend
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
The only way this open relationship can ever work, particularly when you're new to it is to only fuck people you don't know well, don't like in any romantic way, and will not necessarily want to ever fuck again or have a chance of fucking again because they will be out of your life afterwards eg you want tinder dates, people you don't care about losing
If you want a poly relationship to ever work, your boyfriend needs to be fine letting you do it at home because you need to openly tell him that you will be fucking this guy there
You also shouldn't feel weird saying "oh my boyfriend's not home" because if you insist on fucking a friend rather than someone who is essentially a stranger, they also need to know that your boyfriend is completely fine with this
The way you talk about this guy, fucking steer clear of him. This isn't about a kink for you, this isn't about sex or being into polyamory it's about cucking your boyfriend so you can take the new guy for a test drive to see if his sex is good enough to warrant you fully leaving your boyfriend for him
You are doing bad. Never talk to the mutual friend again OR bite the bullet and leave the boyfriend you no longer love
>>17298245
Depends on who.
Tbh I'm asex. My feelings are a lot more impartial about this kind of thing. It doesn't feel as serious, I'm just passively curious. But people usually feel a lot stronger than I do about something like that. I need to remember that with the choices I make.
It sucks desu, feeling so impartial about sex that I can't rely on "if I were in their shoes".
And then there's "if you're asex then why would you even want to try it in the first place". I feel like I have more than a touch of the 'tism in this sitch.
>>17298271
>this whole post
kys desu, you're a living walking meme, not a real person.
>>17298276
Living the meme living the dream, Kony 20212
Thanks y'all, I'll take it to heart. Peace I'm out
>>17297912
Just go for it your only regret the things you don't do and it shouldn't be hard from the way you've made it sound
>>17298271
>Tbh I'm asex
It's like meeting the protagonist of Houellebeque's Soumission. You have no strongly held beliefs or concrete values. You just accept whatever makes you feel good physically regardless of any greater meaning. You are a passive character even in the most important events in your own life.
This right here is the death of western civilization.
I know because I'm the same exact way. I haven't even read Soumission.
>>17298295
I think its just the death of you
>>17298302
I wish. Suicide is the most meaningless act that one can perpetrate. Even in a lifetime of apathy.
>>17298311
I disagree
Ending your own life is the most impactful thing you can do
You take control of your own destiny and make a conscious decision to end it
There's no inherent meaning in life anyway, if you think so you're an idealistic fool
There are benefits to being a living meme. You can go where mankind cannot follow. Two hundred years from now people will be muttering my name, and children will say, shut up grandma, that is so old, where on the internet did you even find that.
