How do I stop being an edgy teenager? I'm 26 and still think highschool-tier edgy thoughts, secretly glad when tragedies happen, and black is my go-to color for clothing. I still do all this stuff and I don't like it. I know that it's immature and it brings me shame. I don't post anything on Facebook because everything I think about posting is cynical or edgy and I have to stop myself from posting stupid shit on other peoples posts too.
Plus the ridiculous self-righteousness and justification I feel about acting like such a little shit. I'm right and everyone else is wrong attitude. It takes constant conscious effort to battle my feelings.
Here has been my almost daily routine for the past 2 years to facilitate a better lifestyle:
>do a morning and evening meditation
>write a gratitude list of 5 things I'm grateful for in life
>make conscious effort not to comment on any sort of discussion or voice opinion on anything unless I've already crafted a PC response for it.
>make no posts on FB unless it is totally PC/non-edgy
>reading stoic philosophy and buddhist books
But the thoughts just won't quit and I'm really tired of it. People think I'm a really nice guy because I make such an effort to act normal, but I want to think and feel it, too. Any advice? I'd hate to have to battle myself on this forever.
I've also struggled with drugs/alcohol and self harm in the past and currently take anti-psychotic/anti-seizure meds for mood stabilization.
Also how do I dress myself as a mid 20s guy? My go-to outside work clothing is bandshirts, rolled up blue jeans and doc martens because I just have no idea what else to do. Any attempts to change are met with extreme self-doubt and a retreat back into what's comfortable.
Recognizing that it's childish is the first step. You're already on your way to getting rid of it.
As for your fashion, there's nothing wrong with slacks and polo shirts. But if you need 100 people to simultaneously give you bad advice, you can always ask /fa/.
>>17296626
Serious question: what is an edgelord?
>Here has been my almost daily routine for the past 2 years to facilitate a better lifestyle:
>>do a morning and evening meditation
>>write a gratitude list of 5 things I'm grateful for in life
>>make conscious effort not to comment on any sort of discussion or voice opinion on anything unless I've already crafted a PC response for it.
>>make no posts on FB unless it is totally PC/non-edgy
>>reading stoic philosophy and buddhist books
Being grateful and appreciative is a good thing, and while it's also a good idea to learn when to share your opinion, and when to not (which is most of the time), most of the rest sounds like you're simply emasculating yourself. It reads like a recipe for being a massive disingenuous ponce. Don't be overly introspective.
>bandshirts, rolled up blue jeans and doc martens
blast from the past
>>17296626
>I've also struggled with drugs/alcohol and self harm in the past and currently take anti-psychotic/anti-seizure meds for mood stabilization
increase or change meds. sounds like you may be just an increase away from being totally fine, because you already act like a good guy, and if you're telling the truth, have a spiritual practice that would totally satisfy and improve regular peoples lives immensely. since you've struggled with self harm and drug abuse in the past and are currently on meds, a feeling of disillusionment/ permanently out of place may be part of your particular disorder and totally fixable.
>>17296695
>Don't be overly introspective.
>Serious question: what is an edgelord?
haha
>>17296626
Maybe you're still doing something that's still the same, if your mindset (at least the edgy part) is still the same. Maybe browsing certain parts of 4chan?
As for dressing yourself, I'd recommend reddit/r/mfa, rather than /fa/, the latter has more interesting fashion, but is super defensive about its memes and you might end up dresses like Kanye. Reddit has its memes too, but even if you settled for those, it's more or less "normie" clothing, so nobody irl would bat an eye.
I suggest going for basic stuff, without crazy designs, at first. Rather watch for -quality- and -fit-. Also, would greatly help, if you're in shape yourself (if you're not, working out would also help your mental state, since it's great stress release).
>>17296626
before I imposed christianity on myself I felt very good for the dead when tragedy occurrred because I could only see life as a ceaseless grinder
