Text Nerves
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
>recently broke up with gf
>my main problem when dating has not gone away
>whenever I text a girl, I get nervous, and if she doesn't reply quickly I start feeling shit and become convinced that she's lost interest and is ghosting me
>never give this away, or mention it, because I know it's really fucking stupid, but it's annoying and throws me off my game a bit
How do I get over the nervousness, and certainty that they've decided to ignore me when I text?
bump
>>17295473
You start juggling way more women, so that you don't stress over one not replying, because you have others to talk to
>>17295692
I'll try this, but I still generally end up having a couple of favourites when I'm juggling
>>17295473
Sounds like you were in a pretty deep relationship with your ex. Things went sour and the shit hit the fan. How long has it been since y'all broke up?
You need more self-confidence and I think going to the gym or running will help you greatly. Find something enjoyable to do and don't rush into relationships.
I was in a pretty bad fucking relationship. She was schizophrenic and she saw fit but I didn't know this when I started to date her. She was wonderful but then she started using your ship and all that. Anyway I loved her and it really took some time to compose myself after the fact that we broke up. I now feel fine with what happened because it made me a stronger man because now thinking back I wouldn't have taken her shit that I did when we were dating.
Anyway the point is I didn't rush the relationship are dating girls after it happened. I think that you need time away from the dating scene and start working out or running to feel good again to build that self-confidence.
>>17295800
Good call, things did go sour and shit hit the fan, but we ended v amicably
desu it's only been a couple days since we properly ended it, but I've been half-avoiding her and mentally getting over it for about a month
I get what you're saying but I think I would feel kinda empty without girls to focus on - they're a nice distraction. Defs don't want a relationship now tho. I'll head to the gym, for sure, I kinda let it slip in the past month. Thanks, anon
>>17295835
No problem brother. Wish you the best of luck.
Anxiety is a bitch and I've ruined friendships over it in the past. Don't give up on them, they probably feel the same way as you. Misunderstandings happen very easily, especially if you aren't up front about how you feel. Get it off your chest and talk about it. Chances are they are just as anxious as you.
Sometimes there are genuine reasons for not replying like just being busy, feeling burnt out, not knowing what to say etc etc.
Give it another chance. Put it all out there, explain how you feel and your fears. Make them perfectly aware that when they don't answer you get anxious and feel like you are being ignored and if they give a shit they will make an effort to answer you. The way they reply is probably normal to them and don't realise how you feel. I lost my best friend acting dumb like this. Wish I had taken my own advice. Don't be me anon
>>17295473
Instead of texting, press the little button on the phone that lets you actually speak into it and talk to the girl, using your mouth and words, just like a real live human being.
How about inviting them to hang out? That can be a good talking point. I had a long distance relationship and I sometimes felt it was sagging (for lack of a better word) but it always went back to 100% after we saw each other
