I will bump for you

>>17293545
Go to an ER and tell them you want to kill yourself.

>>17293554
>op just trying to find some weed
>"DONT KILL YOURSELF OP"

OP order pizza and ask if the guy is cool. Ask if he knows where to find any tree. Also ask young black guys working at gas stations etc

I did

>>17293563
Think I will, actually. Weed hasn't worked on me in the past but maybe if I find the right strain...

>>17293548
Thanks

>>17293563
>looks like this is it guys
>I am suicidal
Did we read the same post?

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98 KB, 852x1136

>>17293545
Actually the only reason I'm not dead yet is because I made a promise to my one living parent not to do it. That does not mean I don't want to end my life this instant. I am trying to keep a promise.

>>17293545
bump

>>17293570
you didn't inhale. there is no mechanism for weed to "not work"

please don't argue about this, there is no mechanism for weed to not work the first time or whatever you've heard repeated. it's preposterous, you just didn't inhale

>>17293738
By "not work" I mean it didn't lift my depression in any way - it just made my thoughts slow down. Believe me, I've had the finest Kush. Pink Ladies, Bruce Banner, Sour D. I've been HIGH. Nothin'.

Bump for OPs search for an herbal alt

>>17293750
It's not going to make your depression go away. It's going to cloud it to help you move on.

You got taken advantage of by a bad person. It's hard to reconcile this or feel better about it. The way out is through. Clouding the past a little, even for a few hours, sometimes helps with that in my experience.

If you don't enjoy it, probably a bad idea. But it can help you get away in the same way as drinking, with obviously a miniscule fraction of the danger.

>>17293806
>>17293821
Thanks

>>17294114
Weed is generally a downer/depressant, and will fuck you up more if you're prone to depression.

My advice would be to control your dosage and delivery method so it leaves you buzzing and not a vegetable.

Or smoke meth instead. That's an upper.

>>17294169
being a "depressant" doesn't mean it yields depression. The two are completely unrelated.

I'm pretty sure in most cases taking meth will lead to depression more often than weed. When you realize you live under a bridge and have 4 teeth and your daughter who was almost in college is actually a dead dog

>>17294174
I know it doesn't cause it, hat's why I said 'if you are prone to depression'

Yeah bad idea taking meth. Not recommended. Just an example of a short term upper.

I'm way too dependent on people. I'll never be happy in a relationship. I'll never be happy single either. I can't stop being like this.

>>17294224
Try 4 cups of jasmine green tea per day, heavy on the jasmine, with a slice of lemon. Try using St. John's wort tincture in tiny doses at each meal, raising it every day until you feel better - or alternatively pop rhodiola rosea pills from Gaia. The website www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk cuts a dent in my depression. I personally use coffee, tea, omega 3s, St. John's wort, and a hell of a lot of amino acids for "melancholic" depression, and it's still not enough, but it's something. I don't know how to fix the problem of relying on other people for happiness, but I'm working on it too.

I'm trying something new with the St. John's wort; one drop of the tincture in a glass of water whenever I start to wallow in despair, with food. So far no nausea and feeling a little less like shit. I've got experience with herbal supplements, though, and don't have much hope in this stuff long-term.

>>17294500
It doesn't do anything. Physical exercise will yield 500x the result, but requires, of course, work.

>>17294752
Yeah uh, about that. I trained heavily for ROTC at one point and that caused a total crash - no energy, crying all the time, twinkles and fairies, etc. I'm currently amping up my workout routine slowly.

>>17293545
Occasional pot, exercise daily, and actually eating right and hydrating can do wonders. That said, I STILL don't feel all right after what happened to you happened to me, and it's been 2 years.

I'll post later with my own problems, but I just want you to know it's okay to take a moment and wander and wallow for a bit.

>>17294767
that's a psychological reaction, has nothing to do with the physical training.

>>17294775
Really? I'm actually pretty curious about this. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism after the fact; currently taking pills for that. It took years to balance and I'm still feeling tired; maybe that part is psychological.

>>17293608
I know that feel op, I'm not in the same position as you, but suicidal thoughts cross my mind on a daily basis. Why haven't I? I know it would ruin my mother and I guess I have a shred of hope still somewhere buried deep inside in me.

>>17294797
I wish this shit were better researched. Suicidal ideation and depression is seen as mental weakness instead of the bodily fuckup it is, preventing proper treatment.

>>17294788
>I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism after the fact

oh, well, in that case it was probably physical. haha. you might have just needed more calories, sounds like low blood sugar to me. isn't that an effect of HT?

>>17294835
Holy shit, I didn't know that! Thanks!

>>17294865
>>17294865
>get diagnosed with a disease
>don't learn every single bit of minutae about it
>don't learn even general, broad effects of the disease

what the fuck man

>>17294875
I... I tried, sempai.

I'm currently not depressed at all. I know it's going to come back. It always does. How can I build my defenses while I have self control? Whatever positive steps I take always seem to get undone by waves of extreme self hatred. I'm not sure if I should consider medication or therapy. I have a history of alcoholism and suicide in my family if that is important.

>>17294883
Best advice? Trial-and-error natural antidepressants while you're still feeling good. Rhodiola, sedatives like skullcap valerian and lemon balm, St. John's wort, coffee, jasmine green tea, and omega-3s are a start. You may even try small doses of lithium orotate (5 mg/day) with omega 3 oil if you think you may be bipolar. https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome/new/ has free cognitive behavioral therapy, and the balancing brain chemistry website I mentioned earlier has good shit in it. Also stay in touch with the people who care about you, and avoid fake friends at all costs (including "family")

>>17293563
Sweet tooth the strain is the only kind i ever missed . brightens myvdays right up and tastes fuckibg amazeballs.

Sol seeds did good.

>>17293545
Marijuana. Lots of it.

>>17293563
Look up how to pick psychoactive mushrooms from cowfields, it worked for me. You're already suicidal just do a handful and you might get over this a little quicker. If you're not into risky business though, go look into outpatient programs in your area and the success rates with that. Some programs work, some don't but I've always felt that with suicide a weekly therapy isn't really enough. mushrooms are cheapr though

>>17294883
Read "getting out of your mind and into your life" it's a workshop book that helps you get better control over these types of things and helps you endure them better. Skim a pdf online first before you do the whole thing though as it's not for everybody.

>>17294928
Hmmmm. It would be a terrible idea if not for the suicidal ideation. Therefore it is not a bad idea at all.

I was on antidepressents for a year and a half, and they made a major difference. Give them a try.

>>17296038
This. Whats with all this natural, herbal, bullshit?

Also, OP, have you considered that you might be depressed because Chicago is fucking terrible?

>>17296087

Chicago isn't that bad?

>>17296289
I've lived here more than three decades. Its garbage. Its my garbage, and I love it, but we all know we're basically Detroit with yuppies instead of wild dogs and a cost of living that borders on retarded.