Why are you texting her when she's with her friends if you know she's like this?

>>17292850
Stop texting and call instead.

If she asks why you called you tell her it takes too long to get a text response.

>>17292860
That's actually a really good question. Usually we're having a convo before she goes out with them, and once she gets with them it kinda just ends

>>17292868
If my boyfriend called me when he knew he was with my friends, I'd ignore the call and text him that I was busy.

>>17292874
If you know she's with her friends and that she doesn't text back quickly when she's with her friends, why are you expecting her to text back quickly? And why are you sitting around waiting for her to text back anyway? Get on with your life when she's not with you and text back when you see she's texted, don't sit by your phone, waiting. You're not her entire life, why is she yours?

>>17292875
What the fuck, why? If he knows you're with your friends he probably needs a reply.

OP here. I'm just upset at the fact that when we're together she's always checking her phone and replying to texts. But when she's with friends she hardly touches her phone

It's really simple. Either tolerate it and stay together or break up if it's not negotiable. You can't change her and it is equally disrespectful of you to try

>>17292883
He wants to know why he is treated differently, and why she goes to such lengths to avoid discussing it.

I don't know the answer, but you have not even addressed his concern.

>>17292884
Because I'm busy? OP says here >>17292874 that the conversation isn't anything special, it's just regular conversation. If my boyfriend wants something important, he can text me back telling me it's important and then I'll slip away to answer his call, and that's happened before, but I'm not going to have a casual chat with him on the phone while I'm with friends.

>>17292891
Yes, this is the issue I'm talking about. If she didn't reply to her friends while with me then this wouldn't be any concern

>>17292888
Tell her that, but also throw in some "what if i needed to get a hold of you for something important?"

>>17292891
No, I agree I'm not addressing his concerns, but I'm questioning why they've come about in the first place.

>>17292895
The thing is, when she's with me she'll have a casual chat with her friends over text

Best case scenario is that she feels comfortable being less polite to you because she's around you more and/or she also gives you more positive signals. There's more distance between friends so etiquette is more strict there.

I would not focus on the disparity but on not liking it that she lets texts interrupt your conversations. I would just respond right when it happens, in a sincere way. Let it shine through if you don't feel like continuing the conversation anymore after she whipped out her phone while you were telling her something important to you. I don't mean in a petty demonstrative sense, do it when you really feel yourself tuning out. Try not to be accusative but just tell it as it is - that you're tired of her phone being in the way of quality time, that it makes you feel like you have to compete for her attention, that you want to be able to sit down and talk without feeling like it can be interrupted at any given moment. That it takes away part of your enthusiasm to then continue like nothing happened.

As soon as she acknowledges that this is a problem, I would suggest that she turns off sound and vibration, tells friends to call instead when there's an emergency, and trains herself to check for texts when there's an actual lull in the conversation. At first that'll be frustrating for her, but eventually I'm sure she feels more at peace as well when she makes the decision whether to let in other people's business or not.

>>17292888
What do you two do when you're together? What does she do with friends?

>>17292895
Then answer your god damn texts bitch. Or say you need some space while you hang with your friends.

>>17292911
>Then answer your god damn texts bitch.
I'll answer them when I see them

>Or say you need some space while you hang with your friends.
He already knows this because he's not a retard and I don't have to spell everything out for him.

>>17292903
He said why. It has come up because she seems to be aware of the problem and actively refuses to discuss it. He just wants to know what's going on and since the girl is stonewalling him, he can't even ask her.

>>17292850
If I were with a girl like this I would assume she was with me because she wants a boyfriend, not because she particularly likes me or enjoys my company. But that's me.

Maybe she finds you to be very demanding and conversation with you is stressful.

Whatever it is, I think if a woman kept showing a strong preference to paying attention to their phone over me, I would stop taking her seriously as a romantic interest and either keep her around as the person I have sex with on a regular basis, or if I wanted a romantic relationship, I would look for someone else.

>>17292895
>Because I'm busy?
How does that justify ignoring all attempts at communication? What if he actually needs to reach you, or wants to ask you something quickly? That just seems so thoughtless and cruel to 100% absolutely not care what he has to say under any circumstances, regardless of what it is. Is this just how women think, or what?

>>17292906
This is the best advice I've gotten thus far, thank you. Now that you mention it I think it is just because she feels more comfortable around me

>>17292928
Did you not read the rest of what I said? I'll reply to a text when I see it. If he calls, I'll text him telling him I'm busy. If he replies telling me it's important, I'll slip away and answer the call. I'm not going to drop everything in the middle of socialising with friends because my boyfriend wants to chat about something he can tell me about later.

>>17292890
When we're together it's usually the same as when she's with friends, just sitting and talking or eating somewhere

>>17292942
Does she hang out with friends one on one, or is it almost always in a group? A group setting is generally a lot more engaging than being with one person, so if she's in a group then chances are the reason that she doesn't reply is that she's just a lot more socially engaged than when she's with you and that it's your own insecurities causing you to freak out about this. Mystery solved.

>>17292937
OP here. It makes sense that you wouldn't drop everything to chat with your boyfriend. My problem is that she drops socialising with me to text her friends

>>17292953
See >>17292951

>>17292951
>>17292961
Yeah she's usually with a group of friends, that makes sense. If she's only with one friend she tends to reply faster

>>17292930
Yeah, that's fairly common. It can be hard to note for an insider when being comfortable starts to look a bit like being careless. I think the reason she doesn't have much to say in return is because she realizes she maintains double standards, but it still feels rude to her to change her behavior, especially now that all her friends are used to it.

So, in advance, when she brings up that argument, tell her to put the blame on you. She can tell all her friends that you got sick of her texting in between and asked her to do it strategically. Any normal friend would be fine with that explanation and it takes some of the pressure off your girlfriend.

>>17292970
Like I said, mystery solved. It's not that she doesn't care about you or that she disrespects you, it's just basic social dynamics. It sounds obvious, but it can be a difficult idea to communicate, which explains why she can't answer when you confront her about it. There's really no advice to give you but 'get over it,' because what she's doing is entirely normal