Dating dynamics
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Why is dating so fucked on the USA? Women expect men to do all the driving and pay for the date. It seems like every woman aged 20-29 is like this. Why is that?
A date to a dinner and movie which is standard probably costs 50-70 dollars if the dude pays for everything.
i heard women say shit like, "it's a mans job to pay so the woman feels feminine." WHAT?!
What am I missing? Why is dating so ducked? Why do women not want to pay for dates? Imagine if the role was reversed. Not only that, but imagine if the girl ends up not liking you but eats the dinner and watched the movie anyway?
This is why splitting should be the norm so nobody gets screeed over. I don't know any girl who ends dates early unless the date is shit. But they will eat the dinner and watch the movie even if they don't plan on seeing you again.
What the Fick?
>>17292257
You're the one asking her out, and trying to get her favor. You're showing you're interested, she's giving you a chance. Pay.
Or if she asks you out, she should probably pay.
You can always ask if she'd like to split, but she's probably going to say no, so there's your choice.
If you want to play the game, understand the rules, or just don't play. No one is forcing you.
>>17292257
If you are friends with a girl first it is a lot easier. Not friendzoned, but she is part of your social circle.
Dating randoms never works well. And the more you push for a relationship the more predatory women are gonna jump on you.
>>17292257
Dating in America right now is fucked because of hookup culture.
>>17292276
Fuck you. What you just said is pure fucking unhinged bull shit. The average dinner and movie date costs roughly 50-70 dollars. Are you saying maybe 3 hours of a woman's time is worth fucking 50-70 dollars?
Let's compare this to other things. Average video costs 60 dollars. You probably would get 40-60 hours of fun out of the game.
So let's do some math. Pay 50-70 dollars for for 3 hours of a woman's time and she may even decide she never wants to see you again but eat the food and see the movie still.
Or
A video game that is for sure going to give almost 20 times the amount of entertainment that a dinner date would?
The biggest problem to me is the girl eating the food and seeing the movie and then saying she doesn't want another date. So it leaves dudes feeling like they just payed to get screwed over.
I dunno, op. When going to dinner with a female friend, she'll insist I drive her even if it's her car. There's no romantic thing going on, either. I'm like her gay friend without the gay part.
I agree with what others said.. gotta play the game if you wanna get the pussy.
>>17292335
What if you don't care about pussy. I honestly don't care if I get laid or not. I have spent 25 years of my life alone already. Women holding sex over my head does nothing.
This is also why online dating is complete fucking AIDS.
>>17292257
why are you taking out a girl if they arent worth your time? just ask them to coffee, its the number one popular first date in the world and at best woudl cost you like ten bucks.
if you like them and they arent gold diggers go from there. but it sounds to me like you're more mad that you let your self be taken advantage of
>>17292276
No, you go on a date because you are both interested in each other. It is not a duty nor a favor.
What an awful answer.
>>17292303
Why the fuck are you taking someone to a full dinner and a movie for the first fucking date? Go to a happy hour, go get coffee, something where you can determine if there's mutual interest in the first place. That'll cost you $10-15.
Most girls I know don't want a guy to pick them up either once they're outside of high school, so maybe you just haven't been on a date in forever.
I mean, this is the thing... You find your precious vidya more fun than actually spending time getting to know someone, so you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place until you figure out your priorities.
>>17292303
>women are products
you are not buying a woman or her time. you are saying ' i want to get to know you ' so you are financing that.
to go up to a woman and say 'hey, you dont know me, but hang out with me, oh btw you gotta pay for whatever i decide we do '.
you take a girl out to show she is exceptional. if you dont want to do that JUST TAKE A GIRL OUT FOR COFFEE.
>>17292303
ita fucked, yes, and one reason for it is simply because you and me as men have it slightly easier to get good paying jobs (be it by the fact that we have a dick or by the fact that we are trained to compete from young ages, or whatever else). so yes, theres some inequality going on.
now, these things doesnt fix themselves instantly, and i would say the western societies have to offer another two generations or so while do our best to raise our kids. why should guys be expected to enjoy sex more than women? why should we expect girls to leave their opinions in favor of men's? why should guys, instead of girls, be expected to pay for the date?
it fucking sucks that these discussions always become toxic because of extremist sjw's
>>17292390
In a perfect world, sure. But it isn't. Frankly, you're being auditioned. Shit, you should be auditioning her, too. There may be an initial attraction but you need to prove to each other that you're right for each other.
>>17292403
mostly this. i dont understand who is asking how girls tehy barely know taking them to dinner and a movie like this is the seventies or something.
ask a girl otu for coffee. ten bucks max. if shes too good for that then 1) she isnt in to you 2)even if she was shes too high maintenance
stop acting like girls are only allowed to go to a fancy restaurant and a movie.
jesus even in los angelse my last dinner date at a nice sushi restaurant was only 23 bucks for two people.
Yea it's kinda fucked, especially if she EXPECTS you to pay. If she hasn't offered/insisted by the 3rd date you are most likely dating a gold digger. Me and my girlfriend split everything 50/50 and take turns paying for dates.
That's how it should be, unless of course one of you is staying home to raise the kids.
>>17292257
why are you making the first date so expensive? a date should be about getting to know each other.
take her to the park and feed the ducks, buy her a hot dog and a drink, and that shouldn't come down to more than 20 bucks including your half.
better yet, take her to a cafe and grab a coffee with her. shouldn't be more than 10 bucks for both of you with a dessert in between.
the 50~70 dollar dates should be when you guys are going steady and can agree to take turns paying for each other or split the cost.
don't expect that the more money you throw at her, the more she'll like you. that's just asking to be used.
anyways, if you asked her out, the etiquette is to pay for her half too. same goes for girls who ask guys out; the girl should pay for the guy's time.
>>17292303
You sound like a hyper-critical fucking idiot.
You've led yourself into this and then complain about it. Yes.. The whole world should change for you because you are too dumb to lead yourself out of the situations you keep putting yourself in.
The answer is simple... but you should keep in having a winge like a little bitch.
>>17292430
mostly this. i dont spend that kind of money on a date unless this is the one where im asking for us to go steady or some shit.
>>17292257
this is probably the standard in the dating world but all of my girlfriends have either been totally fine with splitting or wanted to pay for me more than half of the time because they were raised that way
i think you're just going after shitty women. who cares if she expects you to pay or thinks it's a man's job to do whatever? just tell the bitch nah and move on to someone you actually agree with
i swear these people's anger is completely misguided
>>17292303
Holy shit fag. Video games are fucking boring. Play your "super entertaining fun" video games or stop crying
Oh look, Boner-Boy is back from his ban. Gonna have to do something about that. I can keep this up longer than you can, you know.
>Why is dating so fucked on the USA?
If you think it's different anywhere else, you are sorely mistaken.
>Women expect men to do all the driving and pay for the date. It seems like every woman aged 20-29 is like this. Why is that?
To filter out people like you. There were once other reasons, but they have long since fallen away, and frankly the world is a better place for that. But as a filter, it is still quite useful, so the practice continues.
>A date to a dinner and movie which is standard probably costs 50-70 dollars if the dude pays for everything.
"Probably"? Do you mean to say you don't know? Do your fucking homework before you go on ranting about social issues.
>i heard women say shit like, "it's a mans job to pay so the woman feels feminine." WHAT?!
Can't say I've ever heard that one. But if I had to hazard a guess, it means that she wants to feel like he's actually interested in HER, rather than just looking to get his dick wet.
>Not only that, but imagine if the girl ends up not liking you but eats the dinner and watched the movie anyway?
So what? That's the risk one always takes when dating. If you want to buy a set of holes, this is literally what hookers are for. If you want something more meaningful, you can't buy that.
>This is why splitting should be the norm so nobody gets screeed over.
You aren't getting screwed over when a date doesn't pan out. You still got a nice meal out, a decent movie, and some company.
>I don't know any girl who ends dates early unless the date is shit.
No, no, they don't. Why would they, unless the fun gets totally ruined?
>But they will eat the dinner and watch the movie even if they don't plan on seeing you again.
While they're still making up their minds, you mean? Sure. Why not? You didn't buy a guarantee; those are not for sale.
>What the Fick?
You are not ready.
>>17292536
So Boner-Boy, I'm going to be totally honest with you for a moment.
You're growing. You're actually growing. You've been posting the same fucking questions here for a year now, so I've had the chance to see it. Your arguments, while still not compelling, are getting better. Your hard-line stance, once as hard-line as I've ever seen here, is softening. Your reasoning... well, you're actually starting to get some. It's all happening bit by bit, but that's how personal growth usually works. I told you to grow the fuck up, and that's what you're doing. You may not see it yet, but I do.
There is hope for you yet, and believe me, I'd like nothing more than to see you get out of this. Every time you get banned, you come back here just a little bit better. I don't know if any of that has to do with us -I suspect that just being off of 4chan has more to do with it than anything else- but I would like to think that /adv/ is a part of the catalyst for this change in you. You may wind up becoming our greatest success.
So I'm going to keep doing what I do. Boner-Boy please go. Others please report and sage. Mods please global-permaban.
>>17292484
not him but if you're a male under age 30 and you find video games boring you should commit suicide
Honestly, women need to stop being so sheepish. Dudes act the way they do because women lead dudes on. Not say what's on their minds and often times do more harm to the guy if they had just said "not interested".
>>17292603
People usually have no idea if they're interested which is why we go on dates to get to know each other.
>>17292603
There's a lot of assumption on both ends about what is or isn't expected. Bottom line is to just communicate, and if a woman says she needs the man to pay so she can feel more feminine (like what OP has heard) then you better respond with a line that will clear things up. If anything, if someone can't tell another person how they feel about a situation that involves them both, then perhaps someone is too immature to be a relationship anyway..
>>17292375
From what I'm reading this is p much it.
I've gathered from this thread that
>boys don't like hookup culture
>want the casual/cheaper/new age customs that come from said culture
They also
>want to date in a traditional sense
>do not want to adhere to traditional customs.
It's nobody's fault you paid a mini dowry for a stupid date op.
>>17292257
Because it's still an unequal patriarchal shithole. I was raised in Europe and Scandinavia. In Scandinavia, where I now live, women who aren't complete whores pay for their share, you're expected to cater to each other equally, work equally, father's get paternity leave. Most people aren't religious so that's a factor too. Americans are way too traditional and patriarchal, I never want to live there again. People on 4chan whine about feminism but desu it brings a shitton of benefits for men. They're not expected to be some supreme gentlemen catering to entitled bitchy princesses who sit at home and eat bonbons like in the US.
>>17292881
In America and Scandinavia, I meant.
>>17292257
honestly if a girl leaves after you pay for the dinner then its good because then you know who she is deep down inside, saves both of you time. if she stays but doesnt like you, maybe shes being respectful, but should still be wary of being used. and if she likes you then woo hoo! also its not that its "feminine", i think she doesnt know how to explain it. its just that if you dont its seen as rude, because youre the one interested in her. if she came to you first, then it would be different and she wouldnt see it as rude. (im a girl)
>>17292303
then why not do something cheaper? tons of other romantic things that arent costly. like eating ice cream in a big ass park. be creative u slob.
>>17292393
because hes a sad normie
>>17292426
or maybe shes poor?
