I'm usually the peacemaker of my group - or at least capable of turning situations that could cause a scene into awkward tension, at the least.
Today is one of my best friends' 30th birthday, it's a surprise thrown by her parents at their very expensive home. Her sister ended up inviting this guy Mike, who used to be one of our best friends, but we've (especially me) had a complete falling out with him until recently. Now he and I are "cool," and can have a civil conversation, but yeah. He's dealing with alcohol issues and the past three times I've seen him, he's gotten loud, drunk, obnoxious, and has caused a scene. Our other friend, Steve, is on roids or something and can't stand him anymore.
So I'm anticipating they're going to make a scene and really cause a problem at my friend's parents' place when they get drunk today.
Still, Mike doesn't really like me, I feel like there's nothing I can do. Should I give up on peacemaking and just watch the world burn today?
>>17292117
Well, Mike already doesn't like you. Just contact him and tell him that you'd rather not have him there.
>>17292117
Give up on peacemaking and just let the world burn. When it's over, regroup with your closer friends and tell them about your concerns.
If you let your suspicions out early or to the wrong people, you will likely be blamed even if right. It's easier to wait until it's over without getting involved, claim foreknowledge, and hope they believe you.
Basically, if they would cause a scene, pointing it out or warning them beforehand will not stop it, but they will blame you for getting them worked up or stressing them out. In reality they never should have come because they were asking for trouble, but no one will ever accept that answer.
>>17292130
I didn't extend the invite. It's not mine to rescind, it's her sister's. We talked about uninviting him once I told her what was going on, but realized that it may end up to be more trouble than it's worth now that he knows about it.
>>17292138
My friends don't really need to be regrouped with, we all kind of feel the same way. We don't want to abandon him at a rough time in his life, but bringing him to a really upscale house with a bunch of free booze wouldn't have been our first plan. But still good advice.
>>17292147
>My friends don't really need to be regrouped with, we all kind of feel the same way
Still, don't rock the boat. Leading them away from the fire won't help you in the long run if they never get the chance to see it. If you want to come on top, you have to leave nothing uncertain to them and lead them out of the fire.
When it comes down to it, Mike will probably still be given the chance to defend himself he will probably lie out his ass to do it. Don't make it about your word against his, let it happen on its own. You shouldn't put yourself in the line of fire even if it seems safe.
