We're here to listen.
Last thread: >>17277566
>>17288012
I absolutely loathe meme culture. I feel like people are unable to have a discussion on the Internet at all without including some stupid, unoriginal recycled online joke.
It's especially prevalent on this site too. Everything is fucking "meme" this "cuck" that.
Are people able to have a fucking discussion without having to use these stupid internet idioms?
>>17288021
In a month when you message me, don't be surprised when I don't message you back. Please stop toying with me.
>>17288021
No. My pet theory is that it's a product of introverted nerds with poor social skills feeling the need for canned catchephrases/responses.
>>17288031
i understand. sorry i wont bother you again
>>17288031
In a month i'll have changed numbers and will be long gone. Please stop toying yourself.
>>17288037
Possibly. If I had a dollar for every single time that someone on here has called me a "cuck" or "x is a meme" I'd have thousands upon thousands of dollars. It's like some defence mechanism or clutch when they can't come up with a reasonable well thought out response so they resort to shit posting.
I hate online moderation but these people must have literally nothing better to do with their time if they can just waste their days shitposting.
I honestly think there has to be a mental problem upstairs if you get your kicks out of harassing people online all day.
>>17288044
It's not like you actually bother with me anyways. You're fine going weeks without even asking about my day. I yearned for your affection. Instead, I was met with cold behavior.
>>17288045
>i'll have changed numbers and be long gone
thats probably for the best then.
>>17288037
I thought so too, until I realized that it's not just introverted nerds who completely lack the ability to communicate their emotional responses to stimuli.
Hence why memes are mainstream now and whenever I check facebook I see a gigantic tide of 9gag and hundreds of theoretically "normal" people responding to events in their lives by reposting memes.
And it's not like it's just this generation either: our parents often simply didn't communicate these responses at all, just held them inside. Or at best, shared them over a bottle of whiskey or a 12-pack of beer.
I feel like I haven't been here in a while. I don't know what to vent about anymore, I don't know what to say.
I'm confused. I'm just going with the flow. I got what I wanted and worked so long and hard for: I got her back.
But after the fact is a whole new challenge. To put up with her problems and stay with her until she's better. But how do I do that? Do I play an active role? Do I stay passive and wait? Do I work from the sides? Is it even possible to change her? Is she even open to changing and getting better? How long will I have to wait?
Those are a few questions. There are more though. Could I be wrong about this whole thing? Is the situation not even as I think it is? Like, does she even really give a shit about me? Does she really even want me? Maybe she just want me for the attention and that's it? No...see, this is why I came here. I get to talk to myself and get answers.
It doesn't seem possible that she doesn't really care about me no matter how she treats me. I should just take it and bring it up to her in a very honest and non-accusatory way. That way she'll most likely listen better. Wow. It make so much sense.... I was confused about my other solutions as to how they'd work but this one is obviously the best choice.
But just to consider possibilities, could this really all be a game? Or her uncertainty/confusion? Perhaps, honestly, in the end, when she fixes her problems, she'll actually come to realize there's nothing for her between us...see, that's actually a reasonable possibility.
But that's not worth paying attention too because it's part of the risk I chose to take.
What do I do then? It's funny. When I came here, there were a million thoughts racing through my head...I couldn't get even close to all of them on here but now, as I write, I realize I can't recall any of them. They've melted away. I feel good again. I feel safe.
I'm sure they'll come back though. I'll try to think of them again and solve them in my head this time.
>>17288012
I have trouble sleeping I'm so happy over Brexit
What a time to be alive
>>17288051
Maybe you should stay on reddit if you don't like it then you fucking cuck
I know that triggers you, but it means you're pussy ass bitch tryhard fedoralord faggotmaster who has nothing to do but carebear on 4chan
I admit it. I am a bit jealous that my brother basically has a free pass in life because he's mommy's little autistic baby. He doesn't have to get a job. He isn't going to school. He can just have a carefree NEET life. I can't. I have to be the responsible one. I'm the one everyone has such high expectations for and it fucking sucks. I want to make art, and learn interesting shit. Not stress myself into a panic attack because I can't keep a job flipping burgers and now daddy's gonna be disappointed in me.
I want to learn a new sport of some kind, like boxing or skateboarding cause I liked tony hawk games, but I'm too scared of failing and having everyone mock me
I feel bored with life. Sometimes i think if its worth it. I dont feel suicidal, and i dont cut. Im always scared about what will happen after i graduate. I dont know how i will survive alone. Im not looking for pity.
I want you to fall in love for me and for once accept my company and understand that I'd die for you, only to put a smile on that gorgeous face of yours.
It is time to leave.
Thanks, /adv/, 4chan.
I hate being this insecure fat fuck that takes things too seriously and acts like a bitch at times. Im sick of feeling confused and having a lack of ambition in life, I know im worth more and I need to raise my confidence level in general. Its time to change. I love her and I just need to stop being a faggot about things and overthinking every little detail in life.
Feelsgoodman
Sometimes I remind myself of a female jorah mormont.
Oh I didn't mean it I'm so sorry and and and...! Please talk to me, I really like you and I'll do this this and this for you and please kill me in the face I'm fucking pathetic.
Training was going so fine for my job until I actually had to apply it. The stress. The nervousness. My mind going blank on a call with a customer on every call and looking to my trainer like a lost puppy each time, getting more and more red in the face. I was doing so good. I moved all the way up here and am signed on to a lease. I can't just leave. I'm going to stick it out til my contract's up assuming they don't fire me.
Jesus...
I know they say no one just gets it - not two weeks in. Not even 3 months in. But shit, the other kid I'm training with is just zipping right along! His trainer is bragging about him and praising him. I'm a total outkast here. I've never worked with a lot of this stuff and am not used to a corporate/enterprise environment.
God damn...
>>17288037
if you are not like then why are you on here?
I've been staring at my call log in my phone for close to 15 minutes now. I'm trying to call my boyfriend, but I can't. I told myself I was going to call him for sure 20 minutes ago.
I need to break up with him because he's using me as a rebound and I'm fucking miserable, but every time I get close to hitting the "call" button it's like I can feel my soul getting sucked from my body, like I'm about to pass out. I don't want to do this because I love him like I've never loved anyone else, but if I don't, I'll just keep getting hurt/lied to. I'm in unimaginable pain.
>>17288684
See you tomorrow
>>17288695
I find that kind of cute. Do you spill spaghetti too? I find grill spaghetti lovely.
chulita I miss you (and your thick salvadoran accent). You did me dirty though. I hadn't talked to you in 2 weeks yet you did that. I know it was probably your boyfriend that made you do it, but c'mon that permanently ended all our ties.
Ugh, I just can't bear the thought of never seeing or talking to you again. You were there for me on my birthday and other times as well. You were one of the few people who did me right when bad things were happening in my life.
I need to get over you, but I can't...
People who constantly post inspirational bullshit on their facebook have the most miniscule self-worth around. You're not fooling anyone.
If you were actually motivated/inspired/active/not a fucking loser, you'd be too busy doing shit rather than fish for likes about how you're going to do it.
Get a fucking life.
I'm so tired of everyone wanting equality to the point of omitting common sense.
Do you know a transgender who doesn't have a severe mental illness like autism or depression? WHO CARES THEY CAN PRETEND TO BE A WOMAN WITH A DICK ID THEY WANT!
I just think black people are trying too hard all the time. Like dude. You can tone the personality down a bit. We know you're there, we just don't want to give you attention because you'll feed off of it and get annoying again, James.
>>17288947
In regards to this, I'm a mixed person with such light skin that I don't even look black.
Feels like very radical black people freak out when they know what I am because my very existence threatens what they stand for.
I wonder how long black people in America will cling to slavery. It feels like the very fact that we cling to this as it is something to constantly be made up for is putting things in retrograde.
Of course, if I say this to any of my liberal friends, they think I'm the one who isn't being progressive, even almost racist.
I'm going to marry Ayumi whether you like it or not, you nationalist drones. I fucked the shit out of your cute little daughter and there's nothing you can do about it. No matter how you try to pull her away from me she knows what she wants and you'll never be able to fuck with her head enough to get her to go back to that dead end of a town. I'm going to show her the world and give her what you couldn't: the adventure she always wanted. Fuck you for trying to stop me and for not wanting me as a part of your family because of the color of my skin. I tried SO HARD to impress you and you had me fooled for a while there. That practiced Japanese mask of politeness really drew me in but now I know better. You have no idea how deeply it cut me to my core to hear that you wanted nothing to do with me.
I had feelings for you but you had a bf so i moved on. Then you and him broke up, and me and my gf broke up a few months later. After being single for some time, my feelings for you resurfaced ten fold, and I asked you out. You said yes, then texted me the next day and said you changed your mind. The fuck
alright. enough's enough, time to claw back some independence and leave my husband.
wish me luck. i may have hit the wall at terminal velocity but i'd still rather be alone than be with someone who makes me feel that way.
I get it. I already knew, but I get it. Like I said before, I won't get in your way. I'm not going to be around, no I don't want a constant reminder. I'm not resurfacing anywhere until I feel more stable. But I won't be there again. I'll always know I fucked up, but at least you fulfilled what I said. You reached out for what you wanted and now you can smile. Goodbye.
it could have been. five years later
Brace for high level autism
>be me, who goes to the gym everday
>gym has a very cute girl who takes care of the gym people's children
>never attempt anything because fuck it, I'm just there to lift
>after some time, I realize that every time I'm going home, she stares at me until I'm out of sight
>no idea if she likes me or thinks I'm fucking weird since I'm autistic
>after some days of us staring at each other I attempted to find out, so when I was near the door (which is very far from her) I looked at her and did a bye hand gesture without saying anything
>girl instantly smiles and returns it, so she was really staring at me
>keep doing this for some days until today where I decided I should try something
>instead of doing the gesture I just said "bye" when I walked past her with her staring at me
>she replied "what?"
>I thought it would be too autistic to say "oh, I said bye" so I just kept walking and went home
>no idea what to do the next time I go to the gym since this was extremely retarded
I'm cringing to death, but I guess it could be worse.
Husband has treated me like shit since I have birth to our son. Read this book on the differences between men and women and men's biological imperative to be promiscuous and somewhat indifferent to their children. Now I feel really disenchanted and bitter. These past few months I've gone out of my way to be the Madonna\whore, doing everything in my power to embody that dream girl he wants me to be, talking less, sexing more, cooking for and catering to him, giving him space, using direct language and keeping my feelings and ramblings to myself. Seems to be working well, but now I'm now I'm coming to resent him. Everywhere I go men treat me like something special, then I go home and the man who married me and wanted me to have his child has me working like a performing seal for his love. Part of me wants to leave so he sees what he's taken for granted, but I truly believe marriage is forever. Hurts so much.
>>17289749
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha yes you are extremely retarded but it's normal bruv dw just next time say 'hey' not 'bye' lol how is 'bye' a fucking conversation starter haha ty for keks tho
>>17289795
That's what you get you dumb ass normie
May you suffer eternally
>>17289795
you every heard of communication? maybe then you can tell how he truly feels about you and this, by asking him about it, as any marriage counsellor would suggest?
i'd advice against divorce you're gonna fuck up your babies life so you can 'feel special'... doesn't you fucking baby make you feel special? like you need attention from a male or someshit. most mothers love their babies and scald their husbands...
I'm such a boring fucking person.
I'm really nothing special in any way, wasn't born with any intense passions or hidden talents, not exceptional enough to be a legend, not insane enough to be a freak.
I've become a ghost. Nobody seems to care. And I'm beginning not to care myself.
I fear what I am becoming.
>>17289814
I didn't wanted to talk as I was going home, just wanted to do something different
I don't know how to talk with people that aren't retarded memelords too
>>17288870
that sounds absolutely horrible
>>17289856
well my friend she might be a retarded memelord you dunno do you?
but fair enough i get your point... pretty fucking autistic tho if you thought 'bye' is cool and shit hahaha im still laughing at you
>>17289829
I have tried communicating, but he rages at me and goes nuts. I'm trying now to communicate with actions and set my boundaries. Divorce is the last thing I want, it's not even an option in my mind. And it's not about feeling special, it's about being valued and appreciated instead of constantly insulted and told I'm not good enough.
>>17289867
well I'm not sure about america but in my country it's pretty normal to say goodbye to people you see frequently even if you don't know them
>Planning on moving within next two or three years
>23, never been in a relationship
>Figure there's probably no point in getting in one now
>Realize if everything goes through I'll probably be 26/27 and still have never dated, been with a girl, etc.
I feel like I've gotten to the point where yes, I do enjoy my alone time, but damn does it get lonely.
>>17289877
sounds sad. i fucking hate dads who can't control themselves, lack that level of maturity to conversate on a sensitive topic without getting their balls in a fucking knot the little bitches don't procreate if you're still a fucking retard... tell him you don't feel appreciated and shit see if he loses it at that, cause he shouldn't... like that's not normal cause you're his wife and should be his life and shit
all the best anon, you seem to know what your doing, may God bless you and your famalam my nigga
im drunk again
I've lost a lot of feelings over the last month.
I'm a sexual deviant with multiple paraphilias, completely lack empathy and have misanthropic social tendencies.
>Wasn't molested
>good childhood
>not depressed
What the fuck caused this?
Another 3 day. Time to think of another way I can waste my life.
>>17289885
It's really disappointing because we planned having this baby. I married my husband because I thought he was respectful, trustworthy, kind, and because of our strong connection. It shocks me how much he's changed. I've tried to take responsibility for myself and do everything I can to make him happy. Since baby he's started acting like a big, macho asshole. I know I sound uptight and humorless af, but I'm actually a really light-hearted person and try to have fun in life. Just been dragged down and feeling weary. Thanks for your support, anon. God bless you too <3
If only slightly gooder than homeless / incarcerated / lost and forgotten was possible
you know, happy things
>>17289914
excessive fetish porn
>>17289921
no worries... i just had a thought tho if he was a good guy before the baby, maybe the baby has created some sort of stress for him he can't handle... maybe he's mad the baby suckles on them titties... communication communication something something communication
>>17289925
I never even looked at porn until I was thirteen, then I saw a nature documentary that showed an extended shot of a gazelle getting ripped apart by a lion, piece by piece, got a boner. The rest is history.
>>17289939
like i said my friend, excessive fetish porn
>>17289948
But I was like this before the porn.
>>17289749
Say "hey you" next time and ask her what her name is. Also see if she needs a spotter while she's working out.
>>17289935
There is some truth in that! He's actually told me that he wants me to baby him more, which is why I've busted my ass (and backed my ass up) trying to please him. We do still talk, sometimes for hours, and he's told me he feels insecure as a provider and a man, so yeah, that's probably part of it. I'll try double hard to make sure he gets his share of the titties tho....
>>17289914
It's probably genetic. It's genetic a lot of the times. There's a few different ways it can be caused genetically, like with altered neurotransmitters or hormones. You could just be highly androgenic. You should get a testosterone test done and check your digit ratio.There are also several ways it could be caused by brain injury like a cerebral infarction or a problem with the brain development in utero.
>>17289914
you sound like a typical autistic lost teenager... calm down you are normal. decrease the porn and increase socializing gradually. you should develop the opposite of your first sentence in time
>>17289987
Is an arousal response based on level of taboo normal then?
I have friends, a few of them.
I'm well liked in all of my social circles, the catch is I don't like them aside from probably two or three people. I'm just good at pretending to a good person.
Spent like a whole week with my girl for the first time last week, was great but I just ended up making her mad at me. It's weird realising the dichotomy of being crazy about someone but knowing you couldn't spend 24/7 with them happily. I'm trying not to overthink it and see it as a bad sign for our future or whatever.
But now I'm even overthinking about how long is appropriate to wait to see her again. I hate that even now I still get into that inbetween-date limbo phase of uncertainty. I'm incapable of really being myself unless I'm physically with her, otherwise I'm a neurotic wreck.
>>17290004
like i said, excessive fetish porn... which isn't normal
you sound like an alpha bro, just live life and don't panic. you'll be alright
^ dear above, walk away from it while you still can
>>17290022
to whom do you refer
click on the post i.d and reply... fuck is this ^dear above shit
Probably all the posts with problems
Best to leave it, start over
I wonder what happens next?
Wise guy, ey
Don't you know what we do to wise guys here
>>17290033
Yeah I've seen it, you fuck up their stream from a proxy, watch them grasping around trying fix it and troll them going doot di doot
That's basically it isn't it?
>>17290031
What do you want to happen next?
Well, I'm following my therapists guidance, stopping drinking in stages
Sadly I'm shelving cross dressing, it doesn't work, it's too much trouble
I'm going to pay my debts and stop living in a pub, and try to budget
And then work on good things and pray, a lot
So far there's been terrorists, sadists, political scandal, mi5, radio djs, Hollywood film directors, stand up comedy, multi national write offs
I'm just doing some drawings
I just want to meet somebody you know?
It's a painting you'd like it?!
It must be Jesus
Never told anyone, but I tried committing suicide, pissed out just before cutting mynnecknwith a knife.
I was 15, had like 4 friends, one of them was my crush. She liked one of my friends and are still together 5 years later. Socialising was always my biggest problem. I wished I dared speaking more to my classmates and everything, as I'm sure the situation would have changed.
My family had economical problems and I was an accident, so I always felt I never belonged there. The continuous fights with th em, my social problems, everything.
Nowadays it's better. I realisedy mistakes and I'm more open now. I'm in University too, so I don't have to give my kids a bad life. If someone is considering suicide, don't. Things do get better after some time
>>17290080
And then I think
Whatever happens
Prison, or whatever
somewhere, at sometime
...Frank would have agreed
I LOVE YOU, LOVE ME BACK OK?
>>17290088
Lots of young do, I did and I've met others , it's really common
I don't know if life gets easier, but you'll learn to cope with it more
>>17290102
*young people do
I used to love kung fu, or at least I always thought that
What I recall is that as child, I told my mom that I wanted to practice Jiu-Jitsu.
She told me that as I was pretty little (I was around 9 yo), something less intense would be better
And since, I've practised in intervals.
I went for 4 years, then I left it for 3.
I went 2 years, then I left it for 1.
I went for a year, and I'm not doing any sports.
I'm considering something more intense (San Da! I tought, but no one teaches that near home), yet I still have a liking (and talent) for Kung Fu.
I don't know if I should start again. I'll probably drop it again. I don't know why, and I want to know.
A friend said that it was the distance. Travelling 2.5 km at night in winter sucks.
My sister said that there is something in the academy I practice that I don't like. That may be true. Students and teachers are pretentious wannabee philosophers, betas and chinese weebs. Not the sifu tho, I think.
In my opinion, the cause is that I don't relief stress at all at that place. We don't practice with bags and rarely make combats, and I need to relieve myself, to be honest.
What should I do? I'm terribly out of shape and I want to start a contact sport. I've tried boxing (the best so far), Tae-kwon-do and kick-boxing and none of them are appealing to me as Kung Fu. I also concluded that I should try more sports and see if they are nice too.
Sorry if I wasted your time, this may be not as important as other anons' thoughts, but I wanted to write this.
>>17290110
Kung-fu is gook dancing for fairies
Tae-kwon-do full contact is for men, taught by koreans formerly in the military not some weebs
>>17290113
What about Yoga
>>17290120
Yoga is sweaty stretching for liberals with too much money and time
>>17290113
Yeah, I should check Tae again. I tried it a long time ago.
>>17290120
It's not a martial art, senpai.
Despite publicly saying I believe in the holocaust I still secretly believe 6 gorillion wasn't the real number. I'm no Nazi but historically that was the closest anyone got to world domination and unity so it'd make sense to make the number something horrible and make a ton of evidence up to prevent that from starting again. I also can't believe the well documented Germans just started throwing people into the ovens rather then keeping a viable work force, I've also heard they tossed babies in the air, jacked Jews off to death(how I wanna die btw) and used their Jewish hair as material for uniforms. The starvation also seems like it could have been caused by ally bombings of supply routes. Realistically, if you were a country leader and %40 of your food was suddenly cut off, why wouldn't you feed your citizens instead of POWS? Once again, not a wehraboo, just someone who likes to question everything.
I really hate you. Actions speak louder than words. You kept saying you cared, loved and in the end, you showed me otherwise. Good riddance, now I have room to care about myself and maybe find someone who deserves me.
>>17290122
I had this theory that if someone got really good at yoga they could be supple enough to win at martial arts with pacifism
I always find it weird how you get these people that say they're pacifists and are many times over black belts
And they spend their life perfecting how to beat people up
It sounds a crock , they must be really violent I think , but just about repress it
>>17290130
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPkF9nFgRcg
Watch this, dirty Zionist propaganda will have you believe in the 6 gorillian
This movie is a reenactment from the minutes of the meeting where the final solution was started
Germany couldn't afford to dedicate thousands of men to purging jews with the Soviets slapping their shit
shes ugly, autistic, selfish and unkempt
yet i still kinda like her
maybe its pity? staceys bully her and its very noticeable that she likes me
or is it because shes a redhead?
im really into redheads
i dont want to like her
halp
>>17290138
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNhYJgDdCu4
Yoga = trooper
>>17289368
Good luck. You deserve the ability to edit your life if you don't like how it's going. It is YOUR life after all.
>>17289368
Maybe don't be a cunt and talk to him before you do anything or you might come off as an ungrateful twat.
When are you going to be home for good? I daydream about running into you someplace wholesome and natural and being shy and not talking to you. That's most realistic. Hah.
I still have a crush on Catie Wayne.
I know.
But she had decent bone structure, style, and she's actually pretty funny and nice.
>>17290426
*has
>>17290137
I told you what no one else would. Sorry but that is caring.
>>17290426
I miss when she was Boxxy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yavx9yxTrsw
Still brings a smile to my face
>tfw only one month older than her
w..whoa..
>>17290460
Told me what that no one else would exactly?
>>17288021
I hate this too. I also hate language trends like people using "This. So much this." to mean "I agree." or Typing. Like. This. for emphasis.
asdf
>>17289882
Most relationships don't last 2-3 years and those that do are worth considering moving for (or staying put)
No reason to avoid it
>>17290511
>i hate language trends
autism speaks
My life isn't bad or anything but I feel like I'm getting a lot of shit I don't deserve. And you aren't helping. I thought having you in my life would make me happier, but all you've done is make me stress and worry. You get upset over the littlest things and I don't have to try to piss you off it seems. I've given you all my love and gotten nothin in return. These last two weeks have shown that you don't care about me. And the fact that you would talk to someone else while still dating me shows a lot considering your last boyfriend cheated on you and you claimed to hate people like that. I guess I should have seen it coming. It hurts but I don't get to keep the good things.
I miss my husband so insanely much. I'm trying my best to keep busy and stay in contact with others, so I'm not isolating myself, but nothing I do makes me feel better. Really, I wish I could die too, then I could be with him, but I'm not sure that hastening my death is the best thing to do.
I would do literally anything for him to be at my side again, but of course that's not feasible...
I miss you, Jed. T_T
I feel like garbage. I'm not healthy, and i know damn well it's my own fucking fault.
I eat like shit, I barely do anything outside of a couple nights at the gym, and I just know that any diet won't work because I'm a fat piece of shit with no willpower. I just want to turn off my appetite. I just want to be healthy and good looking and I know it's just not going to happen.
Even if I do magically get on a good diet I'm going to backslide like every other time and I'll be back at square one again. Why can't I just turn off the part of my brain that demands that I eat this shit? Why are junk food and soda so much more addictive than hard drugs?
I want to die because I just know it will only get worse
>>17288012
I have shy bladder and it's irritating to no end. It makes me feel like half a man.
every decision i make is the wrong one. every ounce of talent i once had is gone. every small mistake i make turns into a huge failure for myself and i slip into depression for a while. i'm stuck giving myself all these high expectations and seeing nothing but low results. i'm completely worthless to anyone around me.
>>17290657
Do you go to church anon? Not trying to be a Jesus freak but religion can help in your times that are low. Maybe pay a visit to your local church. Talk to the minister that always helps me.
I just woke up to her laugh again. I was laughing too.
Then I remembered she's gone.
>>17290665
no, i don't. you think a minister would have some guidance?
>>17290702
He'd guide his cock into your tight virgin ass
Everytime I wake up, I'm disappointed I did. Just let me go.
>>17290137
damn. what did she/he do to you?
Why would someone that's a definite 10/10 obsess with the ultimate weeblord still living with his dad at age 24?
I can't go back to the chatroom for a while. She could be there, waiting. Why did she have to stick around now of all times? Why is this shit happening to me? I don't get women. It was peaceful before I started to get involved with others. Now I feel like a cuck.
HAAALP! Please?
I am a grill. I was with this guy for 6.5 years and I broke up with him almost 2 years ago.
I ended it because he basically was a NEET for the last 2 years. No job, never went to college and was smoking waaay too much weed. Weed that I paid for duh.
I still think about him almost every day(really, how does that happen??). I know I still love him. I also know he still loves me. I am really thinking about trying again because of how I feel and he has seriously straightened out.
Can it work? Does anyone have a similar experience? Why can't I stop thinking about him?
I gave someone herpes without realising it and they don't know, I don't know what to do since we're not officially together
>>17290702
I'm sure they would. I'm Catholic so I would always talk to the priest. They can help you spiritually and with God but they also go through pretty extensive schooling so they're all pretty sharp. Whatever your religion is the spiritual leader is meant to help you grow spiritually and also emotionally.
I have a female friend from college. I think she likes me but I have a gf and she has a bf (so obviously nothing comes of it). A few weeks ago she opened up to me about all her personal problems and some really deep stuff. Ever since that day she's been cold and distant. She has hardly messaged me since (she used to send me messages every day). I like her as a friend so I'm kinda disappointed the friendship has seemed to stop, despite me not judging her and listening/understanding her problems.
Any idea why she's gone completely cold?
>>17290772
You explain it to them. I bet you're someone I was with. I wish I would've had the courtesy.
In all honesty, I'm really fucking scared. I don't want to admit it, but I came across this thread and it popped into my head.
Apparently my mom has been diagnosed with cancer and I'm terribly afraid of losing her. I don't know what I'd do without her and I'm only 19. I'm just so fucking scared. I love her too much. I don't know what she's sick with, but I pray that she gets better. I know recently she had surgery about 8 months ago. Recently she's been saying her bones have been hurting all around, but I think she's better now. She hasn't been saying that and she went to the gym with her coworker for the past few days.
>>17290151
y u no just accept.
>wow
>>17290839
Do you know for sure she has cancer? what is her staging?
wow you fucked yourself; you swim with sharks you get bit. if they fuck others, they might not know where it came from, and wont talk because he dont want anyone to know
I want to ask you about your breakup (mostly so I can go "I told you so") but it's not worth making things awkward again between us.
>>17290232
yeah because i've never tried that before.
how about you women blaming neckbeard boycunts fuck off back to /r9k/ with your other miserable ilk to bitch about stacy? you don't know fucking jack shit about the details of this problem, stop projecting your own fucking problems into mine.
fucking loser.
My mom was talking about what to get me for my birthday and want I wanted to do.
I could only nod in agreement with her ideas. I could only do that because all I could think about was how I wanted to be dead before that date. It took all my self-restraint not to break down. I had broken down too many times at work earlier that day and I didn't want to put that pressure on her.
>>17291179
Egh, you just reminded me that I have to deal with this in a few months
Well you ditched me yesterday, then you ditched me today. You had your reasons for both, but you could have avoided both as well. I'm glad you did this before I got too emotionally invested. Now it won't be so hard to start distancing myself.
I can only fap to male human x furry female porn.
I wish my parents were still together.
My dad is gonna retire and move to a different country in a couple of years. He'll probably start a serious relationship, if he's not with another woman already. That makes me cry... he'll sharing jokes with, making time for, and loving a stranger- when I don't get those things as his daughter. I wish he loved me more. I wish he loved my mom more. God, they were together for 27 years. I thought they'd stay together just out of inaction at this point but. My family unit is dead. Half my grandparents are gone, the remaining two are very old. I don't have any siblings. My little family will just keep shrinking. I hope whoever I end up marrying has a big big family I can join. I miss my dad so much right now. But I guess I miss what he stands for and what he could be more than I miss who he actually is. I hope my mom is asleep so she doesn't hear me crying right now. Why couldn't my dad care about me just a little bit more. Is it me?
>>17290478
The boxxy debacle actually kind of caused her some pain though.
She had some serious stalkers and people wouldn't stop calling her boxxy.
Her privacy was extremely violated, even in ways celebrities don't have their shit broken into.
One rich kid even paid to move to the U.S. and enrolled in her school to stalk her.
A group of people formed around trying to collect information on her and her family to extort attention from her.
I feel really bad for her.
Her closest fans that she interacts with the most also really depend on her for emotional support, and they're a little off the rails at times and sometimes cruel in how they try to guilt her and badger her for attention (threatening suicide, saying she saved them, etc).
She really has taken a fucked up Christ-like job, which makes the parodies even weirder.
The reason why I like her is because she actually has personality and she takes care of herself. I don't know why, but then she jokes around and nails her expression and phrases everything perfectly, it's like shit is just supposed to be that way.
Funny, articulate people are so rare these days.
Most funny people are just jerks or self deprecating; she seems to rolls with classic humor combined with internet memes; even going so far as to backtrack YOLO to Carpe Diem (c'mon, that's funny).
Now for the fucked up part:
You're a month older than her?
I'm in my earlier 30s.
:(
Same generation, but still cuked up.
There doesn't appear to be any celebs that have a heart and sense of human in their 30s.
fuugggggggggggggggggg.
>>17291342
*fucked up
sidenote: she kinda seems to get annoyed at negativity and dredging shit up, as well if people talk shit about her fans, so if she happens to be reading this (extremely unlikely) or her fans are (higher possibility), sorry for dragging that shit up, but it's just that it's weird seeing people still call her boxxy and act like it was the greatest thing that ever happened to her and it had pitfalls.
I think I might just start a random rant.
I tell myself that I will change every single night, yet I seem to follow the same pattern over and over again. I'm scared of staying with people for an extended period of time - for some reason I seem to get feelings which feel the same as sexual feelings for everyone, but they aren't intentionally sexual. I want to fuck a few chicks on a regular basis, but I don't want to become dependent on sex.
So basically I want all different types of friends, but because I feel funny when I get close to people, I just go away because I don't want to hurt people.
I have musical ability, but If i pursue that, it would take me a lifetime to get good at it, and the music industry is very competitive. Also, you might get to meet people, but people in the music industry can be pretty up themselves.
If I let myself go I think I would be incredibly impulsive and full of emotion, and would be a dangerously reckless person. I guess thats why I'm a bit afraid of relationships, I don't want to get too close, but I don't want to be too far away - my choice is just to not relate at all, however that choice seems to be damaging to me at times.
I guess in summary what I'm saying is that I wish I was able to remain focused on my goals, and be able to easier ignore the achivements of others.
>>17291358
You seem completely normal except the sex part.
I'm kinda of at that point, but it didn't develop naturally.
I was homeless in my 20s and during that time everyone was trying to have sex with me.
People were always giving me money and implying I owed them sex or physical attention, all without mentioning it first.
I understood at the time it was the cliche, but in my 20s I was really hoping the world was in the middle of a change.
Now to think of it, same thing happened in high school.
I wonder if you've been through something similar and it's just been blocked out.
It never even occurred to me how it impacted me because I blocked it about because prior to high school I was routinely told I was the least attractive person at home, school and even at church gatherings.
I wonder if this kind of damage could be repaired.
As for your musical talent?
Go for it on the side until you make some cash.
You can always sell CDs [go retro, why not?] and move to selling shit digitally when you think you're ready.
I have no musical ability, but I've still made shit on FL Studio and Sony Acid Pro.
And you have talent? -_-
I don't think we're supposed to "let go" until we find partners in life.
Leonard Da Vinci once described an arch as thus:
An arch is actually two points of weakness that when leaned against each other become a point of strength."; hence the term "lovers arch".
Life isn't always about being a robot or reaching what other people expect you to.
We're human.
The great 80s Philosopher Johnny Five once said: "Nooooo! Not broken. Am ALIVE!"
Take that to heart.
>>17291283
Parents often forget their children are people.
When they're first introduced to you, you couldn't talk, could barely think and laid about all day.
It's very difficult for parents to conceptualize their children as full independent entities with a full scope of emotions.
Parents naturally have a superiority complex because that's how they feel confident to take care of you in the basic, basic sense.
However, the modern age has taken away traditional emotional connections and told people do be selfish.
In the old school anarchist movements, there was even the phrasing:
"Television. Radio. Film. Politics. Religion. They took your family away. They took them away and instructed them to be entertained. They instructed them to be selfish. They instructed them to spend spend spend. They instructed them to become machines for the system and tricked them into become selfish machines to achieve that goal. Ladies and gentlemen, there are times to unplug."
My advice? Just write a letter to your dad.
Don't go on and on, keep it simple, fair, balanced, and explain how you feel like you're not spending enough time with him.
When the elderly say "if I could do it all again" or "I wished I never missed that opportunity to do X"... listen.
>>17291190
You're probably desensitized because you don't feel consensual normal every day sex is enough to get you riled up.
So you probably picked something taboo because it makes you feel bad and anxious, thereby increasing bloodflow; it's where horror turns into excitement.
Same reason why faux-incest porn and bondage has taken off in the past 5 years.
The internet has fucked up people's tolerance levels; their serotonin levels are blown.
Best way to combat this?
90 days no fapping; find someone to trust and love.
In this world what is more taboo than trust?
So much hatred, fear and boredom in this thread.
When's the last time you all trusted and loved someone?
That's a choice you know. It really is that simple as long as you don't obsess over people you're not getting along with.
You can close a door and leave a window open. Just make sure you leave a note.
I could always just smash my phone and laptop, grab my coveralls and hiking backpack, and hop a train out of here...
I'll keep it in mind
>>17291415
"
In the old school anarchist movements, there was even the phrasing:
"Television. Radio. Film. Politics. Religion. They took your family away. They took them away and instructed them to be entertained. They instructed them to be selfish. They instructed them to spend spend spend. They instructed them to become machines for the system and tricked them into become selfish machines to achieve that goal. Ladies and gentlemen, there are times to unplug."
Quoted this on FB and kept for reference - thanks.
I really need to see a doctor
The stinging in my face and the constant pain on my neck just don't seem normal
I hope it's not cancer
I think I fucked up.
When ever I invite a girl to hang out, she always has an excuse. But it's not like the standard vague I am busy or I have work. Instead she states where she has to go and why.
This last time I asked to see if she was free for a bit, but again, she had an excuse (family over for graduation celebrations, and I just looked, and hers sisters high school actually is graduating today)
I texted her later on just saying "I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but if you don't want to hang out at all just say so." (no reply to this. And I hope now that she does not, and that when and if I speak to her again, its as if this never happened
Every single day I wake up and 90% of my time is spent on her. She claims not to want to make things hard for me but she takes my efforts to make things easier as an indication that I hate her and then bitches about it. Everything has to be done on HER time WHILE SHE HAS A FUCKING AUDIENCE. Because the only "help" she needs is someone to watch her do completely mundane things.
I don't get to sit and have hot breakfast anymore. I don't get time to do things for myself anymore. I can't even go out and do something spontaneous because she requires ALL the attention. Oddly enough the only time she doesn't need anything is when I have to go to work but of course that's how it's like because the money benefits her.
You say all the wrong things at all the wrong times. Why am I still with you, I don't know. I know deep down that I want something different to what you offer me, but I stay because my heart tells me to. The sex is shit, even though I orgasm, I force it a lot of the time so it can't be the sex keeping me here. God help me, I am fucking lost.
i paid my girlfriend's 14 year old cousin to give me the type of massage you get at parlor
it ended up leading to her giving me a happy ending
I'm pushing my boyfriend away and for some reason I can't stop.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
snibeti snab
I'm in a sexless relationship but I don't want to hurt him by leaving. I detest the idea of causing someone I care about so much pain. I feel like it was a mistake for us to go from great friends to in a relationship. This is my first relationship. I don't know what to do... I don't think it's going to get better, but I can't lose my boyfriend and my bestfriend in one go.
My dad acted terribly toward me in a dream, and now I can't look at him today normally.
I keep putting myself in the same terrible situation and fucking up the exact same way and yet I keep doing it. I have no fucking clue what she wants (I don't think she does either) and have no clue if I fucked up for good now or even if it had any chance and even though the risk for it is huge (can fuck up my carreer pretty bad) I can't stop having this doubt/regret/whatever.
Fuck.
Dear stupid people: Trying being direct with others.
That is all.
>work out regularly and keep strict diet
>not Adonis, but fit enough to get a lot of female attention
>having my cheat meal this morning before a long gym session
>mother comes home and asks me what I'm doing
>say I'm eating
>she takes a look at my food
"There you go, my little fatty"
>she leaves and comes back 10 minutes later to ask me for a favor and to borrow money
They lied
It ain't how you die, it's how you breathe
It ain't what you take, it's what you leave and conceive
>>17291415
Thank you for reading and for taking the time to reply, you made me feel less alone. I took your advice and messaged my dad. He asked if I want to take a trip upstate with him and I said yes! We're gonna spend a few days together. I hope you have a wonderful week, anon. Again, thank you for your encouragement. <3 I was just having a bad night but you made the following day better. :)
No, I will not be your beta orbiter in order to make us mutually feel better off of a false notion of you having feelings for me. I get it. You caught on that I have no friends. You also said you are always thinking about your ex boyfriend. This forced flirting bullshit is over. Go lead on some other autistic piece of shit, you fat bitch.
>am grown up
>not what i expected, especially the loneliness
i just feel awful in general. i have no friends. i have nobody to talk to like i used to. i try to have faith, that my day will come and i'll be on top, but goddamn if it isn't taking its sweet time to get here. for all i know it's come and gone and i'm just going to be here waiting for something that will never happen. i've had anons talk to me before, i've had internet friends before but they all just stop talking to me, all at once or over time. beginning to think i'm all i've got. i already know i sure as hell don't have her anymore.
just today i lost another one of the constants of my life from the past few years, i fucking hate all the change that's happening. it's never enough for anything.
>>17291427
Last time we did, we suffered even more and lost our hopes even more than ever before.
I feel fear inmense fear I feel inmense insecurity like I cant do anything or like i should not be doing what i am doing or what i am willing to do.
I am in love, my insecurityies and negative thoughs have destroyed that love and it muted into an obsession.
Im trying to change it to recover the innocence love but its so difficult
Everyting I try to do these fucking insecurities and fears just ruin it no matter how nmany times I try, no matter how strong and confident I feel that day or 1 month or 2 month, these insecurities just return and burn it all down.
I used to be a daydreaming child I am still this has not changed, I like to dreams and things I want to be done to improve myself to be a better self, but its just depressing something is fighting just as the same strenght but i opposite direction.
I still think of her. wtf. I've suddenly started thinking of girls again for some reason.
Anyway.
Last time I was around a girl I learned two things:
1. There are no second chances. Wasted my chance and I didn't get nothing
2. Girls with whom I can get along, that is, who are compatible with me, are very few and far in between. It's one in a million and I'm likely to find one every 5+ years. And most of the time, they'll have a boyfriend.
So, why care?
I could become a 'player', I'm saying that because I know I could. It'd take me a lot of time and practice to even get decent at it. But what is the point? I'm genuinely not interested anymore. The fact that I keep thinking of them is because I keep browsing r9k and probably because some physiological factor that has to do with reproduction.
Contemplate. Risk? Happiness? If only you could differentiate between the two. Oh my god, that feeling. Inanimate and yet so physically draining.
Hurry up, hurry up. Catch it while you still have the ability to fight, hold it while you still have the desire to care, pursue it while you still have the ambition to mend.
Or…you could just give into that nauseous feeling, which was liberated by the one decision you were never able to make.
I'd risk all the heartache and shame in the world to have the chance to love you forever.
>>17288012
Its so fucking hard to find someone where you both have mutual feelings for each other.
I have gotten close to a couple of girls over the last 4 years and all of them I have friendzoned me and the other half have friendzoned me. All of them are cool and I liked conversations with. Currently I have met this cool girl who is adventuress and willing to do anything. she is very goal oriented and logical. Wants to be friends even though there is a clear physical attraction. So I cant just forget about her and not talk to her because she is a cool person worth talking to.
>>17291579
I guess I should mention that it is when I specifically ask this girl to hang out, either in a group or just us.
You were the only reason for my happiness. All I can think about now is the different ways that I could kill myself.
I have a crush on a coworker, and I think she's got a thing for me too. She's married with kids, but I want her. I don't want to be a home wrecker though. Logic says don't go for it, but them feels...
4 days, $2.6k. how do I replicate this for an entire month is the next question for my business. all I've really gotta do is work 10 days at that rate and I'm living decently, reinvesting and growing money, generally living the life... but that's not good enough. I double that, I have Ferrari money inside of 5 years, and after reinvestment and new business, fuck you money inside of 10. that's working normal hours too... fuck if i work a few more I'll be there even faster. I need it, I'm taking it.
yeah, you were saying something about my life not being something or other while you tried to look down at me or something? let's see, I've got very little debt, amazing credit, a paid off sportscar, and own a business around the same time a lot of people are just barely out of college. Oh, and I did it all with zero help. please. do you want to get with it, or get out? cause I have no time or tolerance for disrespect for bullshit reasons like elitism.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9r7ezjl1us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW57JMR3bXg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee0395Q4GZQ
This has been bothering me for a while now, and I'm hoping someone will be able to help me out.
I'm in college and have never had a relationship with a girl or any sort of kiss or hookup. I always feel left out when I hear about hookups and the like. Back in middle school, I used to go on Facebook and leave creepy comments on hot girls' posts because I thought it was funny at the time. Every now and then I'd have a moment of clarity and realize how fucked that was and profusely apologize. Then I found /b/ in my freshman year of high school. I saw threads talking about FB faps and creep threads and thought it was normal to have a folder of pictures of girls I knew because everyone on /b/ did it. I never brought it up to my friends because I never brought up fapping material in conversation with my friends. Outside of nudes that we suspected may or may not exist, we didn't talk about anything of the sort. When my old laptop died, the habit seemed to die with it. I devoted my new laptop to not being a creepy fuck when it comes to masturbation. Eventually I started back up again, and continued saving pictures but deleting them later after a post-fap guilt. Things escalated to me posting on anon-ib looking for people who graduated, hoping they took nudes at college. I ended up screenshotting from snapchat (something that had been going on for about three years), but I ended up getting caught and blocked twice from two different girls, of course. One I didn't really give a shit about aside from the initial fear, but the other was a huge wake up call for me. We were good friends, and I feel like I threw it in the trash because of some tits. I haven't tried talking to her yet because I don't know what I would say. My folder has been deleted again and again, but I keep creating a new one. It hasn't progressed to the point of being over 10 GB (a huge majority of which is pornstar videos), but I want to fix this before I make anything worse. (cont.)
>>17293147
and before anyone says it, cause 4chins, no I'm not a male prostitute, or stripper, or drug dealer, or whatever else along those lines.
>>17293156
I'd never touch anyone without their permission, let me make that clear. (although I remember thinking about a friend's tits when I was drunk as fuck, I'd never go through with anything of the sort.) The main issue I have is that I'm masturbating to my close friends and it feels wrong having violated their trust. I don't mean to stop masturbating altogether, but I just want to stop being weird. I imagine if I told any of my friends, they'd disown me, and with good reason. I'm not a bad person, and there are plenty of worse things I could be doing, but I still feel like I've made a huge mistake.
While I do believe that I would have had this epiphany at some point in my life, it may have only come when it did because I got caught. In a way, I'm glad that I did, because I feel like I really need help. Is there anything I can do to prevent myself from doing this? Or do I just need to not?
>>17292369
How's it going, bro? What makes you feel like pulling up an old as quote from Atmosphere?
>>17288012
>>17293147
>I have no time or tolerance for disrespect for bullshit reasons like elitism.
>I have no time or tolerance for disrespect for bullshit reasons like elitism.
>I have Ferrari money inside of 5 years, and after reinvestment and new business, fuck you money inside of 10. that's working normal hours too... fuck if i work a few more I'll be there even faster. I need it, I'm taking it.
>I have no time or tolerance for disrespect for bullshit reasons like elitism.
>I have no time or tolerance for disrespect for bullshit reasons like elitism.
/adv/ protip: no amount of money or possessions equals people and contentment
>>17291427
Because I have a dark and satirical sense of humor, I have been amusing myself by seeing my friends all betray my trust one by one. The last one was someone I once called my best friend.
Funny, right?
>>17293314
Are you sure your best friend betrayed you? Or did you have unrealistic expectations of trust?
>>17293348
What would you say if you had an acquaintance come and tell you secrets you've only told to your best friend with the request not to tell anyone?
I really don't know anymore.
I get it. Only I can help myself. No one will swoop in to save me from anything. People can't love you if you don't love yourself, and so on.
But I don't. I hate myself. I 'help myself' for a week or two, then plunge right back into self-destructive bullshit even harder, and it feels so good every time I do. The moments of regret and wishing I could get out only last for so long, and everyone is too tired of my shit by now to help me last for any longer than I do by myself.
Maybe I should just give up, at this point. I'm burning out fast.
>>17293462
I can relate. I doubt for the same reasons, but I can relate on the self-hatred, burning out and regret.
Unfortunately, I am not in the position or state of mind I'd need to be in to possibly give you any advice or support. I can only say that you're not alone in the feeling, but I cannot say the same for the experiences that led to it.
I'm sure someone is willing to help you, but I do not know your circumstances. Some of us can only get over our problems alone, some can be helped. From the sound of it, you can be helped. So don't give up on getting a helping hand, do give up on being miraculously saved by someone, though. You'd need to help yourself alongside them. At least, that's what I hope is the case for you. If it turns out you really have to overcome it alone, then it really would all be down to you while everyone either watches on or pays it no mind.
Get help for the self-destructive behaviour as a start, just to stop yourself falling back into it, then you can overcome the whole thing with your effort and help.
Unfortunately, I do not know your circumstances. I'm just using what little optimism I have remaining here. I'd like to think you can overcome whatever is hurting you. Not everyone deserves to feel so weighed down by self-hatred. It's not impossible for you, that's the important thing to remember
>>17293508
Thanks. I mean, yeah, not much, and optimism and 'hang in there' are easy to get, but... I don't know, still helps to tide me over until the next try.
As you said, the circumstances and reasons are likely different, but that's not all that relevant.
When it comes to people helping me, it's... complicated. The only ones that are willing are few, and are also those without any ability to - people I know online, or which moved out somewhere else and can't actually stop me from going back to fucking myself over. I've repeatedly proven that simply asking me to stop doesn't do shit, and it's not like they always know or have time to even try. It's retarded and irrational, knowing I should, knowing I hurt them, but still being unable to. It's not even a matter of physical addiction, so I don't have an excuse beyond being a piece of shit.
And people close to me, or those who were close to me, well, they don't really give a shit. I was never a very social person, so I have no actual friends which would help out, and my family has long since given up on me. You know, I'm that one member of the family no one likes mentioning and doesn't get invited anywhere.
Another thing is, well, 'professional help' in my country has the double issue of social stigma and involving copious amounts of drugs as first fucking option. What good will it do me to get 'help' that will fuck me over in the long term, whether physically or by always being remember primarily for the fact I did, in fact, need help like that?
But then, I don't know if it matters. Maybe not. It really seems like I'm too fucking weak to do it myself.
After prodding for a real answer, the girl I had been on a date on said that her feelings for me are gone. I feel like shit and like I was lead on for a month. I have really low self-esteem as is but this is tanking it further than before. I'm not sure how many more times I can afford to have my heart broken before its too late. Why am I never good enough?
It used to be that my long gym sessions on Saturdays were the highlight of my week. I would get all pumped up and be happy going for a new PR. I would text with her between sets and be inspired to push harder.
Now I hate going to the gym.
There is no flashing blue light on my phone between sets. There are no messages to make me smile and inspire me.
There is just a blank screen where that should be, just the empty sounds of weights being lifted in the background, punctuating the even emptier sound of the terrible music.
And I can't wait until my session is over.
I did not mean to hit you in the head that hard.
Sorry Billie
I'm just going to assume you got busy or were too tired to talk.
Otherwise sorry for showing concern for your dog because I know she's important to you.
Whatever. I'll see you at work.
I'm 26 yo M.
I did some "stuff" that now I'm not so proud of.
The story begins when I was about 20 I used to babysit a girl over the summer. She was 11yo
First month went okay. Then I lost control of myself. She was laying next to me in a loose shirt and underwear cuddling against me as we watched a movie under a blanket During the movie there was a makeout scene and she looked back at me and gave me a small peck on my lips then looked back at the movie. I immediately paused the movie and turned her face towards me with my hand and started french kissing her deeply. She didnt seem to mind until I put my hand under her shirt and started fondling her buds.
1/?
I know girls are really sensitive when their breasts start growing but she was real sensitive.Every time I flicked her nipples or grazed over them she would wince in pain She started making sad moans as if she was about to cry but I didn't care at this point. I took her shirt off (it was real loose anyway.even if i didn't take it off you could see all her body through the sides of the shirt) and forcefully played with her buds in my hand. At this point she stopped kissing me and was looking away from me. I still didn't realize what I was doing. I kept going further and forced my hand into her underwear and started molesting her I wasn't able to molest her for long. She started crying as I just started penetrating her with my pointer finger. She bolted up and ran to the bathroom and stayed there for almost an hour crying.For the first 10 minutes I was still too horny to care.I slammed on the door and told her to get her ass out here and open the door because I wasn't done with her.
2/?
Then I jerked off on the couch and kind of calmed down a bit and hearing her crying her eyes out got me mad at myself. She eventually came out and I kissed her and told her that she was my #1 girl and that I was sorry. We can go as slow as she wants. I was an idiot and a dumb-dumb. She smiled a little when I said that part. Then we finished the movie and that was that for that day.
3/?
For the next month and a half I was molesting her breasts and touching her privates Monday - Friday. Im not sure why it never dawned on me that I could fuck her but honestly it would be too much hassle anyway at the time I would violate her wishes and touch her as I pleased. Eventually having her jack me off. She wouldnt like it and look away every time but I would grasp her hand in mine and force her to tug on me until she did the motions herself. And as always Id strip her of her clothes She cried the first few times. Then was teary eyed the next few. Then I guess she realized I wasnt going to stop so would just look away from me when I was handling my business and keep quiet. It was like day and night with this girl. She had a sixth sense of when I was going to touch her.
4/?
She was all happy and hugging me and friendly in front of others and would love being around me and tell me she loves me. Then the next minute she knew we would be alone and that I would touch her and take her clothes off and she would look away and just shut down until I was finished.
5/?
>>17290765
You sound like the gf of my roommate this year. He'd just smoke weed and whine, while she cooked for him, cleaned for him, did the dishes and laundry for him, and never argued with him. He was an absolute swine and a totally unmotivated person. It's a complete mystery what she sees in him.
Kept doing this until school resumed. About a week into school I bought her a laptop and bought internet for their home and told her I was "REALLY" sorry and I stressed the words "for everything" I'm not sure if she realized I was trying to buy her silence but i knew that she knew of what i was talking about. She gave me a hug and said she always wanted a computer. Last time I touched her intimately was when she was just over 14. I was watch over the house and she was taking a nap in her room. No one was home and I felt the need to play. So I got in her room and went under the covers.
6/?
>>17290765
Having been in a similar situation from the other side [sans the weed], well... it depends on whether he realizes he needs to get his shit together. I did, but it was too late. Not very good prospects if he does weed, but...
Well, don't get your hopes up too high, but do try to probe through whatever non-weed-smoking friends he has as to whether he shows any signs of self-awareness. Maybe in those two years, he realized he's got a problem.
Put my hands under her bottoms and felt her ass and went down to finger her vagina. She woke up when my fingers touched her lips and woke up startled and looked back to see who it was. I gave her a quick kiss and said I missed her a lot. She let me touch her for a few seconds before she grabbed my hand and placed it outside the blanket Then she told me she was taking a nap and wanted me to leave her room. With a tone of "Get the fuck out" in her voice It hurt me real bad she would treat me like this but she was old enough that I knew I wouldn't be able to control her as I once did anymore. Looking back I wish those times never happened. Now I have no one to love.
A few days ago I saw her again, In the ER that I work in, she attempted to commit suicide by slashing her wrists.
She barely made it.
7/?
After she woke up, I tried talking to her to understand what happened, to understand why would she do that to herself...
That's when she snapped and started to cry, that's it's my fault, that I broke her, how she can no longer trust anyone or let some be close to her.
Then she told me to get out, later I found out she left.
I knew deep down why she did that, but when I heard her say it, I ..I don't know how to describe it.
I ruined this girl permanently, I scared her very soul.
It's been a few days since that day, and I couldn't sleep or eat.
Her image of that day is like poison now, the events keep repeating in my head.
Finally I decided to post her to let it out, since I don't trust anyone of my so called "friends".
And if anyone have some advice that can give me please do
8/8
>>17293823
I hope to god you made that up
>>17293291
>doesn't understand elitism vs ambition.
nothing that I said has even a hint of elitism to it. elitism would be "get money, fuck the stupid poor people" that would be an example of elitism when talking about money. or "I have a college degree so I know more and am better than you" which is an example of elitism I've been on the receiving end of. I got plans, you got a problem with that, get out of my way? like I don't know what you want, an apology? cause that's not happening, I'm not apologizing for finally doing what I want to do with my life instead of trying to make other people happy. you want to talk about contentment? every single time I even begin to have a business thought it's like being high.
also, I've found that I don't need a lot of people, most people are insecure jealous fucks that couldn't be happy for you if their life depended on it, and being broke and surrounded by shitty people that treat you like shit and have no ambition themselves, absolutely sucks dicks.
nah man, I'm not taking other people's negativity, projected insecurities, and disrespect anymore. sure, people are great, but people that aren't in line with what I'm doing in life, actively get in the way, are in no way supportive, or are just shitty to me, are not entitled to my time.
that's not elitism, thats ambition and self respect.
*the more you know*
>>17293367
I'd say that mofo done fucked up. I'd also say you need to drop shit people and do you.
I like watching people hang themselves with so much as a piece of string you give them as much as the next dude, but it's not really productive is it?
I can't. I just can't fuckin' do it.
All this time, all these attempts to get help for being socially inept, and the only fucking advice amounts to sink or swim. And I sink every goddamn time. I just can't handle people. Straight up can't. Either I get nervous and have to bail, or I make THEM nervous by being fucking weird, or some other shit goes down.
I'm fucking twenty five. Never had a real friend my whole life. That's a fucking lot of lacking social skills to make up for. How in the fuck am I supposed to just figure it out alone?
fucking punk music
I hate it.
>>17293823
Kill yourself.
>>17293823
There's nothing you can do. You could turn yourself in for it, but really, would that fix anything? You'd probably just get shanked for it, no one tolerates a fiddler in prison.
You can't fix it. You can't make it up to her. Nothing you do will ever make it better.
You'll just have to live with it. Forever. Or not, and kill yourself eventually out of guilt. But that's really up to you.
>>17293952
He should turn himself in for it regardless. That's a stupid notion, there is absolutely no justifying his actions and when it comes to harming another person, just living with your regret and self-hatred doesn't do it. That's when other people have to pass judgment on you. No one should get away with a crime, and he even knows he committed one. There is no turning back time, no, but that doesn't mean he should go unpunished with the idea that living with regret and guilt is enough
>>17291890
What's not working in your relationship?
Any decision I make turns out to be a shit one.. now I've got to make a decision which may impact the rest of my life and it feels like whatever I chose will be a terrible mistake.
>>17293959
What would that achieve, really?
I mean, normally I'd probably agree anyway, if only because submitting to the law is the closest thing to retribution possible, and if he truly feels as guilty as he claims, he should want for it.
But in this case, as I said, he's likely to get fucking murdered or at least beaten daily if it gets out what he's in for. And I know many would argue he'd deserve it for what he did, but I think it misses the entire point of socially, lawfully dispensed punishment to simply have it enable lynching.
And they're not likely to just sentence him to death to begin with, so.
>>17293975
The fact remains, it's not his job to pass judgment on himself anymore. Self-hatred is one thing, but it only stands when you haven't harmed another person. In a case like this, even if you hate yourself more than any other human could hate you, it's time to be judged by those with the power to do so.
Whether he's killed or not isn't the point. It doesn't excuse his actions either way. But not punishing him by law is letting him walk around with some guilt while someone else was harmed. The victim deserves to have the attacker punished properly. Self-hatred and hanging onto regret only works when it's the single person. If he had fucked up and only harmed himself in some means, I'd agree that walking through life hating yourself would be fine. Mostly because that'd be the only option.
But that isn't the case here. The possible results after being sentenced don't mean that he shouldn't be sentenced. It's not guaranteed, and it's still lawfully dispensed punishment. Anything after that is out of the court's hands and a whole different case entirely. And it's not like the girl telling people couldn't potentially get him lynched, either.
Law before anything else. He committed a serious crime, he deserves to be judged for it
>>17293997
Well, it's evident you care for and respect the law far more than I do. Good on you.
And I don't mean that in a sarcastic manner, either. It's good that you do. I just can't bring myself to.
>>17294012
Only so far as I believe actions deserve to be judged when they're detrimental. Like I said, if he hadn't harmed anyone else, letting him walk around through life hating himself would suffice. Self-hatred can be an incredibly powerful feeling, after all. But he harmed someone else, and the only people with the power to judge reside in the courtroom.
I would rather place respect in that than let someone who knows they committed a crime walk around freely, as freely as someone who had never harmed another person.
>>17294028
I just don't think that law and prisons as functioning in most countries work as means of punishment, in the sense it prevents future crimes. Containment, certainly, but that's about it. The real punishment in this case would be the risk of death/violence within the prison, and the stigma which would follow him for the rest of his life after release.
And I mean. You say that anything beyond the lawful sentence itself is irrelevant, but that's a giant oversimplification and relies on ignoring the sentenced as a human with a life beyond the scope of the law. If the 'right' choice would involve ruining one's own life, knowingly and consciously... then one may as well argue that the true correct choice is suicide. At least it's more expedient.
>>17294053
But that's not how it works. The fact it's possible that someone can be stabbed in prison is one thing. Sentencing isn't sentencing someone to the right to be stabbed. If that occurs, the attacker doesn't get away freely. Even if the prison system in modern day is flawed, it's actually a system beyond letting an attacker walk the streets surrounded by innocents. Him judging himself isn't enough, in no civilization should that be enough.
Suicide? I'm neither for nor against it. My stance here would be how the victim would feel knowing that she dealt with sexual abuse for so long, tried to kill herself, then the attacker got away from any known punishment because he decided to exit the scene and escape his own guilt. Literally no one on this planet can punish him once he kills himself. Is that right? Maybe if you're thinking on his wellbeing. I'm not, to me he's an offender. Regardless of what the right punishment might be, and it's not my place to say as that lies with the victim and those granted power, punishment is better than no punishment. Freedom, in all ways, is a lack of punishment.
>>17289882
lets be in a long loving relationship together bby
>>17294084
Wellbeing? Please. Far as I'm concerned, I'd probably beat him half to death if I could. But that's not the point I'm arguing for. All I'm saying is that I think that ignoring the non-sentence aspects of a punishment is exactly the glaring flaw with the current system. Everyone knows he'll be dealing with an eternal stigma after his release, assuming he doesn't die in prison. And for some reason, ignoring that part is alright, and it's not considered part of the punishment. Well, it should, because it's a direct consequence of the guilty verdict. It's societal justice, in the same way lynching is, and something the law system is supposed to help us rise above.
Pretending it's not is more or less washing one's hands of the consequences, just so one can feel moral about it all, without acknowledging that yes, they believe being ostracised is in fact the appropriate punishment for the crime. All that despite the fact so many people are vocal about what punishment THEY would inflict upon people like him, and it's socially approved to have extremely harsh stance on the subject. Because everyone hates kiddy fiddlers.
>>17294139
I exclude society judging him because it's precisely that; other people judging him for what is given a guilty verdict. It's separate from the punishment the court hands out, it's the judgment process. I am perfectly fine with society judging him once proven guilty, because I am in favour of him being judged by other people, not himself, when he has harmed another person. I am not ignoring it, I am intentionally excluding it from the point I'm making because it goes in hand with what I said before. People who harm others are not to be left to judge themselves on their own, it's at that point others do so. First the victim and those in power. Once this has been done, it's society he is a part of that judges him. Judgment should increase with the severity of the crime, I see nothing wrong with him being judged by those around him for his actions.
My only issue is that offenders like him often get a new name and relocated after being released in various countries. But at the very least, he's been judged and the name he had will always be judged.
>>17294164
And the flaw I see with that is that it's a threefold punishment for a single crime. What's even the point? May as well simply proclaim what he did to the public and be done with it, they'll sort it out.
Being given a new identity is a method specifically to avoid this kind of problem. The judicial system is meant to be THE authority on punishment. Saying that "Okay, it has to pass a verdict, but after that the people can too" is admitting it's superfluous.
>>17293915
Define "Punk" music
>>17294177
Any of that late 70s stuff like The Sex Pistols, Wire, The Ramones, etc.. I'm not a critic and I won't pretend to like genres based on how much skill or talent they take. This whole set of music just annoys me endlessly, and especially with how critically acclaimed it is.
I can't feel a thing. In terms of my emotions I can't feel a thing. The only emotion I have is one that vaguely adheres towards me shutting myself from the outside world. My past nor my future bothers me anymore. I am just living in a laminated, sterile present.
As a guy who depends on creative energy and output for emotional sustenance, this is very worrying.
>>17294176
No, it exists to reduce the outright risk of him being killed. Because there is little the law can do to stop someone killing him after that, without protecting him. It's not to stop people judging him, it's to stop them deciding the punishment they'll enact. If there was no risk of physical assault and only the risk of being judged verbally and through discrimination without breaking the law itself, they wouldn't protect an offender.
A threefold punishment? It's not the law handing that out, it's the people because they choose to. The only flaw is that once that is the case, they cannot stop someone killing him in public, only punish the murderer. This is an extension that would happen regardless of the system unless you just bring back the death penalty. Even the death penalty is only removing the chance for the public to assault him. It's not going to stop them judging him.
You say a single crime, without acknowledging the severity. It's not like all crimes are equal, that's why judgment differs by the crime. A thief being released doesn't suffer the same problem with society as someone who sexually attacked a child. Nor does a fraud, even if you'd think they would given how long they can be in prison for. There is no system without just implementing the death penalty where criminals get released and not subject to judgment. Once judged, it's entirely the citizens around them who may or may not act on their own. Walking around freely, however, lacks punishment
>>17294217
I don't acknowledge it, because in this case it's irrelevant. As you say, society views different crimes differently - much as the system itself does. In short, the severity of the punishment matches that of the crime regardless of who inflicts the punishment - and so, being given such by the system and then the society is still a twofold punishment, no matter what the crime is.
>>17294191
The "late 70's stuff" only accounts for about 5 percent of punk music.
https://rateyourmusic.com/genre/Punk/
Hell, Wire released a 1980's album called "154". It's more gothic and new-wavey than their usual.
>>17294256
I don't really hate most punk music. It's just that specific, early super-acclaimed punk that everyone seems to love despite its extreme simplicity. It dumbfounds me. I still like This Heat, Iceage, etc. though.
>>17294231
A two-fold act because of society, not by the hand of law is the point. The court does not make a judgment based on how society around him will view him, but entirely on the crime itself. Heck, jurors are people pulled in from that very society that can and will judge him, while the judge themselves gives the ruling. But all of this follows rules.
Society acting on its own years into the future after the offender is released is their own choosing. This in itself is not a flaw of the system, it's a flaw of human nature. That they have seen judgment passed by those with the power to pass it, and yet their own views mean they must pass their own even if they would cross a line that would cause them to be judged. To complain here is to say that any system is flawed because human nature is only partly logical, it's largely emotional.
There is no system in this world where society will not deem a given punishment either excessive or inadequate. That is impossible to achieve. You will have a divide. The flaw you highlighted only needs one member of society to act on their own.
I will still say that regardless of the system's flaws and society's emotional response following this (outside and inside the prison) being judged by the court is better than a sexual offender walking freely with some guilt. There is no system where there is not a flaw as a result of human emotions leading to action.
>>17294265
I know what you mean. Try this on for size. It's got that late 70's sound but it's actually good.
>>17294277
Fair enough. I still say the punishment given by the law is less a punishment and more containment, in most cases, and not really worth considering.
And you're right, of course, from a purely moral point of view, he should turn himself in. But ultimately, so few people would choose to do so knowing what awaits them - in particular the stigma - that I didn't really expect him to take the option. I'd sooner expect someone to commit suicide, really. I know I would, were I faced with guilt of the level he claims to feel, and the only justice would involve fucking my own life up forever.
>>17294297
Thanks. I actually had Vibing Up The Senile Man saved all ready for listening but forgot about it. I'll give that a shot.
>have antisocial personality disorder, blending into society and effectively being a lie made manifest is taxing.
>can't drink or do drugs because of the predisposition to dependency.
>told some friends a few years ago and things just kind of imploded.
>have been fortunate, outcomes for this are typically bleak and I have somehow salvaged a decent life without causing others much pain.
I've had people tell me they would like to be able to shut out their emotions, it sadly doesn't work like that. The best way I can explain it is, a healthy person has a full 64 color box of crayons, I'm working with about 8 and I fake the rest and thankfully most of the world is so caught up in their own shit they are effectively color blind.
Hopelessness is the worst feeling.
Probably should've gone out with them. I never imagined she'd be there too.
Oh well.
I don't think I have real emotions.
What is wrong with me?
When I need to interact with people, I have to play pretend.
Everything in between, I just feel empty.
>>17294383
I'm very familiar with the feeling
Been with a girl for almost 2 years now, it's been my longest relationship, I feel like I've settled down to early as I still get the urge to fuck other girls, I don't go through with it cause I wouldn't cheat but I feel like I should end my relationship over it as I say I won't cheat now but I feel like I would in the future when I'm probably not as bothered by the idea.
>>17294383
If you feel hopelessness then you've finally learned to see reality as it is.
Nothing matters.
Nothing ever will.
Get fucked up. Have fun. Who gives a shit?
Everyone dies.
I want to numb myself to this. I want to go completely numb. I'll force myself to forget you, so that it no longer hurts. I may hate myself for this whole thing, but I'm certain once I forget you and numb myself the self-hatred will cease. If the only way forward is to get over it, then this will be the method.
applied to a car dealership today. its a good paying position thats open. and my family financially desperately needs this.
how do I get this job? should I call monday and practically beg?
please reply, anons. I need yalls help
>>17294460
Did you have an interview?
A salesman is a charismatic position.
You gotta convince people to buy shit that is too expensive.
Can you lie? Can you lie good?
I can't fucking stand normies. I've spent way too much time on 4chan and can't fucking hold a conversation with people in perosn. I used to be charming and funny but now I'm a fuck. I really need to stop coming here and talk to more peopl but fuck me I can't
>>17289960
I don't know you and I don't know him but right now it seems like he's an extremely lucky guy. I really hope everything works out anon.
>>17288012
I'm going to lie my way out of going to summer school
>>17289749
You have better luck than me
You can still salvage the situation
Why the fuck do you have to be married? Why the fuck did I get so attached to you? Why are you being so suddenly friendly with me now?
I'm so tired of fucking school. If it wasn't for the fact that I only have one more year left I would drop out. I've been in school since Pre-K so pretty much all my life up to now has been spent in a classroom and I'm just tired of it. I wan tmy degree and I want to sleep.
I AM LITERALLY BEING VERBALLY TOLD ANSWERS ON HOW TO MAKE YOU RUN AFTER ME BY YOU, BUT I CAN'T USE THEM. IT IS SO FUCKING HARD. SHE TELLS ME SHE ESSENTIALLY WANT ME TO TREAT HER LIKE SHIT, AND IT WORKS, BUT I'M NOT THAT KIND OF FUCKING GUY. PLUS, WHENEVER I DO, YES, IT WORKS, BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE, I FEEL LIKE I ACTUALLY HAVE TO START LOVING YOU LIKE CRAZY OR ELSE I'LL LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THE SHIT YOU SAY WHEN I PLAY THAT SHIT. HOLY JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I KNEW THIS FROM THE START TOO BUT I LOST MY WAY. BRAIN CROWDED ME.
No, I realize you don't want me to start actually treating you like shit, but you want me to be distant, hard to get, aloof and BITCHY. You WANT me to have a fucking attitude HOW THE FUCK. What the fuck is wrong with you. I understand it, really, I do, but my confusion just comes from ...I don't know where, honestly. It' just like, first of all, how could you actually tell me to act like that? And secondly...I don't know, I feel like I don't know how to do is properly. I think I do now, but I'm lacking confidence because I feel like I will fuck it up by doing the wrong things. Seriously, I feel like I'll either be too distant, or too rude/bitchy, or give off the wrong message. I'm scared of that. I'm also scared that it won't actually work. That I'll do that and you'll end up actually detaching yourself from me...like, logically, how long could this go on for? How long will you actually run after me or chase me before you say fuck this I'm done this is stupid?
Do I just need to be that suave smooth, calm cool collected aloof kind of faggot? Is that it?
Fuck I need a girl friend. A lot of my friends are in serious relationships and I'm not.
I know it's not the most important thing, but I need somebody that I can show affection and love.
Somebody that I can spend my days with play video games, and just have a lot of fun with.
Woah, i'm lost.
>>17288012
This anxiety thing makes life unpleasant and I find it difficult, even in my wildest dreams, to picture any scenario in which this is all worth while in the end.
I wish I were someone else or no one at all.
>>17294740
How is it like living with anxiety?
Fucking FUCK! Why the fuck would i go out of my way give up sleep and do something you know im not fucking interested in. What the fuck do younwant from me? I just wanna be in her life. RAWR!
I'm leaving my hometown. That's not the worst part of it. Aside from the whole leaving everybody I know here, I ended really liking this girl. I met her my second semester of college. She's really pretty and nice. I had to tell her I was leaving because I knew I wasn't coming back. There are too many issues that make so that I can't return. I told her today that I was leaving and I told her how I felt. Well shit. That hurt so much. My stomach felt as if it was being squeezed. My body hurt, it was just horrible because I knew today would be the last day I would ever see her. Shit. My life is a mess right now. Shit.
>>17294362
Dude you don't hurt people tho? I've know people with aspd who only manipulate and use the other person. They don't care at all about other people due to no empathy. Seeing people as possessions only.
Kudos to you if you don't.
Any tips on how to protect oneself from the evil version of you?
I don't get how some people can be so lucky
I'm really very drunk and i just had a long talk with my roommates and i'm worried about what we will remember in the morning.
>>17288012
Last Wednesday our girlfriend of a couple months broke up with us. (Wrote us a long text and unfriended me on social media)
Hurt like helll. I understand why and I'm doing much better now but the silly memories of her get to me still...
IIII FUUUUUCCCKEEEEDDD UUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP
it's because i adore you
>>17293823
I did something in my younger years that I'm not proud of, but It didn't directly hurt another person, but I can sorta relate with the guilt you feel - not being able to talk to anyone, even "professional help". Because psychatrists and psychologists by law have to report you to the police if you have done something like this.
The problem is with soceity is that everyone does stupid shit, and there are some people (like above) who because people commit evils then that determines who they are and who they will become. Even the most henious crimes I try to refrain from making judgement, because I know that at some point, everyone had good intentions, and is only working on what they know to be right and good.
Think of Radical Islamist children - all they have been taught is that the West is evil and Jihad is good (in a nutshell) all their lives over and over - do you think you can easily change anyones personal beliefs just overnight? No.
There are people who are clearly without a doubt, 100% evil, but I would say that would be about 0.001% of society. These people I would condemn. The majority of people, do have a conscience and do feel guilt - most do want to change.
Sometimes when people are honestly seeking for help to recover from bad behaviour, they are told they are going to hell, they are a monster, and are the worst possible thing existing. Some of these people, are 12 years old or younger. And people on the internet, are condemning them like they are more evil than Satan (or whatever you believe) himself!
If society shuns people who honestly want help and want to change (because of the belief that "one evil=unforgivable,fucked for life"), then I have no tolerance for people crying and complaining when they have the same crimes happening over and over again.
Prevention is much better than containment. If people want help, then help them. If you don't help, it is highly likely that they will commit crime/reoffend.
1/2
>>17295151
2/2
If anything is unforgivable, it is the people who force others to live in guilt.
Back to >>17293823
I suggest you get tor or go super anonymous, and find people who are in similar situations to you on the internet. I believe that there are several out there. Form a community with those people so you don't have to feel the guilt and pain alone.
I can't see myself getting over this. Another opportunity like this won't come again.
