hello
what are the signs of being sexually molested as a kid?
adv pls
another bump
girl or guy?
>>17287497
why/how do the signs depend on gender?
It's often very difficult to tell. They can internalize it (my fault) or they can deviate (sexually uncontrollable) or have a fear (anxiety, or rejection) etc etc etc.
What makes you think someone has been molested?
>>17287499
Did l say that?
>>17287526
for years, i would have at least one dream a month where i was molested/raped by somebody. it wasn't the same person every dream. additionally, i knew about sex at a young age and even as a toddler i seemed to know abnormally early that hot tub jets felt good. the biggest thing is that i've had people that were creepy towards me, and i felt a certain way about them. any time i was around them it felt like i was trapped, disgusted, and i just wanted to get away. every hug from them made me want to throw up. so i feel that way about people who i know have done creepy shit, but then i also feel this way about certain people in my family who haven't done creepy shit...as far as i know
>>17287528
nope, just assumed your question would affect how you answered
>>17287534
Sexual exploration as a child is normal, that I can say for sure.
I can't project my experience onto you. But, when I was 10, I was drugged and assaulted by my mom's now ex. I only have one memory of the incident. It started as these weird intrusive thought of this same vision of my mom's ex hovering over me and I couldn't move. Then I'd panic and wonder why as a child, was I imagining my mom's bf on top of me. I was too afraid to tell people because I just thought I was having wrongful urges.
In my teen years, I heavily abused alcohol, was promiscuous to boys but when I actually did things to them, I froze and flashbacked to that image of mom's ex. I also self harmed by burning, but never felt pain, I actually felt numb when I did this.
When I was 16, my mom just randomly told me she knew of some incident. In which her drunk bf would talk about details of my body that only my mom knew. She said the night in question, he was piss drunk, fumbling around in the medicine cabinet for a long time, then went to my bedroom for about 30 mins.
My mom said she was falling in and out of sleep at that exact moment and she said she thinks he may have molested me. All the stories matched up. I lost control. I went to therapy. They told me my levels of anxiety, ptsd symptoms, promiscuity, intrusive thoughts, and the self harming for feelings of numbness were all tale tell signs of childhood sexual abuse.
Through therapy I started to remember all I knew of the incident. I remember that night, mom's bf forced me to drink some juice when I told him I wasn't thirsty. He made it and said to try it. I said "im not that thirsty." He looked at me angrily and pointed to the cup and said "Drink, now." I was afraid so I did. I sat at the table, drank it while he watched. I couldn't even make it to my bedroom easily without passing out right onto my bed. I remember waking up briefly, he penetrated me, I tried to scream and move but had no energy. That's all I remember.
>>17287534
Hmm, I doubt molestation. I would presume if something had happened and you had been molested, then things like the hot tub would be triggers.
You probably have had/felt sexual feelings early and we're unable to rationalize it, so I wouldn't feel that having jacuzzi jets signaled anything. I would get hard as a young boy and just kinda tuck it away to avoid dealing with it, because I didn't know what was going on.
Strangers and creepy dudes tend to set off alarms easier in some than others, and you may just be more sensitive to those things.
Have you had a healthy sex life after puberty?
>>17287570
god that sucks. the closest thing i have memory of that was creepy was that i was sleeping with my dad when i was very little. he grabbed my crotch, i moved and he laughed and said "sorry, i thought you were mom" or something like that. but there were years of him saying me and my slightly older sister looked hot in swimsuits and other clothes
>>17287575
i don't think it was healthy. i tried two relationships and then fell into a period where i only had friends with benefits. did sexual stuff with guys i didn't care about, but i'm not sure if that's related to possible molestation or just me trying to establish my self worth by what i could do for guys.
i'm mostly asking because i have these creeper feelings towards one of my grandfathers. he's super baptist, war veteran, most generous person i know, never done anything wrong in his life...and yet i can't sit at the dinner table with him because every time he looks at me it just feels sexual and i scarf down my food as fast as possible because i can't stand being there another second. i wear baggy clothes around him because i'm tired of how he's taller and squeezes me and how that would squish my boobs together and give him a perfect view. the creeper feelings are so fucking bad with that grandfather. they're nothing compared to the cousin that i know actively tried to get a video of me naked
one last bump
>>17287595
Yeah, I'm going to go with some bad experiences. I'm sorry to hear those things happened to you, but I wouldn't try to dwell on it. You seem to have the self awareness to protect yourself, and that is good. It's just unfortunate there seem to be men in your life who put off bad vibes or do dumb stuff.
>>17287427
They say, "I was sexually molested and/or raped as a kid."
>>17287622
my therapist says that something likely did happen to me, but if i've repressed it, i most likely won't ever know what happened. she said hypnotism is technically an option but generally, when the mind wants something to be hidden it stays that way. just makes me sad that i've dealt with creepy guys but i feel even more disgusted towards my grandfather who seems like the best person on the planet
>>17287623
i mean signs besides those
>>17287627
I wouldn't dig it up unless you find iit interfering with a relationship, or your ability to socialize. My sister in law was molested by her dad and is very reserved about the incident but it doesn't affect her current relationship. She's comfortable having sex and being intimate. Her circumstances are unfortunate but she's found a way to cope with the events in a healthy way. I hope you can find this solice as well
>>17287427
Being sexually molested as a kid
>>17287654
i don't think it's affecting my relationship, unless it's a contributor to my severe, constant anxiety. i tend to be scared of men and assume the only reason any guy would ever want to talk to me is just to fuck me, even though i'm not good looking. i also don't think i could ever have anything but rough, animalistic sex; even the rare times that i think about actually romantic sex, or the times that the bf tries to be romantic, i'm just tolerating it until it's rougher stuff. i also have weird fetishes but i don't think that's related to any possible molestation
>>17287661
what if you don't remember it but you do remember your dad grabbing your crotch at night, suggesting family skinny dipping nights, and frequently complimenting you and your sister's middle school bodies?
idk if this means anything, but when i drink too much, i tend to end up crying about how my dad and grandfather give me creeper feelings, or about the creepy shit my cousin and this neighborhood douche did. i don't really bring it up if i'm sober, and i don't cry about it then
>>17287678
Greentext anything and everything you think is relevant, it doesn't matter if you can't fully remember
>>17287671
You have a complex concoction of sexual expectations, desires and ideals. It's not wrong, it's just being refined.
If you're happy with your relationship then that's good. The root cause of your anxiety could be many things, but to hear you have a therapist is a positive sign. Learn to explore and share those weird kinky fetishes with your boyfriend, romance doesn't need to be slow bump n grind all the time
>>17287687
na i'm good. that post explains the weird stuff. the last interaction i had with him at college before he died, we were at a crepe shop and he was staring at attractive college girls making comments about them without realizing how gross it was that his two children, who were the exact same age as those college girls, were listening to all of his comments
>>17287691
i only went to the therapist a few times two summers ago, mostly before my dad died and once after he'd died. it's too much money and i had to go back to college so i was unable to go to the same therapist
i can't explore many of my fetishes, and i can't share a few of them. we don't really have romantic sex. he probably does, but i don't really have the emotional attachment to sex
>>17287703
All that is OK. You've had a few sessions and potentially learned some stuff. If you felt it helped, you can start over/resume when you get a job.
You don't need to be in an idealistic relationship now. Romance can be wild and crazy, and if you have fetishes, I would share them. I know I'd want my girl to share what she thought
>>17287724
yeah no. i told him most of my fetishes but i'm not about to tell him i'd love to see him get fucked by a dude/fuck a dude. or that when he goes down on me i imagine i've got a dick and he's sucking it and that's how i can cum twice as fast as i normally would. or that when we fuck doggystyle i fantasize and take the position's name literally.
gotta restrict the weird levels mang, otherwise nobody will love you
>>17287729
Hey Im not about to judge. The last one sounds fun though.
>>17287570
Happened to my gf. How did u recover/how are u today?
What the fuck your stupid as fuck learn more knowledge dumb fuck
We are always watching
