What is the timeline for long distance relationship to no longer be long distance? Do you two have concrete plans to move in together or close the gap, or are they vague? You need to be honest about that detail.

Also, if you break up now, the rl guy will probably distrust your loyalty unless you have a damn good reason.

>>17286712
See me late next year and see how that goes, other than that no concrete plans but he's keen to move to my state in the future after that.

I know, that's definitely true.

how long have you been in the ldr

>>17286721

That is a long fucking time to "wait and see." Especially if you take into account the need for additional visits to make sure that the move is worth it, and then the wait for the move itself.

It can be done. My relationship of 5 years (getting married this January) was long distance. However, we visited each other every roughly three to four months (got together in September, first visit in January, second visit in March, third visit in June, agonizing 6 month wait till the next January when I moved in with her). Each visit was at least 2 weeks long to ensure that we were somewhat exposed to our natural living habits. If it wasn't for the constant contact and physical affirmation that we were compatible, I doubt we would have lasted.

Is there no way to see him sooner?

>>17286695
Staying in a relationship to spare your partner isn't even something you should even consider. You make yourself happy. He will be whole again. I say give the date a chance.

>>17286753
She didn't say that she was unhappy with her bf though, just that she can't stop thinking about the other guy. So she isn't really staying in a relationship for the sole reason of sparing her partner

>>17286770
Doesn't mean op isn't thinking about breaking up. That's the fallacy of relationships idealistic people can't comprehend. You don't have to be unhappy to break up. You don't have to try your hardest to stay together. You can just walk away and enter a new relationship if you want. There's no law against that!

>>17286721
I smell a lot of if coming off this plan. That's bad in LDR, you need to have a plan or these relationships fail.

Your waiting a year for the next visit? Or the first visit? How long is the vist for?

It's not that I don't feel for your boyfriend, I do, but I'm always for pursuing personal happiness. You should matter most to you, and I would hate to see you wait for a year, destroying potential happiness for yourself. The basic human need for physical closeness shouldn't be understated, being able to touch and interact face to face, no screen, is a big fucking deal.

My advice isn't to give up, but waiting a year to see how it goes is a lot of time commit to a "we will see how it goes from there". If you're committed to the LDR, you need to really commit and start planning your future with definitive dates and plans. If you're not, you need to get out before you start resenting you BF and before you waste more time, both his and yours. Your not a bad person for wanting to be with someone who is near you. Its not asking to much.>>17286721

>>17286753
This guy knows what's up.

Think of it like this
>stay with bf
>date understands but is crushed
>stay friends because you get along
>date becomes miserable but can't pull away
>since date is in person and bf isn't you start to have stronger feelings for date
>stay with bf for him and not yourself
>you become miserable but can't pull away from date
>bf moves but you don't feel the same as before
>feel guilty for making him move and not loving him
>become more miserable and feel trapped in relationship you don't want to be in and you can't dump bf because he moved his whole life to you when you secretly didn't want to

Honestly if you're even questioning your relationship you shouldn't be in it, especially if he's willing to move

>>17286737
6 months, known him for much longer
>>17286744
There isn't.
>>17286808
Waiting for first visit. He says he wants to stay as long as he can.

What's your name?

>>17286846
starts with E