>>17284874
then dump her you spineless pussy let her date a real man. meanwhile you'll post on here in 2 weeks whining about how perfect she was and she was the only thing that kept you from suiciding, now she's riding chads dick wondering why she ever setttled for your

why don't you try and be honest with her about how you feel? not about breaking up with her, but about how you are down and probably depressed? if she loves yuo, she'll have your back and be there for you, even if you aren't your bubbly self all the time.
remember: to have and to hold, for better, for worse

It will hurt her more if you keep faking it, until one day you break and she has to face the reality that she loves a broken and depressed person, and there is nothing she can do, though she will try and try to make you happy, you will only drag her down until she questions what's wrong with herself.
End it quickly, or prolong the misery for possibly years. Work on yourself first. I don't understand why fucked up broken people don't work on themselves before dragging someone else into their hell spiral.

This is so relatable it hurts. I was in the same position as you OP a few weeks ago. Everything you said I would've agreed with whole heartedly.
My Girlfriend of 2.5 years just broke up with me and I didn't see it coming and now I feel fucked up. My point is you don't truely know what you have till it's gone. in this case, is this truely what you want; please for your own sake give the decision deep consideration. You may regret it one day.

>>17284892
>>17284926
Im going to do that.
I'll have to tell her how i feel.
She is going to be suprised that im depressed because im always joking and shit.
Thank you guys.

>>17284946
The reason im depressed its because another girl.
She left me, and it's been 5 years since then and i m soo fckking stupid i cant forget her.
When she broke up with me it was the worst thing in my life, and after that i can't love anybody else.

>>17284874
>She actually told me she wants to merry me.

She can tell you're not happy, and wants to help you be merry? Sounds perfect, Anon. Don't know what the problem is.

>>17284874
i had a boyfriend who left me for the same reasons. you can tell her a thousand times how she's amazing and perfect, she's not going to believe you. she will be angry at you, then at herself, then at you again, then at the world and then she will be really depressed.
I changed a lot since that happened to me, i don't think for the better. but i can't trust people anymore.

If you care about her, make an effort. if you're hurt, heal together. if you have problems, face it as a couple. at least try.
if you try and you fail it will be better that simply leaving with a "what if"

>>17284957
She doesn't know that.
Because all my life i've been this way.
Im depressed since i was a kid and i can fake really well happyness.
Even my best friend can't tell.

>>17284951
I'm sorry to hear that bro; I hope for both our sakes we'll find that special person one day. I just wanted to make sure OP is truly aware of what he wants.

>>17284951

It's okay to see a therapist to help you get over a really bad breakup, anon. That's a legit life trauma.

You've got to get professional help and get past this other girl. There plenty of guys who have spent 5 years with a girl that makes them miserable. But to be miserable for 5 years because of a girl you *aren't* with, that has to stop. She and your concept of her are stealing your life away, one unhappy day at a time. That has to end. It's time to fight for your right to be happy, and the fight starts with getting professional help.

See a therapist. If you're in uni, you can probably see one for free. Even if not, there are plenty of pro-bono therapists. Just make sure you get one that has real qualifications (masters degree in psychiatry).

>>17284969
You are watching this from the perspective of her.
I undestand you would want that person to be with you , so you can help him and you can be happy together but it's hard.
it's hard for me to be 24/7 happy infront of my parents,friends,couples.
I try to be as nice as posible with people i don't even know.
Im going to talk to her about how i feel, i talked to her about my ex when we were friends, we talked about how bad i was, that's the only time i've been actually sad in public.

>>17284986
You guys are my therapist.
I don't have money to spend on a therapist.
I never talk about my problems to anyone, not even my closest friends.
You guys are my therapists.

>>17284987
i only have a question. will being alone actually help?
if i were that person, i wouldn't let you be miserable by yourself.

>>17284995
>I don't have money to spend on a therapist.

In the fucking post you replied to: "Even if not, there are plenty of pro-bono therapists."

You can't afford free?

>>17284977
I never talked about my ex before.
She wasn't pretty, she was not sexy, she was actually ugly or that's what my friends told me.
This girl made me happy, made me feel actuall happyness , i was able to sleep again, i had a reason to live , she was the only reason i woke up.
She told me that she wanted to merry me, that i was the love of her life, and she would always look at me the same way everytime we saw eachother.
People told me that our relationship was like a film romance. xD
But at the end of the day, she lied to me, she said she was going to leave the country, she told me that 1 week after telling me that she wanted to merry me.
She never left, she didn't even thought about it, and she just changed into the worst person on earth in 1 day, Honestly 1 DAY.
She wanted me to die.
But she never had the courage to break up with me, she just wanted me to suffer.

>>17284995
This is coming from other break up bro. See a pro therapist man. Grieving I guess is part of the process but 5 years is too long and you can't let this control you. Talking to someone who is equipped to help you will be a real benefit. As anon mentioned there may be some one who can help pro-Bono so cost won't be an issue.

>>17284987
so you're going to say her: i'm depressed, i'm not the kind of person you thought i was, i don't want to hurt you, but let me stab you with the sudden realization i don't want you to help me, because you're perfect but i just want to bathe in my feelings.
take our memories together and dip them in the blue awareness that we're not meant to be together because i'm passing tthrough a bad moment and i dont want you to be part of my life because endure more days with you would be just painful (did i already mention that your company did nothing to make me feel better?)
don't want to hut you tou

>>17285018
It sound like there's a lot going on here bro. Only advice I can give is to sit her down and have a chat about what made you upset, why she did it, how you're drifting apart, and make a collaborative decision from there. At least this way you'll have closure and won't end up regretting anything. You gotta talk man make sure you reach that understanding.
That's my 100% heartfelt advice. I hope everything works out for the best OP

>>17284874
TALK TO HER. it's the rigth moment to finally let the msk down. let her help you. if you're not meant to be, it will be a problem you wll discuss later, when you feel better. it's no use to be alone when you're hurt.

>>17284948
In the same situation, OP. Except he knows about my issues and is waiting for me to get better. I wish I could delude myself into that.

But at the end of the day, unless you´re happy and bubbly while with them, the 'healthy' self you've accustomed them to, it´s going to upset them. They may try to understand, give you a long hug and then expect you to revert back to your cheerful self.

The fact is, that nobody wants to be in the presence of depressed people. It hurts, but it's true. You wouldn't want to either if you were in their stead. We'd do the world a favor if we: a) man the hell up and get better quick b) fuck off of the face of the earth

>>17285033
Of course i love her , of course she made me happy, i feel less sad when im with her.
And our memorys are amazing.
But i think this will end up hurting me.

Guys im going to talk to her tomorrow.
How do i keep this post.
Ill let you know what happend

>>17284948

Yeah, do that OP, it will be for the better. Good luck!

Reply with results if possible.

>>17285138
Chin up buddy we're waiting let us know how it goes. We'll be waiting so if you wanna unload don't hesitate.
Sincerely
Break up bro

>>17285184
I decided to talk to her tonight.
I'll let you guys know

You have depression and need to get help for it. See if any kind of pill prescribed by the doc will work for it.

I've been trying to break up with my gf for months but she'll kill herself if I do.