Hey guys. Long post, but please bear with me.
I have a friend, let's call him C. So C and his girlfriend have gone through a bad breakup and it's been pretty hard on him.
I should mention that he has a history with abuse, from his mom(physical) and also he was raped. He also suffers from anger problems.
So yesterday, he was going to drop off some stuff at her house and asked me to go with him.
>Driving
>Pull up the the street before her and start heading down that street towards her house
>See a guy get out of a car and start going to her house
>This guy, let's call him G
>G and my friends gf had sex while my friend and her were broken up once
>And here he is going into her house at around 2 pm
>My friend sees this and wants me to scope out from down the street
>He starts getting really antsy and is asking me what theyre doing etc
>I start to leave and we start driving down the main street that her street splits off of
>He FREAKS THE FUCK OUT
>He is literally punching my dashboard(where the airbag is) and is screaming "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
>He is flipping out and i'm just wtf'ing
>He starts crying and keeps telling me to let him out, telling me he's gonna break my window if I don't
>I calm him down just enough for us to park at a park
>He's sobbing now and just screaming and punching shit
Cont.
>He tells me that he needs me to do him a favor
>He wants me to get a rock and throw it through his window as he drives my truck
>Tell him fuck no and that's absolutely a bad idea
>He keeps telling me to just do this for him
>Tell him it will not solve anything but honestly am pretty scared at this point
>Agree and he finds a rock in the park
>We go back to the end of the street and I'm hesitating to go over there and throw it telling him how it's a bad fucking idea
>Finally G, my friend's gf, and another girl come out and get into his car
>I gtfo because I don't want them to see us
>Keep driving and he is still just absolutely freaking out
>He keeps telling me he wants to die
>Asks me what happens if he drinks bleach
>"Well you die. That's it."
>He keeps telling me to let him out and that he needs to get air
>I stop at a school that is closed for summer
>He manages to climb the fence and get atop the building
>Follow him
>He asks me what would happen if he fell
>"You would be paralyzed, it's only like 15 ft"
>I grab him and sit him down with me along the wall of the building, so we're still on top but not near the edge
>I start telling him that I've been in depression and I know what he is feeling
>Start crying myself because all that pain comes back to me
>I start fucking sobbing remembering what that shit was like
>I told him that I'm sorry and I don't wish that on anyone
>Tell him that the only way I got through was through God
Cont.
>He eventually gets down and starts looking around everywhere
>Ask him what he's doing
>Tells me he's looking for something to stab himself with
>I tell him no
>He then starts crying and that he just wants to go to sleep and not feel anything anymore
>He's tired of everything he's just so tired
>Tells me to beat the shit out of him
>I offer to punch him and knock him out but I won't beat the shit out of him
>Eventually get him in the car and we start driving
>He starts to calm down as he;s is texting his gf asking wtf what she doing etc
>She tells him that they were going out to eat and she was with G and that other girl
>After a while he cols down and starts realizing that he overreacted
>Tell him that he has a serious problem and needs to get help
>He says he's been going to therapy, but it's clearly not working
>Tell him that I got through my journey through God, and that is what will help him
>He is receptive, but is focused on other things
>Finally take him home
Fast forward to today
>He calls me and tells me that I need to be with him a lot more, I'm his best friend and he needs me to keep him occupied in case he gets thoughts to do stupid shit(Beat the fuck out of someone or himself)
>Tells me that whenever his mom leaves he always gets the urge to stab himself and shit
>Tell him that he needs to get help and if he wants I can help him with that
>Tell him even though I have experience with this, this is far bigger than anything I've ever dealt with and he needs professional help
>Tell him calling 911 isn't a bad idea, there is no shame in it
>Keeps telling me that he scheduled an appointment with his therapist and just needs me to be there for him
>Tell him I will but I'm worried about him
>He tells me to just hangout with him tomorrow
What the fuck do I do? I've had experience with suicidal thoughts(1-2 max) but he has an URGE, whenever he is alone.
I should mention that in his big argumentswith his gf, he's punched her. In the leg. but really fucking hard where she started crying and shit. He told me that he didn't mean it and that he just got really mad.
I was honestly fucking scared yesterday, and I think he truly is a danger to himself. What the fuck do I do?
I don't want to call 911 on him, I feel like that would make me a snitch, like I'm ratting him out. But he needs professional help.
Is there anywhere where I can take him so that he can get some help?
Bump for help, please guys
In my experience you can't help or change people. I dated a girl who was similar to the guy you're describing. Incredibly self-destructive and manipulative. She ruined everything she touched. If I was an indie film maker I'd probably make a movie about her. I tried to fix her. That didn't work. I tried to be there for her - it didn't help. I tried to create an environment that would facilitate positive change, and that didn't work either. Her mother was terribly abusive, mentally and physically. She had a drinking problem, and a pill problem. She stole from her own children to get high. The girl was just dealt a shit hand in life, and she was thrashing through the world like a rabid animal. In the end I left her. She made me look stupid so many times, in front of so many people. It took an incredible amount of humiliation for me to leave her, but ultimately it was a good thing. If she treated me just a bit better, she may have been able to string me along indefinitely. I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that some people are lost causes. That doesn't mean you should give up on your friend, but it means you should accept that you're not going to be able to do a damn thing to help him, unless you love him truly and deeply enough to start healing him. But you can't force yourself to love or care for him. It's out of your hands, so don't lose too much sleep over this tragically common damaged individual.
>>17284341
Damn.
I truly think that he will hurt himself/kill himself.
If I turned my back, man, his blood would be on my hands.
Should I just contact professionals?
>>17284390
Yea if you think he is an actual threat to society then you should. But if he is just a threat to himself dont have him comitted. No one has ever gone to the psych ward, which is really just a prison for the mentally ill, been force fed psychotropic drugs, and then come out better/fixed/normal or even functional. If he wants to kill himself let him be. He seems to be suffering deeply. You wouldn't keep an animal alive that was slowly dying from internal injuries. You would mercifully kill it. Let this guy take himself out if his life is that bad.
I guess be there for him but it sounds like he's more drama than action.
All the people I've known to get all worked up like that and talk about killing themselves are STILL alive to this day.
The few friends I've had who actually killed themselves didn't say SHIT.
Even saw one buddy at Walmart in paying and talked for like ten minutes. I was buying a sound system, he was buying a rifle. Had a good convo, he seemed to be in a great mood.
>Shot himself very shortly after that with that same rifle he bought when we talked.
Not once had he ever talked about killing himself In the entire time I knew him.
>>17284421
Wow.
So, maybe not make too big of a deal over this? I do understand what you mean, more talk than action.
>>17284453
Yeah. As long as you're there for him in bad times you can at least know you've tried your best given what ability you had. But don't let his problems stress you and don't let him drag you to where he's at. The story I just told has a bit more morbid irony to it than that so at least he doesn't live across the street from you.
>>17284461
True.
He did remind me of all the pain I had gone through and I could see it yesterday. But I don't want to make this about myself.
My goal in life has always been to help people(I'm going through EMT school soon) and I have to be there for him.
If it gets worse I'm going to tell him to call 911 and/or get professional help
>>17284469
Pretty much the best choice you can make. Hope for the best outcome in your current situation, for your sake and your friends.
>>17284480
Jawohl. Thanks man.
