/adv/, I'm in a bad situation right now. I can't fix it. To paraphrase, I've fallen in love and I hate myself and my surroundings. I've decided that if by the start of the fall semester that if things aren't going well, I'm going to attempt to leave the country and leave everything behind, nearly without a goodbye. There are, of course, people who will miss me. But I need to escape. If I do not now, I know that the rest of my life will be spent in mental agony. If for any reason my escape doesn't work out, suicide is my plan B. Please do not try to persuade me out of my decision.
What would be a good place to go? I only speak English and very minimal Spanish, just enough to get around. I need somewhere I can study abroad. If I can do this, I can secure my stay. I am not particularly intelligent and not very knowledgeable, but I've got a good head on my shoulders and can really figure things out if I put my mind to it.
Thank you in advance.
>>17283853
So - you are saying you want to leave the country with the person you fell in love with?
- the person you fell in love with will give you mental agony?
Maybe leaving the country is a big step - unless you live in a small country.
Unless you mean "escape" like you are trapped somewhere and are basically a prisoner?
But if out of the country is what you want, start with English speaking countries with student programs - UK, USA, Australia. If you are brave enough to totally start fresh, you can do anything.
>>17283889
I cannot be with the person I've fallen in love with. Because of this, I am in agony. She is leaving for a long time in September and I'll likely never see her again. I need to forget all about her and there is no way I can do this without an incredible change.
I suppose that when I say "If things don't get better", I really just mean "If I can't find a reason to stay". I know that things cannot get better between this girl and me.
I live in the United States of America and I am confident that I can leave. I have the money. I also believe that I am capable of turning my anger and heartache into powerful drive and motivation when I leave and get a new start somewhere far away where everything is different.
By escape, I just mean escape my current situation as a boring, lost white 20 year old in the suburbs of California.
I only just considered it, but joining the military is also an option. This has the added benefit of possible death as well, so I'll go a hero and I'll be able to rest.
>>17283904
I think you equating your love for this girl to leaving the country is a big stretch.
I agree that you might have to forget about her, but it doesn't have to include killing yourself.
"Falling in Love" isn't a one time thing - You can have an incredible weekend with someone and form a connection, and never see them again, or date women over a few years at a time and be in love with them as well. Right now she was "The One" to you, but there are new "The One's" out there. Dating sites and chat are all out there to give it a try.
Half the planet are women, and most of the single ones are waiting for a man to chat with, so give it a shot.
Love and women and dating can be fun! The feelings for her will fade over time, especially with a new woman to talk to, and get to know, and maybe care about, and love forever
>>17283932
I understand what you mean, but love isn't the only thing that's going on right now. My whole situation is very rough and this is just the last straw, about 1/4 of the burden I carry day to day.
And at risk of sounding like a romantic, I will never find another girl like this. To be sincere, this is my first love, and she is more than anything I could have ever asked for. It's like I was given a personal angel. She is the most unique person I've ever met and every single detail about her is perfect. Even if I manage to find someone else that I like, I will never love them as I love this girl.
>>17283952
Ahh yes - first love is the worst love. Haha i know how you feel. If you truly feel she is yours, then in the future, no matter how long, maybe after a divorce or something, there might be another chance.
But until then, keep on exploring - you have nothing but time, and i promise there are lots of women out there. Get to know a new one - it will give you perspective on this one. You will see differences in other women, some better, some worse. Plus it will make you be a better boyfriend/husband with more experience getting to know how women work and think.
As for your other situations, generally everyday life is hard to deal with, but its how you cope with it is what matters. Find a hobby that you like to mix in with the other everyday bullshit. Own your interests, and you become interesting to others
If you can, let her know you will always be there, and move on with a new one. If it is real, it might happen eventually, if not, love the one you're with, for the things that make her special
>>17283952
Ugh. This is going to suck for your next girlfriend. You might be one of those people, who always compare their s/o to their 'first love'. Nothing steam rolls your self esteem more than having to hear stories about the ex.
>>17284005
It really is the worst love. I need it to work but it will not. I genuinely do mean that she is unlike anyone I have ever met and all of the traits that make her stand out are perfect. My lack of any sort of love in the past also leads me to believe that I won't ever find someone like this again.
I hate to sound so weak and pathetic but this really is how I feel. I hate myself for this so much that running away to somewhere completely new is the best thing that I can think of.
>>17284024
I fear that you're right, but I've had multiple girls thrown at me. I have been through 50+ partners and never felt a thing. Within a week of meeting this girl, I already knew she was exactly what I had been waiting for.
>>17284201
You feel that way NOW, and maybe for a while. Thats not weak, it lets you know that someone can get to you, and thats OK.
Just don't bring up exes with the new ones, unless they ask specifically, but even then don't start a comparing war, or make the new one feel like she isnt "suzie" Just bring up how the new one is better - highlight what you love about her
When some time passes and you are ready go ahead and get back on the horse - If you are feeling bold and crazy, go for a last-ditch effort and spill all of your feelings to her, but I wouldn't recommend that - might only double down on your sadness
