I´m not a neat freak, it´s just common sense that:
>if you´re gonna open up a bag of something, throw that shit in the garbage it takes you 2 secs don´t leave it anywhere and then just come up with excuses and say "I was gonna!"
>you get undressed after work and no time/energy to fold the clothes and put them nicely in the wardrobe, don't fucking leave them everywhere, on the floor to stumble in them, at least throw them on 'the chair' or pile them up somewhere out of the way
>leave shit everywhere, from little things to grocery bags especially in the way and actually make an effort to jump or step over them but not push them aside etc
and the worst that pisses me off mostly is
>consistently doing one or more of the above after I've asked you nicely the first few times to try not to or try to do things differently, coming up with excuses and then BE THE ONE to get MAD at the fact that -I- get mad for the dirt and clutter everywhere, or the fact that I stumble and hit on shit laying randomly on the floor
How is one supposed to deal with this, it's getting on my nerves and when I refuse to come to my boyfriend's place I'm the bitch although I do am willing to clean and help around the house, do it all myself, make it nice and shiny and then it reverts back
>>17278902
It's funny, because women are more disgusting then men are.
Live with a group of women for 3 months and you'll see what I mean.
Well first of all, that's not a men thing, it's an individual thing.
And second of all, that's just the way your boyfriend is. If it bothers you this much, you two probably aren't compatible. People have different levels of messiness and different prefered styles of living, so you need to find someone who has one that works with yours.
why do you care so much
> live by myself
> wash clothes every day at 6:30am
> shower, breakfast, teeth, shave etc.
> hang clothes on line or clothes rack if raining at 7:30am
> fuck off and do my shit
> come back between 12-1pm
> vacuum
> mop floor
> general house clean
> put garbage out if garbage night
> sit on my ass playing Diablo 2 until dinner time or go to pub for 1-2 hours of brief socialization
I guarantee you that you would be bitching about how I'm not spending enough time with you if we were together. I function well by myself and you'd be seen as an accessory instead of an equal.
>>17278905
>>17278909
true, I may have been a bit biased and generalised because of my irritability.
It would feel bad to break up over this, even if it's a big thing sometimes for me. Isn't it something that can be changed or altered a little? I adapt for him in other things, so I expect him to do the same for me.
>>17278911
Because I get stuff stuck on my feet, have no space at all or step onto things that may break, he jumps at me for being "clumsy" as if it's my fault completely but it's like a minefield, having to watch my every step. Not comfortable or easy, hard to feel at home in such a place sometimes.
>>17278922
That sounds actually cool, man. I'm not saying to keep it shiny clean and do all the chores every day, but it's nice to take a little care and if there's someone else who can offer to help, make it easy for them.
And no, personally I wouldn't bitch as I can function happily in a relationship with little time together but others probably may feel different
>>17278938
> implying I would need your help
I find that people who try to help tend to be a hindrance 90% of the time. If I ask for it (which is rare) then yes, help out but if I can do it myself I sure as shit don't need another person to do it for me.
Lots of women have fucked off from me. They feel that the only use they have is sex and they tend to find my cynicism unbearable.
I can't disagree. While sex is nice, couple hours of pleasure a night in exchange for having to put up with the whinges and bitching and drama of a woman turns me off relationships. Aside from sex, you've got nothing to offer me.
Heh. I consider myself obsessively clean and I do all of the above. (My clothes must be folded a certain way, nothing should be out of place, no clean clothes on the floor after doing laundry, fold my futon every morning, no shoes in bedroom, no dust anywhere, bathroom and kitchen spotless, dishes washed within the day always, everything neat on shelves, everything tidy.) It gets cleaned within a day but I completely come home and throw my clothes on the floor until morning. Otherwise the room is kept pristine. Most people I know, even "clean" people who will flip over breadcrumbs on the counter or shoes on the floor, have rooms that look like a tornado hit. Shit all over, this one girl literally piled boxes and clothes in the corner at least halfway to the ceiling. But if you left a cup out she would bitch at you. My point is that your shit doesn't smell like roses and I guarantee you are disgusting in your own way and don't realize it.
You're being a bitch. It's a bag on the floor, holy shit who cares. Be thankful he isn't living like a hoarder like the typical normie.
Also how packed full is your room that a few clothes on the floor cause you to need "step or jump over"? Maybe you have too much fucking shit. If I have my clothes on the floor, I still have the entire rest of the fucking floor.
>>17278927
>Isn't it something that can be changed or altered a little? I adapt for him in other things, so I expect him to do the same for me.
And this is the big thing of relationships:
1.) people can only change themselves, by themselves, for themselves. You cannot change someone and should never enter a relationship expecting to, or with someone you can see would need to change for you to be happy. You need to find someone as compatible as you can.
2.) HOWEVER, No two people are perfectly compatible. There will always be some disagreements. This is where COMPRIMISE is key. Relationships need compromise, not on values or fundmentals, but for small things. You need to clearly communicate, find a solution that leaves you both MUTUALLY satisfied (so it requires both equal work and sacrifice on your part, it can't be one-sided), and then both of you must uphold it. If this isn't possible, you are incompatible.
>>17278902
Thankyou for posting this. I've been having similar problems and I get really frustrated when I feel like I'm the one getting put down for "nagging," and I don't really have a lot of people to go talk to about it so I end up feeling really confused that I might be in the wrong, but on the other hand I can plainly see he's being a complete slob. Just gonna add some stuff to vent because I relate:
>But the floor is where my clothes GO. That's where I keep them
The cat has been living in your clothes, getting cat hair all over them, and occasionally vomiting on them. It's just not a sanitary place.
>He goes out with greasy hair, smells because he hasn't showered in days, smells because he wipes his jizz on his underwear when he masturbates, washes his clothes at most once a month, has stains all over all his clothes, holes in a lot of them, greasy hair down to his shoulder blades which he refuses to have cut because he's "growing it for charity," hasn't shaved in four days...
I know we're just going to the store, but dear god man, it's still going out in public. Have a little self respect.
>tells me he doesn't care what other people think of him
>I'm talking to his friends, they ask how living with him is going. I tell them "Ah, it's okay. I just wish he'd maybe bathe every day and wear clean clothes"
>he gets pissed as fuck that I said that to his friends. asks me how dare i not realize i'm embarrassing him
>wipes jizz on the bedsheets
>picks and nose and wipes snot on the bedsheets, under his seat in the car, or on the walls
>haven't seen him brush his teeth in years
>acts insulted when I hand him a mint when we are sitting next to eachother
>leaves food out. I ask him to throw it away and he just gets pissy and asks "If it bothers you so much, why don't you just do it?"
It is your food. I want you to pick up after yourself.
I am actually worried for his health. He insists he's normal and that hygiene doesn't matter. Am I really wrong?
>>17279038
Relationships aren't about "right or wrong". They are about compatibility.
Like even though someone is "right" that smoking is bad for you, do you really think it will make for a successful relationship if they date a smoker and try to get them to quit? No.
It's the same for cleanliness vs. messiness. Personally I would not be okay with what you're describing, but that's why I wouldn't pick a partner like that in the first place.
>Men
So I guess all women are disgusting since I know a woman who never closes the bathroom door when she uses the washroom, talks on the phone and plays with her dog while she's on the toilet, never washes her hands, and never cleans up anything after cooking?
I get being upset, but come on.
Getting somebody to learn to clean up after themselves is a difficult feat. It took me 2 years to get my girlfriend to see the importance of cleaning up after herself. I showed her all the bugs that were living under her bed, all the clothes that were being eaten by bacteria and worms, all the bacterial cultures growing in her half drank water bottles... Now she vacuums weekly, and I haven't had to clean her room in a fair while.
I guess it just comes down to providing sufficient reason to that person for them to care.
>>17279038
> normal
No he's a fucking slob. I can understand the wiping jizz on bedsheets bit but everything else is pig disgusting.
>>17279080
But the sheets have stains now. Do guys normally have stained sheets? I thought it was common to use tissues.
>>17279111
Do you wash your sheets right afterwards, every time you have sex? It's really the same thing.
There obviously is a limit, though, after which it officially does become disgusting. Lots of guys do use tissues every time, some use them most times but occasionally just say "fuck it," some never use 'em, but either way there is a fucking limit.
>>17279111
That's why you wash the bedsheets.
Also spray the fuck out of the linen and mattress with Lysol or Glen 20 or something that kills 99.9% of germs. Make bed too and there, guaranteed good night sleep.
>>17279038
Sounds like a complete savage who was raised by homeless people. There isn't any hope to reverse this kind of filth, it's a lifestyle at that point. Either accept it, and if you have kids they will be half trash, or find someone who was raised properly.
Leaving food out isn't a big deal to me though. Less than 24 hours and it's fine. I suppose if you have a delicate digestive system it might be an issue, but I've never had a problem.
>>17278902
Generalizing pretty heavily, are we?
I'm neat and orderly to the extreme. My last girlfriend would put stuff out of place or throw her stuff random places just to see my reaction or "play with me" as she called it. I guess you should look for a guy like me if it bothers you so much.
>>17279135
I do wash them, but they are stains and they didn't come out. I'm not worried about germs as much as I think it looks gross and anyone that sees them will assume things.
>>17278965
The fedora is strong whit this one
my girlfriend is a fuckin slob
its not a male/female thing
some people are just ebraindead and cant clean up after themselves
>>17278905
My sister lives in a dorm with other girls, she's always complaining about how lazy and disgusting they are when it comes to cleaning up after themselves
So fuck you OP, we don't really need more intergender hate going around when your own gender is equally to blame
>>17279170
Again, man, I'm not really defending your boyfriend because his behavior sounds fucking gross, but if I saw sex stains on my friend's bed I'd assume that he and his girlfriend had a healthy sex life, exactly the way adults in a relationship tend to do. Not that I'm commonly in my friend's bedroom, staring at his bed.
I change my sheets fairly often, but I just can't do it after every time my girlfriend & I have sex. That's just not practical. Stains happen.
>>17279187
I agree with you and some of the other annoys ITT. It comes down to how you were raised. I DO think it may be more common for men to be slobs just more common for a man to have grown up with a mother who dotes on him and cleans up after him his entire life. Women are more likely to be made to do those domestic tasks as children. Boys take out the trash and pull weeds and pick up the dog poop, girls tend to load the dishwasher or help with laundry. It's a gender role thing sometimes.
>>17279183
Kek, those faggots are repulsive. I've never owned a fedora in my life and I'm not going to start. Don't even wear hats. Why would I want to block the sun from my face? Need that shit my man.
Also I don't revolve my personality around the opinions of others. I run my own shit and live life the way I want, not the way others want me to. Any faggot that wants to be a hero and get in the way of it gets trampled over haha.
>>17279262
>I don't literally own the specific hat so therefore am not a fedora tipper
Sorry, man, but you kinda are anyway.
>>17279262
Yeah, man. That sounded pretty fucking lame.
>Haha!
I'm embarrassed for you.
>>17279301
Lol whatever.
>>17279305
I feel more embarrassed for you if my life affects you that way.
>>17279335
It is true that those who lack the physical hat, may sometimes generate the psychological fedora, that they can wear during their entire existence
These men are rare and are often autistic savants in the art of philosophy and seduction
I hereby deem you as a member of those elite ranks. Welcome, friend
>>17279335
Not the person you're replying to, I have no dog in this fight, but just from reading two of your posts you really kinda do sound like a tool.
>>17279344
For someone to bestow a title to another not only has to be part of that title, but also has to be higher than it. Thanks Chris-chan, but titles are meaningless.
>>17279346
You kinda sound kinda like someone who kinda cannot kinda make a concrete decision in your life.
>>17279357
>damage control
Yeah, this thread has run its course.
>>17279364
Fuelling the fire is more interesting than damage control.
>>17279357
>someone who kinda cannot kinda make a concrete decision in your life.
Not him, but this made me feel like I need to improve my decision making skills. Though it seems like it runs deep in my psychology, this indecision with things
Is there a cure or am I always going to be this indecisive person who only gets places because of luck
>>17279403
Confidence my man, it's all confidence. Try to adopt a mindset where you don't need the help of others and you can do your own shit. Do things for yourself and unless it's beneficial to you in some way, fuck what everyone else thinks or wants. You're the one that runs your life and I guarantee you that while helping others is good, living for them and revolving your life around them isn't. Most of those fags will fuck off the instant the shit hits the fan, anyway.
>>17278965
/r9k/ invasion it´s hapenning!
>>17279079
>I showed her all the bugs that were living under her bed, all the clothes that were being eaten by bacteria and worms, all the bacterial cultures growing in her half drank water bottles...
Yikes
B-b-but they always know better! And you´re probably exaggerating too!
even suggesting this to them sometimes they act like you´ve insulted all their ancestors, like how dare you make such a fuss out of this and have the nerve to ´nag´them
>>17279135
My boyfriend only makes ´half´of the bed, and not even that, where he sleeps. He squashes himself on one part of the bed, half a meter or however much he needs to just lay there and pushes all the covers, sheets, bottles, dirty plates on the other side and sleeps like that. He says he´s good, why bother if he can fit there
>>17278902
With all the
>omg why do all women ________?
I almost forgot there were people like you. It's almost novel given how rare it is on thos board.
Ah, to be young and generalize the human race.
>>17278922
>vacuum
>mop floor
Why the fuck would you do that every single day?
>>17279038
Holy fuck that sounds horrible. I'm a guy and I couldn't even go to a friend's house if they acted like that. So far from normal.
>>17280220
The great bulk of 4chan and men in general don't find women useful for anything
No one even wants to get married anymore because all of you are two-faced whores who will steal all our money
>>17279111
I would never wipe jizz on my bedsheets that gross. The only time stuff like that gets on my bed is from fucking my gf. Even then I'm cumming on or in her so it's not like it's common. I feel bad only washing my sheets once every 1-2 weeks when we are fucking daily.
>>17280536
Not him but i personally vacuum every 2 days
Have you people heard of putting, i dont know, something underneath so that you avoid gross stains and neeeding to wash the sheets more often than normal?
>>17278902
>men are lazy and gross ew!
Im a blue collar worker and I come home filthy but i sure as heck dont go to bed that way.
Who raised you so poorly that you were sheltered from how gross and lazy women can be? Honestly, this type of thing is up to the individual and I fail to see how we still come back to the stereotype that women fart rainbows in the CURRENT YEAR
>>17278902
That's not a real man, that's a man-child. I had to deal with one who was a room mate he was 10x worse than your description, brought prostitutes to the flat, left shit all over the toilet, stinking, rotten food everywhere and his room stank so bad I'd gag when I went in the hall.
Had to tell him to get his shit together or I'd leave. Couldn't take the smell anymore. Made him cry. He deserved it, felt good man.
But yeah women are horribly messy too not as smelly usually.
if i don't clean up after my husband he will literally let things go moldy right beside him instead of tossing them into the trash literally six feet away.
when i moved in with him, i didn't know how unclean he was but i was shocked to find his apartment looked like something directly out of hoarders. when i went to clean out his kitchen stink the stench tained the place for like a week after. it was horrible. but i was in a spot where i couldn't go back, i'm an ugly girl in a desperate situation and he was nice enough so i married him.
i've seen places owned by girls that are just as bad though. there's been more than a few instances where i get into a girl's bathroom and the trash is overflowing with bloodstained napkins. that's just reeaaally unsanitary.
>>17281050
If I leave the housework and cleaning to my wife , she will probably just be happy to roll around in dirt and live like a gypsy in the squalor. I taught her that piling u up dishes loook super ghetto in the kitchen that also servers as the living room in our present day humble home and that going over the dusty shelves and floors at least twice a month is not a luxury... and cleaning is just the easy part... I could not teach her to properly fold her clothes and not put dirty ones in the wardrobe or stack forever on chairs. And clean her desk and put away stuff you dont needso that not every single inch of horizontal space is for indefinite storage...
Were both last year university students..im in medicine and she is studying law and doing well in it but as far as personal space management and cleanliness I could have been married to a hobo.... I guess family example and early training is key. That to say I awlays cringe when I go to her parent's house and everytime see all her mothers junk and cosmetics out on the sofa table.
>>17278922
What do you do for a living to be home free by midday?
>>17279135
>overflowing our landfill with spray cans because you're too lazy to clean properly
>sleeping in a bed of cleaning chemicals
That's even grosser than sleeping in your own jizz
>>17279038
How can you even be attracted to someone who's this disgusting?
>>17279038
oh my god what the fuck
It's not a gendered thing.
Right now a friend of mine is trying to move out and is chatting me up about being roommates. Do you know why? Her friend, another woman, is disgusting.
Leaves her dishes to mold and harden making it way harder to clean them, never cleans up her messes in the kitchen, her cats are literally pissing in the sink, disgusting with her hygiene products, blah blah blah. You get the idea. Whenever she tries to talk to her about it the roommate tries to dance around the topic. Seriously, there's a reason why Janitors often bitch about women restrooms specifically.
>>17278927
>Isn't it something that can be changed or altered a little? I adapt for him in other things, so I expect him to do the same for me.
If he makes that kind of change for you it will be at best a temporary thing. You'll still have to nag him to clean up, maybe just at a lower frequency. To reliably keep a space clean, you have to actually want it to be clean.
>>17281050
>i was in a spot where i couldn't go back, i'm an ugly girl in a desperate situation and he was nice enough so i married him.
That sounds like an incredibly unhealthy relationship.
