I acted like a fucking asshole to everyone up until about grade 10 and never got a lot of experience making friends or talking to girls. They never really payed attention/showed interest in me. This has had several negative repercussions on me socially and mentally and it just needs to stop. It's driving me absolutely fucking insane.
For one, it's left me absolutely terrified to approach new people, no matter how much I want to talk to me. It kind of feels like my legs and mind freeze up at the idea of it. I have major issues making friends. I have no fun at parties or bars. I just can't met new people. ("I do have a handful of really close friends and shit). I also have a really really hard time keeping/making conversation with people a lot of the time, I can just... never think of things to say.
I just.... can't with Women.They're attention towards me has always been generally negative because I was a little twat most of my life. So now that I'm a little less of a twat, I'm trying to meet women and it's impossible for me. A woman showing interest in me kinda rare for me, so it always feels like a big deal and I get attached way to quickly, I get clingy and I overthink everything, and I can seldom be interesting enough to keep their attention for very long. I'm a fucking mess around them.
On top of that, my motivation to do anything. I'm a programming student, currently on Summer Break. I have a job, but since my friends are always busy (they all work full time in a factory and have girlfriends and shit) I have a lot of time to myself. I could be spending my time practicing my programming for the next semester, talking up a new hobby or exercising, but lately somethings been just draining me of all my motivation.
You need a wingman...
(cont.)
I have this really weird anxiety about trying new foods and it's lead to me having and absolutely terrible diet. I've mustered my every ounce of being into overcoming this on many occasions but I can't.
Lately I've been feeling unfulfilled. The things that used to make me happy don't really entertain me as fuck anymore (maybe I'm just burnt out, idk). But I want something more, I just want to go out and live. I wanna get it excited for new things, not be terrified of them. I feel like I'm wasting my college years sitting around in my rut, but I'm too terrified to but myself out there to change it.
I feel unprepared for the world. I don't really feel like I have the life skills to survive out on my own. Idk, maybe I have naturally bad instincts, maybe I'm just a moron, who knows. (I really don't know how to explain this one, but I really wanted to bring it up).
There's just more and more I could keep saying. I'm a total fucking wreck. I really don't know what to do guys. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
>>17276950
Ok, first off my dude, that was who you were. You were young, brash, and socially immature. Conversation should be a tedious task. What are your interests? You should be mindful of where you are. If you're at a bookstore for example talk about books you'd like to read, or ask for suggestions on what to read. Ask questions to facilitate conversation. The girl issues will take a bit more time to figure out. You need time to build yourself up pal. Women can smell a lack of confidence on you. There's no need to be clingy. Don't undermine your worth. You should be thinking that it's their loss if they leave not yours. I hope this helps.
>>17276960
I've had many, didn't help my anxiousness.
>>17276950
that's funny because when I pretended to care about women but I was just getting closer to them for sex I could consistently find a new partner. Now that I want a genuine relationship I stopped lying to get in women's pants and I haven't connected with anyone for almost two years.
>>17276985
Bullshit you fucking liar
>>17276979
You need to hit the gym, try new things , pick up some hobbies, and see a therapist man.
>>17276983
My interests? I sit around playing video games watching cartoons and listening to music. I'm fucking boring as hell. I'm shit at starting new hobbies because I don't have the patience to teach myself things so I don't hold interest in them for very long.
I'm pathetic holy fuck.
>>17276987
>see a therapist man
I can see one for free when school starts up again, unfortunately that means I have to wait 2 more months to do so.
I'm not thrilled about wasting my summer break.
>>17276995
Yeah see that kind of defeatist attitude will plague you forever. There's nothing wrong with playing video games but maybe you should broaden your horizons man. You need to gain some more self confidence before you even think about approaching a woman. Come on dude sack up.
>>17276995
Stop crying. Why are such a faggot? No one expects you to be the next Picasso quit being so critical
Don't tell someone your interests are playing video games, make shit up.
can you tl;dr that wall of text?
>>17277001
Then don't waste it. You want everything to change but you don't want to put in the work. You have to work to see change. Do you want to spend the rest of your life trapped in this cycle of self-destructive thinking?
>>17277006
Lol yeah that's shitty advice. Don't make anything up bro go out and better yourself
>>17277012
Well Idk what I'm supposed to change to get rid of this in less than 2 months...
>>17277021
Change your self-perception. I mean what's the point of even trying if you can't see yourself as a decent human being. I understand you're feeling down but you can't keep thinking this way about yourself man. In two months you could lose like 20 pounds, read maybe 10 books, start playing an instrument. Anything. That's the beauty of it. You could be a better person in two months just by applying yourself
Alright guys I'm going to bed, I'll respond to everything when I wake up
The issue is, it feels like my mind runs on auto pilot. Like the wierd way I think about everything is an automatic uncontrolable response to everything.
Also maybe I'll start reading again. Idk how still sitting around the house will help me, but maybe just partaking in a new activity might make me feel a little better.
As for anything else, I can try. Like I said it's hard for me to muster up motivation to do anything. How do I cure this lazy attitude?
>>17277070
Ment for >>17277043
>>17277070
Go to the park and read, get out of the house. In terms of motivation I can't help you there pal. You need to figure out how you tick and how to turn it on. Maybe the way you're feeling about yourself will be a catalyst for change instead of weighing you down. Only you can make that decision.
>>17277090
So how do I deal with feeling completely out of control of my own head
>>17277658
See a therapist
>>17278039
I plan on it, as said before my school has free counselling services, I just have to wait until September to use them.
Talk to your doctor about getting medicated and when you start counselling try and ween yourself off of it
Go to a strip club and keep talking to strippers until you're comfortable around women.
>>17278741
I mean, that definately isn't the worst aollution I've heard
