I think it's time to break up with my girlfriend. We've been dating for about four months, and I just don't feel that... spark, I guess? My mind doesn't wander to her. I don't think about her when I see other girls. Kissing her, I don't feel that same insane rush that I've felt with girls I was head-over-heels for, and I just quite honestly am into her as much as I'm into a friends with benefits.
I care about her a lot. She's had a very hard life, and because of it she suffers from pretty bad depression. Her living situation is very bad, and she's said a couple times that I'm the best thing that's happened to her in years. Her friends have pulled me aside to commend me on how good she's doing and how she's happier than she's ever been..... ever. She has also said that I'm one of her best friends a couple of times, so I just really don't know what to do. I'm not happy. I'm not hating every second of being with her, but I'm not happy. I don't want to date her anymore, we're not a good fit. As fucked up as this sounds, her being such a downer about her life is actually really, really affecting me. I've listened to all her problems and done all that I could to help with them(and I've succeeded in many ways), but I can't do that anymore. I just want someone that isn't a constant depressive force on my life. I want to be with someone who loves life and is willing to explore it with me.. After all, I'm essentially just an overgrown kid at this point.
So, what the fuck do I do? I've tried to break up with her before (a couple of weeks ago), saying that I really didn't like how I wasn't able to make her happy, and she countered saying that I've made her happier than she's ever been. She flew into hysterics and self-hatred, and blamed everything on herself even though I tried my hardest to blame it on myself. I eventually conceded, and said that we could see how it went, before eventually saying that I thought that we'd be fine a few days later when things got a little better. And they did get a little better. But that was as far as it went. I'm with her now, at her house. Tomorrow, I will leave. There is absolutely no way that I'll have the chance to say this to her face, so I'lll have to do it over skype. What do I do? I don't want to destroy her. I care about her a lot, I just don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore. We have plans to go to Anime Expo and she's looking forward to it as "one of the only fun things happening to her this summer" (she said this before I tried to break up with her the 1st time so she isn't manipulating me) but I can't lie to her anymore.
TLDR: My girlfriend's life isn't too great and I'm one of the few good things in it(according to her), but I want to break up with her because while I care about her, I don't really love her in the same way that she loves me, or the same way that I've loved others. How can I do this, long distance, without destroying her?
I want to avoid a fiasco like last time I tried breaking up with her, so I'm tempted to write out a detailed and thoughtful message and send it to her- After all, I've already essentially broken up with her in-person, I just accepted to delay and prolong it because of change that didn't come because she just isn't compatible with me.
Anons please
>>17276861
My advice is just to be nice but firm. Tell her you want to break up, and put your foot down on the matter. You could offer to be her friend, but that could create awkward situations
