Ok /adv/...
I need some advice
My fucking body is screwing with me again
Only this time the problem is my asshole
First off - I'm a 19 year old Uni student. I'm currently finishing my spring semester exams. My BMI is 23.8.I like to think I have good hygiene- I always take a shower in the morning and never wear dirty clothes .Like all students I spend my most of my time sitting and studying. And now I think I have either hemorrhoids or piles. These big pus/blood/whatever filled sacks of pain that start around my internal sphincter and end in my external sphincter.And in last couple of days I'm in quite a bit of pain. It also itches. Now I know what you'd say - just go to the doctor. Well thing is I'm fucking terrified of the thought that I'd have to show my asshole to any unknown person. Especially if the doc is male. And I'd probably lose my shit completely if anyone had to stick a finger up there. So I'm definately not even going there. Sooo... I kind of see two options. Wait for the fucking thing to subside (I've not clue how long would that take but I'm already in pain so I can't really wait) or grow a pair and drain the fucker myself. I think I'm going with the latter.
So my question is... How should I do it? What should I use to sterilise the area? Is strong alcohol enough or should I get rubbing alcohol? Should I just heat a needle and pierce it or try to strangle the fuck with some dental floss? Should I numb the place with ice or menthol cream? Or should I just do it with my fingers and pop it like a bad pimple? How should I take care of the place afterwards? Maybe anyone had previous experiences with popping it? Please help, I'm in pain.
Thanks in advance
Don't fucking do that, you're opening yourself up to a million infections given the amount of bacteria that lurks around an asshole. Do you want to lose your asshole or something?
>>17275750
Well what do I do then?
Ibuprofen does nothing and it's the strongest shit I can get here without prescription I think
I doesn't do shit for my asshole pain...
Come on adv
Please don't fail me now
>>17275760
You go to the fucking doctor. You've fucked up your body, and anything you try to do now will fuck it up even more. The doctor's not going to care about your asshole beyond helping you. It's just an asshole, it's not the secret to Atlantis. They've seen assholes before you, and they'll see assholes after you.
>>17275769
Man... I fucking can't
I've been scared of hospitals and doctors since I was a kid - and I mean I never even thought I'd have this problem. Even a simple vaccination would freaking beat me.
What's the worst thing that could happen if I drained it that's worse than situation I'm in currently?
>>17275775
The suck it up.
>What's the worst thing that could happen if I drained it that's worse than situation I'm in currently?
The worst? It gets infected and you die as a result of complications from that.
>>17275760
>Ibuprofen does nothing and it's the strongest shit I can get here without prescription I think
Whereabouts is "here" mate? Let me know and I'll tell you the best thing you'll be able to get.
>>17275782
I'm in the Baltics
Lithuania specifically...
>>17275778
Dude, please tell me you're just fucking with me...
>>17275786
>Dude, please tell me you're just fucking with me...
No, it's just common sense. Infections can lead to death, and an infection is very likely if you try draining this yourself because it's your fucking asshole. You asked for the worst thing that could happen, I'm telling you the worst thing that could happen.
>>17275775
Quit being a bitch. Quit making excuses. Go to the doctor.
>>17275792
Man...
FUCK
I'll go...
Can someone at least explain me in detail what will happen when I get there?
So that at least I'm mentally prepared and won't throw up from the stress?
>>17275812
imagine the casting couch minus the couch.
>>17275815
dude don't make me laugh
or I won't have to worry about how to burst my hemorrhoid
If it's hemorrhoids, it will pass after a few weeks. It's not fun. It feels like a dentist poked you with a scalpel in you mouth... if you mouth was your asshole. You can by some salve at the apothecary.
>>17275821
How big is the thing? How long did you have it?
>>17275829
Also, 1/3 of the population gets hemorrhoid at some point in their lives. It's very common. Not dangerous.
>>17275829
Few weeks...
I'd rather jump off a bridge or eat apple seeds and die from cianide poisoning than bear through the pain
>>17275831
It's not that big
I think it's like half coin's diameter, maybe bigger
It's really tender and painful though...
>>17275769
OH GOD IM LAUGHING SO HARD
>secret of Atlantis
Holy shit kek
>>17275786
Sorry for the delay, got sidetracked with something else. Go to a pharmacy and ask for something called syrupis pini. It's a liquid painkiller much stronger than ibuprofen or paracetamol.
Mate don't worry, I had hemorrhoids at one point. Went to the doctors, described what I was feeling and he just gave me a prescription for stuff to use. Didn't need to show him my asshole or anything.
