I don't trust my boyfriend. He hasn't cheated (as far as I know) or done anything to make me feel this way, I just don't trust him. I have never been able to trust someone fully in a relationship and I feel as though this makes things hard for us. He just moved in with a friend of his, and his friend came home with a bunch of people (and a bunch of females), this made me extremely uncomfortable and I feel worried about my boyfriend cheating on me because of this. Clearly his friend has a bunch of drunk people over often, and I'm afraid that when I'm not around my boyfriend will be too much of a beta to refuse a drunk woman's advances.
On top of this, last night we were having sex and he went soft. He said he was tired and sweaty, but I feel as though he just is not attracted to me anymore. This plus the incident with his friend bringing drunk girls over makes me increasingly nervous.
Should I just end things now before I get my heart broken?
As you say, the guy has done nothing to warrant your distrust. If you do end it, are you hoping that your next boyfriend will magically teach you how to trust? Or are you setting yourself up for an endless cycle?
>>17274878
If I ended this relationship I would avoid getting into another. There wouldn't be a next boyfriend, seeing as I've opened up too much to this current one. I can't see myself doing a relationship again if this ends.
>>17274870
There is nothing in your post that indicates that your BF is untrustworthy. You state that he's never cheated but you think he will unable to refuse another woman, but surely you recognise that this is all in your head. It has nothing to do with what would actually happen.
Sometimes guys go soft because they're tired. There's nothing unusual about that either.
Trying to stop your boyfriend from attending partied in his own home is a recipe for disaster. Break up with him if you want, but understand that it's due entirely to your own insecurity and has nothing to do with his actions.
>>17274886
I understand this is my insecurities entirely, that being said: wouldn't it be better to leave this relationship than to subject him to my insecurities?
Also, I've been cheated on in the past.. I dunno if that matters or not-- but I know how stupid guys can be when drunk and around drunk slutty women
>>17274885
Fair enough.
>>17274892
If you don't want to work on your issues and learn to trust again, then yes, it would be better to leave him.
>>17274896
>work on your issues
How do I do this? Is there some magical way of becoming a trusting person? What are the steps to "working" on this issue? I've had no luck in the past trying to funnel endless amounts of trust into people, how does one do this?
>>17274900
Trust is hard, which is why so many people have such problems with it. Therapy might be a good idea.
>>17274903
I went to therapy as a teen and the therapist played board games with me the entire session while asking me questions about what makes me happy.
It was a waste of money, to say the least.
C U C K
U
C
K
You are unable to give him with what he needs. He needs a REAL woman to satisfy his urges. Don't be angry, it's just the way it is.
Btw, I haven't spoken to him since I left last night (after he went soft on me) I don't know what to say. He kept asking me to talk to him as I was leaving but I didn't really want to get into it.
Should I just never speak to him again? I don't know what to do
>>17274915
This is what I feel is happening, I do not think he finds me attractive and I think he will cheat the next time drunk girls come over to his place
>>17274907
Some therapists are better than others.
I mean, for it to be effective, you need to be open to it, and willing to participate, but there most certainly are some therapists who can help you better than others. If you tell them that you're worried that you can't trust anyone, that's a great place to start from because it gives them something to work with.
>>17274918
>Should I just never speak to him again?
If you've decided to break up with him, have the decency to explain why.
>>17274918
At least have the basic human decency to break up face-to-face, and be sure to make it clear to him that it's because of your own issues and that he did nothing wrong. Anything less, and you are a genuinely terrible person.
>>17274870
Guys get soft for literally no reason sometimes. The opposite is equally true.
Take it from a man who has never cheated on anyone - boners are weird fucking things and you shouldn't read too much into them.
>>17274927
We've been together for almost a year, so I know it would be shitty of me to just stop talking to him-- but I feel so shitty that I'd rather just run from my problems at this point.
>>17274936
It was the drunk girls coming over plus the soft dick that made me uncomfortable. I felt like he was looking at me just wishing I was someone hot. I feel like he wouldn't be able to turn down advances from a drunk slut.
>>17274946
Yeah, but thats just what I am saying - I can be in a room of half naked women and not even a wiggle, because I am not interested in anyone except my gf.
But that doesn't stop me getting soft over dumb shit like a temperature change or a slight breeze on my balls. Like I said, boners are weird sometimes.
If you can't get that through your head he is going to seem more and more suspicious over an entirely involuntary reaction.
Anything else?
>>17274960
But wouldn't it make you uncomfortable too if your significant other was around a bunch of drunk people of the opposite sex? Or am I just a faggot?
>>17275002
Not him, but even if it makes us uncomfortable, it doesn't warrant breaking up with someone, or the conclusion that said significant other is not longer attracted.
>>17275045
How do you handle it then? I told him it made me uncomfortable the night the girls were at his apartment, but nothing was solved. He tried reassuring me, but again-- I can't bring myself to trust him.
>>17275052
We'll if it makes you feel any better, the typical response of a cheater is to try to turn it around on you and make you seem like the bad guy.
His response to your worries raises no suspicions in my eyes.
>>17275002
It totally depends on gender (he is a guy so at less risk of being taken advantage of) and whether on not they are drinking.
Drunk + drunk is unsafe. Female + drunk men is potentially unsafe (I trust my gf, but I don't trust drunk guys as far as they can projectile vomit their vodka.)
If it's a sober guy + drunk women, then it's only as safe as the guy is trustworthy. In my case I'd refuse to cheat and arrange transport for those too shitfaced to handle it themselves. But then again, I actually behave like an adult, not a fratboy.
Maybe you could tell us a bit about his personality?
>>17275115
Background on him:
Lost his virginity to me (he was 21), very beta, y-you too...
Personality:
Extremely nice, easy going, very sweet, likes to cuddle, very loving
He's perfect desu, I just don't trust him. I don't know why. I just feel like he is going to cheat on me, plus I know I'm not the most attractive
>>17275126
It sounds like you are just insecure, not that you think he's untrustworthy.
>>17274870
>guy literally did nothing
>"i don't trust him"
You're insecure as fuck.
>>17275159
No shit
Pic related, that's you
>>17274870
Sounds like his friend is banging the drunk girl(s), not him.
>On top of this, last night we were having sex and he went soft.
It's called "Whiskey Dick". Look it up.
>Should I just end things now before I get my heart broken?
You should go to therapy now before your serious trust issues ruin any more relationships.
>>17275126
Yeah it sounds like it's just you. He doesn't sound like the type who's going to go whoring around. Most girls would not be afraid of him cheating in that situation.
>>17275177
it's not whiskey dick, we weren't drunk, he just got soft.
Op if you've ever had sex can you tell me how to do something . During sex my penis hurts my gf and she always has me slow down and not go very deep. It's annoying cause I never finish . How can I get her to "loosen up"?
>>17275192
she isn't aroused enough, go down on her beforehand ya faggot
>>17275164
You memed him real good!
>>17275205
>implying that isn't what he actually looks like
It's obvious I'm insecure, only a neckbeard faggot would point out the obvious and feel clever about it
>>17275209
Only a neckbeard would pick fights on the internet m8
>>17275223
further proving my point m8
>you're insecure as fuck
edgelord trying to pick a fight w me about the obvious
>>17275236
Lol, I'm not even that guy
