My girlfriend can sometime act like a hypocrite and be spiteful for seemingly no reason, how to approach her about it?
Here is one of the more recent examples, me and her watch certain tv series together as they are released, so one week she was busy for a few days in a row and i was really eager to see the newest episode so while i was at a friends place who also watches the show he put it on and we watched it, not thinking it was too big of a deal because i can watch it later with her i didnt think to even hide the fact, so i ended up just telling her about my day with that part included, she got fairly annoyed about it and made me promise i wouldnt watch it without her anymore, completely understandable and i apologized about it and agreed because it mattered to her.
Flash forward a couple weeks she has a few nights with friends because i'm busy with study, we make plans to see each other on the day the new episode is released which happens to be on my last day of exams, i'm all excited to see her and she messages me saying she's probably just going to see her friends again because theyre having a little get together, im a bit disappointing but say it's all good hope she has a good night etc, then later on facebook i see her tagged in post by one of her friends saying something along the lines of "watching x show with the gang", so i'm a bit taken back by it and send her a quick message just asking if she was watching it without me, and she replies saying i did it to her a few weeks back in a cheeky way. I jokingly reply saying something like "haha best reason" pointing out the hypocrisy of it and she responds aggressively saying she can do what she wants and saying i'm annoying.
Now this is just one example where she will take something i've innocently done that bothered her and later do the same to me i don't know if its just an excuse once she has acted hypocritically by mistake or if she actually plans to do it out of spite.
These are traits of someobe who has borderline personality behavior.
If you can deal with being shamed, then "copied" after doing an action she doesn't like in a controlling matter; the relationship can work.
For some it's something that can be worked with, for others; it can be extremely difficult.
Be safe, anon.
>>17274600
Let me guess- you're a freshman in college doing his first Sociology course?
>>17274600
So is it worth even talking about? I find it rather annoying and a bit frustrated in the moment but i guess it's something i can live with. Obviously the best resolution would be if she could admit that it's not the best way of acting and try to reduce it but she just seems to act defensively if i bring light to her hypocrisy or spitefulness so it seems like a dead end.
>>17274577
>my gf is a woman, how do I deal with this?
you put yourself in that situation.
>>17274600
Wtf, no it isn't, just some girl who wants to watch a show with her friends
>>17274577
The difference here is that you watched it alone when you could have easily not watched it alone, although if you're with a group of friends then you're not going to NOT watch it just because you want to watch it later with someone else, as it requires to not talk to your friends or watch the tv for up to an hour, you're going to sit down and watch it because it makes the most logical sense in that situation. It's either watch the show or reject hanging out with friends because you want to watch the show later.
She could have been nicer about it, but I'm on her side on this one.
>>17274577
Women tend to internalize their anger, while men tend to externalize their anger.
Internalizing anger leads to intense passive-aggressive situations like you've described.
The only solution is to change women's culture. Sorry, but solving your problem requires changing society in a profound way.
>>17274657
>The difference here is that you watched it alone when you could have easily not watched it alone
Did you even read the OP? The entire issue was that she was pissed off at him for watching it with a friend.
Anyways, OP, I'm only going to say this: things like this are HUGE red flags. How long have you been with her? You can expect to find more shit like this along the way.
>>17274657
I watched it with a friend not alone, and once she expressed she had a problem with it i apologized and promised i would hold out next time to watch it together. i don't have an issue with her watching anything with her friends, but its not as if they sprung it on her, she knew going to see her friends that night meant watching the show together, that was the entire purpose of the get together, and even this i am okay with, it is more the hypocrisy and almost spitefulness of the situation that bothered me. Either way this particular situation is easily forgotten, the point of my thread is the bigger picture and if i should bother confronting her about similar situations of hypocrisy and spite.
>>17274688
Together for 3 years, she's been in a "i'll do what i want" kind of phase which i dont understand because i dont feel like i hold her back from anything..
Sounds like she has no respect for you.
Seems like a bad plan to be in a relationship with somebody like that. What's next, she fucking one of her friends because you weren't paying enough attention to her?
That's just annoying, man. I'd get the hell out of there. Screw dealing with a child.
I think your passive aggressive dig at her was what she was annoyed at. Stop combating each other and love each other instead.
>>17274763
It wasnt intending to be passive aggressive i was being sarcastic in an obvious sense to call her on being a hypocrite, felt like after she was so annoyed that i had done it to her weeks ago it didnt make sense for her to repeat the behaviour. But i get what you mean, and thats why this situation will basically blow over without a word because its silly and petty.
