I'm an American born to a Ukrainian mother. When I was 12, I finally realised that my mom was actually a mail-order bride. Ever since then, I cannot stop myself from loathing her and myself. What can I do about this?
Why do you loathe her?
>>17274157
Did you come from a happy home and did your parents get along?
Be happy she sold herself to improve your chances of a moderately comfortable life in the US. Dont be ashamed of the thing you are.
>>17274160
It's such a stigmitized thing to have a mom who is a mail order bride. Everyone will assume that your mom was very desperate and your dad is some unattractive creep.
>>17274161
My parents are nice to me. Sometimes my parents have huge arguments but I guess they are ok with each other.
>>17274167
I wasn't born before she left Ukraine. I know she had me and my sister because my dad wanted to have kids more than she did...
>>17274170
So you're worried about what people think?
What people think of you and your family isn't any of your concern. It has no impact on your life.
Don't worry about what people assume about your mom and dad.
Why do you loathe your mom, and not your dad?
>>17274170
I have a good feeling that nobody cares where she came from, especially if she's gotten this far without any drama.
Millions of women would kill to have a shot at living in the US. She won.
>>17274173
Well I loathe him too desu. Just forgot to add it to OP. I dont know... the idea of finding out that my dad "bought" my mom is just strange. I dont know how to come to terms with it.
>>17274167
totally agree. as a young woman she knew there were no opportunities if she stayed in Ukraine.
BTW she isn't the first mail order bride or woman that married an american serviceman when they were stationed overseas
>>17274170
I would assume your parents love or like each other, and you had a good upbringing. You have nothing to complain about except the circumstances for their meeting, which is stigmatized - but considering their relationship, the conditions of their meeting aren't that bad. People meet in a lot of strange ways, y'know.
True story - when my friend was about 14/15 he found out his mom and dad met when his mom picked up his dad as a hitchhiker. This weirded out my friend and he left home. He only left for a day. It was just an angsty teen thing but he realized that in his emo run-away-from-home thing he could have easily met his soul mate. He didn't, but it was possible.
How people meet doesn't matter nearly as much as how they stay.
>>17274174
My mom is MUCH younger than my dad (i. e. 18 year age gap) and she speaks with a Ukranian accent - I think it is pretty obvious that she is a mail-order bride. Her English is not exactly that fluent
I dont know, I wish I was born into an ordinary American family with no mail order bride whatsoever
>>17274181
My patentd lied to me regarding how they met when I was young. I found some letters they have written to each other before marriage and I confronted them about it and I was a teen and found out that she net him via a mail order bride agnecy not when my dad was working overseas
People don't care about this. Like, at all. No-one is going to judge you because of your fucking mum unless you're a child.
>>17274190
To save you some awkwardness and hurt. Parents also lie to adopted kids and it's not to troll them.
>>17274184
It's just disgusting to me - I've always thought of the mail order bride industry as disgusting and I cant believe my parents used this service
>>17274194
I felt really angry when I found out I was lied to. I just wish I was born into an "ordinary" family
None of my friends were adopted so idk
>>17274193
I guess nobody at college will know unless I telp them but this is something that I am asahmed about
>>17274195
Fuck man, what doesn't have a stigma anymore? Posting on 4chan and having testosterone has a stigma. Can't change the circumstances of your birth. You can poison yourself with bitterness and wish you were born into a normal family or you can move on. You can also wish you were born into the upperclass, or wish you were born into wealth.
Or you can just love your mom and dad and move on. They haven't wronged you.
>>17274204
But nobody knows I use 4chan except myself. 4chan is not a part of my identity unlike the fact that my mom was a mail order bride
Fuck her, she's a whore
>>17274201
If he hadn't done it, you wouldn't have been born. Be grateful, dude.
>>17274190
You have parents that are happy, married and are loving/nice to you. That's better than 50% of people and I wish I had that myself. My mother's a huge whore that constantly cheats on my unemployed cuck of a dad who doesn't do jack shit all day besides making excuses of why he stays with her. They had an arranged marriage during their teens. I fucking envy your situation. Your mother probably feels ashamed enough about it as it is. You wouldn't even fucking exist if she hadn't done it. No-one is born in an "ordinary" family, that doesn't exist. It's such a stupid thing to worry and complain about. What is crying about it even going to achieve? Grow up.
>>17274208
Well a mail order bride is something different
>>17274211
Who knows?
>>17274185
Nobody cares but so you know most people admire someone from another country that risks everything to come to america and learn the language. That takes balls. I'd ask her how hard was it to leave her family, friends and country and start over
>>17274206
There was more to my post than that, but anyway, if you want self-loathing as a new hobby, I wish you all the best.
Nothing has changed from the day before you found out unless you want it to be different, and you sure seem hell bent on making things different. I'ma go to bed now. Best of luck.
>>17274215
It's worse than a whore. More akin to slavery. Not only did she sell her cunt for use, she sold the breeding rights to it, sold out her family and friends and everything else in her homeland for a little bit of comfort elsewhere. For a sugardaddy.
Your mom's a ho and you're hospawn.
>>17274215
Wait, you're trying to tell us that you would have still been born if she were impregnated by a different guy? Dude, scientific fact. YOU WOULD NOT EXIST.
>>17274217
>most people admire someone from another country that risks everything to come to america and learn the language
I dont know, see >>17274223
>>17274218
Well you are kind of right my parents are pretty much the same.
>>17274225
Oh, it may have still been me but with a different body etc
>>17274228
>taking a 4chan post as undeniable truth that all people who find out about your mother will treat you like shit
Jesus fuck, you're a baby.
>>17274231
And absolutely brain dead retarded too it seems.
>>17274235
I mean, you cannot "prove" that I can still be born with a different parent, right?
>>17274231
OH FUCK ME. I'm done with your pity party.
If what you said were even possible, you'd be in Ukraine - very likely in poverty and wishing you had privilege that allows people like you to cry on the Internet. I'm out.
>>17274228
that was one punk on the internet. In the real world it takes guts to do what she did. This whole country is built on immigrants
>>17274237
There is no 'you' outside of your father's sperm and mother's egg. No soul factory that would have placed you into a mother who wasn't a money grubbing slavic whore.
>>17274237
What the fuck do you think you were born with? Your dad's sperm and your mother's egg. Your environmental situation would be completely different too, making you a different person. It's like I'm speaking with a gradeschooler, christ. No-one's going to offer pity to you here, you dumb wanker.
