I've always been the type to keep my distance from relationships and intimacy, but once I hit about 18 I finally chose to let one into my life. I'm 22 now, and have been with the same guy, now my fiance, for almost three years. Its a very serious relationship and I do love him and care about his well being, but I'm starting to feel that it might be an abusive relationship. I can't hang out with guys, I can't really have regular conversations with guys without hiding it from him, I definitely can't go anywhere with guys unless he's there, he hates my family because of "how they treat me", every time he gets mad at me it turns into me being crazy or a stupid bitch or cunt with no reason or logic which typically occurs when I do something he doesn't like. There is a period of about 5 days to two weeks of peaceful days in between his explosions, and he nags at me quite a bit throughout the day with subtle hints to cut my hair how he used to like it or to look good for him etc. I'd say I'm just average, maybe just a tad over it. 5' 1, green eyes dirty blonde hair. My face is definitely nicer than my body/no ass white girl. I'm ok with myself, but up until recently he wasn't very constructive I guess, mentioning me doing squats that would make.my butt look nice. He always seems to think my goal is to cheat on him, and if he does explode in anger its always you can get the fuck out and go somewhere else pack your shit. Today he had a huge blowout because I saw a male friend who was visiting from Fl for a little bit while he was gone for some training programs, but when I asked to go get lunch with him before he seemed fine. Then my phone died... And he became enraged because I was gone for two or three hours before I was heading back home(granted in directionally challenged and got lost in my own city....). I know this is only a vague piece of information about our relationship, and not that there are the peaceful days in between but is it abusive and what are more signs.
Everything you've said about this guy is abusive. It's clear he's fucking with your head because you felt obligated to physically describe yourself as if it in any way justifies the way he treats you.
>every time he gets mad at me it turns into me being crazy or a stupid bitch or cunt with no reason or logic
Don't walk out the door. Run. Fiances don't say hateful shit like that.
I should also mention he's diagnosed with acute bipolar disorder
Its really confusing to me, he can be so good to me one week and then all in one hour its just utter turmoil, within another hour its fine again.
>>17274091
I don't know you or him but I don't see anything good about this relatonship. He might sound cute and forgiveable when he apologizes for his outbursts but it's only going to get worse and you have ZERO obligation to see it through.
In my experience if someone is quick to jump to "you can get the fuck out" in arguments, then you really should.
>>17274076
I know you really care about him and all, but the objective reality is that there's nothing positive at all about what you just typed up. He's got some serious problems, and it's probably better for both if you if you leave him. I know that's easy to type and harder to actually walk out on somebody you love, but that's what I think. It's normal for people to get a little bit uncomfortable if you hang out with a lot of guys often, I'd even say that in a healthy relationship you could sacrifice some time with the guys for the sake of your partner, but this doesn't sound healthy at all.
I don't let my girlfriend hang out with guys, and I don't hanf out with girls. That being said I'd never in a million years even consider dating someone who was diagnosed acute bipolar.
>>17274076
OP this is freaky. I am 5'1-5'2 myself and have dirty blonde hair and green eyes and my bf has bipolar too. I'm 23 and we've almost been together 3 years. We have similar problems. Doesn't really care about how I look, though.
I suppose I just needed a second opinion on the matter. My goal is more to fix it than to abandon ship. Maybe some good therapy is in order then. I think when he gets back we'll need to sit down and seriously approach each others set backs on our relationships and what could be causing them. Wish me luck
>>17274260
Lol, are you an aquarius too
>>17274076
Yeah that seems pretty abusive just because he gets so mad. I think if you actively reassure him that you love him and don't just take hanging out with guys for granted, then he needs to chill. Now the butt squats and hair thing to be honest if he suggests it would make your butt look nice then why not? As long as he isn't forcing you I don't see the problem. I guess the wording is what matters, if my girlfriend suggested I work out because I would look really good toned and in turn she thinks it would make me more satisfied with myself, then I'd do it. If she said it in a way like "you should do it because you'll look better" then I'd consider that abusive.
>>17274091
I'm bipolar (the snappy paranoid kind) and I can confirm that your boyfriend is an abusive piece of shit who you should leave immediately. Mental illness is no excuse to not work on your bad personality traits. Most people with bipolar disorder are NOT abusive and are capable of healthy relationships. His bipolar disorder is clearly not the problem here.
