being ignored
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
So one of my good friends recently started ignoring me and I'm not really sure how to handle the situation. I know for sure she's ignoring me because we used to text / snapchat almost every day and now she does not even open my snapchats or return any texts. What confuses me is that she doesn't ignore me at work, we have normal conversations and she still says hi to me, albeit things do seem a little off. I don't really know how to handle the situation but it's been triggering my anxiety because she was a good friend and I have been losing sleep and eating less because of this. What should I do?
Should I try confronting her next time I see her in person or send her a text asking what's going on? I don't know if that will make the situation worse.
Or should I just leave her alone, give her space, and see if she comes back around? My anxiety would go nuts though if things don't go back to normal.
>TL'DR friend is dodging me and I don't know what to do
>>17273129
Just ask her to tell you straight up what's going on. Tell her you feel like she's been very distant and that you wanna know what's up.
You shouldn't worry about what'll happen if you do that and things don't end up going back to how they were. If you don't do something about it, there's no guarantee that it ever will, anyway. On the other hand, confronting her and getting answers might lead to you guys being able to working it out.
Leave her alone and give her space. If you're losing sleep over her then it's more than just friendship. She's a love interest now, not just a friend.
Why haven't you made a move yet? There was obviously a connection if you guys were texting/snapchatting daily.
>>17273129
She just found a guy she likes and is taking with him
>>17273143
She's a close friend. Has been for a few years now. I don't keep many friends around and if I was losing any one of my other friends I feel like it would do the exact same thing to me. I don't want to make a move, I am just really anxious about losing my friend.
>>17273142
The contrasting advice really confuses me. Both seem like viable options. I think I am going to text her tomorrow and ask what's going on because something feels off.
>>17273152
She's gay and has been in a relationship with her girlfriend for three years but nice try. She's not a love interest either way.
She's a bitch if she ignores people and a fake bitch if she doesn't ignore people when other people are seeing her.
Drop that bitch.
>>17273160
I don't know what to tell you, man. Personally, I'd just want to know the truth. I don't like playing games and beating around the bush. I feel like if it's such a close friendship, she should be able to at least tell you something like "Don't worry, I just need some time to myself. It's not you." Regardless, I guess just give it a little more time, I suppose. See if things just work themselves out and go back to normal. If you don't want to do it, don't. If nothing changes, though, after a certain point you'll have to do something or just live with it as is.
>>17273129
love is mutual man, if you text her and she never text you backs at least once, just drop her, why would you waste your time on someone like that.
I'm in pretty much the same situation as you op. I texted her "bye" and she apologized for not texting back much. I pretty much told her it's fine but I never said anything else since then. This probably won't help but idk.
Guys, I'm having the same problem and I'm trying to confront her with it, but she just avoids the question.
It's not even like I'm expecting her to say that she loves me, I'd be just as happy with her telling me to fuck off. She's ambiguous as fuck and I can't help but feel like I'm being a pushy piece of shit.
Like please block me on Snapchat or something? But don't just ignore the question, wait till I say "Hey" and act like I never asked you a goddamn important question. Tired of the fucking question mark.
>>17273210
Oh God I'm this close to just telling her she gives me no respect and blocking her, but I have a sinking feeling like she just wouldn't care.
Did I really just tell my life story to a girl that doesn't care? JESUS CHRIST, she has told me she often doesn't know what to say, and gauging her attitude based on her action has worked so far, but I don't want to live in limbo any longer!
>>17273224
She doesn't care. You misjudged her, get over it and forget about her.
>>17273224
Dude, just ask her the question straight. If she tries to avoid the question, bring the conversation back to it. If you confided in her and she didn't care, you shouldn't care about her. There's no downside here. Either she says yes and talks to you honestly, or she says no, in which case, good riddance to her. Just do it in a way that keeps your dignity intact. Don't be desperate and just deal with it maturely.
>>17273238
HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK GODDAMN IT
I feel like breaking her in half for leading me along, but I know it's mostly my fault. What's the best way to save grace? I obviously can't be an emotional beta, but fuck this girl. Fucking hate what this has become.
>>17273246
I've tried. This time I just asked her to tell me what she thinks of me and haven't seen a reply. Guaranteed she'll read it tomorrow, not reply, and I'll say hey and this will repeat.
I'm like 90% sure this girl has no idea what she wants, oh my fucking goodness she certainly flirted when we first met. At first Ithought she was just playing hard to get, but goddamn this has turned into me talking to a wall.
>>17273248
>beta
Stop believing this shit.
Just cut contact and don't follow >>17273246 because you clearly don't have emotional stabilty to get the truth out of her. You'll just keep pressuring and she'll shut down on you.
It sounds like you are going to end up killing her and wearing her skin on your basement while pretending you are her and imagining you are still friends forever.
>>17273266
I'm 90% ready to just block her, but I don't want to feel like this is one complete loss. It's like figuring out your gf is really a coconut you projected onto.
If I had the cocaine gods bestow upon me an eightball for cutting the bitch, I'd feel tranquility.
>>17273261
Well, based on everything you've said and the way you've said it, I'm gonna 100% agree with >>17273266.
If you want closure, you need to be more levelheaded. The way you are now, it's not worth even trying. Just do what this anon said and cut all ties with her and be done with it. Besides, if she actually did all that, she's not even worth all the trouble and emotion you've put into this whole thing.
>>17273283
I'm more or less actually pretty level headed when we speak, I'm just venting hard and coping with what I have to do. I feel less like shit when I admit I made a melodramatic mistake. It disqualifies the emotions I'm having as blown out of proportion and unreasonable.
It's done, never messaging her again.
>>17273281
Learn to let go. You are not making anybody happy trying to force a truth out.
Somethings are better left alone.
>>17273296
Goddamn it, you're right. Gotta let go, not make it personal, but sheeeeeet. This hasn't happened since highschool.
Now I gotta get a drink, maybe go to a dive bar.
>>17273278
>someone shows emotion
>automatically psychopathic murderer skin wearer
You know, there is such thing as middle ground. It's not easy losing a close friend that's a romantic interest, it can fuck anyone up that isn't a sociopath or an emotionally challenged autist.
>>17273278
>autistic tripfag projecting his fantasies onto other anons
Nothing to see here, folks. Everybody move on.
>>17273458
>>17273482
Ouch! OP feeling the bombs hitting a bit too close to home and having to resort to ad hominem.
>>17273189
Because I don't have a lot else going for me and she is (was?) a really good friend to me for a decently long time. I just don't know what changed that suddenly she's ignoring me.
>>17273224
From the sounds of it she doesn't know what to say back because you're constantly talking about yourself and not including her in an actual conversation.
